Mary shook her head slowly from side to side. “All taken care of, so don’t give it another thought.”
“What?” Ellis’s eyes flew open wide.
“I’ll tell you about it while we eat.” Mary started for the kitchen. “What do you want to drink?”
“Probably nothing until I make a trip to the bathroom.”
Mary grabbed the crutches from beside the glider rocker. “Here, let me help you.” She held a hand out to Ellis, pulled her to a standing position, and helped her get the crutches under her arms. “Down this hall,” Mary said as she led the way. She stood aside as Ellis hobbled into the bathroom.
Ellis shinnied past the vanity and positioned herself in front of the commode.
“Yell if you need help,” Mary said as she pulled the door closed.
“Uh, Mary… I can’t get my pants unzipped while I’m holding these crutches. And if I sit down, then I can’t get the zipper undone.”
Mary stepped back into the bathroom. “Here you go.” She deftly unbuttoned Ellis’s jeans and pulled the zipper down. “Might as well help you get these out of the way.” She tugged gently on the Levi’s and eased them past Ellis’s androgynous hips. Ellis stood stock still, balanced on her crutches.
“Should I do your underwear, too?”
Ellis laughed self-consciously. “Oh, why not? What little dignity I had left is lying in a heap on the side of LaVista Road.”
“Hey, I’m a mother. Trust me, when you’re lying in the delivery room with your feet in the stirrups and everyone from your OB-GYN to the guy who stocks the vending machines in the hospital break room drops by to check how much you’ve dilated, you lose your very last shred of modesty.” She carefully grabbed the elastic of Ellis’s panties and moved them low enough that Ellis could sit freely on the toilet.
Mary turned so that her back was to Ellis.
Ellis dropped onto the seat and dropped her crutches on the floor. The gush of urine splashing into the bowl echoed off the walls. “I feel like I should burst into a chorus of ‘Old Man River,’ or something.” An awkward moment passed. “Gawd, this is embarrassing.”
“Normal biological function,” Mary said. “Everybody does it. While you finish up here, why don’t I get you something else to wear? We can take that boot off and ice your ankle while you eat. You’d be lots more comfortable in some sweats.”
Mary exited the bathroom, closing the door behind her and leaving Ellis to reflect on the cavalcade of horrors that the day had brought. How many more humiliations would be laid on her before day’s end? Hearing Mary returning interrupted the embarrassing litany of possibilities parading through her mind.
“Ready?” Mary asked from the other side of the door.
“Sure, if you are.”
Mary reentered the room. “I made an executive decision and cut the right leg of this pair of sweatpants off halfway below the knee. That way, your leg will stay warm, but you won’t have to deal with the elastic pinching off your circulation from pushing it up high enough to clear your cast.” She handed the pants to Ellis.
Ellis turned the sweats over in her hands. “Hey, these are mine.”
“Well, yeah,” Mary said. “I wasn’t going to hack the leg off my pants.”
“Where did you get these?”
“Same place I got your dog.”
Ellis frowned. “That reminds me, where is my dog?”
“In Natalie’s room with her. The last time I checked, they were watching Little House on the Prairie on TV Land.”
Ellis stared at Mary. “You’ve got some serious explaining to do, Ms. Moss.”
“Surely you can’t object to your dog seeing a wholesome program like Little House. Besides, I thought you were a big Michael Landon fan, given our discussions about the Ponderosa earlier today.”
“Yuk, yuk, yuk.” Ellis made a show of holding her sides, as though she were laughing hard. “What I meant is my dog is here, my clothes are here, and when your child isn’t keeping watch over me, she’s entertaining my dog. I’m wondering if I’ve been abducted.”
Mary offered a nefarious chortle. “So, my little pretty, you’ve seen through my ruse.” She rubbed her hands together. “When I return you to your planet, you will remember nothing of your time here on this moss-covered orb.” She cackled like the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz.
“Moss-covered. I get it. You’re a laugh riot.” Ellis tried to hide her smile, but failed. “I hate to sound coy, but how about helping me camouflage my half-naked state?” She leaned over and retrieved her crutches. “Whooo. I think I’d better eat soon. I’m feeling a little woozy.”
