“What’s in the case?”
“Breakfast.” He sets out some grapes, apple juice and a few white takeaway bags, the kind that hamburgers usually came in. They’re sodden and the oil has soaked through, but I couldn’t care less. This impromptu picnic is singlehandedly the most romantic thing a guy has ever done for me.
“You brought me on a picnic?” Tears were springing to my eyes, which was so unbelievably stupid and girly.
Elijah glances up at the quaver in my voice and baulks. “Shit, baby girl, don’t cry. It’s just a couple of soggy egg and bacon rolls and the beach on a beautiful day.”
“I love soggy egg and bacon rolls.” I say and plonk myself down on the Tartan blanket, knowing all the while that I mean infinitely more than loving greasy breakfast hamburgers. I know next to nothing about Elijah’s past. It drives me crazy, knowing that in a small way I have him, and yet the secrets that he keeps ensure I’ll never really have him at all, not until he learns he can open up to me and trust me the way I want him to. Despite all his secrecy and the fact that I haven’t really had anything else to compare it to, I think I’m in love with him. Each day I feel myself falling a little more, and I don’t really know what that means for either of us. Sure, he’s here with me now. And yes, he seems content living in Sugartown and working at the shop with my dad, but for how long?
Elijah wipes away a tear and cups my cheek. “You okay?”
God, I’m such a head case. He’d probably start running for the hills if I said the words I’d just been thinking out loud.
“Yeah.” I nod, and set about schooling my features into something that don’t resemble a sobbing, snivelling crazy person. “It’s just, every time I think you couldn’t possibly get any more perfect, you do something that surprises me.”
He laughs and then seems to sober a little when he realises I’m serious. “I’m far from perfect, darlin’.”
“No you’re not. Not to me.” I crawl across the mat towards him and take his face in my hands, kissing his lips softly. He lifts me up and sets me back down in his lap so I’m straddling him.
“You’re incredible.” I pepper his face with kisses as I say, “You’re generous, sweet and unbelievably accommodating between the sheets.”
He laughs and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear as he says, “You’re unbelievably easy to accommodate.”
“You’re beautiful.” He raises a brow and I roll my eyes and add, “In a very rugged, manly sort of way. And the way you are with Sammy? He’s special, and a lot of people don’t see that, but you do. Plus, you said you like my pie.”
“Darlin’, there isn’t a man alive who wouldn’t like your pie,” he mocks, and I give him a playful slap across the arm.
“Face it, mister. You’re a catch and I’m not letting you get away.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not going anywhere,” he says and falls backward onto the soft sand, kissing me senseless.
After our soggy rolls and a swim we lay on the blanket, wrapped in one another’s arms, despite the heat. I trace the tattoo over his chest and say, “Tell me about your tattoos.”
“What do you want to know?”
Everything. But namely why another girl’s name is emblazoned on your heart, and is there a reason why you haven’t had it removed before now when you’re clearly not together?
I can’t say that, though. I have to ease my way into questions with Elijah because his instinct is to shut down my questions by distracting me with bone-melting orgasms. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it does make it difficult to get to know him better.
“Who’s Lilly?”
Crap. So much for easing into it.
He makes this scoffing sound in the back of his throat, like a derisive laugh, only it’s laced with anger. “Somethin’ on your mind, Ana?”
“I think it’s a fair question, considering you had her name permanently etched into your skin. And over your heart, no less.” Even as I’m saying the words, I’m still not sure why it’s all that important. I don’t know why I’m being so irrational about it. I mean, it’s a bit of ink, for god’s sake, just five little letters that could have belonged to anyone. It could be the name of his beloved pet pooch, but my blood feels like it’s simmering inside my veins no less.
Elijah shifts out from under me and begins gathering together our things.
“What are you doing?”
“I think we should head back. You’ve got some work to do at the shop, and I’ve got some things to take care of.”
