She did that to me often. I like to think that I did it to her too. We surprised one another, by letting the other know we knew what they were thinking. We’re connected, there was no doubt about that. I just wonder if that would be enough to make things work between us.
“He’s sick...twisted...evil!”
“I know.” I whisper against her hair.
“He didn’t….”
“He could have.” I tell her trying to keep my cool, but knowing he could have had my angel, forced her to….
“It’s over.” She whispers snapping me out of my thoughts and I look at her.
I worry that she means more than just the whole thing with my grandfather.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Liz
“Are you sure about this?” Tess asks me as she helps me pack a bag. It’s been about two hours since the pretty Detective Monroe and Agent Thornton had left. Parker had held me and we’d talked. Matt had come in, saw us sitting close and had been gracious to give us space. Tess had shown up, taking a break from the bakery to check on me.
“Yeah,” I tell her with a fake smile. Not because I don’t want to go, but because things feel off between us.
We remain quiet, as I watch her put things in my small suitcase. Parker wants me at his place and I don’t want to be here. My apartment no longer feels like home to me. Maybe it’s my body being as bruised and banged up as it is or I need a break from the small space that’s been the background for so many of my memories. Memories of Jake and I, the girls and I, Park and I...even those of Duke showing up on my doorstep.
“I’ve been thinking….” Tess starts to say and I watch her. She bites her lip and I can tell she’s nervous about something.
“About?”
“Maybe...maybe you would want to sell me your part of the bakery.” Tess suggests surprising me and I look at her.
“What?” I ask looking at her.
“Would you would want me to buy you out and you take a break. I would understand.”
I stay quiet not sure what to think. Sure, I’d come up with a similar solution, but for different reasons. Hearing her suggest this, it kind of stings.
“Is that what you want, to dissolve our business partnership?” I ask her as I sit up straighter on the chair, even if my back hurts. She stays quiet. Her head is down, looking at my comforter and not at me.
“I… I don’t ever want you to be put in a position again to protect me over yourself.” She finally says, her voice so raw and low that it makes my own eyes sting.
“Tess….”
“I know… I’m so sorry, Liz....” Tess starts to sob holding her hands at her chest and I move to her, hugging her even if my arms hurt to lift them.
“Shhh.” I try to sooth her.
“I’m so sorry…. I know….” She sobs out and I hold her close.
“Shhh… it’s over.”
“If it hadn’t been for me and my mom … I know why you did it… you did it for me…!” She cries out. Sobs deep within her that I knew she’d been holding this in for a while.
“Shhh…,” I whispered into her short dark hair. Tess might not be a hard ass, but she wasn’t a weeping willow either. Her breaking like this went deeper.
“I told him you didn't want him here...please don’t be mad at me,” she hiccupped and even though I’m slightly confused where all this was coming from, I know she means Parker.
“Shhh, it’s okay…. “
“What if he had listened and you lost your shot?” She asks her pretty face all red and splotchy.
“Then it’s how you said, he wouldn’t have been who I thought he was.” Her jade green eyes blink.
“You love him.” She says and now it’s my turn for nerves.
“Tess.”
“You do.” She whispers and I look at her with wide eyes. Finally I nod. Her head tilts looking at me, somehow reading me, “You want to leave. You’re thinking about disappearing.” I stiffen, something I didn’t even think was possible with how much my body already hurt.
“Tess”, I take a deep breathe, “It might be better if….”
A deep voice clears and we separate, both wiping our tears away quickly.
“Should I give you a moment?” Parker asks, leaning on the doorway, looking as if he feels helpless watching two women crying.
“It’s all packed, can you take it to the car? Just give me a minute?” I tell him, quickly, wondering what he had overheard.
“Okay.” Parker says walking over, kissing my forehead as he grabs my suitcase and leaves the room.
“If you don’t want me as your partner because of business reasons, I can understand that. But I want you to know, I would do what I had to do and more if I needed to, to make sure you and the girls were okay….” I tell her honestly, her green eyes watching me closely, slightly frowning.
“Liz….”
