by Bonnie Vanak
He still had his buddies, like Cooper and Jarrett. Hell, his former teammates were more family than Dan or Jake. But they were settled now. Happy.
They had something he longed for, but didn’t know how to obtain. All Nick knew was the wandering lifestyle he’d led since leaving the navy meant he was never alone long with those doubts pummeling him. The demons inside him kept whispering in Silas’s voice that he was headed to ruin.
At least he had a private room, where no one could see him like this, sprawled in a hospital bed, too exhausted to move. He wondered if the nurse could hang a sign on his door—No Visitors. As far as he was concerned, the longer the door remained shut, the better.
A soft tap at his door. Aw, hell. He hoped it wasn’t Dan, Felicity and their kids again. Felicity had been weeping, her eyes red and her makeup smeared. Dan had looked stricken and the kids had been shell-shocked. After inquiring if Nick needed anything, Dan told him he was taking the family out of town for a few days. The barn fire had scared the living daylights out of them.
And then Dan had lowered the hammer.
“I’m going to sell the acres Silas left me. I’m sorry, Nick. It’s gotten too dangerous. There’s a farm in Knoxville that’s looking for a manager. I’m headed out today to interview with them, and Felicity is going to look at houses we can rent until we get ready to buy one.”
Nick wished him luck. He couldn’t disagree. If he had a family, he’d bolt as well. But he’d promised Shelby to give it his best to save the farm.
“Come in,” he called out.
Shelby walked inside, Shelby with soot streaking her pretty face, her cranberry sweater and jeans smelling like smoke. Something tight in Nick’s chest eased. The worry clouding her big eyes centered on him as she took in the IV pole, the stupid mask covering his face.
A bit of heaven. No one had worried about him in a very long time.
What would it be like to come home every night to her, feel her arms wrap around him tight as if she never wanted to let go?
But he wasn’t the sticking-around type, as she had reminded him. Wanderer.
What the hell am I searching for, anyway?
Right now, a way out of this damn hospital and back to the ranch, so he could get back to work. Get back to finding the bastard who thought it okay to torch a barn and nearly kill a small child. Nick’s fury rose. He clenched his fists in impotent rage.
And then coughed again.
Shelby’s hand smoothed his brow. “Easy, tough guy. You’re not going anywhere. Just relax.”
Her hand felt great against his warm brow, smooth and cool. Caring. Too good. He could easily get used to this, used to Shelby.
“Timmy?” he rasped. “How is he?”
But then tears filled her eyes and she blinked hard, as if trying to push them back. “You saved him. He inhaled smoke and he’ll probably be in here another day, but he’s alive. You’re a hero, Nicolas Anderson.”
Deeply uncomfortable with the label, he shook his head. Heroes were noble men who sacrificed everything. He wasn’t one of them. Because as soon as the ranch was financially in the clear, he was gone.
Heroes were ordinary men who stuck it out. Not guys like him, always running away to the next destination.
She remained on his bed, stroking his hair. Damn, she was a sight for any man, sooty or not. His heart tugged as he thought of how worried and panicked she was, nearly losing her nephew.
Nick reached up, clasped her hand. Couldn’t speak without coughing, but he squeezed her hand in reassurance. And then he thumbed away a single tear trickling down her cheek.
Shelby smiled softly, reached for the tissue box at her bedside and wiped her eyes. “I’m fine. And you’re going to be fine, too. The barn—” she gave a little laugh “—that’s not so fine. Everything’s a loss, but it can be replaced.”
He sagged against the pillow. Damn. He’d hoped the firefighters had managed to save part of the structure. The tractor he planned to use to tow the wagon for the hayride, the corn husks for the maze, the tools he needed for repairs. All gone.
He slammed a fist against the mattress. Shelby placed her palm over his hand. “No, Nick. It’s just stuff. It can be replaced, eventually. You and Timmy can’t. When I saw you run into the barn, Nick, I was praying you’d come back. I thought I had lost you for good.”
