by C. Michelle
We walk across the street to a Greek restaurant. During lunch hour, the place is packed. I order a Mediterranean salad; guilt still overwhelms me from recent poor food choices. Having special treats on occasion is fine, but everything I ate yesterday combined was full blown madness. I’m enjoying my salad and company with Chris. He’s venting about the two cases he just received. Both are about single women who allowed strange men into their homes and as a result, their kids were molested. A single mom has every right to continue living her life. The issue is that the women in our caseloads brought in any Tom, Dick, or Harry into their house, completely disregarding the security of their family. Then, they have the audacity to act shocked once they find out these strangers they’ve been with for a short period are only with them to prey upon their children. We also discuss a specific case where the man molested his child and the wife’s sole concern was her husband and his freedom. She didn’t care that her own flesh was the victim; her main concern was finding ways to free her husband. It’s a sad, disturbing, and infuriating case. We rant about the justice system and the politics behind it. We’re both deep in conversation when I hear, “Valentina.”
I almost choke on my food when I hear the sound of his voice.
“Who’s this?” Josh directs the question at me as he points to Chris. Oh, my goodness. I’m so not in the mood for this right now.
“Josh, this is a coworker, but that’s none of your concern. Please leave.” I beg. The last thing I need is a dramatic spectacle like the one that occurred this weekend.
“Get up.” Josh commands sternly. “We need to talk.”
As I’m sitting, looking up at Josh, I feel intimidated. He looks enraged in his tall and manly stance. His deep voice makes my body shiver. Immediately, I sense my nipples harden as they long to be in his mouth. What the fuck, Nina! Focus! He’s not your man anymore and he’s going to cause a scene!
“We were just about to leave and go back to work. My lunch break is over. Our talk will have to wait.” I do my best to hold my ground.
“You can be a few minutes late. We need to talk. Now.” He reiterates with an agitated expression. I notice he’s taking deep breaths and is trying to calm down, but is failing miserably. Is that steam coming out of his ears?
Chris intervenes. “Clearly, you didn’t hear the lady. She’s going back to work and doesn’t want to speak with you.”
Oh, shit.
Josh faces Chris and lowers his body, positioning himself slightly above Chris. “I heard MY lady just fine. I suggest—”
I cut Josh off and grab him by his arm. “Come on, let’s go. Sorry, Chris. I’ll see you in the office later.”
Josh slowly backs away from Chris, but maintains eye contact with him. I attempt to lead Josh out of the restaurant with as much force as possible, yet still remain inconspicuous. I feel so embarrassed with Chris. Once we step outside, I do my best to remain focused and not allow Josh to manipulate the conversation, but I feel so small compared to him as he hovers over me. I disregard the feeling and use all my pent-up anger to glare at him.
“I don’t have time to play your little games, Josh. I have to go back to work. I would never go to your office and behave the way you just did right now. It’s pretty psycho of you and you’re behaving like a stalker. To be honest, it doesn’t suit you.” I’m afraid to give in to him, so I do my best to push him away and keep our conversation short.
Josh gives me an evil laugh. “I’ll admit to the stalker part, but psycho? You busted my head open and called the cops on me! That’s some fucked up shit! That pretty much qualifies you for psycho of the year if you ask me.”
“Well, I didn’t. Now, leave. I have to go back to work.” I’m getting restless now.
“We need to talk about what happened this weekend. Also, I don’t want you hanging around that guy.” His stare is uncompromising.
“Are you fuckin’ serious? Are you aware that you were practically jumping that dirty whore’s bones right in front of me? You have absolutely no say in anything pertaining to my life. I don’t give a fuck if you don’t want me hanging around him. I didn’t care for you being with that cheap slut, yet that didn’t stop you. I suggest you check yourself before you start making demands from me.” Now, I’m furious.
“Damn you, woman! Nicole is a dirty hoe. You can’t penalize me for her actions. Can you please just fuckin’ talk to me and let me explain without getting yourself worked up?” Josh runs his fingers through his hair and clenches his jaw; he tries to remain calm, but fails.