“Listen to me, please?” I ask softly and Tess nods, “I’m not the type to have heart to hearts with, or the kind of girl that wears her heart on her sleeve, but you, your mom, Linds, Carrie and Lucy are as close to family as I have. I’d do anything for you. That includes keeping you safe.”
“Liz….”
“I’m not going to lie and tell you I haven’t thought about it. Your lives would have been easier these last couple of days, and it’d be easier and safer to live without getting close to people. But…?”
“But?”
“But I’m done being scared, Tess. I do… you know with Parker. What I feel for him… it’s … I love him.” I tell her, my voice now soft, I wipe a tear from my face. “But you guys… I don’t think I could live without you.”
“Promise you aren’t leaving.” Tess says, knowing me well enough to know that I’d never break a promise.
“I promise.” I tell her. Holding her hand, I squeeze it to help reassure her that I mean it.
“I’m so sorry about…,” her voice starts to shake and we hug.
“I know.” I whisper into her hair. “No more.” I tell her, shaking my head, smiling at her, “It’s over. The nightmare is done. Come on. I have to go.” I tell her pulling away from her about to stand when her hand goes in mine.
“Wait, Liz…,” her eyes meet mine. “I like him. He’s a good guy.” She tells me and I smile.
“Yeah, he is.” I tell her because he is. Parker is good and beautiful.
“Let yourself be happy….” She tells me and I swallow hard.
“Tess….” My voice cracks. Just because I decided to stay with my friends doesn’t mean I’d decided exactly what to do about Parker.
“Just promise... you’ll try.” She says and I know she’s serious. She’s serious about this in a way that she won’t drop it. I know this because I see her stubbornness in her jade green eyes.
“I promise.” I whisper, knowing that I mean that too.
I want to. I want to latch onto Parker and never let go, in a way that is set in stone, forever. I want it so bad that I can taste it. I want to belong to him and him to belong to me. I just hope that after all this we can still make it work.
Parker
Liz is finally all settled into my place. Her suitcase filled with clothes and toiletries is in my room, she’s lying down in my bed. I hope that my housekeeper had been able to air out the house enough to get rid of the lingering scent from my cologne. I’d had her throw it away. I’d also thrown away my sheets and pillows and had Joan, my assistant, buy and bring over new ones.
I’d finished making us a couple of sandwiches, some fruit salad, and placed it with glasses of iced tea on a tray. I carried the tray into the room, and stare at her from the doorway. Knowing she’s here, safe and sound, in my space settles something deep within me.
She’s lying down on her side, facing the large window that looks towards the backyard, her hands under her cheek. I know she isn’t asleep. Her body is curled up tightly into a ball. Her beautiful body covered up from head to toe. She’d switched my grey hoodie, for one of her own, this one a
soft buttery yellow that she’d matched up with ebony black yoga pants and soft looking, cream colored socks. The tighter fit of the clothes show the lines and curves of her body but it didn’t show skin. This was my girl shielding herself. Normally my angel showed skin, lots of it. But under the circumstances I understood..
Her eye’s healing, slightly less swollen, some of the scratches have started to scab and heal, and bruises that were black are changing into a bluish hue. I place the tray at an end table and kneel on the floor in front of her.
“Hey,” I say softly, feeling stupid and useless at not knowing what to say to her. She stays quiet. Her dark brown eyes are watching me silently. She’s been really quiet and I’m afraid that all the walls I’d broken down, she’s built right back up. Not that I’d blame her if she had.
Her dark eyes are on mine and now opened wider than this morning.
“Hi,” her voice soft and cautious, her hand under her face.
“I made food… hungry?”
“You didn’t have to….”
“I know… want to eat outside? The suns out, we could watch it set.” I suggest, kneeling on the floor in front of her.
“Park...,” she starts to say but stops. The hesitation in her eyes kills me. I don’t want her to feel like she can’t tell me things.
“Yeah?” I ask hoping that she’ll tell me whatever it is that has those beautiful browns look so worried about. I can see she wants to ask me something, but stays quiet, so I push a little. “Whatever it is… ask… please, angel….”