Mary stooped down and undid the Velcro bands on the cast and gently removed it. “How appropriate. Quite a rainbow of colors you’ve got going here.”
Ellis looked down at the bruises shining on her ankle. “I’m just a slave to queer fashion.”
Mary eased the jeans from around Ellis’s ankles and then held the sweatpants so Ellis could slip her feet into the leg holes. “Stand up and I’ll pull these up for you.”
After they got Ellis decked out in her sweatpants, they made their way back to the living room, Ellis gimping along on her crutches and Mary carrying the soft cast.
“Sit on the sofa and use the ottoman for your foot.” Mary set the cast aside and moved the hassock into place. She propped Ellis’s swollen foot up on some pillows, then covered it with a light blanket. “I’ll be right back with ice, eats, and something to take your pills with.”
Ellis let her head flop onto the back of the sofa. She was so light-headed she wondered if she was really sitting in Mary Moss’s living room, or if she was having some kind of psychedelic mind trip.
Mary came back with her arms loaded. “Eat this.” She handed Ellis a peeled banana. “You need to boost your blood sugar.” She set a plastic container filled with raisins, a zip-top baggie with orange segments, and a bottle of water beside Ellis on the sofa. “And these, too. I’ll bring your soup and sandwich in a minute.” From under her arm, she took an ice pack wrapped in a towel and rolled it back and forth between her hands.
Ellis devoured the banana and started on the orange. She saw the worried look on Mary’s face. “I’m okay. Really.”
“And I’m Empress of all the Russians.” Mary looked on while Ellis ate her fruit. “That’s better,” Mary said. “You’re getting some color back in your face. You were looking kind of gray for a minute there.”
“I’m feeling lots better.” Ellis grabbed a handful of raisins. “Better, that is, if you discount the gang war going on in my right foot.”
“Now that you’ve got something in your stomach to cushion it, go ahead and take your meds.” Mary fished two pills out of the patch pocket on her shirt and dropped them into Ellis’s hand. Ellis chased them down with three huge gulps from the bottle of water.
“I don’t know how I’m going to repay you for everything you’ve done for me today, Mary.” Ellis tipped the bottle toward Mary in a mock toast. “Cheers.”
“I’m sure we’ll think of something.” She placed the bag of ice carefully on Ellis’s ankle. “At a minimum, you’ll owe me a reciprocal home-cooked gourmet meal.”
“I’m sure the Kraft cheese and Campbell soup people would be pleased to hear their products described that way.” Ellis shifted her leg on the ottoman. “Not that I’ve seen anything approximating a bowl of soup and a cheese sandwich, mind you.”
Mary lightly cuffed Ellis’s good knee. “Pushy broad.”
Ellis saw the twinkle in Mary’s eyes as she departed for the kitchen.
“Better a pushy broad than a soup tease,” Ellis called out as she helped herself to more raisins.
∗ ∗ ∗ ∗
Ellis used the last bite of crust from her grilled cheese sandwich to sop the final bit of soup from her bowl. “Exquisite. My compliments to the chef.” She smacked her lips loudly.
“Good thing Natalie’s still in her room. We’ve been working on her table
manners. I can see you’re not going to be a good influence.” From her spot on the far end of the sofa, Mary reached the length of it and pulled Ellis’s plate and bowl closer and stacked them with her own.
Ellis wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Speaking of… shouldn’t she have had something to eat, too?”
“She ate hours ago. Right after she fed and walked the dog, in fact.”
Ellis turned to look at Mary. “Your daughter walked my dog?”
“It’s not exactly rocket science. Most any nine-year-old can do it.” Mary pointed to the crutches resting between them against the front edge of the sofa. “Somehow, I don’t think it would be a pretty picture to see you out there on those and trying to keep Sam in check when she catches sight of a squirrel.”
“Natalie’s only nine? I’d have guessed her to be older. She’s so tall.”
