by Tracy Brown
Sunny turned around and smiled. “I don’t want to look fat,” she said, laughing. She rubbed her big round belly for emphasis.
Dorian walked over and kissed her bulging tummy. “You don’t look fat, princess. You look pregnant. And I’m so fuckin’ proud that you’re pregnant with my baby.” He kissed her on her soft lips, and slapped her playfully on the ass.
She smiled. “You say all the right things.”
Dorian pulled out a blue denim maternity dress, and held it up. “Why don’t you wear this? It’s sexy.” It was anything but. Sexy would never be a real term used to describe that dress. He grinned, playfully, and Sunny snatched the dress from him.
“You play too much.” She held it up, and looked at it. “You think I should wear it?” It was a knee-length denim dress that hugged her pregnant belly, and it fell just below her knees. She liked it.
He nodded. “Yup. Put that on, baby. That’s what Daddy wants to see you in today.”
Dorian walked downstairs, leaving Sunny to get dressed. Sunny’s mother, Marisol, along with Jada, Sunny’s friend Olivia, and about four other women from the crew were all downstairs, decorating the house with pastel-colored streamers, balloons, and signs. Olivia laid out favors shaped like baby rattles with soft green ribbons attached. Jada hung a sign over Sunny’s shower chair that said CONGRATULATIONS in big lettering. Marisol was in the kitchen with the other women making all sorts of food for the occasion—Spanish and soul food dishes. Dorian felt like an outcast in a house full of women. He went back upstairs and found Sunny preparing to get into the shower. He snuck up from behind and put his hands on her breasts, startling her.
She spun around, and slapped him, jokingly. “What are you trying to do, scare me to death?”
Dorian silenced her with a kiss, and then scooped her up in his arms and laid her on the bed. She giggled, as he ran to lock their bedroom door, and then began to take his clothes off. “We can’t have sex with my mother right downstairs, Dorian!” Sunny protested weakly, as he undressed her.
He smiled a naughty smile. “Why not? It ain’t like she don’t know that we be doin’ it.”
Sunny giggled. “But she’s here!”
“So?” He kissed her to silence any further protests. Coming up for air at last, he said, “She won’t hear you. I promise.”
Dorian smothered her in kisses, and made love to Sunny slowly. He kissed her from head to toe, and he handled her body so delicately. Never in her life had Sunny felt love like this. She forgot about all the guests arriving downstairs, and which outfit she would wear. She was in harmony with the man she loved, and it was heaven.
When they both lay breathless, staring into each other’s eyes, Dorian shook his head. “I’m a lucky man,” he said. “You know, the first time I saw you I didn’t think you’d even talk to me. You’re so beautiful, and I figured niggas tried to holla at you all the time. So when I stepped to you I was half expecting you to shut me down. But you didn’t. I remember being so happy when I walked away with your phone number. I felt like God was smiling on me. And even with all the problems we’ve had, I still feel like he smiled on me the day that I met you. That day in the mall, I think I was meant to meet you. I was waiting for you, Sunny. This relationship, this baby… it’s all that I need. I’m completely happy now. I really love you.”
Sunny smiled, her cheeks pudgy and cute in her pregnant state. She whispered, “I really love you, too, Dorian.”
He lightly pinched her nose, and grinned. “You better get downstairs and explain all this to your mother. I’m gonna tell her how you seduced me.”
Sunny swatted at Dorian, and he ducked playfully. He sat up and helped her roll up out of bed. Then she got dressed, while he went downstairs to see who had arrived. The first face he saw was Born’s, and he smiled. He was happy to see him, and greeted him as he came down the stairs.
Born was already chewing. “Yo, they got the fuckin’ arroz con polio up in there, D. That authentic Puerto Rican shit, too. Not that other bullshit Jada be—”
“Keep talking, and you won’t eat at home for months,” Jada remarked snidely, as she walked up on him. She batted her eyelashes. “Wassup, Dorian?”
Dorian laughed at the two of them, and said, “Jada, girl, I know you can burn. I don’t know what your boy over here is talking about.”
Jada chuckled and walked away, scowling at Born. He looked at Dorian and said, with his mouth full of food, “How you gonna sell me out like that?”
