Tori stood outside the gate and stared at the house. “It’s the same,” she stated.
“Amazing, isn’t it?” Ned asked with equal awe. “You didn’t miss a thing.”
“No, they didn’t miss a thing,” Tori corrected him. “Russ sees all the details.” She shivered and turned away. “The kitten should be around there.” She indicated the left side of the fence.
“Go find him, Tori.” Todd obviously wanted to get her away from there. “We’ll be right beside you. Don’t let go of Guy’s hand.”
Within minutes she had located the poor creature. He was alive but just barely. Todd stopped her before she could pick him up. He made her wait until he called the veterinarian who had already been there to pick up the mother cat and three other kittens. When he explained his purpose he repeated the man’s instructions and had Tori touch the kitten. He responded immediately. He was very weak but still struggled to move closer to Tori’s comforting touch.
“From how he’s moving he doesn’t think there’s any spinal injury. Tori, pick him up very carefully and try to hold him steady because he may have other internal injuries. It sounds like the first thing we have to do is raise his body temperature and get him rehydrated. The vet gave me the name of a colleague to take him to who’s closer to you, Tori, and is calling him before you get there.” He gave Lita the address. “Have you seen enough?”
Tori nodded, cradling the tiny creature gently. Once they were in Lita’s car, she asked Guy to help open her jacket and raise her shirt so she could put the kitten on her bare stomach. Holding him in place with one hand, she lowered her shirt over him, stroking softly through the material. She murmured the whole trip, hoping she had the same effect on the kitten as Guy had on her when she rested against his chest the prior afternoon.
* * * * *
Tori was pacing again. Ever since Lita dropped them off at her cottage, she alternated between pacing and staring out the window.
“Come here,” Guy demanded as he snagged her around the waist and hoisted her to his lap. “Wearing yourself out isn’t going to help. You heard the vet. He did everything medically possible. All we can do now is wait.”
“I know. But what if I was wrong to bring him here instead of taking him to be with the other kittens?”
“Tori, he wouldn’t be in with them anyway. He has to have an IV for now. They don’t. He has to stay sedated so he doesn’t aggravate his bruises. The others are too active to be around him until he has some time to heal.”
“But maybe he could sense them if they were nearby. Maybe he could smell the mom cat too.”
“Maybe but think about the reason the vet asked us to leave. If the kitten really can pick up on your nervousness while he’s out, wouldn’t he also be able to tell that his mom’s hurting? What if the others are scared and that upsets him? Right now he needs quiet, warmth and fluids. You heard the simulated heartbeat through the heating pad. The vet said it’s been effective with other animals. It’ll seem like he’s curled up against something warm and calming. I’m worried too but for now he’s where he needs to be.”
“Oh, Guy, I know he is,” Tori sounded lost. “It’s just that I keep seeing Kimmie’s face when he got hit. She loved how half of each paw was white. She thought he looked like he was wearing socks. She always giggled at the way his nose looked off-center because the white triangle wasn’t right where his nose really was. Harry let her touch his eyebrows on the black side of his face to make sure they were really there since he only had one white one on that side and she couldn’t see the rest. He let her rub his belly and play with his toes. Harry can’t die, Guy. He just can’t. He was the one Kimmie was going to keep when they were old enough to leave the mom. He has to live because she loved him so much and I have to take care of him for her.”
“I’m sure he’s trying. Cats are very perceptive. He heard you talking to him. He understands he has a home with you and that you’ll take care of him just like Kimmie planned to.”
Tori’s face crumbled. “I never had a pet. I don’t really know how to take care of a cat.”
“Nothing to it. We always had a menagerie. Cats have unique personalities or ours did. They have a way of expressing their opinions until you understand what they want. We’ll pick up some basics, dishes, whatever food the vet recommends, litter box, assorted toys and let Harry take it from there.”
“What if he gets better and I bring him here and screw up?”
“You won’t, Tor. You already love him and that’s all animals need after you take care of the common sense stuff, like food and water. You’re very observant so you’ll notice if anything’s different and once you do you’ll have him checked out instead of ignoring it. You won’t go off for a week and leave him alone. You won’t kick him out of your way when he acts like a kitten and walks under your feet all day. You won’t toss him outside when you turn your back for three seconds and he steals your dinner. You won’t tie him up with a very short rope when he races around the house, knocking over everything he gets close to for hours at a time. You won’t yell mean things and push him away when he wants to cuddle and you’re in the middle of something that you can’t easily put down. I have faith in you.”
“I wish I did.”
“I bet you’ll be wondering what you were so worried by the end of the first day he’s here.”
“If he gets here. I guess it’s too soon to call.”
“Not if it’ll make you feel better. The vet told us to call as often as we wanted to and we’re going to take him at his word and do just that. Here.” Guy shifted her so he could tug his cell phone and the vet’s card from his pocket.
Tori shook her head and pushed it back toward him. “You call. I don’t think I’ll be able to talk without crying no matter what they say.”
A few minutes later Guy repeated the vet’s assurances that the kitten was resting comfortably and appeared to be stabilized. As Tori suspected, she was in tears before he finished telling her. Without a word, Guy reached for her shoes and removed them. Next, he did the same with his. Quickly, he tugged off both their shirts and pulled her down on the sofa with him, holding her on his chest as he had the day before.