“Seriously?” I stand up, too, so that he’s not doubled over talking to me like I’m a naughty child. He’s incredibly intimidating when he towers above me like that. Even if I wasn’t 5’2, he’d be intimidating regardless, but at least this way I’m able to look him in the eye. Kind of. “You’d seriously rather run than have a conversation about your ex?”
“She’s not my ex.”
“Then who is she?”
He looks me dead in the face, and the rage I see swirling in those pretty dark eyes makes my stomach clench. “No one you need to worry about. She’s dead.”
I know that. Or at some point I’d guessed as much, but I still feel like crap when I hear the words flee his mouth and see his anger turn to sadness. Irrationally, that just makes me angrier.
“You don’t talk about your past. In fact, you go out of your way to change the subject, like you’re ashamed of where you come from.”
“I am ashamed!” he bellows, and I snap my head back as if he’s just struck a physical blow. I spin on my heel and start heading for the path, though I have absolutely no idea what I’ll do when I get there. I’m not crazy enough to hitchhike—I saw Wolf Creek, people—but I’m not sure I want to spend the next hour on the back of the bike snuggled up to Elijah, either.
“Ana, get back here,” he growls.
“Screw you!”
“Where you gonna go, baby girl?” he singsongs, and because I can practically feel him breathing down my neck, I pick up the pace. The next thing I know I’m airborne, and Elijah flips me over his shoulder like a goddamn cave man.
“Put me down, arsehole.” I kick and scream and pound on his back with my fists. I think I may have even got in a shot to the side of his head with my knee.
“You keep strugglin’, baby girl. I can do this all day.”
I believe him, too. The boy’s probably got enough stamina to stand there for several days, but the minute I stop acting up he unceremoniously dumps me onto the blanket and crouches in the sand before me.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled, I just …” He exhales loudly and looks down the empty beach before meeting my gaze. “I guess there isn’t a whole lotta good to talk about, you know? The shit I’ve seen. The shit I’ve done. I’m not proud of any of it.”
“I’ve done things I’m not—”
“I’ve done time, Ana. Twice.”
I feel my eyes widen in surprise. He’d hinted as much the night of our “date” but I thought it was all just for show. I didn’t believe that he’d actually been in jail.
“Yeah, not so perfect now, am I?
“You hurt anyone?”
He shakes his head solemnly. “Just my future and any shot I might have had at a real career. I fix bikes because I’m good at it. I’ve been taking engines apart and putting them back together since I was ten years-old. Sometimes I think I have oil running through my veins instead of blood. I make enough to get me from one town to the next, but it’s not any kind of life. Sure as shit not enough of one to drag someone like you into it.”
“Someone like me?”
“Baby girl, you could have any man you want and instead you settle for a broke ex-con.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer to my next question. In fact, I was pretty sure I’d really rather not know, but I had to ask all the same. “What did you do?”
“The first time?”
I nod.
“Stole a car with some buddies
of mine, took it for a test drive and wrapped it around a telegraph pole. Sean ended up with a concussion and a broken arm, Luke had a cracked rib and Brent and I walked away unscathed—at least until they found out I was driving. Then they marched me straight into juvie and spat me out three years later.”
“And the second time?”
He swallows, hard. “Part of my release on good behaviour is that I can’t talk about it.”
“Well, that’s convenient,” I deadpan.
“It’s the truth.” Elijah swipes a hand over his face. “Look, I should have told you this a lot sooner—”
“No shit.”
“I’ve kept my nose clean since I got out. I don’t plan on ever going back. That shit’s done with. There are parts of my life that I can’t talk about and others that I won’t. If you think you can handle that then great, if not, then we end this thing right here.”
“What is this thing?”
“You tell me.”
Easier said than done. Yes, I was falling for the guy, but holy crap, how do you fail to mention something this huge to someone you care about? And does he really care about me, or am I just a way to pass the time between this town and the next?
