“Asher, that was rude.”
“Paris, I came over because you asked me to.”
“I understand that, but shit happens. We can rearrange our time. I’ll call you. My mom needs me right now.”
“I thought it was important. I rearranged my day.”
“I appreciate that, I really do, but at that time I had no clue my mom was going to get sick. We need to talk, and we will, I promise.”
I turned my focus to Cora, whose expression held just the barest hint of satisfaction.
Needless to say, I was stunned, in utter disbelief. How the hell was Paris buying this? I’d never thought she was naïve, but maybe I was the one who was being naïve and the only us she wanted to talk about was us going back to being friends.
Monday morning, I swung by and picked up Ellie, who started in almost immediately with the questions. “So, how did everything go yesterday?”
“Don’t ask.”
“Uh oh, what happened?”
“Her mom is what happened. Her mom did not want us alone, so she pretended to be sick.”
“Are you sure? That’s pretty juvenile.”
“I’m positive.”
“And Paris bought it?”
“Hook, line, and sinker. She brushed me off and told me we would talk another day. I think I made yesterday out to be more than it was going to be.”
Ellie looked thoughtful, but instead of saying anything else, she settled back against her seat and stayed silent for the rest of the drive. I put on my blinker and turned into the driveway of my next client.
“Oh, look.” Ellie pointed at the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel running toward the truck. “Shit, he’s going to run out of the gate.”
“No, he won’t. That’s Charlie. Watch.”
“Charlie? Not too original, huh?”
“Nope. And we’re here to see his sister, Sammy.” I pulled forward over the cattle guard and opened my truck door. Charlie jumped up and into my lap. He hopped onto my center console, ready to ride the rest of the way to his house with me.
“Hello, Charlie. You obviously aren’t one of those dogs that’s afraid of the vet, huh?” Ellie asked as she rubbed behind his ears.
We parked then made our way to the front door, Charlie circling around my feet to ensure that I went nowhere else and that he was the one to announce my presence to his mom.
Ellie let out a laugh. “Sammy. We’re here to see Sammy the Samoyed, sister of Charlie the King Charles. Got it.”
Sammy waddled over, excited to see me. I looked up and waved to the mom, standing in the open doorway. “Morning, Patty.”
“Hey, Asher, who do we have here?”
“This is Ellie, she’s a vet tech and is going to start helping me.”
“Okay, just come on in when you’re done.”
“Will do.” I waved again before heading to the bed of my truck to lower the tailgate. I pressed the side button, and a platform similar to a wheelchair lift lowered to the ground.
“So, what are we checking out today?”
“Sammy had knee surgery, and we are just making sure everything is healing properly so we can remove the stitches.”
“Did you do it?”
“No. It’s actually the only thing I don’t handle in the practice. I have two different veterinarians who I refer clients to and who refer clients to me when they need to.”
When we were done, I cleaned up in Patty’s washroom, then we were on our way.
“Asher, I love this setup. I’ve always thought about grooming and how much fun it would be to be a mobile groomer.”
“You should. I know a ton of clients who would love having a mobile groomer.”
“I’m going to do some research when I get home. But I would truly love it.”
“Then you should do it.”
“Don’t give up.” Ellie totally changed the subject.
“What?”
“Don’t give up on Paris. If you love her, then she’s worth fighting for. Give her some time.”
“I’ve given her time. Hell, we’ve been out of high school for ten years. I don’t know that she’s ever actually, seriously dated anyone. I always just assumed we were waiting for each other, you know? I always knew that I was going to veterinary school, and that would be eight years, add that to losing my dad, then her dad getting sick and then losing him, it seemed that it was never the right time.” I kept my eyes on the winding country road. “If we ever needed a date to something, we called each other. I always thought it was us and we were just waiting for the right time. I’m not sure there is such a thing as the right time, though, at least not for us.”
“Answer me this, then. If you knew she was going to wake up and realize you were the one, how long are you willing to wait?”
And just like that, I knew my answer . . . indefinitely. I’d wait forever for Paris.
Paris
I threw one arm over my face, exhausted. What a day. Between working myself up to talk to Asher, Mom’s dizzy spell, and then Asher leaving upset, god, it was crazy.
“What?” I answered the knock at my door without sitting up.
“How did yesterday go?” London asked.
“Don’t ask.”
“Why, what happened?” This time, it was Holland who spoke.
Sitting up, I saw the quizzical faces of both my sisters, who were standing at the foot of my bed. I loved that even in this chaos, where I felt as if my world was falling apart, two constants remained. My sisters truly were my best friends.
I grabbed one of my throw pillows and hugged it to my chest. “So . . . this is what happened . . .” I told them everything, beginning with Mom getting dizzy, Asher leaving pissed off before I had a chance to talk to him, me stressed out because I was still worried about her and worried that Asher would never give me a chance to explain, and freaking out about everything Mom had said. If they weren’t worn out when I was done, they had some serious problems.
“So, what are you going to do?” London asked as she cradled her baby close.
“I was going to talk with both of you about Mom.”