“I’m not ready. Give me a few days and then maybe we can discuss things like mature adults. Right now, I’m not there yet. Please leave and give me time.” I don’t know what else to say. I have an array of mixed emotions.
“Fine. I’ll be waiting for you. Even though you’re psycho, I still miss you.” Josh tells me as he tries to get close to me.
“Don’t.” I reply.
Chapter 8 (Nina)
Gifts
When I arrive home, I inform Kade of my latest drama. He insists that I communicate with Josh as soon as possible to clear the air between us. I’m simply not ready for such a confrontation. I decide to put the situation in the back of my mind and not dwell on it. It’s definitely easier said than done.
A few days pass, now it’s Friday, the end of the work week. I meet with Emme for lunch. I inform her that I’ve finally built the courage to speak with Josh. We agree that I should surprise him and show up at his house after work unexpectedly. He has a set routine for himself. On Fridays, he usually leaves his office early to hang out at the gym for a long workout. By the time I get off work, he should be home. I thank Emme for hearing me out and putting up with me. I love her.
I reach Josh’s house and notice that his truck is parked in his driveway. The gate is open, so I’m able to walk into the premises and ring the doorbell even though I know he has a key above one of the light sconces by his door. I ring the buzzer again. Still no response, but decide to wait a bit longer. Right as I’m about to leave, the door opens. Instantly, I feel my stomach turn and vile liquid rise up my throat when I see a half-naked woman answer the door. Nicole. The whore.
“Yes? Can I help you?” She asks with a devious leer. She’s hiding most of her body behind the door, but I can clearly see her open shirt displaying her bra and bite marks throughout her breasts. Her hair looks disheveled and her breathing is at a rapid pace.
I’m too stunned to move or speak. Eventually, I manage to lace my words with venom and say, “You dirty cunt. I hope that when you kissed him, you were able to taste my pussy’s juice all over his mouth and dick.”
I know I’m being vulgar, but I don’t give a fuck. I know I should be classy and not sink to her level, but all I see is red. I can’t comprehend rationality at this point. I want to smash her face in with my foot, but I won’t. I refuse to give Josh the satisfaction of seeing me fight over him like some fuckin’ dog.
“Is that why he tastes so damn good?” Nicole has the audacity to ask, striking me back with her own poisonous words.
I can’t believe this conniving bitch just said that! Walk away, Nina. Just walk away.
“I see you finally sank your claws into him. Well, you can have him.” I state as I turn my back to leave. Just then, I hear a noise behind her, I notice Josh wet and naked with just a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Nina!” He yells.
Seeing them next to each other shatters my heart and spirit. It’s over. I wasted my feelings, trust, and hope on the wrong person. Let him go, Nina. He’s not worth another second of your time.
“Don’t come after me ever again, Josh. I’m done. You and this dirty slut belong together.” I feel my eyes burn as they swell up with tears, but I’m determined not to shed them, especially in front of Josh and his whore.
I walk away as fast as I can until I reach my car.
“Nina! Wait! I can explain!” Josh tries to chase after me, but I’m already in the car.
“Fuck you and your explanation!” I yell out as I drive away.
The hurt from seeing them together is overwhelming, but now I have another reality to deal with first. I’m terrified of driving down this hill, usually with Josh by my side, I feel safe and conquer my fears. But now, that anxiety is at a full force. I refuse to let him hinder my progress. I don’t need him; I can do this by myself. With determination and all my will power, I slowly drive down the hill. Once I reach level ground, I take off as if my ass were on fire.
Within moments, my cellphone goes off continuously, missed calls and text messages all from him. I pull over and disregard his messages. Instead, I send him one of my own demanding that he doesn’t bother me again since he has hurt me deeply enough.
I head home and drown myself in sorrow and regret, the song, “Rehab” from Rihanna comes to mind. I’m hurt by him and disappointed in myself. I’m not sure which feeling bothers me most. I trusted him and believed his words when he stated he would never hurt me. I knew better than to open myself to him so easily, yet I did. I recognize I should have kept my guard up and not made myself so vulnerable. Lesson learned.