“Much better,” Guy declared, drying Tori’s cheeks with his thumb. “Oh. I should have asked if this is okay with you first.”
Tori stared at him with a frown. “I didn’t think I was that bad today.”
“Excuse me?” He was confused.
“You’re being nice again like you were yesterday.”
“Well, damn. I made a real mess of things with you if you’re suspicious when I’m not being an overbearing brute. I need to work on this one.”
“Yeah, but could you maybe wait until I’m not so close to losing it? I think one of us should stay consistent and we both know that’s not going to be me for now. I was getting used to having an Alpha male around.”
“Mm, I sure do like the sound of that,” Guy teased.
“Not what I meant and you know it.”
“Ah, but it was. Don’t fight it, tiger. Not when you already know it’s inevitable.”
“You don’t have to overdo it.”
“Hey, just trying to make you comfortable,” he stated smugly. “Now shut up and relax.” Guy turned her head and pressed her cheek to his chest before kissing her hair. “It’s naptime.”
Chapter Eighteen
Two and a half hours after Tori crawled into her bed, she was still wide awake. Over dinner, when she and Guy had discussed the possibilities of her having a dream-free night, they both agreed that they shouldn’t alter their sleeping arrangements. Though she knew that continuing as they had been was the correct thing to do, it didn’t dispel her growing sense of loneliness. She felt exhausted in spite of the hour she’d napped on Guy’s chest earlier. Somehow, Tori sensed Russ would give her a night of peace so she should have been able to sleep but still couldn’t.
For a time, her thoughts focused on Harry. After Guy spoke with the vet the
last time, he had the man repeat his comments to her so she could hear firsthand how encouraged he was by the kitten’s improvement. Baring any unforeseen circumstances, Tori would be bringing him home within a week. He was younger than most kittens when they traditionally left their mothers but Sam had already been adding bits of solid food so the vet didn’t think the transition would take very long. She was still apprehensive but not nearly as much as she might have been without Guy’s supportiveness.
Guy. The real reason her mind wouldn’t shut down so she could sleep. On one hand, Tori still believed that his feelings would disappear as soon as the threat to her did. On the other hand, he seemed so certain that she was beginning to accept the things he kept insisting on. On yet another, Guy and everything that had happened since they met was entirely too overwhelming. It was all too much too soon and Tori didn’t trust her own reactions to let her life change so quickly. On the fourth, nonexistent hand, there was her vow never to leave herself vulnerable to the type of hurt she’d felt when she left her parents’ life. On the fifth hand, sex with Guy was too incredible to dismiss lightly, especially since she’d previously decided against casual sex with meaningless men.
Tori sighed. She’d been going around and around, trying to figure out what it all meant. So far, it evaded her. Her head was beginning to feel like it might explode so she had to find a way to turn off her mind long enough to fall asleep. Her thoughts were still spinning wildly after another half-hour of telling herself to stop dwelling on it so she decided it was time to take action.
She had been hearing Guy’s deep, even breathing for the past hour and knew he was sleeping soundly. Maybe, if she moved slowly and took her time, she could crawl in with him and snuggle up to his warm body without waking him. Even if she had to settle for sleeping next to him without touching him it would still be better than lying there alone all night, staring at the ceiling until the sun came up.
Very cautiously, Tori slid from her bed and padded to the spare room. She could see him in the light that stayed on in the hallway. Guy was on his back with one arm under his head and the other on his chest beneath the covers. For a few moments, Tori just stood there, watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful, much less rugged than when he was awake. It made her wonder if this was his usual expression when he wasn’t being the larger-than-life Alpha male who came out when they were together.
Tori lifted the corner of the covers just enough for her to inch her way beneath them. She thought she had successfully managed to join Guy without disturbing him when she suddenly found herself pinned on her back. There was one strong leg immobilizing hers. His forearm leaned on her neck so he could easily suffocate her and the barrel of his gun pressed against her temple.
“Please don’t shoot, Guy. It’s just me,” Tori choked out, forcing herself not to struggle.
As soon as Guy heard Tori’s voice, he released her. “What the fuck are you doing, sneaking in here like that? You looking to get yourself killed?”
“No,” Tori answered, her voice sounded small and meek.
“Holy Christ,” Guy swore. He switched on the lamp on the far nightstand and put his gun next to it after reengaging the safety.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled as she struggled to make her body function so she could run back to her room.
Guy ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath as his other hand clamped around Tori’s wrist. “No, I’m the one who is sorry.”
When Guy finally looked at her, Tori knew he could see the panic she was feeling. She’d never been more afraid in her entire life as she was when Guy reacted to her presence. She was sure he was affected too by the way he hauled her against him with his arms so tightly around her that she couldn’t breathe. Tori patted his forearm to get his attention but Guy failed to notice. Her fear returned, causing Tori to fight frantically against his grip. When she struggled for a breath, Guy evidently realized his mistake and loosened his arms just enough for her to breathe.