I finally meet his gaze and I’m surprised by the amount of anxiety I see there. It softens my anger, just a little, enough to understand why he’d keep this a secret from me. Aside from the fact that it’s been court ordered, that is. “Does my dad know?”
Another solemn nod. “One of the stipulations of my release is that I have a job to go to before I move on anywhere. I have a parole officer who rides my arse if I’m more than an hour late to check in with both her and my new employer. If I break parole I go back inside, hard time and no hearing.”
“And he’s okay with this?”
“When he gave me the job, he was, but when I met you—hell no! Why do you think he fought so hard to keep me away from you? He wanted to string me up by my balls after he found out you’d spent the night with me.”
“Well, I kinda know how he feels.”
“I’m sorry, Ana.” He tentatively cups my face in his hands, as if he’s afraid I’ll pull away. I don’t. I lean into his touch instead. “It didn’t feel right, telling you before now. I’m working hard to keep that shit buried, you know, but sometimes it all just resurfaces and kicks me in the nuts.”
“I get it, I do. But if you lie to me again, Cade, it won’t be my dad you’ll have to watch out for.”
“Shit, baby girl.” Elijah ducks his head and his dimples come out swinging. “You’re pretty bloody scary when you wanna be.”
“I learned from the best.”
“No arguments there.”
Chapter Thirteen
Elijah
You’d think having a kid along on a date would seriously cramp any chances I had of getting his older sister naked beneath me by the end of the night, but whenever Ana saw me treating her kid brother like my six-year-old best mate, it’s like her maternal instincts went into overdrive. At nineteen, she may not have been aware that her body clock was already set to the soccer mum setting, but it was as plain as fuck to me. She’ll make an incredible wife and mother someday, and I feel a pang of stupid jealously that I won’t be around to see it.
I can feel her eyes on Sammy and me as our dodgem car careens head first into a couple of little punks that’d been out for blood since the ride began. She leans against the wire fence, her cheeks flushing as she spears her bottom lip with her teeth. I can practically feel the lust emanating off her. A couple of guys her age stop to check out her arse as I feel both a swell of pride and possessiveness roll over me. That arse is mine, and in just a few short minutes I’ll show everyone by slipping my hand into the back pocket of her jeans and squeezing it until she yelps. For now, I’ll avenge the beating we’re taking from these little Justin Bieber lookalike shits.
Sammy lets out a squeal of a laugh, his head thrown back as another little turd ramrods us in the rear.
“You okay, buddy?” I ask and he nods. “Whaddya say we hit these fools where it hurts?”
“Do it!” he screams and flies back against the seat as I hit the pedal to the floor. Christ, he’s so bloody little, I’m surprised the jolt doesn’t break him in half. We take off after the fuckers, side-slamming both their cars into the guardrail at once.
Ignoring the signs about remaining seated while the ride is in action Sammy jumps up on his seat and gives them both the finger. “Eat thit fuckerth.”
I laugh before catching sight of Ana on the sidelines. I can practically see the steam pouring out of her ears. She’s ranting about something, though the candy-coated shit they call pop music is grating at my eardrums and blocking whatever the hell it is she’s raving about.
“Dude, sit down. You’re totally cock-blocking me right now!” I yank Sammy back down in his seat.
“Whath cock-blocking?”
My eyes go wide with horror and then I laugh. “Ask your sister.”
The end of some tragic bloody Lady Gaga song signals the ride’s end and, before I can stop him, Sammy’s up in his seat again and screaming at his sister, “Ana, Elijah thaid to athk you what cock-blocking meanth.”
Every person within fifty metres turns their head to gawk at us. I throw Ana a sheepish grin and her returning glare is both a thing of wonder and the kinda shit nightmares are made of.
“Both of you get your bums over here, now!”
Aww shit, I am never getting near that pussy again.
“Thee lookth mad.” Sammy stares up at me as we make our way over to the gate.
“Here’s twenty bucks.” I fish a note out of my wallet and slap it in his little hand, “See that fairy floss stand over there?”