Dorian laughed at him, and they followed Jada into the spacious kitchen. Sunny’s mother was still cooking. She cut her eyes at Dorian, and set her lips tightly. Dorian didn’t have to ask what was wrong with her, because it wasn’t long before she spoke her mind. “While you two are up there getting it on, and shit, Dorian”—her Nuyorican accent was priceless—“you got people out there waiting to eat. Wash your hands, and bring some of this food out there for everybody.” She rolled her eyes, and grabbed a dish towel. She wound it up, and playfully swatted him on his back.
Dorian tried to mask the grin on his face, until Born said, “Nasty ass!”
Jada, Marisol, and all the other family members moving about the kitchen laughed at Dorian’s expense. Dorian shook his head, and grabbed a platter of fried chicken and brought it out to the living room. He looked around and saw that his two brothers had arrived with their wives. He walked over and greeted them with hugs and smiles. Sunny’s two brothers had also come, along with her father, Dale, and several of Sunny’s friends. The doorbell was ringing steadily. One of Sunny’s friends greeted guests at the door, and hung up their coats. It was January 1998, and the temperature had plummeted to twenty-eight degrees. The door-check girl hung up one fur, leather, or shearling after another. Dorian knew that this was only the beginning of the onslaught of guests he was expecting. They were going to pour out the world to Dorian, Sunny, and their baby. His happiness was beyond measure. Born followed him, and pulled him to the side.
“Yo, I’m not staying for long, D. I ain’t sitting up in here with all these women with all them presents to open.” Born pointed to the dining room table already loaded with boxes large and small.
Dorian frowned. “You think I’m sitting in here for all that gift opening and shit? Hell no! I’m gonna open up the crew’s gifts with her. Now, the rest of that shit? Hell, no. I got the men set up in the basement with the game on. The bar is downstairs, so you know that’s where I’ll be.”
Born thought about the big pool table in Dorian’s basement, and immediately nodded. “Oh, aiight. That’s more like it.”
Sunny came into the living room amid gasps and smiles. Everyone complimented her on how stunning she was. Knowing how vain Sunny was, no one mentioned her spreading nose and her pudgy face. She still looked radiant. Those who were close to her knew that she had struggled to have a child, and they were thrilled for her and Dorian. She had a glow that was unmistakable, and Dorian was all over her. He came up behind Sunny, his hands encircling her wide waistline. He rubbed her stomach, and Sunny smiled happily. Cameras flashed across the room. Everyone began snapping pictures. It was a Kodak moment, for sure.
“When are you two getting married?” somebody called out.
Dorian smiled at the idea, and looked at Sunny. “As soon as she has this baby, and the diva can fit into some tight-ass dress, we’re gonna do it,” Dorian announced. Everyone reacted with shouts and applause at this announcement. Sunny proudly flashed the huge ring on her left hand for emphasis.
Born stood beside Jada, and nudged her when he heard this. “Make sure you catch the bouquet at their wedding,” he said. “‘Cuz we’re next.”
Jada smiled, and her eyes twinkled at the thought of being Born’s wife. He kissed her, and for a moment she forgot all about her addiction and her secrets. Everything was going to be alright, she told herself. Everybody was used to hearing the doorbell by then, with guests arriving every few minutes like clockwork. But when the doorbell rang at that moment, it was
like a bell tolling for things to come.
Dorian and Sunny continued to take pictures, until he saw Olivia standing near the door with the girl who had been checking coats. It looked to Dorian like Olivia was upset, and was trying to avert a commotion by not allowing someone to enter the house. Olivia was in somebody’s face, denying them access to the party. He saw who it was, and walked toward the door.
“Raquel, what’s your problem? You know better than to come to my house. What do you want? D.J.’s with my mother,” Dorian hissed at her, careful not to speak too loudly and alert Sunny.
Raquel looked at him like he had lost his entire mind. “What the fuck you mean, I know better than to come to your house, Dorian? I’m your son’s muthafuckin’ mother! I can come over here anytime I want, and—”
“Yo, what do you want, Raquel?” Dorian wanted her gone! He didn’t want anything to upset Sunny in any way. Not when she’d come so far along in her pregnancy without complications.
“I came to drop off a gift, damn!” She chewed her gum, angrily.
“Where’s it at?” Dorian looked around. He saw a box in Raquel’s hand, but she had it behind her back.