“Not about Cora. I don’t want to talk about her because, frankly, I don’t care. What are you going to do about Asher?”
“I’m going to try again even though Mom thinks it’s a bad idea. She thinks he’s too demanding and that there is something going on between him and Ellie.”
“Bullshit,” London spat out. “You heard that voicemail. We all did. There is nothing going on between them.”
“Yeah, I’m going to side with London on this one. When I found out that she was Dick Brooks’s sister, I about died, but it makes sense.”
“Was she also a dick?” I asked Holland, since I had no idea what she was insinuating.
“No, I meant about her helping him. As much as I hate to admit it and would never do it in front of the asshole, he knows a lot about horses and animals. If she’s anything like him, then she’s really only interested in helping Asher at work.”
“But what about their chemistry? Mom said there was a spark.”
London groaned, and I noted that her lips had turned white, as if she were pinching them together, fighting the urge to say something. Please not now, I didn’t have time to deal with London’s temper or Holland’s attitude.
“The only spark I saw was when I thought Asher was going to smack her. That was, of course, right after he smacked me. I’m telling you . . . he looked at her like a sister.” Holland was adamant.
“I’ve had it, Cora needs to keep her fucking mouth shut and her nose out of our business. She’s been gone all our lives, but the second she comes back, she’s what? The holy grail of motherly knowledge? No. She screwed up her life and her own relationship, and now she’s trying to screw up yours. I refuse to let her do that. If you mess this up, then it will be because you don’t want him, not because she’s talking shit. Paris, you know you love that man, and he’s crazy about you. I have no idea why you’re even listening to
Cora, but stop. Hell, stop letting her come over.”
“She is just trying to make up for lost time. I don’t think she means any harm, I truly think she is only trying to help.”
“And I think that you’re delusional. Regardless, call Asher.”
“Okay, I’ll call him in just a minute. But while I have you both here, I wanted to ask you about something.” I was biting my fingernails, which was a horrid habit but one I did when I was nervous. I clenched my hands into fists. “I’ve already thought this through, and maybe now isn’t the right time, but . . .”
“Why do I have a feeling I’m not going to like this?” London groaned.
“I want to talk with you about Mom moving in here. If she’s moving back, there’s no sense in her staying at a hotel.”
“No. Absolutely not.” London stood, already backing away from me and blocking out the conversation.
“London, I think something’s wrong with her. You didn’t see her yesterday. She could barely walk. She’s already missed out on so much, the least we can do is give her some time.”
“And why did she miss out? Because she left. She left. Not Dad. Her. It was her choice. If she wasn’t in love with Dad anymore, then why didn’t she just move out and get a house in Orlando or something? Not somewhere else, where we never saw her again. Millions of people get divorced, but they don’t divorce their children, it isn’t normal.”
“But what if she’s telling the truth and Dad didn’t want her to see us?” I searched for an ounce of compassion in London but found none. “How about you, Holland? What do you think?”
“I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t feel anything either way. You all forget, I was three when she left. She is nothing more than a person in stories and a face in photographs. She’s a stranger to me.”
“Then she needs to be here, so you can at least get to know her.”
“I know her, Dad made sure that we knew her. He kept her photos up and told me that I was like her.”
“Yeah, he told me that as well,” London cut in. “But he only said that to make us feel that she was always with us, he didn’t mean it. He was being a good father. Hell, none of us is anything like that woman. Thank god.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. How could my own sisters feel this way?
“Let me ask you this, Paris. If she wrote all the time like she says, where are the letters?”
“She said Dad returned them.”
“And does that sound like something Dad would do? He told us we were like her, and he kept her photos up. Our entire lives, he always . . . always did what was best for us, and it didn’t matter how hard it was for him. Dad never kept us away from checking the mail. In fact, I can’t remember him ever actually being the one to walk down to the mailbox. So you tell me how he hid all those letters she sent us.”
I didn’t have an answer, so I stayed silent.
“Let’s say by some act of magic, he did. What about after he died? She said that she tried to reach him. Have you seen any letters? Have you taken any phone calls? We kept his cell phone number for a year. There weren’t any calls. So, tell me, how did she try to reach him? Ouija board? If so, then she knew he was dead.”
I cringed. “I don’t know. But we have time to find out. She needs us, and that is all that matters to me. We don’t have much family left, and I’m not willing to take a chance on losing any more if I can help it.”
“We have all the family that matters, but fine, I’ll leave it to you two to decide, since you’ll have to live with her anyway. I’m against it, though.”
I watched London leave before turning my focus on Holland. “Be honest, what do you want?”
“I’m okay with whatever you decide. Trust your gut, it’ll never lie. This is your house.”
“It’s yours too.”
“I know that, but that isn’t what I meant. I’m always out in the stables, I come in to eat and sleep, that’s about it. You are here and will have to be with her, so I think this is up to you.” Holland headed toward my bedroom door. “I’m going to go jump in the shower. Night, Par.”
“Night, Holl.”
Once the door was closed behind her, I squeezed my pillow tighter and pondered what the hell I was going to do. First things first, I was going to call Asher.
