Mad Magic

by Nicole Conway

  Soaking a washcloth in cold water, I draped it over the back of his neck. He felt feverish to the touch and was shaking. My quiet rage was the only thing that prevented me from feeling sorry for him. I wanted to leave him here to suffer by himself—it’s what he deserved. But I couldn’t, and trying to rationalize why only made me more angry.

  The hours dragged by so slowly it was almost unbearable.

  Zeph couldn’t talk, and he was growing weaker by the minute. I kept the rag on the back of his neck, rinsing it over and over to keep it cool. I made him some ginger tea with honey, forcing him to drink it whenever the vomiting let up for any length of time. It was a slow, grueling process.

  Finally, at about four in the morning, he started to get better. I took that opportunity to force him into a warm shower.

  Zeph could barely stand up on his own, so I had to go across the hall and change into a swimsuit so I could help him bathe. Eldrick watched me come and go, eyeing me curiously as I stomped angrily through my apartment, but he didn’t ask questions. Frankly, I was in no mood to explain.

  I put on my least attractive swimsuit—a polka-dot one piece with a dorky fringed skirt from middle school which, sadly, still fit. I didn’t want any part of Zeph’s brain that might still be functioning to get any pleasure out of this.

  It was hard not to blush as I stripped him down to his underwear, letting him hold onto me as he climbed into the shower. Zeph stood under the water, looking dejected and miserable, while I scrubbed as much of him as I dared. I washed his hair and helped him rinse, then assisted him out of the shower. He sat on the toilet, the trash can between his knees just in case, while I toweled him off. I roughed up his hair to get as much of the water out of it as I could. It was strangely intimate, touching him like that. I’d never been this close to anyone before, let alone a man.

  The only thing I made him change by himself were his now-soaked, boxer shorts. He almost killed himself doing just that. I turned my back long enough for him to struggle into dry ones, which thankfully he did before his legs gave out and he fell against the wall.

  Once I had him up again, I pulled a clean, dry shirt over his head. He wobbled dangerously again, and I was too afraid he’d fall on me and crush me into the floor. So I gave up on trying to put sweatpants on him.

  It took all my strength to help him stagger back into the bedroom. There, Zeph sat on the edge of his king-sized bed with the plastic trashcan still within arm’s reach just in case. He watched in silence as I opened the pack of Hank’s homemade faerie cigarettes, stacked four of them into a cereal bowl, and lit them. After they were burning nicely, I blew out the flames and let them smolder on the nightstand. Bluish smoke curled up from the little parchment-wrapped sticks, filling the room with a fragrant, herbal smell I knew well.

  Instantly, Zeph’s body relaxed. His eyes rolled closed. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but their scent made me feel calmer, too. I wondered how Zeph had managed before whenever he got sick like this. Somehow, I couldn’t see Hank going to so much trouble.

  Zeph’s sheets were thin, rumpled, and looked like they hadn’t been washed in months. Was that typical for a bachelor? After I tucked him in, I went to my apartment again to change out of my swimsuit, and bring back a few old quilts. I layered up as many blankets as I could find on top of him, but he was still shaking. My stomach twisted into knots. I didn’t know if this was normal or serious. Hank hadn’t seemed too worried, and he had mentioned the symptoms would be like the stomach flu.

  All I could do now was wait.

  Sitting down on the bed beside him, I pressed a hand against his forehead. I couldn’t tell that he felt any warmer than usual, though. So why was he shaking like that? Was it the pain? I could try burning more of those cigarettes, but if something more was wrong, I didn’t know what to do. Maybe sending Hank away had been a bad idea, after all.

  Worry made my thoughts race. I’d almost convinced myself to call Hank I heard him rasp out a few words.

  “I’m so sorry, Josie.”

  I flinched. My pulse went into overdrive. “Stop it. Shut up. You don’t get to say that to me.”

