by K. B. Webb
“Alright Jasmine,” I know he’s pist off now because he rarely calls me by my name. “I don’t know what happened last night. I don’t know what you and Ryan did or didn’t do, and I don’t give a shit. What I do care about is how whatever happened with effect both of y’all. He just got this job Jasmine and you don’t know enough about Ryan yet to know this, but he’s been through a lot of shit. He needs this job and he needs you to not fuck it up for him.”
“I get it Lucas. I do. You don’t want me being a dumb ass to fuck up Ryan’s future. I know, alright?”
“Damn it Jasmine!” At the sound of Lucas raising his voice I jump. I have never really done anything to warrant Lucas being pist at me, and after today, I don’t plan on doing anything to make him this mad ever again. “Let me finish before you go all know it all on me. I’m worried about Ryan, yes. Like I said, he’s been through some fucked up shit, but I’m worried about you too. You and Jason have a complicated relationship already, add in fucking the new guy you work with and you got a fucked up three ring circus. And, well, I don’t want you to get hurt alright. I’m kind of fond of you or whatever and if Ryan hurt you I would have to kick his ass, and I really don’t want to do that.”
I smile at his last statement. “You know Ryan would totally beat the shit out of you if y’all got in a fight, right?”
Lucas laughs, “Yea yea, I know he would, but I would have to try anyway. It’s like a rule or something. I mean hell, Jason punched me in the nose when I fucked up with Dani.”
“Well you will be happy to know that I don’t plan on getting in any kind of situation where you would have to get your ass beat by anyone. Again.”
“Shut up, Abu. Seriously though, just be careful.”
“Lucas, I think you kind of like me, don’t you? Maybe I’m not as annoying as you act like I am.”
“Don’t push it. I just don’t want you to make bad decisions and end up drunk on my couch for a fucking week. I ain’t got time for that shit.”
“Whatever. Give the phone back to your girlfriend. It’s too early and you’re getting on my nerves.”
He gives the phone back to Dani. She doesn’t bring up Ryan or what Lucas and I talked about. I’m sure that sneaky bitch will wait till we get off the phone and then make Lucas tell her everything that was said. She tells me her mom is coming to visit next month. I tell her I am already planning day drinking dates with her. I love her mom. Linda Gail makes me feel like I am her daughter too. She accepts me just the way I am. Day drinking, shitty craft projects and all.
I get off the phone with Dani, and against my better judgment, decide to head to Ryan’s apartment. Lucas would kick my ass right now and Dani would get so pist off her face would turn ten different shades of red while she yelled at me. But, he owes me pancakes, and I plan on making sure he keeps his promise. I grab everything we will need to make pancakes and bacon since I’m pretty sure Ryan doesn’t keep breakfast supplies around his house. He seems like the protein smoothie kind of guy.
I check myself over in the mirror hanging by my door, then head out. I have a knot in the pit of my stomach as I walk the short distance to his door. This is bad, bad, bad. I try to convince myself to turn around, but I’m a gluten for punishment, so I keep walking.
I stand outside his door for a few minutes, trying to hear any sounds of movement inside. I am about to just give up and head home when I hear Ryan’s voice inside.
I knock twice and when Ryan answers I am met with a smile that makes my knees buckle. He’s on the phone but steps to the side to let me in the door. I hold up the plastic bag with everything we need for breakfast inside and he laughs and nods his head, then points towards the kitchen.
“Yes mom, I know. I will visit soon, I promise.”
He holds up his finger to signal he needs a minute and walks back to his room. I see his iPhone dock on the counter in his kitchen and plug my phone in turning on Pandora and shuffling the stations. One song I don’t really know plays while I dig out skillets and get everything ready to cook breakfast. Right before I start to mix the pancake batter “This Is How We Do It” comes on. Without even thinking, I start dancing around Ryan’s kitchen, singing as I cook and shaking my ass.
I’m caught off guard by Ryan walking into the kitchen singing the chorus and dancing around with me. It’s hilarious and sexy at the same time. He’s shirtless and barefoot, only wearing shorts with the top of his underwear peeking out.
We fall into a comfortable rhythm singing and dancing while cooking and flipping pancakes. I learn Ryan can do a pretty fabulous running man and has no shame in his dancing abilities. I also learn that my ass must look fabulous in these shorts because I catch him staring more than once.
After we finish our karaoke/breakfast making session we take plates out onto his balcony and eat overlooking the river that runs behind our building.
“Well since I don’t think I said it when you came in, good morning.”
I laugh at him and say good morning back around a big bite of pancakes.
“So thanks for bringing breakfast over. And for the early morning entertainment.”
“You are so welcome. I don’t know what’s better, your dancing skills or these pancakes.”
“My vote is for the pancakes, but if I’m comparing them to your ass in those shorts, they definitely lose.”
“I knew you were checking me out!” We both laugh and our conversation flows on easily.