A few weeks have passed by with no word from Josh. I’ve been in a melancholy state since I saw HIM with HER. I’ve canceled two photo shoots since then. I just haven’t been up to getting dolled up and being under scrutiny for several hours. I usually conduct myself in a professional manner, but lately, my heart just hasn’t been in my work.
It’s the weekend before Christmas, I decide to do some final shopping and stop by my mom’s shop for some baked goods before Kade and I head home. My mom is at the register closing up today’s sales. I see the back of a tall, muscular man in a black baseball hat wearing a grey tank top right behind her working on the trim of the doorway to the kitchen. His broad shoulders and cut up arms are well defined as he works. It takes me a moment to register that this man has a tattoo taking up his right shoulder and backside. It’s not just any tattoo, it’s the back of a tattoo I’ve kissed and caressed with my tongue countless times.
My mom looks up and has a shocked expression on her face. “Nina! Kade! Hey, loves. What brings you by?” She asks with guilt consuming her delicate features.
At the sound of our names, the man working on my mom’s shop turns around and faces me.
Seeing Josh after so many weeks takes me by surprise. First of all, he looks hot as hell. His tank top shows off his muscular upper body. He’s wearing loose fitted Levi jeans, he’s slightly sweaty, and now his stubble is more evident along his jawline. He looks rugged and absolutely sexy. There’s something extremely appealing about a man who’s isn’t afraid to get down and dirty while he’s working. It takes all my willpower not to throw myself on top of him. Then, it hits me. What the fuck is Joshua Ryan doing at my mom’s bakery? I can see that he’s working, but why him? After the shock begins to fade, I direct my scowl at Victoria Moretti. I’m so pissed, I can’t even speak. I walk away and drag Kade with me.
“Wait!” My mom yells.
She chases after us and catches up to me right before I get in my car. “Nina, stop acting like such a child. You need to speak to the poor kid.”
“Why the hell is he working in your bakery, mom?” I’m fuming!
Nervously, she responds, “He comes over all the time. He has a serious sweet tooth. He’s depressed over you, Nina. One day, he suggested that I expand the doorway to the kitchen and make other changes behind the register. He stated that he would do it for free on the weekends as long as I fed him Italian dishes and pastries. How could I pass that up? We’ve had long talks about you and the reason you two are no longer together. You should really talk to him, Nina.”
I’m beyond shocked with her words. “My own mother on the side of the enemy?”
My mom laughs. “Calm down, drama child.” She gets serious. “He’s a good man who has made several mistakes, but has real feelings for you.”
“I don’t wanna hear it, mom. I can’t believe you’re siding with him! Let me know when he’s done with this project and it’s safe for me to get some pastries.” I tell her with annoyance clear in my voice.
Kade intervenes. “Cheesecake, I think you’re being rude. Sorry, Mama V. You know how stubborn your child can be. I would hate to leave all those baked goods to get stale. I wouldn’t mind taking them off your hands.”
“Kade!” I yell and give him a disbelieving look.
“What? I’ve been craving cannoli all day. If you wanna starve, that’s on you.” He says insensitively.
Just then, Josh approaches us. “I can’t believe you’re throwing a tantrum on my account. Grow up. I’m helping your mom. This isn’t about you. If my presence bothers you so much, ignore me.” Josh’s aggravated expression and indifference has me bewildered. Why the hell is he upset with me?
Josh directs his attention to my mom. “I’ll be back shortly to finish up.” He walks away without giving me a second glance.
“Wait here. I’ll be right back with a box of your favorites.” My mom kisses Kade on the cheek and gives me a stern expression. Is she serious? Whose team is she on anyway?
She returns with a box of baked goods for the both of us. I’m so pissed; I know those treats won’t make it to the house. I’ll be shoving them down my throat, eating away my feelings. If Kade even thinks about saying one inappropriate comment, I’m punking him for his cannoli.