“Yeah. Well, I’m made of flame retardant.” He grinned, but she did not smile back. Instead, she squeezed his hand.
“How long are they keeping me?”
“Until later today. Maybe overnight.” She picked up his hand, kissed it. “If you’re a good boy and rest, and do what the doctor says.”
Worry riddled him. Stuck in here meant leaving the ranch vulnerable. Shelby vulnerable. If anything happened to her... His hand itched for his gun. When he found the bastard who did this, nearly killing her beloved nephew, he’d make him pay.
But he hadn’t been a SEAL all those years without learning discipline and patience. And priorities. His main priority was ensuring his family, and Shelby, were all safe at the ranch.
“Maybe you should move out. Until we catch this ass who’s doing this. You, Dan and his family, and Jake. At least you for now. Keep you safe.”
Shelby blinked hard. “Nick, the ranch is my home as much as it is yours. I don’t run. We made a deal, remember? We’re in this together.”
He coughed and she adjusted the cannula over his cheeks. His throat still burned, but he had to convince her. Because he didn’t know if the arsonist who’d done this would resort to even more desperate measures.
“That was before...” He dragged in a deep breath. “This got deadly, Shel. What about Tim? The apartment’s too isolated.”
A stubborn line indented her forehead. “Then I’ll move into the main house until you get out of here. Felicity will have to bite me.”
He laughed, which turned into a fit of coughing. Shelby poured him a glass of water. Damn that woman, all spark and sass, stubborn as him. Nothing put her down.
A quiet knock on the door and Jonah walked inside. Nick set down the glass and narrowed his eyes.
“What the hell are you doing here? Come to tell me there may have been a fire?”
Jonah’s gaze flicked from him to Shelby. “I’m here to give you an update on the investigation.”
Shelby bristled. “You mean there actually is an investigation now? A little late, Jonah.”
The man shuffled his feet, and withdrew a small notepad from his jacket pocket, along with a pen. “There is now. Tell me what you saw. Anything.”
For the next several minutes, Shelby and Nick filled in Jonah on all the incidents.
“What about the barn?” Nick asked, struggling to sit up. Damn, he hated looking weak, especially in front of Jonah. He never forgot how Jonah beat him out for the football team in high school.
“It was definitely arson. Fire chief found an empty gas can in the ruins.”
He and Shelby exchanged glances. She scowled at Jonah. “I told you that gas can wasn’t in the root cellar by accident.”
Nick put a calming hand on her arm. “How did it start?”
“Could have been anything. A match, an electrical spark. Chief will give me a full report when they finish digging through the ruins.” Jonah shook his head. “I’m assigning a special team on this case, Nick.”
“Nice of you to finally believe me,” he said angrily. “Maybe if you had listened to me earlier, Timmy wouldn’t be in the hospital and I’d still have a barn. Or maybe you wanted the place to burn down—”
“Nick, please,” Shelby interrupted.
Jonah sighed. “I believe you now. Truth is, I thought all these things were high school pranks. Kids, fooling around. And maybe...”
Nick waited.
The man’s gaze m
et his. “I pushed this to the back burner because it was you, Nick. I never did forgive you for pulling that stunt when we were kids and boosting my dad’s car, driving it into the pond. My old man worked real hard for that car. We weren’t rich, like your family. Didn’t matter that Silas bought him a new one. I resented you because you got away with everything, while the rest of us had to work hard for what little we had.”
Guilt flashed through Nick. “Would it make you feel better to know that Silas beat me for that, and made me work extra hours mucking out the stalls?”
Jonah grinned. “Only if you fell face-first into the manure pile.”
He stuck out a hand. Nick shook it.
“Truce.”
Jonah would never be his friend, but he needed the sheriff’s help now. “You can make up for not believing me about the gas can and the other things.”
“How?”
“Keep an eye on the place until they spring me.” His gaze shot over to Shelby. “And Shelby. She’s alone and vulnerable. I don’t like leaving the ranch unguarded.”
