Guy held her while she cried her heart out. He waited until she quieted before he spoke. “My turn. The morning I came to the library to beg you to start over, Diana stopped me as I was leaving. She warned me that you would do your best to chase me away and I promised I wouldn’t let you. When Barry and I were sitting in the car waiting for it to be late enough for me to drag you out of the library, he took a break from busting my balls to make sure I understood how hard you’d fight against letting me get close to you. Again I was positive nothing you threw at me would make any difference because I’m never giving up. I really thought I could handle whatever you came up with and I caved in after five minutes. I like to think I would have figured it out eventually and found a way to get you to talk to me again but I honestly didn’t have a clue. Some Alpha male I turned out to be.”
“Why would Diana say that to you?”
“Because she could see how fascinated I was by you. Your family is the biggest bunch of misguided fools. They obviously never bothered to look beyond what they tried to mold you into because if they had they would have seen that you are the best there is. They were idiots to bury your face under makeup. And why would anyone with even a minimal understanding of hair ever mess with yours? It’s soft and fluffy and it’s all I can do to keep from toying with it all the time.”
“You don’t have to do this. I never let myself believe you were staying so I’m okay now that you know what’s going on. I won’t lie and say I would have turned you down if you wanted a repeat of last night but I know it wouldn’t have been the same. I’d rather skip it so I get to keep the memory.”
“For Christ’s sake, would you stop before you royally piss me off!” Guy’s arms became steel bands so she couldn’t escape. “Honestly listen for a change because this is extremely important. Diana is right. I have been wasting time with the wrong sort of women. When you stepped into that bar I felt like I’d been sucker punched in the gut. Part of me wanted to drag you right out of there and lock us up together forever. The other part of me was scared to death. Most of the reason I was an ass was because of that. The other night when I was telling you about finding the right one, I had to force myself not to say you were it for me.”
“Don’t—”
“No! It’s my turn now so just listen. I know you’re scared and I understand why. I get that this isn’t going to be easy for you and you’re going to struggle every step of the way. I’m sure you’ll manage to zing me like you did tonight but I’m not giving up. We have a deal and you promised me a chance and I refuse to let you off the hook. I know it’s too soon to tell you that I love you like I did after you went to sleep last night so I’ll wait.” He didn’t give her a chance to interrupt. “I swear I will prove that we belong together even if it takes the rest of my life to hear you say it too. Now about the sex, last night was just as overwhelming for me as it was for you. Yes, I’m experienced but it has never even come close to what we shared. As for getting bored and not being as good if we tried again, you are wrong. I’ll prove that to you too. Hell, Tori, I never did what we did before.”
“Yeah, right. Like I’m really going to believe that one. You knew exactly what to do the whole time.”
“Yes, I did but I was going on instinct. Your body showed me what it needed and all I did was follow your lead. Deny it all you want but that is one hundred percent true. I’ve gotten a little crude at times but I never spoke to anyone the way I did to you. I never lasted as long as I did with you. I never had anyone respond like you did. I never had any interest in spanking anyone, not even when I was invited to but with you I felt like I had to. I never suggested anal sex or stuck my fingers in anyone’s ass unless the woman I was with brought it up first but last night I couldn’t have resisted yours if my life had depended on it. The thought of some other man even looking at your naked body is enough to make me lose control. If someone else actually touched you I’d probably end up in jail. Face it, tiger. I’m hooked and you’re going to have to learn to deal with it because you’re stuck with me.”
“Stop it. Just stop it. Don’t say anything else because I can’t handle it right now. I keep thinking you’re only saying this stuff to get back at me for hurting you and I don’t really believe you would but I’m about to freak out on you and I don’t want to do that, so please stop talking like that.”
“All right. You win. Calm down and breathe. I’ll drop it for now but we’re nowhere near done with this. We’ll never be done with this because I’ll keep telling you even after you accept it.”
“Guy.” She struggled again.
“Hold still. I won’t say any more tonight although I sure wouldn’t mind talking dirty with you. Hey, maybe you could talk and I’ll just lay here and listen.”
“God, you’re impossible.”
“Probably, but I made you smile and you’re not as tense as you were ten minutes ago so I can’t be all bad.”
“You’re insane. Yeah, that’s it. You are completely insane and for some reason you can’t hide it around me like you do with everyone else.”
Guy laughed. “Tori tiger, there is no way in hell I’ll ever get bored with you. Promise the only thing you’ll ever change is your belief in my wanting to be with you. The rest of you is just perfect.”
“That’s it. Let go so I can go to bed.”
“I guess I have to.” He turned serious. “I don’t want to but I also don’t want to interfere with your dreams. Soon as this is all over I’m keeping you in bed for at least a week.”
“Doubtful but I don’t want to argue any more tonight. I don’t agree with most of what you said but I like that we’re not still at odds so let’s try to keep it that way.”
“You have so much to learn and I am going to love watching it happen. I don’t want to argue either, especially since make-up sex is out of the question at the moment. Let me kiss you goodnight and I’ll come tuck you in.”
“You don’t have to get up.”