“Hello?”
It was not Asher.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I think I dialed the wrong number.”
“Are you looking for Asher?”
“Yeah. But I can call back another time.” My heart was racing, and everything in me was screaming that the woman on the phone was Ellie, even though I’d only heard her speak once, for a few seconds.
“No, hold on. I think I just heard him come out of the shower.”
Is she trying to be helpful?
Mom had been right. Asher had come here yesterday, then went right back and crawled into bed with her. I clutched at my chest as I felt something inside it shatter into pieces. I could feel each individual shard slicing up my insides, digging deeper and deeper and making my soul bleed. Some were sharp, some were jagged, and some broke in such a way that they refracted light. A light that had been my hope for a future with Asher, but slowly . . . so slowly, those pieces were being swept up and away.
“Paris? Paris, are you there?”
I shook my head when Asher’s voice came on the line. “Yeah, I’m here. I’m sorry to disturb you. We can talk tomorrow.”
“Wait. Don’t hang up. What’d you need?”
“Oh, nothing. Just wanted to try to . . . I just . . . I miss—”
“Hold on, Paris.” I was shocked by Asher cutting me off. Then I realized he was cutting me off to talk to someone else. “I’ll be right there,” Asher said to the woman whose voice I’d never forget.
“Was that Ellie?”
“Yeah. I got a late call, so I called Ellie, and she wanted to come. When we got back, she offered to make dinner before she headed home.”
“I don’t want to keep you, it seems like you’re busy. I’m sorry to have interrupted.”
“Paris, what is up with the wounded-puppy act? You turned me down, remember? Then I came over, like a glutton for punishment, and you brushed me off.”
“I’m just confused.”
“Well, I wish you’d figure it out, because you’re dragging me along your emotional rollercoaster. I told you how I feel, and that hasn’t changed.”
“Really?” I wanted to shout bullshit, like London had done earlier.
“Yes, really. Why would you ask such a thing?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Call me crazy, but I have a hard time understanding how someone who claims to have been—”
“Not have been . . . am.” Asher’s voice was broken.
“Claims to have been in love with someone for most of their life can move on to the next woman so fast. I don’t know, seems sort of mind blowing to me.” I knew I was lashing out at him by putting emphasis on the words he’d just corrected, but damn it, I was hurting, so he should too.
“Move on? What? You mean because I accepted help? For your information—no, you know what, I’m not going to explain myself. I shouldn’t have to. Two weeks ago, I offered you my world in exchange for your heart, and you rejected me. That was the moment you lost all input in my life. You don’t have a right to question me about anything I’m doing. And if you don’t trust me, or if you think so little of me, then everything is just how it should be. I love you, but I’m not going to allow you to play games with me.”
“I’m not playing games.”
“Really? Because it sure seems like you are. What? You don’t want me, but no one else can have me either? Is that it, Paris? No one would have treated you better than I would have, no one would have loved you more.”
Silence filled the line, and I fought back the tears. God, was that what he thought? That I looked at him like a shiny toy I didn’t want anyone else to play with? “Asher, I’m sorry.”
Nothing.
Just dead silence. I pulled my phone from my ear and looked at the screen. It was black.
He’d hung up on me.
Asher James Kinkaide had hung up on me.
I dropped my phone onto my bed before kicking off my boots and walking over to my window. The hum from the overhead ceiling fan was soothing to my tired soul. I stared out and over toward Asher’s house. When we were kids, we used to use flashlights to signal each other, then we would sneak out and meet halfway. I thought we were so cool and secretive. I laughed at the memory, then felt a sense of comfort when I remembered my daddy finally confessing he used to watch me walk through the pasture, just to make sure I was okay. He never worried about me, though. He knew Asher would never allow anything bad to happen to me.
Leaning forward, I rested my forehead against the foggy pane, the only evidence of the temperature difference. It was still warm outside, but in my room, it was cool.
I’m not okay anymore, Daddy.
Asher won’t protect me this time. I wiped the tears from my face. How could he, when he was the one who was hurting me? I let out a deep breath, knowing that I deserved every bit of ire that Asher threw my way.
Before pulling my shades down for the evening, I wondered for the briefest moment if Asher was looking out his window, or if he was looking at Ellie.
I had just taken a pan of biscuits out of the oven when I heard a cough behind me. Twirling, I was shocked to see Wally standing there.
“Morning, Wally, want a biscuit?”
“Don’t mind if I do. Is London here?”
“Not yet, but she should be any moment. Is there something I can help you with?”
“No. I just wanted to say hey and let her know that I was back from vacation.”
“Oh, okay. Just have a seat. Want some coffee?”
Wally held up his thermos to show he’d come equipped, just like every day for as long as I could remember.
“So tell me, what did you and Anne do?” Wally and his wife Anne had been like a second set of parents to us growing up. I set the butter onto the table then snagged my phone to send London a text to let her know Wally was here, but she beat me to it by walking in at that moment with Holland on her heels. That wasn’t uncommon, since they both worked the pasture in the morning.
Slow Burn: Iron Horse Series Page 10