“Can you hold me?” She asks so fucking softly, I’m not sure that I heard her right. “I mean… if you want too...it’s just… never mind…,” she starts to ramble nervously and I can’t look away.
Fuck. Fuck. My angel will never cease to amaze me.
“Yes.” I say calmly but I know the ragged emotion in my voice gave me away.
I haven’t fucking held her in my arms for a couple of days and it’d been killing me, but I hadn’t because I didn’t want to crowd her or push her. She scoots over silently and I take up the space that she vacated. I’m on my side looking at her, trying to figure out how to hold her, so that I don’t overwhelm or hurt her. I wrap my arm around her slowly, as gentle as I can. I haven’t seen exactly how bruised her body is but I’ve heard the girls whispering.
Both of us on our sides, facing one another I pull her closer to me, she nuzzles her face into my neck. After a while, her hand moves to the front of my chest stroking the fabric of my t-shirt.
“Is this okay?” I ask her and I feel her nod against my throat.
“Perfect.” She whispers, her warm breath against my skin. Her small fragile body wrapped in my arms. Knowing she’s safe, really fucking safe and in my space, I can finally fucking breathe. Really breathe. I stroke her hair gently, feeling the soft silky tresses under my fingers. I feel her breathing slow down my own eyes start to feel heavy. I try to fight it, but I fall asleep, holding my sleeping angel in my arms.
***
“Park….” Liz’s voice whispers and I feel a small nudge.
“Hmmm,” I mumble my eyelids heavy.
“Park….” She whispers again.
“Hmmm,” I grunt.
“Baby… Park... I need your help.” That makes me open my eyes. No longer in my arms, she’s sitting at the edge of the bed. I look up at her, quickly sitting up, with my back to the headboard.
“Hey, what’s up?” I ask her, my eyes roam over her.
She looks at me, her eyes worried about something.
“Do you need a painkiller?” I ask, afraid to get too close to her. She seems worried or frightened. Did she have a nightmare and I somehow slept through it? She shakes her head slowly, her eyes going to her hands now in her lap.
“What is it?” I ask scooting closer to her, placing a gentle hand on her face, she looks at me.
“I… I need to shower,” she says, her cheeks burning as if embarrassed about something.
“Okay….”
“Lucy is out of town, Carrie went back to work and Tess’s mom…,” she sighs, looking away. “I need help showering,” she finally whispers.
My girl’s embarrassed to ask me for help in shower?
“Okay. I’ll help you.”
“But… umm….”
“Whatever it is angel, I’m here. I can handle it. Let me handle it.” I tell her and she looks at me with wide eyes. The bruising is still bad, but a little less dark. She nods and gets off the bed. I follow her, grabbing two huge new bath towel sheets that Joan picked up.
“I...umm brought my shower stuff in already,” she says nervously.
“Okay.”
“I….” She starts to say, opening and closing her mouth.
“Angel, look at me,” I tell her. When her eyes meet mine, I gently stroke the skin alone her jaw and she lets me, she doesn't flinch or push me away. If anything she moves into my touch. “Tell me what you need.”
“I can’t get the bandages at my wrists wet. I need help getting undressed and dressed. It hurts to bend...I'm so sorry I….” Her eyes start to get glassy, her voice soft and shaky.
“Shhh… I have you.” I tell her and she nods. Her eyes are so fucking vulnerable. I start to unzip the hoodie, her hand covers mine gently. She doesn’t push it away she just puts her hand over mine.
“Park.”
“Yeah?” I look at her, her eyes meet mine.
“My body… the bruises are worse.” Like a light bulb turning on, I figure out what has her so nervous. She’s nervous about me seeing her body.
“Okay.” I tell her, without thinking I kiss her forehead and her eyes close slowly. Her hand comes off of mine, and I unzip her hoodie. Slowly and gently I take it off of her, leaving her braless in a black camisole underneath. I look at her neck and bite down hard. Dark black and purple bruising cover her neck from that asshole choking her. The evidence of how badly beaten she’d really been is staring right at me. My mouth goes dry as my eyes roam over her bare skin. Bruises in all different shades and sizes cover her arms. Fuck! FUCK! Emotion takes hold of me, I pull her close to, my face is buried in her neck, my breathing ragged as I inhale the sweet scent of her skin.