“I know but if I do I’ll get to kiss you goodnight in your bed too so it’ll be worth it.” Guy arranged their heads so he could reach her mouth. He teased her with a few soft kisses before giving her a sensual smile. “Goodnight, Tori tiger,” he whispered against her mouth before claiming it for the most drawn-out, incredible kiss she’d ever had.
Guy released Tori only to sweep her into his arms. He carried her to her room and put her in her bed. After he repeated the kiss, he tucked the covers around her and said goodnight again before leaving her to her dreams.
Chapter Twelve
Within hours, Tori’s screams filled the silence of the cottage. As soon as her eyes began to focus, the first thing she saw was the now-familiar concern lining Guy’s face. Instead of falling out of bed in her usual haste to flee, Tori extended her hand toward him even before she untangled the covers.
“I can’t stand this,” Tori cried as Guy held her to him with one arm while he tucked them in with the other. “Since they can hear me, why won’t they say where they are?”
“Back up, tiger. What makes think they can hear you?”
“They can. I know they did because they’re going to kill the mom now too. God, it’s all my fault!”
“Sh,” Guy soothed. “It’s not, Tori. Nothing they do or have done is or ever will be your fault.”
“But they weren’t going to before. I must have been thinking about it because they just said they’re going to.”
“That doesn’t mean you have anything to do with it. Listen for a sec. If anyone’s to blame it would be Todd. He’s the one who brought it up this morning, not you. He’s the one who pointed out how odd it was that they were ignoring her, not you. He’s the one who suggested what a mistake that could be, not you. He’s the one who put the thought in your mind, not you. But it doesn’t make one bit of difference. If they were truly able to read your thoughts they never would have killed anyone. Even if you were angry enough to wish someone dead, I know you would never do it. You don’t have it in you. Thin
k about what Todd said. They came up with this on their own. They have a set pattern. They are merely following it as they have from the beginning. Tori?”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“Not maybe. I am right. It’s their choice, not yours. Or Todd’s. They are responsible for every bit of what they’ve done. You are only the unfortunate soul who’s somehow been forced to observe. I don’t have the slightest idea how or why that happened but I believe that you have no involvement whatsoever. You’re as much of a victim as the people they’ve killed.”
“Thank you.”
“You don’t have to say that. Everything I said it true. I just reminded you of what you already know.”
“Do you think it’ll ever stop? I mean after they get caught. Will they be in my head forever?”
“I’d give anything to answer that with what you want to hear but I can’t. I simply don’t know. If they don’t go away, I’ll ask Todd to find someone to teach you how to block them out. I’ll go with you so I can learn how to help. No matter what you won’t be alone with them again.”
“Guy.”
“Please don’t say it. After you went to bed I realized how sidetracked I got earlier. Will you let me tell you how I should have responded to what you said?”
“I guess,” Tori squeaked out in a tiny voice.
“First, I’m afraid I agree with Diana and I understand why you don’t have much self-confidence. It sounds like you spent the first eighteen years of your life with the people you should have been able to depend on undermining every aspect of your self-image. They were so wrong.
“Instead of selling out though, you were strong enough to start over. You walked away from absolutely everything you knew and made a life for yourself. You had the guts to get on a bus without any real plan. You got off on what sounds like an impulse and convinced a complete stranger to give you a chance. You worked damn hard to prove yourself. You juggled three jobs and college without asking anyone for anything. You managed to save for a car at the same time as you had living expenses and tuition. You must have been exhausted more days than not but you didn’t quit. You graduated and now you have a very nice home that you are solely responsible for making possible. I admire you so much.”
“Wow, I don’t sound half bad when you describe me.”
Guy hugged her. “Christ, I wish to hell we’d met at a picnic at Barry’s. This would be so much easier if we had. Easier, Tori, but not easy. I’d still have to prove myself to you so you could learn to trust me but there wouldn’t anywhere near as many obstacles as we have now.” He chuckled. “I probably would have rushed things as badly as I am and pushed you for a commitment long before I had any right to suggest it but you might have had less trouble accepting my sincerity. I’d like to tell you that I would have had more control around you but I doubt it. I would have realized you were amazing then too so I suspect that my Alpha reaction would have been just as strong.
“I’m sorry I let my thoughts get lost in a sexual haze earlier. I’m the one who got distracted by the need to claim you with a declaration. I meant it when I said I love you but I shouldn’t have blurted it all out like that but it’s out there now and I’m afraid I overwhelmed you to the point you’re afraid of me and will reject me out of fear before you let yourself get to know me. I don’t want an answer tonight but I’d appreciate it if you would consider giving us the chance we talked about. I’ll do my best to take it slowly and give you all the time you need but I need you to point out when I get overbearing.”
Tori shifted uncomfortably. “I know I should say something now but I don’t know what. I don’t think I really understand why you would want me. That’s wrong and I know it but I can’t help it.”
Guy cuddled her closer. “You don’t have to say anything. I do want you and I will find a way to convince you eventually. All I’ll ask until then is that you keep an open mind to the possibility of what I’m suggesting. Well, that and the fact that I’m not going to be able to completely stop myself from touching you.”
Tori tilted her head in time to catch his grin. “Now I’m really confused.”
“Why? Tell me what part you’re having trouble with and I’ll find a different way to explain.”