We talk about how excited he is to start work tomorrow and how training is his dream. He says it’s an amazing feeling seeing the tools you give someone change not just their body, but their life. Hearing him speak so passionately about something reminds me that I am falling hard, and way too fast for him. Big red abort mission signs starts flashing in my head, but I don’t leave. Nope, I decide to just stay and let the Apocalypse happen around me. At least if the world as far as I know it is going to end I get to eat fantastic pancakes and stare at man candy while it happens.
After breakfast we make our way back inside and, after lots of arguing on Ryan’s part, he lets me clean up his kitchen.
“So, are we going to talk about last night?” I was hoping we could avoid this conversation. I’m not sure if he wants to talk about my admission about my parents or about our kiss, but I know I am not ready to have a heart to heart about either.
“Um, no. I had planned on acting like it never happened, so I hope that works for you!” I go on about my business, rinsing dishes then placing them in the dishwasher.
“Well, tough shit, because that doesn’t work for me.”
I load the last of the dishes, shutting the door to the dishwasher before turning around to face him. He’s leaned against the island in the middle of his kitchen, just inches away from me. I can smell the clean scent of his body wash and am very much aware of how being this close to him makes every inch of my body tingle.
“Jasmine, I really wish you would have told me about your parents before. I would have never taken you to the cemetery if I knew. It was actually really fucking stupid on my part and for that I am so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Please, please don’t be sorry. You’re really the first person I have talked to about my parent’s death in a very long time. It was actually a good thing for me.”
“Well OK, now I don’t feel so bad about that. So how old were you when they died?”
“13. Jason was 21, about to turn 22.”
“Damn. That’s young. It explains a lot though.”
My body instantly takes a defensive stance ready to chew his ass about what the meaning behind his last comment was. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
He must be able to tell that I am pist because he instantly throws his hands up and shakes his head. “Hey, calm down, I don’t know what you thought I meant, but I can tell you it’s not what you think.”
I relax a little at his words. I always immediately take the defensive to most situations. It’s a natural reaction that I o
bviously need to work on. After a moment, he continues. “What I meant was that explains Jason’s protective nature over you. I get it now.”
“Well sometimes Jason crosses the line between protective and jack ass.”
“He just can see what you don’t. He can see how amazing you are and he wants nothing less than the best for you. It makes total sense.”
There’s a moment of silence and I can tell he feels as uncomfortable as I do. I by no means am the kind of girl who can’t take a compliment, but hearing Ryan say those things puts a chip in my smart ass exterior. I want to come up with some kind of comeback or joke to break the tension, but I can’t. Damn him.
He shoves his hands in his pockets and glances around the room. “So, are we going to talk about the other thing that happened?”
I decide my best bet is to play dumb. Maybe he will believe I really did forget, or maybe I can convince him he just imagined the whole thing!
“Other thing? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I cross my arms over my chest and avoid his eyes and the smirk that is playing on his lips. Why does he have to be so damn good looking? It really isn’t fair!
He takes a step towards me, placing a hand on each side of my body and boxing me against the kitchen counter. “Jasmine, look at me.” I take my eyes off the floor and stare straight at him.
“I know you feel this too. I know you do.”
“I feel nothing.” Obviously denial is not just a river in Egypt.
He inches his face a little closer to mine, and moves his line of sight from my eyes to my lips. “Nothing? You feel nothing?”
I decide since lying and denial aren’t working for me, maybe the truth will make him realize how terrible of an idea this is. “We can’t do this Ryan. You’ll lose your job and it would cause so much shit between my brother and I.” I shake my head hard, “We just cant.”
“Are you willing to walk out of here and know that we didn’t even try? Because I have to tell you Jasmine, I’m not. Before last night, I was ready to let you walk out of my life and just live with the memory of the amazing night I spent with you, but after last night, memories aren’t good enough for me.”
“I’m so fucked up Ryan. So fucked up. I don’t know how this would end.”
“Jasmine there is so much you don’t know about me. I’ve got a lot of negative shit going on, all the time. But with you there is no negative. I don’t know why I feel like that, but I do. And I won’t just let you walk away from me because of what could happen or how shit could end.”
“Where do we even start? I don’t even know how this work.” I want to deny the feelings I have for him, and if I was a smart woman, I would, but, well right now I’m going to be stupid.
“I do.” Two words. He utters two words before he closes the space between us and brings his lips down to mine. One of his hands rests at the small of my back, pulling my body towards his while the other wraps around the back of my neck pulling our mouths together. My hands grip the kitchen counter as I use them to lift myself up. I spread my legs apart so Ryan can rest between them. We continue to kiss, becoming a mess of lips and tongues and hands. He grabs the bottom of my shirt and pulls it off quickly, our kisses only halting to work it over my head.
He kisses me again, this time with more passion and need. His hands finding the straps of my bra and sliding each down with slow, yet determined movements. Once the straps are down, he makes quick work of the clasp in the back before throwing my bra on the floor where my shirt is already resting.
“If I need to stop, tell me now Jasmine, because once I start this, really start this, I won’t be able to.”
We need to stop for so many reasons: his job, my brother, the fact that we both seem to be carrying around some major issues, but right now, all those reasons don’t seem to matter.