“I’m not vulnerable,” Shelby snapped. Then she bit her lush lower lip. “But you’re right about the ranch. It is too wide open for more incidents. Whoever did this isn’t satisfied anymore with leaving notes or ruining tack or digging holes on the trails.”
Mentally he went through his personal finances. Paying extra security would drain his savings even more after he’d paid the bills for the pumpkin patch, but it was necessary.
Jonah shook his head. “Two of the guys agreed to a security detail at the ranch. No charge. Can’t spare them more than a couple of days, though.”
“I can pay.” Nick struggled with his pride.
“Not necessary. Silas did a lot for this town. It’s time to pay him back.”
Soon, he would be home. Hell, he’d be home today if he could. But at least with Jonah’s men patrolling, the house and grounds would have extra eyes looking for trouble.
The sheriff looked at him, nodded. “Got to get back. Take care, Nick.”
When Jonah left, Shelby remained, sitting on his bed and smoothing back his hair. He closed his eyes, suddenly weary. Her concern spread through his chest, warming him. Felt good to have someone care about him. Hell, he could get used to this.
No, you can’t. Because you’ll eventually leave and go searching again...
For what?
For the first time since he left the navy, Nick wasn’t sure. What the hell was he looking for, anyway? Another dead-end job, cash for a paycheck? Another quick bout of sex, satisfying his body’s demands but leaving him as empty as before?
He’d been so busy wandering, hopping from city to city, that it kept all his demons at bay. They swirled around in his head now, taunting him much like the old man’s voice.
Shelby deserved a sticking-around kind of guy, someone to marry her, give her lots of babies and make her happy. Give her a home where she could feel safe and secure. Put those roses back on her cheeks, the spark in her eye and coax free that gurgling laugh.
Not him.
Nick let her stroke his brow. Touch him. He’d give himself this small luxury of Shelby, allow himself to dream that she could be his for life.
For now.
Because he suspected soon enough, he’d be walking out of her life again. This time, for good.
Chapter 13
Despite his doctor’s protests, Nick left the hospital early the following morning. He didn’t like leaving the farm unguarded, and Shelby unprotected.
Once home, he made a few phone calls. If they were getting the Anderson pumpkin patch underway, he needed help. Two of Silas’s friends who owned farms agreed to loan him tools, their tractors and other items needed. Not only that, but they also volunteered to help set everything up. They would stop by later in the week with the necessary items.
Next, he went into Silas’s study and opened his own personal laptop to check the network monitor he’d installed on the ranch’s Wi-Fi router. The firmware program he’d designed himself protected the network, allowing him to improve security against malicious attacks.
It also allowed him to inspect all the IP addresses visited by anyone using the ranch’s Wi-Fi. In light of the barn fire and the increased threat of violence, he pushed on. He had to find the person behind these acts, and if it meant cyber spying, he would do it.
Later, he would ask forgiveness. Forgiveness, in light of the fact that Timmy had nearly lost his life, was much better than permission.
He also shut down the ranch’s social-media accounts and opened new ones with stronger password protection, giving access only to himself.
Nick suspected the same person who burned down the barn and created the other problems was connected to the social-media hacking. His thoughts immediately went to Chuck Beaufort. The developer had much to lose if he couldn’t acquire this land. That theme park needed the acreage and the water rights and main-road access. And Chuck’s daughter had access to the stables and the trails since she boarded Fancy here.
Beaufort was the person who stood to gain the most if Nick decided to sell.
He looked over the results of the latest scan. Nothing extraordinary, except Shelby had visited several banking sites in the past week, and a site listing jobs in France. Sighing, he leaned back. Shelby should leave Belle Creek. She had a lot of talent, and the ranch stifled her artistic ability because she seldom had a chance to paint.
For now, he had a much larger concern. He packed a few things in a backpack.