She pushed his arms away and sat so she was next to his stomach but facing him. “I get why you think it would be better if we hadn’t met like we did and I agree with you. I appreciate the way you described me and I’ll work on seeing me like that just like I have been with Diana. I’m having a really hard time with how you think I’m worth the trouble but you already said you’d convince me.”
“That’s all of it, Tori. What’s left not to understand?” Guy rolled so he was on his side with his knees bent against her back.
“The part about how you’re going to try not to touch me. Why would you do that?”
“It’s like I just said. I need to back off. I’ve been rushing you and if I keep it up you might too be preoccupied with avoiding my hands to notice how well we’ll be interacting at the moment.”
Tori laughed so hard she had to hold her sides. “Damn, Guy, that’s a good one. You’re not going to touch me.” Her giggles continued until she saw he was watching her and frowning. “What? You’re not serious. It’s a joke, right? You’re just teasing me again.”
“Honestly, no. You need to get to know me without me crowding you.”
“Holy shit, you really did mean it! What about last night? What about those things you said about how it was for you? You sounded like you agreed we were hot together.”
“I meant every bit of it and we are hot together. You blew my mind last night, tiger. I won’t ever forget a single second of it or the way you said you thought it was magical. But you also said it was about you. Not us. More than once you insisted that nothing was happening between us. You needed a good fuck and my cock was handy.”
“And you believe I still think that after what all the things we did? After I told you how you made me feel? You thought I was lying when I said I wouldn’t really have picked up a stranger. You think I act like that all the time and that I let any guy who’s interested do that stuff to me.” Tori was almost hysterical. “Oh my God! I’m too stupid to live. I actually believed you and you were just being nice. Or distracting me.” She would have fled but Guy’s large hand clamped around her ankles so she settled for hiding her beet-red face behind her hands.
“Tori. Tori. Tori,” Guy raised his voice each time he repeated her name. When she refused to look at him, he released her and rolled to his back with his forearm over his eyes. “Holy Christ, I couldn’t have fucked up worse if I’d tried. My gun’s on the dresser, tiger. Pop the safety and just shoot me now.”
Tori gasped. “What did you say?”
“I said you should shoot me. Have mercy and put me out of my misery before I turn into an even bigger asshole and come up with something even more idiotic that comes out completely wrong and you take exactly opposite of how I mean it.”
“Wait.” Tori broke out in a new wave of giggles. “Guy.” She tugged his arm from his face and propped herself on his chest.
“Yeah. This is better. I deserve it. Torture me before you shoot me.”
“Would you just shut up! And open your eyes too,” she demanded. “I shouldn’t laugh. I’m sorry.” She had to stop for another burst of mirth. After a deep breath, she said, “Okay. I’m done. I’m not laughing at you. Really. It’s just… I mean… God, we’re both pathetic! You don’t think there’s a chance that Todd had them bug the house when they put in the alarm, do you? It’s bad enough, us listening to this but I’d die if anyone else heard it.”
“Huh?”
“Think about it. We should be writing this down so they can make a movie about us. I’m sure we’d be funnier than that comedy we were going to go see after dinner. We misread each other the second we met. Everything we do or say turns into a total mess and neither one of us seems to be able to stop it but what I don’t get is why you’re as bad a
s I am. I know I suck at people stuff but I really thought you’d be good at this.”
Guy’s body relaxed as he returned her grin. “I am good at this. Very good except when I’m with you. Around you I turn into a lunatic and forget everything I ever knew. Christ, if I didn’t already believe we belonged together this would prove it.”
“Why?”
“Simple. You’re the only one who does this to me. Correct me if I’m wrong but I suspect you’re reacting to me differently from how you have with anyone else as well.” She nodded. “See? We bring a side out of each other that neither of us knew we had before.”
“But we’re a disaster.”
“Only until we get to know each other better. Then we’ll understand what we’re saying and won’t screw up like we have been.” His thumb traced her bottom lip. “I’m sorry I made you think last night didn’t mean anything to me. I know it was between us even when you were telling me it wasn’t. It was between us as soon as you got out of bed and came to me.”
“And I’m sorry I’m too insecure to remember you did all that with me last night because you wanted me for me and not because I threw myself at you and demanded that you fuck me. I heard every word you said about how you see me and why you’re willing to slow down and somehow I translated that into you didn’t want me at all, not even for sex.”
“I wonder how long it’ll take us to get the hang of this?” Guy asked, lightly rubbing her back. “Now just so you don’t have any more doubts, I do want you. For all of it. And yes, in case you’re still uncertain, that includes sex.” His thumb grazed the side of her breast and he felt her nipples harden in response. “Oh yeah, that definitely includes wanting you for sex.”
Tori slid one leg between Guy’s to get closer. “That mean you’ll take back the bit about not touching me?”
“If you want me to.” His hands brushed her tank top out of the way so he could get to her bare skin.
“I definitely want you to.” She pushed herself up far enough to tug at her shirt, struggling to remove it until Guy pulled it off her. Tori ran her hands over his chest to his shoulders and pressed her flesh to his. “But only if you tell me that you want me to touch you too.”
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