“I’m okay.” She whispers her arms tightening around me.
“I know.” my voice sounds gruff, I am afraid to look at her in her eyes, so I hold her closer. Then something happens. Something deep within me tightens, something clicks and I know exactly what I’m going to do. I step back, and kneel in front of her.
“Park…?”
“Shhh….”
I use my fingers to hook the waistband of her yoga pants and pull them down. She steps out of them. I look at her bruised skin. So fucking bruised, it kills me. The sick fucks were lucky they were in jail or dead. Fingertip shaped bruises all over her thighs. She trembles, her hands at my shoulders. I lean in and kiss every bruise. Softly, slowly, gently with reverence.
“No one….” I kiss a bruise above her right knee, “will ever….” I kiss another on her outer thigh, “put their hands on you….” I tell her between kisses. “I promise you, angel. I will never let anyone do this to you. Ever again….” My voice is gruff, and vision blurry.
“I promise you.” I feel the wetness on my cheeks, I don’t give a shit.
“I know. I know.” She whispers, sniffling.
“No one will ever hurt you.” My lips at her hips, “I swear to you.” I promise her between kisses, “I’ll die before anyone ever hurts you again.” I vow, meaning it completely. Once I kiss every single bruise from her hips to the tops of her feet I stand up. Small steams of tears roll down her face, I gently wipe them away. Then I wipe my own away.
I lift the camisole gently and look down. More bruises. More fucking bruises down her torso! Fuck! FUCK!
“Park….”
“Shhh….” I step back and start to warm up the water in the shower. I lift off the white tee and PJ pants I’d slept in, leaving my black boxer briefs on. As the water war
ms up, I kiss the bruises on her shoulders and down her arms. I move slowly and gently to the slight roundness of her stomach to her ribs. I keep repeating the same promises.
No one would ever touch her again. I’ll die before anyone ever laid a hand on my angel again. I’d kill before anyone touched her.
When I’m done, I bring her into the warm shower, careful not to get her wrists wet. Her hands go to my chest, small and delicate and something in my chest tightens. I reach for shampoo and she surprises me by leaning her entire front to mine, her hands going to my back. My hands cupped the back of her head and she presses even closer into my body.
“Don’t let me go,” she whispers into my skin and I hold on tighter.
This is my angel. Giving me this, letting me know what she needs, even when it fucking terrifies her to do so, and it leaves me humbled.
“Never,” I tell her, my face in her hair, her face in my chest. I hold her close with one arm and let the other gently stroke her hair.
“I’m...I was scared you wouldn’t want me anymore… I know that….” She mumbles, sniffling and hiccupping, her silent tears running down her face and onto my chest.
“Shhh…we’re going to be ninety-two together and I’ll still want you, angel.” My voice is thick with emotion and hoarse as I hold back my own tears. “I’m sorry I failed you…,” I tell her. My voice is deep, broken. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” Her hands move from my chest and onto and around my waist. She’s holding me, I’m holding her. Fuck. She’s so damn strong, she amazes me.
“You didn’t. You got that agent to me in time. I …,” she looks up at me, the shower wetting her hair, her dark eyes on mine. “Don’t let me untie myself from you.” Tears roll down her face, her worry and fear crystal clear.
“Never,” My voice cracks, I know she’s looking at my own tears running down my face, but I don’t give a fuck. I hold her close. Stroke her hair down her neck, and do it all again over and over.
“You’re mine, angel… only mine… don’t ever push me away, baby.”
“Never,” she sobs her body shaking against mine. I hold us both upright and together.
We stand there and after a bit I wash and condition her hair. I scrub down her body gently. When the soap is rinsed away from both of us and the water starts to turn cold, I turn it off and grab the towels. I wrap one around her and then one around my own waist. We walk to the bedroom, where I dress her in a pair of soft grey sweats that hang low on her hips and a pink long sleeve shirt. I quickly change into dry boxer briefs and green basketball shorts, grabbing a comb on my way to her.
Etched in Stone (Six Degrees Series Book 2) Page 35