“Take it easy, tiger. You’re okay now,” he crooned. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. No one’s going to hurt you.”
Guy’s comments registered and Tori burst out laughing. “Don’t you mean other than you? That I’ll be just fine if you don’t break my neck, shoot me or suffocate me yourself?”
He waited until he was sure she was listening. “I will never hurt you. Even when you sneak up on me and my instincts kick in before my brain catches up and figures out it’s you, I swear I will never hurt you.”
“All right, fine. Whatever you say,” she agreed merely to pacify him.
Guy didn’t force the issue. “I can’t believe I didn’t hear you,” he sounded annoyed with himself. “I—”
“Wait,” she cut him off. “Don’t do that. I didn’t make any noise so there wasn’t anything for you to hear.”
“You woke yourself up this time? Weren’t—”
“No,” she interrupted again. “I wasn’t dreaming. I wasn’t even asleep.”
“Oh. Then what’s wrong? Did you hear something outside?”
Tori grabbed Guy before he made it off the bed. “No. Jeez, this was a really bad idea.”
“What was?” His frustration was showing.
“Damn,” she swore at herself. “I couldn’t sleep, okay? I know what we said but I’m sure I won’t have one of those dreams tonight. I just couldn’t get my mind to shut up. I was lying there, staring at the ceiling, listening to you sleep and I decided it might help if I could hear you better.”
“So you came over here, intending to cozy up to me and I scared the shit out of you instead.”
“Like I said,” she shrugged, “bad idea. Guess I’ll get back to where I belong now.”
“Wrong,” Guy declared, emphasizing the word by trapping her on her back again, only without any pressure this time. “The only flaw in an otherwise perfect idea was my failure to explain how I might react if I were startled. I neglected to make sure you understood the need for you to make plenty of noise so I wouldn’t do what I just did.”
“Hmm.” Tori’s brows crinkled. “I do something impulsive, something that I would have known not to do if I’d bothered to think at all, which you perceive as a threat to my safety so you switch into super-cop mode and now you’re making it seem like it was your fault. Nope. Not going to work. Thanks for trying though.”
He shook his head. “I see we need to spend more time on this one. I was irresponsible, Tori. But I can wait until morning to make you see that. I’d much rather discuss the fact that you just acknowledged that you know you sleep better when you’re with me.”
“Hate to burst your bubble, Detective, but it’s a temporary thing. Once this is over and I’m back to my regular routine, I’m sure I’ll be just fine. If you didn’t breathe so loudly I wouldn’t have thought of it tonight either.”
“More denial,” Guy stated. He rolled to his back with Tori stretched along his side. “It’s okay though. Hang on to that if you need to. I won’t say I told you so when you admit it.”
“You’re being a jerk again.”
“Since when does having the patience to wait for the woman of my dreams to let herself accept that she loves me as much as I love her qualify as being a jerk?”
“When you know it’s not true and act like a smug asshole while you pretend it is.”
“Better watch what you say. Since only one of us is pretending and it isn’t me you might want to reconsider making your current misguided definitions known.”
Tori was too tongue-tied to choose between her sarcastic responses so she punched the side of his stomach instead.
“Aren’t we past that yet? If you want me to handcuff you, say so. Hitting me to get me to caution you against assaulting a police officer really isn’t necessary.”
“Oh, get a grip, will you? Not everything is about sex. Sometimes people get hit because they deserve it. And before you say it, I came over here to sleep, not because I had some secret plan to trick you into pawing me ag
ain.”
“Really?” Guy acted totally shocked. “You aren’t longing to find out what other ways I can use my hands to make you scream?”
“No.”
“You really weren’t lying in bed, unable to sleep because you kept remembering how good my fingers felt inside your pussy?”
“No.”
“Huh? No burning need to discover how long you can stand having your nipples tormented without begging for my cock?”
“No. Jeez, get over yourself already. Can’t you take a hint? I’m not interested. I simply do not want you at the moment. Why is that so hard for you to understand?”
“Oh, I understand all right. I understand perfectly well. Yep, I sure do understand what you’re telling me. Just like I understand that you’re lying. Badly.”
“I am not.”
“No? Good then, since you’re not at all excited, you won’t mind if I give you a proper goodnight kiss to help me get back to sleep.”
“No problem. Take your time. Talking to you has me almost asleep anyway. Don’t mind me if I nod off in the middle of your little kiss.”
Guy chuckled at the bored expression on Tori’s face. It might have been convincing if her nipples weren’t poking his side and he wasn’t able to smell her arousal. “You go right ahead if you’re that tired. Don’t force yourself to stay awake for me. I can entertain myself.” He winked as he lowered his mouth to hers.
Guy started with little, tight-lipped kisses that he once thought were the best the first time he worked up his nerve to try them. He continued until he slowly covered every bit of her lips several times, long after Tori began to respond. He eventually progressed to kisses with looser lips but still closed-mouth. When she attempted to pressure his lips to part, he ignored her. He refused repeatedly until she forced her tongue into his mouth. Even then, Guy remained passive, letting Tori work to make it into something more.
“Damn it, Guy. Kiss me for real!”
“Gee, Tori, I think this is real. What am I doing wrong?”
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