“Let me in like everybody else.” She looked him dead in his eyes. Her eyes looked different to Dorian, though. He remembered times when he’d looked into them and saw a woman who loved him. He had once seen someone who would do anything in the world to please him. Now he saw Raquel as someone who was tinkering on the thin line between love and obsession. She looked as though the love she was feeling for him had become dangerous. Like she thought nothing had changed between them when everything had changed. He dismissed the thought of Raquel being obsessed with him, for the first time in his life ignoring his gut instinct.
He laughed at her, and turned his back. Born was walking his way, coming to tell him that Sunny wanted to take more pictures. Dorian looked at him and nodded toward Raquel. “Get the gift she brought, and get her outta here, please.”
Born headed toward Raquel as Dorian headed back toward Sunny.
“D, come and take a picture with Sunny!” somebody yelled from the living room.
Raquel craned her neck to see inside the house. She caught a glimpse of Sunny, with her long brown hair flowing down her back. Born saw the expression on Raquel’s face change from a frown to pure pain. She began to cry, and Born felt bad.
He said, “Don’t cry, ma.” Born looked in the air, as if to say, “Why me?” as Raquel became absolutely hysterical, crying. He saw her reach into her bag, and he thought she was probably fumbling around for a tissue. Her makeup ran all over her face, and she was still crying steadily. Born turned for a split second to look over his shoulder, and that second cost all of them dearly.
Raquel pulled out a black .32-caliber gun. She charged past Born unexpectedly, and he grabbed for her. But it was too late. In his momentary loss of focus, he had underestimated Raquel and the determination of a woman fed up.
Raquel ran into the house, with Sunny in her sights. She aimed at the pregnant beauty as she stood posing for a picture with Dorian kneeling before her, holding her belly. His head was resting against Sunny’s womb, as he knelt on one knee. Cameras flashed as Raquel came charging in. Everyone’s attention was captured then, and they all began to run for cover. By then Born had drawn his own gun, and not wanting to kill Dorian’s son’s mother, he shot Raquel in the leg. Raquel fell to the floor and raised her arm, still crying.
She aimed at Sunny’s belly, and Dorian rushed toward Raquel to stop her. He stood to his feet, and as he rose, Raquel fired. The bullet hit Dorian directly in his Adam’s apple, barely missing Sunny and her unborn child. Sunny’s father grabbed her quickly out of the line of fire as Dorian fell to the floor, gurgling on his own blood.
Horrified, Raquel and Sunny both screamed from the bottom of their souls. Sunny tried desperately to get to Dorian, who lay on the floor in a bloody pool, but her father held her tightly and wouldn’t let her move from where he had her shielded, between the wall and the china closet. If Raquel came for Sunny, she was going to have to shoot him first.
Raquel stood up uneasily, with the gun still pointed at any and everyone. She was clearly in pain from the shot to the leg she’d sustained. She let out a scream that sent chills up all their spines, and she cried. Raquel had never meant to hurt Dorian. She just wanted Sunny dead. Sunny and her baby. That was all she had wanted, to see them dead—not Dorian. She looked at Dorian, put the gun in her mouth, and then closed her eyes as she pulled the trigger.
The shot went off just as Sunny broke free and ran to Dorian’s side. He lay on the floor, his eyes open, looking like he had so much to say. But no words were possible as the blood poured from his throat. Marisol came and held a towel up to the wound to try and stop the bleeding as Jada frantically dialed an ambulance. Born sat on the stairs with his gun in his hand. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. He felt responsible. He had turned away from Raquel for the briefest moment, and this was all his fault.
“Get her outta here, please.” That’s all that Dorian had asked him to do, and now he lay dying on the floor. Born felt like shit. Sunny was hysterical.
Anarchy erupted in the house that had once been filled with so much joy. The setting that was supposed to be one of love, happiness, and the celebration of a new life had turned into a bloody den of death, as Raquel lay sprawled across the floor. Cradling the love of her life in her arms, Sunny cried harder and harder. “I love you, Dorian,” she told him. “I love you, baby. Please don’t die. Please, Dorian. Don’t leave me, baby.”