On the ride back home, he’s quite as he devours his sinful dessert that he allows himself once a week.
Christmas finally arrives. In the morning, Kade, my mom, and I eat our customary holiday breakfast consisting of eggs, waffles, bacon, hash browns, toast, and a fruit salad. Yum! We wait for Emme to arrive so that we can open our gifts. She usually celebrates Christmas Eve with her family and opens presents at midnight. On Christmas day, she spends it with us. When she finally arrives, we’re anxious to unveil our gifts. As the years have progressed, we’ve made rules to our gift exchange. We each give five presents to each individual. One present is a nice gift not to exceed fifty dollars, three presents can only cost ten bucks per item, and the final gift has to be sexual in nature with no dollar limit. Seeing my mom open up the sex toys she gets for Christmas always has Emme, Kade, and me dying from laughter. It never fails, it’s the highlight of the year.
After we exchange the typical Christmas gifts perfume, clothes, gift cards, and cool trinkets, it’s finally time to open up the sexy (in Kade’s case…raunchy) goodies. My mom wants to hand out her gifts first. She still feels a bit uncomfortable about purchasing sex toys for her “kids,” so she maintains the sexiness level to a minimum. Emme and I get two pretty satin and lace nighties. Kade gets silk boxers with the initials KD on them. Right away, Kade, Emme, and I start giggling. My mom isn’t aware that Kade’s alter ego (yes, he has one) is KD, which represents “Killer Dick,” not Kade Daly, like my mom meant for it to stand. She’s completely out of the loop. Kade turns to my mom and gives her a big hug and kiss on the cheek.
“Mama V, you will never know how inappropriate the gift you just gave me is.” He says while he’s laughing. “It’s by far, one of my favorite presents ever!”
My mom slaps Kade’s leg. “Ugh! You kids and your perverted inside jokes.” She does her best to contain a smile, but fails. That just makes us laugh harder.
She continues handing us the last of her gifts, edible massage oils. Okay, at least she tried. Emme’s next. She gives my mom her elegantly, decorated present, a three DVD set of variety porn with several hours of fucking.
“Victoria, I don’t really know what you’re into, so I decided to give you a sample of everything.” Emme smiles warmly at my mom as if she just gave her a scarf for Christmas instead of movies with the covers of open vaginas on them.
“That was very sweet of you, Emme. Thank you.” My mom replies. Kade and I can’t help but chuckle. She’s my mom, not only is it slightly awkward, it’s hilarious too.
Emme hands Kade his gift. It’s a spanking paddl
e with the word “SLUT” cut out of it. Without hesitation, I notice Kade’s expression change.
“Mom, cover your ears!” I order. In the past, she’s asked us to tell her when to wear her “earmuffs,” the last thing she wants to hear is something that will completely traumatize her.
Kade can’t keep his eyes off Emme. “Well, well…I see you’ve been a naughty girl and need to get spanked. You want me to mark that sweet ass of yours, you dirty slut? Tell me and beg for it.” The look he gives Emme is lasciviously sinful.
“You two stop it! I can’t believe you’re thinking about fucking during a family event! Get your heads out of the gutter! Emme, I can’t comprehend why you would set yourself up like that. You know if you two fuck again, he’s going to run his mouth.” I remind her.
“I couldn’t help myself. I’ve been horny lately.” She confesses shyly.
“That’s okay, boo. Daddy will be sure to smack that ass nice and hard the next time I get a chance.” Kade winks at Emme.
“Ewww. Stop that. You two are too much. Behave!” There’s no way I could maintain being serious. “Okay, mom! Earmuffs off.”
“Sorry.” Both Kade and Emme apologize without the slightest bit of regret and with smirks on their faces.
“Oh, forget about it.” My mom replies with her Italian twang that slips out every once in a while. “I swear…there’s never a dull moment with you three around.” She says with an exasperated tone.
It’s my turn to open Emme’s gift. It’s a clear glass dildo with a red wavy design inside, it’s really pretty. “Awww…thanks, hun. I love it! You so know me.” I give her a hug.