  “I didn’t do it to hurt you,” he tried to continue, his voice weak. “I swear. I would never do anything to—”

  I slapped a hand over his mouth, forcing him to be quiet. “No. You have no idea what I went through.” My throat seized up. I bit back a sob and looked away. “It’s not true. Tell me it isn’t. Right now, Zeph. Tell me you’re not Ben.”

  He blinked twice. As I pulled my hand away, his eyes saddened and his mouth screwed up.

  Angry tears blurred my vision. I didn’t expect to see so much pain in his eyes as he stared back at me. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t get to be the one hurt by all this—it was his fault!

  “All this time … you’ve been sitting here, right across the hall from me, while I went through hell by myself?” The angry words began pouring out of me. “Why? Why would you do that to me?”

  His chin trembled.

  “And after Dad died—you wouldn’t even let me know who you were? What the hell? Did you think you could just send me a check and a few text messages every month, and I’d be fine?” I clenched my hands. “Birthdays and Christmases came every year and I was completely alone. You wouldn’t even let me hear your voice!”

  “Josie, please,” he begged and reached to touch my arm. “I had to—”

  I jerked away.

  His features crinkled in distress. “It wasn’t my choice to make. Whatever I felt for you, whatever I wanted—none of that mattered. I had to keep you safe.”

  “Safe?” I screamed. “Eldrick tortured me! He nearly drove me out of my own home! And you let him do it! How the hell is that keeping me safe?”

  His expression closed up. “I didn’t know about that, Josie. I swear. Your dad never said a word to me about it. All you had to do was tell me, just once, that something was happening. I would have fixed it—there isn’t a force on earth that would have stopped me from getting to you. But you always said everything was fine.”

  “So, you moving across the hall from me? What was that?” I didn’t want to believe any of it. “Pity? Coincidence? You better not say love. I swear to god, I’ll punch you.”

  “I …” He looked away and his brows drew together. “I can’t tell you that. Not yet.”

  I leaned over, burying my face in my hands as I sat on the edge of the bed. He was still hiding things, still keeping secrets. What other lies was he hiding from me now? “You’re an ass. I really can’t stand you right now.”

  “I know.” His voice sounded completely broken. “Just tell me what you want me to do. I’ll never speak to you again, if that’s what you want.”

  I whirled around to grab his face in my hands so that he was forced to meet my gaze. “No. Absolutely not. You’re not getting off that easy, you big idiot. No, you’re going to pay me back in full for all those years I had to live by myself. You’re stuck with me forever. Birthdays, Christmases, Valentine’s Days—every single holiday, no matter how stupid you think it is. I better get a present for each one of them, too. And it better be something good and expensive. You owe me big, and believe me; you’re going to pay.”

  There was a confused furrow in his brow. His eyes searched mine, as though he were trying to decide whether or not I was being serious.

  I had only just begun to get serious.

  “You aren’t allowed to call me a ‘kid’ anymore—not in any way, shape, or form. I’m the only mature person living on this floor. And you are going to school with me again; I don’t care how you feel about it. It’s not fair for Eldrick to be picking up your slack.” I sat back, wiping the tears from my face and trying to compose myself again.

  He swallowed hard and gave me a small nod.

  “And as for my date—don’t think I’m going to forget about that.”

  Zeph’s eyes widened. One corner of his mouth twitched like he was trying no
t to smile. “You mean … you still want me to?”

  I shot him a glare. “It better be the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to anyone.”

  The twitching stopped. He started chewing on the inside of his cheek as his gaze drifted away, as though he were thinking.

  Minutes passed, and I tried to sulk. But at last, my anger gave way to exhaustion. The soothing, fragrant smell of those smoldering cigarettes was calming. My shoulders sagged, and I rubbed the back of my aching neck.

  Zeph had picked the perfect time to get sick. If I hadn’t felt so sorry for him, I would have demanded even more, or tacked on a few days of silent treatment just for spite, but he looked pretty pathetic, lying there with his eyes closed and his face flushed.

  Seeing him that vulnerable made me want an excuse to touch him. I tested his forehead again for fever, pulled the blankets up to his chin, and combed some of his soft hair out of his eyes. He let out a heavy sigh, his body finally relaxing into the bed.