He wanted to tell her that he loved her, too. That she was his everything, and that he was sorry. But the bullet wound in his throat continued to gush. He stared into Sunny’s eyes, and tried to convey his love for her that way. She looked so beautiful, even as she cried, he thought. Dorian breathed his last breath in Sunny’s arms, looking into her eyes, and a part of her died, too. She wouldn’t let go of him—not even when the paramedics and police finally arrived. She stayed there on the floor, cradling Dorian’s lifeless body in her arms until her family pried her away. Dorian was dead, and she may as well have been dead, too.
27
TANGLED WEBS
Sunny was a wreck. She stood hollering at the casket, where Dorian lay stretched in an Armani suit and silk tie. It was a hustler’s reunion, as every bailer in Brooklyn, and several from the surrounding boroughs as well came to pay their respects to Dorian Douglas. The November wind whistled outside the church, as mourners poured in by the dozens. Diamonds sparkled, platinum gleamed, furs and leathers mingled as everyone put on their very finest to commemorate their friend. Whispers about his baby’s crazy mother and the murder/suicide that had taken place at Sunny’s baby shower filled the room, as Sunny all but fell out at the altar.
Sunny’s mother and father stood on either side of her, as she broke down in gut-wrenching sobs at her beloved’s side. Her belly swollen with their unborn child, she was on the verge of a complete breakdown. They led her reluctantly back to her seat, and the church nurses came over, fanning her and offering water. They wiped her forehead with damp cloths, and tried to calm her down. Her grief was shared by every woman in the room who had ever been in love, by every woman who had ever had a broken heart and a child to provide for all alone. Sunny was distraught.
Born sat with Jada by his side, and he wept. He felt so responsible, so guilty for taking his eyes off of Raquel. He hadn’t known how crazy she was, how insanely in love with Dorian she had been. No one had expected her to try to kill Sunny and wind up killing Dorian instead. But Born still felt responsible. He felt that he had let his friend down. He remembered the times that Dorian had had his back. The situation with Celly, when Dorian had warned Born that he was about to be ambushed. The countless other times over the years when Dorian had watched out for him. And the one time Dorian had needed Born, he was unable to protect him. It was all too much for him to digest. Jada sat, gently rubbing Born’s back and telling him t
hat it was alright. He knew it wasn’t, though. His best friend was gone, and he felt responsible. He felt terrible for Sunny and her baby, who would grow up without a father.
Born looked over at D.J., who sat crying in silence beside Dorian’s mother, Gladys. D.J. looked completely lost and alone, with no mother or father to care for him. Born vowed to himself that he would always look after the boy. He felt that that was what Dorian would want him to do.
Born was so overcome with guilt and grief that he took off his medallion, and placed it in the casket with Dorian. Fuck it. It might as well be buried with him. Born was finished with the crew as far as he was concerned. He was unworthy of the honor Dorian had bestowed upon him when he’d given him that ring.
After the service and Dorian’s burial at the cemetery, everyone gathered at Gladys’s house for the funeral repast. Sunny sat in a corner with Jada all night, crying softly on her shoulder. Born couldn’t face her, couldn’t help breaking down whenever he talked to Sunny, who had lost the love of her life all because Born had slipped. He sat with his friend Zion and Dorian’s brothers. He talked to D.J., and reassured the young boy that anything in the world he ever needed or wanted would be his if he called his uncle Born.
Sunny found Born sitting alone, gazing silently out of the window in a corner by himself. She walked up to him, with her eyes red and puffy from crying. “Born,” she said. “I need to give this back to you.” She held her hand open, and in it was Born’s medallion. The ring was supposed to have been buried with Dorian, so Born was surprised to see it in Sunny’s palm. He frowned and looked at her questioningly. Sunny answered what he hadn’t even asked.
“I saw this laying beside him today, and I couldn’t let you do that. Dorian would want you to keep this, and to rep for him, since he can’t be here. The night he gave you this, he was so happy to have you on board. Don’t play yourself and start feeling guilty or responsible in any way. The only one to blame for this is Raquel. And by now I hope she’s burning in hell.” Sunny’s eyes filled with tears. It killed Born to see this woman, who was usually so tough and strong, now broken and destroyed by grief. She tried to compose herself, and said, “Take the ring, and don’t ever let go of it. Consider it a little part of D for you to keep with you always.”