“Don’t stop.” Before I can even fully get the words out of my mouth, Ryan lifts me off the counter, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he walks towards his bedroom. He never stops kissing me and with each step he takes closer to the bedroom the deeper our kisses become.
Once he reaches his room, he lays me down on his bed and crawls over my body, using one hand to hold his body weight up and using the other to run his hand down my side.
“How did I miss this?” He runs a finger over the tattoo on my right rib cage. It’s small but has so much meaning.
“We love you most. What’s that mean?”
He places a small kiss on the words before bringing his mouth back to mine.
“It’s my mom’s handwriting on the last birthday card she and my dad gave me. It’s what was we always said to each other, love you most.”
“It’s beautiful. Just like the woman it’s inked on.”
“I like this one.” I run my hand over the tribal tattoo that runs from his should to his elbow.
“A buddy of mine drew it up for me while we were in Iraq. We had planned on getting it together when he came home.”
“You planned on it?” His choice of words throws me off. He obviously has the tattoo so I can’t understand what he means.
“Well, he didn’t come home so we didn’t get the chance to get it together.”
Silence hangs heavy in the air. I can relate to the kind of loss he feels when it comes to his brother, but this, this I don’t understand at all.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Maybe another day, but right now I want to take advantage of the fact that you are shirtless and in my bed.”
I smile up at him. I don’t know where this is going. Is this going to be just a onetime thing? Is it going to just be sex? I don’t know what the fuck we’re doing, but right now, I know I need more than a few kisses and caresses. I need Ryan.
He pulls my hand away from his shoulder and kisses my palm before quickly rolling us so that I am straddling him. The only thing separating us a few pieces of fabric.
I lean down and kiss him rubbing my hard nipples against his chest while his hands run down my body before landing on my ass.
I don’t know how long we stay like that, making out and dry humping like a couple of virgin teenagers before I pull away and decide to make the first move. I crawl over Ryan’s bed and place my feet on the floor, turning so that I am facing him as I remove my shorts. I stand before him completely naked, and even though he has seen my body before and been inside it, this time feel so different. There is a different kind of connection between us now that has changed things. This isn’t a drunken one night stand anymore, no I had to go and catch feelings and make shit complicated.
“Jesus Jasmine. You’re fucking perfection. I could kiss and fuck your body all day.”
“Well then, what’s stopping you?”
Ryan is out of his shorts and lifting me onto his bed before I can even process what’s going on.
He lies on top of me his hard dick resting against my soaking wet pussy.
“Now you have to choose Jasmine. Do you want me to kiss your whole body or fuck you senseless first?”
I don’t answer, just raise my hips in response. As much as I want Ryan’s hot mouth all over every inch of my body, right now I need him inside me. I need him to fuck me.
He reaches over me, opening the top drawer of the nightstand and grabbing a condom before sliding in over his glorious cock.
Without warning he drives into me hard, and fast. The power behind it knocks the breath out of me and causes me to moan simultaneously.
He slides one hand under my back, arching my body to get a better angle, his other hand under my head, using my own body as leverage to drive into me faster and harder. I dig my nails into his shoulders and am met with the sexiest growl from deep within Ryan’s chest.
Ryan fucks me senseless, giving me the best sex of my life… again. We don’t speak. There are just moans and the sound of skin to skin contact.
I feel my orgasm building and my inner muscles clenching around Ryan. I know he feels it too because he lets out
a string of curses with my name mixed in between words and moves the hand that is under my back so that is resting under my thigh.
I come hard screaming Ryan’s name and he follows shortly after, burying his face in my neck and biting my collarbone.
After we both catch our breath, he crawls over me, removing the condom and placing it in the trash can beside his bed. We lay side by side, shoulder to shoulder for a few moments.
At this point, I’m not sure what to say. Do I leave now or wait for him to ask me to leave? After what feels like hours, I decide to go ahead and leave, but I stop when Ryan speaks.
“I know your brother can’t know, but I’m not giving you up Jasmine. There is not a chance in fucking hell I am giving you up, job be damned.”
I breathe a sigh of relief and smile, turning at the same time he does so that we are now face to face.
“So what does this mean?” I know that’s such a loaded question but after everything that has happened in the last twenty four hours, I have no idea where we stand. I’m not the kind of girl who needs a label, but I do need to know what I am getting myself into.
He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my head and gives me one of those smiles that would make my knees buckle if I wasn’t already laying down.
“I really don’t know, but I think we’ll have a hell of a lot of fun finding out. Whatever is between us it’s at least worth taking a shot at. And if I get to watch the way your cheeks turn red and your eyes roll back when you come, then that’s just a very sexy added bonus.”
“Oh Ryan. You know just what to say to make a girl feel special!” He can tell I am being sarcastic and laughs at me before rolling our bodies so that I am lying on his chest.
“You know you’re special Jasmine. You’re more self-assured and confident than any woman I have ever known. That’s the sexiest thing about you, you know that right? I don’t have to tell you how gorgeous you are, or how funny you are, or how undeniably sexy it is when you stand up for yourself, because you already know. I’m still going to tell you all of those things because they’re all true, but knowing you aren’t a fish for compliments kind of girl is a fucking turn on.”