Dan and his family were in town shopping. Jake had gone to Nashville to check on ordering a new tractor, and Shelby was at the hospital, visiting Timmy. Kid was due to come home later today.
His blood boiled as he thought of the boy dying in the barn fire. The sabotage had escalated beyond malicious pranks. Even with Jonah and his deputies promising to investigate, the arsonist could strike again.
To prevent any more injuries, he’d laid down strict rules. No one on the farm was to go off alone. Even the staff were working in pairs as a safety measure.
Nick made himself the exception to the rule. Mostly, he worried about Shelby. She was gutsy and accustomed to roaming the property alone. He remembered her when they were growing up together. She was a cute little thing, tousled long curls, always messy, always tagging along after him. Even back then when he was young, he recognized a kindred loneliness in her. Maybe that was the reason that he became attracted to her back then, when they were small enough to play as innocent children. But when he grew older and she grew older, a spark of attraction burst into a flame.
He had few regrets in life. Nick believed in living on the edge and making the most of your life. It was one of the reasons why he became a Navy SEAL. But he did have one regret, when he’d been too young and arrogant to fully comprehend the consequences of what he’d done to Shelby. He didn’t regret kissing her, no, that was an action he was damn glad he’d taken. He regretted the haunted, painful look on her face when he told her he couldn’t stay.
Pushing aside thoughts of Shelby, he turned his attention to the fire. There was no reason for the water pressure to be that low. Someone must have cut the pipes leading to the water hole. Years ago, his father had laid down several yards of piping from the pond, both for irrigation and for the pump at the barn.
An hour later, his backpack and tool bag sitting in the cargo basket, Nick set out on an ATV to trace the water line. The piping system on the farm worked much like a sprinkler system in a homeowner’s yard. While working as a handyman during his travels, he’d repaired a few of those.
The above-ground white pipes were easy to spot, and maintain. The narrow road leading to the water hole was soft dirt; a well-used horse trail. Views of the mountains were prettier here, and the riders could admire the sun glinting off the water in midday. He passed
a soft sand corral used for training horses. Ringed by sprawling trees, the pond was naturally fed by underground springs. But they’d always called it a pond.
Decades ago, Silas had set it up to pump water from the springs to the outlying barn and pastures. The water pump system should have worked to extinguish the barn fire. The pipe to the barn ran in a narrow ditch bordering the trail.
At the culvert in the road, the pipe led to a T joint, with another set of pipes leading to the fields for irrigation. There was a shut-off value at the T joint. Nick climbed off the ATV, carrying his tool bag.
It wasn’t needed, for the shut-off value came off easily in his hands. Inside the pipes was a rag. He swore. No wonder the water pressure had been insufficient. Someone deliberately clogged the water flow and set fire to the barn.
Nick removed the rag and glued the shut-off value in place. He returned to the ATV and followed the trail to the water hole.
Memories assaulted him as his gaze landed on the one-hundred-foot-tall sycamore tree near the bank. How many times had he climbed that tree on the wood rungs he’d nailed to the trunk? He and Silas had built a platform on a long, sturdy limb, the beginnings of a tree house. That project had been abandoned when his mom fell ill, and eventually died. The platform had turned into a refuge after that. He’d been only eleven, grief-stricken and numb, for he’d not just lost his mother, but Silas had died to him that day and stopped being the father who treated him well.
Despite his best attempts to remain hidden, Shelby always found him. She would sit with him on the half-finished tree house as he released all his pent-up feelings about losing Mom. Even gave him that stuffed bear with the chewed-off ear she lugged around.
Shelby, who had been more of a friend than even Dan, who’d acted like a big brother.
Nick stripped off his clothing and dove into the springs from the platform he and Silas had built in happier times, when they’d worked together as father and son. Before his mom died, and Silas’s world died with it. The cold water hit him like thousands of stabbing needles. Nick grimaced, but he’d felt worse during his time as a SEAL. The water was clear, sandy at the bottom. He swam underwater, following the pipes to ensure none were cracked or sliced.