“Takes after her mother. And she’s just barely nine. Her birthday was the tenth of this month.” Mary stretched, her arms extended over her head and her legs flexed out full length. “Time to let your foot thaw out and get your cast back on.” Leaning over, she lifted the towel and ice pack from Ellis’s ankle. Mary helped Ellis get the cast back in place and fasten the hooks and loops. “How are you feeling?” she asked as she plumped the pillow and wedged it under Ellis’s lower leg.
“Good.” Ellis smiled broadly. “I’m fed, I apparently have a dedicated nurse, my dog has a full-time caretaker, and the drugs have beaten the screaming match in my ankle down to a dull roar. Who could ask for more?”
“Don’t express that thought in front of Natalie. She’s got a long list she’d happily recite for you.”
As if on cue, Natalie came up the hallway and into the living room and stood behind the sofa. “For one thing, I’d ask for a little sister. I’ve been telling Mom I want one for years, but I still haven’t gotten her.”
Mary reached out and tugged affectionately on Natalie’s hair. “Aren’t you supposed to be reading your library book?”
“Uh-huh, I was, but I think Sammy wants to go outside, so I came to ask you if I should take her for a walk again.”
“It’s dark out, sweetie. Just put her in the backyard.” Mary gave Ellis a quick look. “It’s fenced. She’ll be fine.”
Natalie raced down the hall, calling as she went. “C’mon, Sam. We’re going out back.”
Ellis applauded twice very quietly. “Nice sidestep on the baby sister issue.”
“Thanks. One of the great things about talking to a nine-year-old is that conversation topics can change in half a sentence.”
“So I noticed.” Ellis mustered her courage. “So what about Natalie’s father?”
“Nathan?”
“If you say so…”
Mary pressed her hand against Ellis’s forearm. “Wait a sec. Big ears coming into range.”
Natalie, with Sam in tow on her leash, clomped back into the room. Sam took one look at Ellis on their way to the kitchen, offered a single “woof,” and trotted to the back door with Natalie.
“Don’t forget to turn the lights on out there, Nat.”
“Oh, Mom.” Natalie flipped the switch and exited to the yard.
“It would appear I’ve been replaced,” Ellis said with a sigh. “Fickle dog.”
“Look at it from Sam’s perspective. If you had a choice between a whirling dervish who’ll chase you around the yard for twenty minutes or a cripple on a crutch who’ll keep telling you to hurry up and do your business, which would you pick?”
“Point, set, and match, to Natalie Moss.”
“Natalie Kimbrough.”
“She doesn’t have your last name?”
“No, she goes by her dad’s name. My ex-husband.”
“Nathan?”
“Nathan.” Mary rose, dragged the glider rocker halfway across the room, and placed it at a right angle to the sofa so they could talk more comfortably. “Nathan Kimbrough, who, by the way, trimmed those bushes for you at Fredrick’s house this afternoon.”
“Sheesh. I forgot all about that. I must be losing my mind.” Ellis rubbed both temples.
Mary sat in the glider. “Or under the influence of strong drugs and recovering from a nasty fall.”
“Still, you’d think I could remember that I’m a landscaper.” Ellis rapped the crown of her head. “Hello? Anybody home?”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Even if you’d remembered, you couldn’t have done anything about it today.”
Ellis raised her injured leg from the ottoman. “Blinding glimpse of the obvious. So your ex did the trimming. Wow. How’d you talk him into it?”
“Have you forgotten? I reign here on the moss-covered orb. All lesser beings, such as men, heed my every command.”
Ellis swiveled so that she could stretch out on the sofa. “Do you mind if I lie down? I’m getting a cramp in my back.”
“Go ahead. Here, I’ll stuff these pillows under your foot to keep it elevated.”
Ellis scooted up to brace her back against the arm of the sofa. “Is there anyone else in your family I’ll need to put on the payroll? So far I’ve got nurse Mary, Natalie the dog sitter, and Nathan the emergency shrub tender.”
Mary reclaimed her seat. “Swiffer would probably like honorable mention as bedside sentry.”
“Swiffer?”