  A strange sense of peace and security settled over me like a warm ray of sunlight.

  That was when I realized … I was so glad he was Ben.

  He’d done a rotten job of it, but he had taken care of me. He’d given me a safe place to live, gotten me into a good school, and tried to be supportive. As much as I wanted to blame him for the situation with Eldrick—I couldn’t. Not completely, anyway. I’d intentionally kept that stuff from Ben. He was a liar. But I’d been lying to him, too.

  And when it mattered the most, when I needed someone to find me in the dark, Zeph had been there.

  Thinking about all the messages he’d sent as Ben, demanding that I stay away from him, made me smile. What a moron. Did he really think that would be enough? Sure, he was right—there were things in his world of mad magic that absolutely terrified me. Things I wasn’t prepared for. Things that could hurt me. But none of that scared me more than the idea that I might never see him again.

  Without a word, I slipped into the bed beside him and burrowed under the blankets to muscle my way under his arm.

  He groaned and rolled his head over to squint at me. “What’re you doin’?” I could have sworn he was blushing.

  “Go to sleep,” I said, mimicking his voice. I was so embarrassed I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him for very long.

  He didn’t give me a choice, though. He snaked his arm around me tighter and pulled me close against his side. “You’re warm,” he murmured, his deep voice echoing against my ear as I laid my head on his chest.

  “Zeph?”

  “Mmm?” He was barely awake.

  I wondered if he even knew what I was saying. Then I decided it didn’t matter. I just needed to say it—as though the words were gnawing and clawing their way past all my better judgment.

  “I love you.”

  When I woke up late the next afternoon, Zeph was still snoring like a chainsaw. He hadn’t let me go all night. The color in his cheeks was back to normal, and there weren’t any dusky circles under his eyes.

  I breathed a sigh of relief.

  Besides betraying Zeph’s big bad secret about being my legal guardian, there was something else that sylph had said last night that was still bothering me. It nagged at my brain whenever I let my thoughts wander.

  It hadn’t seemed so important at the time. After all, that awful creature had said a lot of cruel, taunting things, and I had tried my best not to listen to any of it. But the sylph mentioned how Zeph only had a few months left. I didn’t know what that meant, and somehow, I doubted Zeph was going to tell me.

  After being so ill most of the night, I didn’t want to wake him up to interrogate him. I slipped out of the bed as quietly as I could, tiptoeing into the living room and out the front door. I was looking forward to taking a shower and changing clothes, and maybe even getting something to eat before starting my Saturday errands.

  As soon as I opened my front door, Eldrick was standing right in front of me. He wore a dangerous, disapproving scowl, his arms crossed. He loomed over me, raising both eyebrows as though he were waiting for me to explain myself.

  “What’s wrong?” I glanced around the living room.

  “We are out of coffee,” Eldrick announced so seriously, you’d think he was telling me the president had just been shot.

  I stared at him, trying to figure out if there was more to the story than that. But no, that seemed to be the only reason for his distress. “We can buy more. I need to go to the grocery store anyway.”

  “Excellent.” He appeared satisfied. “Also, the spaghetti is gone.”

  “You ate all of it?” I brushed past him on my way to the bedroom, kicking off my shoes and socks as I went.

  “You said I could eat as much as I wanted,” he said as he followed me.

  Well, he was right about that. I should have known there wouldn’t be any leftovers. I was going to have to start buying a lot more groceries if I kept feeding two bachelor faeries all the time. They were eating me out of house and home. “Looks like we’re going out for dinner too, then.”

  “Will the lowlife changeling next door be joining us?” Eldrick hesitated in the doorway of my bedroom.

  “I don’t know. He’s still asleep.” Digging through my drawers, I took out a fresh pair of jeans and a few layers of shirts to wear underneath a cozy wool sweater. I was busy spreading everything out on the bed, and for a moment, I forgot all about Eldrick.

  He cleared his throat. “Did you … have intimate relations with him?”