He follows the line of my pointed finger. “Go get us a couple bags, okay? I’ll handle your sister.”
The man opens the gate for us and gives me a brief lecture about standing up while the ride is in progress. I assure him it won’t happen again and nudge Sammy forward, before turning to face the firing squad.
“Sammy, get back here!” Ana screams after her brother but I pull her toward me to stop her from going after him. The fairy floss stand is less than five metres away and I’m keeping a close eye on him, but she’s not satisfied with that and struggles in my grasp.
“Let go of me.”
“He’s fine. I sent him across to get us some sugary goodness. You look like you need it.”
“What the hell happened back there, Elijah?” God, she’s so fucking hot when she’s fuming. “I leave him alone with you for five seconds and already he’s swearing like a sailor?”
“Come on, baby girl, it was an accident.”
“Yes, because I can totally see how the words cock-blocking slip out when you’re conversing with a six year old. You have to be careful around him, Elijah. Kids are like sponges, they absorb everything they see and hear. What the hell am I going to do when he repeats something like that in class?”
“Hey, would you relax?” I rub my hands up and down her arms. “Kids say all kinds of shit these days.”
“Relax? Is that what you’re going to be, relaxed, when my dad’s castrating you for teaching his son what cock-blocking means?”
“That depends. Will you come and nurse me back to health?” I kiss her lips and begin trailing kisses down her neck, careful to indulge that sweet spot that she loves so much just beneath her ear.
“Maybe.” She’s still not happy with me, so I dart my tongue out and lap at the soft skin. Fuck she tastes good, like vanilla and cookie dough. Her breathing becomes heavier, her eyelids close and her mouth opens in an ‘O’. “Okay, yes!”
“Ewww, groth,” Sammy pipes up. He’s standing behind Ana with a tower of cellophane bags full of fairy floss.
Ana spins around and baulks when she sees his cargo. “Geez, Sammy, why not buy the whole stand?”
“I tried. He thaid I didn’t have enough.”
“Come on, kids, I think the monster trucks are about
to start.” I take the bags from Sammy, tucking them under my arm before they end up all over the ground. I slip the other around Ana’s waist and slide it into her back pocket, where it belongs.
On the drive home, Sammy stretches out across the front seat of Bob’s Chevy, his head on Ana’s lap, legs tucked into a ball and feet dangling off the edge.
Ana is quiet; but I know she’s not still pissed at me. I made sure of that by kissing her stupid outside the giant jumping castle while Sammy bounced around, head-butting other kids. I glance over. It’s hard to see clearly because of the lack of street lights, but she looks like she’s waging some sort of internal battle.
“You okay, baby girl?” Her terrified eyes meet mine and I almost veer off the road. “Ana, what’s wrong?”
“I love you.”
Then I do veer off the road, just onto the gravel shoulder, but it’s enough to jolt Sammy awake, enough that Ana cries out and clutches him to her for dear life. I have a brief disagreement with the steering wheel and then guide the car back onto the road. Sammy’s back asleep before we even leave the bloody shoulder and I stare straight ahead at the road before me while my heart thrashes around in my chest.
I haven’t a clue how to deal with this situation. Seriously. I’m trembling, the blood is whooshing in my ears and I’ve got a white-knuckled grip on the wheel. The last person to say those words to me …
Lilly.
My chest cleaves open as the unwelcome memory rapes my mind. “Be good for mum, okay Lil?”
“I will.” she beams. Her dark curls brush against my face and her little arms squeeze like a vice around my neck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this bloody excited.
“I love you Lijhie.”
Those were the last words she ever said.
Fuck! I should have walked away from Ana before now. I should have told her the truth: that getting into bed with me means having more than just her heart compromised. It could mean her safety, too.
“Are you going to say something?” she whisper-yells, careful not to wake Sammy, and god help me she’s pissed again. Probably more so than I’ve ever seen her.
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