“Natalie’s cat. Big gray and white fluffy creature. Looks kind of like a giant furniture duster. She was really giving you the hairy eyeball when I helped you in from your truck this afternoon.”
“Come to think of it, she was on the back of the sofa when I first woke up earlier. I haven’t seen her since she and Sam tore out of here like they had firecrackers up their butts. Probably a good thing I took Sam to obedience school, or we’d be looking for the both of them in the next county.”
“Nah, Swiffer would have put Sam in her place with one quick left hook. I have to say, though, Swiffer and Sam were pretty funny when they met this afternoon.” Mary laughed at the recollection.
“Which reminds me once again—there’s a whole chunk of this day that’s still a total mystery to me. Any chance you’d fill me in on what I missed?”
“For a fee.” Mary offered another of her mock-evil laughs.
“Like I have a choice. Name your price.”
“Geez, you’re easy.” Mary smiled warmly. “I like that.”
“As I said, what are my options? I can’t dash out the door, claim my dog, climb in my truck, and cruise on home. And let’s not forget, you’ve already seen me in my birthday suit.” Ellis gazed into Mary’s eyes.
“Just the bottom half.” She looked away, avoiding Ellis’s stare.
“And to think you accused me of being a pushy broad.”
“Maybe we’re a matched set.” Mary stole a glance at Ellis.
“Maybe. Now, tell me what happened this afternoon.”
“We left the hospital and came here. I got you situated on the sofa, which was a little like hauling a sack of potatoes around, but I managed.”
Mary smiled again, and the light in her eyes made Ellis’s heart catch in her chest.
“Okay, so I’m doing my tuber impersonation on this very sofa, and then?”
“Natalie was spending the day with Nathan, but I called him and explained about your accident and your fate-of-the-free-world shaggy shrub situation. He brought Natalie home, and then he went to Fredrick’s house.”
“I want to hear more about Nathan, but first I need to ask how he knew what house to go to.”
“When I was driving you to the hospital, I saw your appointment book and your address book in the console of your truck. One of the first things you told me this morning when we were stuck in the traffic backup was that the house you were trying to get to was on Ponderosa Lane. The appointment book said, ‘Fredrick. Holly bushes. A.M.’ I thumbed through your address book until I found a Fredrick Nyegard on Ponderosa.” Mary twirled her right hand in the air and then made a seated, half-bow from the waist. “Voilá.”
&nb
sp; Ellis whistled a two-note appreciation. “Does the CIA know about you? That was pretty clever.”
“Flatterer.”
“Merely the truth.” Ellis tipped her head in Mary’s direction. “So tell me the rest of it.”
“You’d given me your wallet to hold when they took you for x-rays at the emergency room. I knew you were too banged up to manage for yourself, and I didn’t know if you had anyone you could stay with, so I decided the easiest thing would be to bring you here, at least for tonight.”
Ellis tried to interrupt, but Mary kept talking.
“It was a simple matter to check your driver’s license for your address. I already had your keys, so when Nathan got back here after doing the bushes, I had him stay to keep an eye on Natalie and an ear out for you while I dropped off your prescriptions and ran to your place to get Sam and her dog food and pick up some clothes and your toothbrush.”
“But how did you know I had a dog named Sam?”
“You told me.”
“I did? When?”
“When you were talking in your sleep on the drive from the hospital.”
Ellis hesitated before replying. “Uh-oh,” she said quietly.
“Pardon?”
Ellis squirmed. “I’ve been told that I sometimes say some stupid things when I talk in my sleep.”
“Is that so? Told by whom?” Mary leaned forward in her seat.
“Never mind. That’s a topic for another time.” Ellis reached down and massaged her right leg just above the knee.
“I’ll remember that and hold you to it. Does your upper leg hurt?”
“A little. I don’t suppose bouncing it along LaVista Road did it any favors.”
“You’re right about that. My Xterra would probably say the same thing.”
Ellis slapped herself lightly on the cheek. “That’s something else I forgot all about—your SUV got hit because of me.”
“Not exactly. It got hit because I was trying to do two things at once, one of which was looking backwards and the other of which was driving forwards.”
Detours Page 3