  I dropped the shirt I was holding up. “A-absolutely not! Why would you care about that, anyway?”

  He picked at imaginary lint on his perfectly ironed V-neck sweater. “It’s just highly inappropriate, and he is a poor choice in a mate.”

  “Why?”

  Eldrick looked surprised. “Because of his curse—”

  “My ears are burning.” Zeph appeared in the doorway, wearing only his t-shirt and boxers. “Can’t you two knuckleheads come up with something more interesting to talk about?”

  My insides cringed and twisted into anxious knots as I fidgeted with my outfit. I couldn’t keep my expression from screwing up in panic, and I didn’t want either of them to see it. What did Eldrick mean by that?

  I needed to know, and I knew Zeph would never tell me. Straightforward honesty clearly wasn’t his thing. I’d have to try asking Eldrick the next time we were alone.

  Zeph jabbed an accusing finger at Eldrick. “And you, why are you so interested in who she’s sleeping with? You jealous?”

  “Don’t be absurd!” Eldrick snapped.

  “I think you are. Geez. I leave you two alone for a few weeks and you’re already falling in love. How precious.”

  Eldrick’s face turned an alarming shade of red.

  This was about to devolve into a fight, which I was not prepared to deal with until I’d been adequately caffeinated. “Okay, boys, calm down. Hurry up and get dressed, Zeph. I need to do some shopping, and then we’re going out for dinner.”

  He suddenly appeared right in front of me, inches from my nose. “Nope.”

  I frowned. “What?”

  “Tell that guy to do the shopping,” he pointed a thumb back at Eldrick. “We’re going on a date, remember?”

  “Today?”

  “Yep.”

  I blushed. “B-but, I mean, I’m not—”

  “Relax, I’ve got to get ready, too.” He had a roguish grin on his lips when he turned away. “You said it had to be romantic, right? So do that female thing and get yourself all fixed up, then meet me in the hall.”

  I waited until I heard my front door close to let out a sigh. Great. Of course I wanted to go on a date with him—just not right this minute. I was still exhausted from last night’s ordeal. Zeph probably was, as well. After everything he’d thrown up, I didn’t see how he could bear to be up, walking around, and even heckling Eldrick, as though nothing had happened.

  Nibblin
g on my bottom lip, I stared back down at the outfit spread on the bed. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Too bad those herbal cigarettes didn’t seem to have the same effect on me, I might have tried one to get rid of the headache that was pounding right between my eyes.

  “You don’t seem pleased.” Eldrick was still leaning in the doorway with his arms folded. “If you don’t wish to go, then I suggest you tell him.”

  “It’s not that,” I mumbled as I picked up my clothes and started for the bathroom.

  “Then what is it?”

  I paused as I passed him in the doorway. Our gazes locked, and it was as though his sterling eyes could see right down into my soul.

  I turned away. “We’ll talk about it later.”

  He was right. There was something bugging me—something I needed to know. But asking about the curse would just have to wait.

  First, I had to survive a first date with Zeph.

  I took a quick shower, washed and styled my hair, and put on a little more make up than usual. It took me four times to get my eyeliner right because my stupid hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Did my clothes look okay? Were skinny jeans and an off-the-shoulder sweater too plain? I didn’t have a lot of fancy clothes to choose from. I’d never needed any before this.

  As I stood back and scrutinized my reflection in the bathroom mirror, a familiar pain rose up in my chest. I wished my mom were here. I missed her, but moments like this were when I needed her so much it made my whole body ache. I wanted her there, standing right next to me, telling me that everything would be fine.

  Tears blurred my vision until I couldn’t see my reflection anymore.

  Someone knocked softly against the bathroom door. “Are you ready?”

  I recognized Zeph’s voice.

  “I-I’m fine. Uh, I mean, yes. Almost ready.” My throat seized up.

  The knob rattled. “You don’t sound fine. Is everything okay?”

  “Yes! I’ll be out in a minute.” I took a few deep breaths and steadied myself.