by Brynna Curry
“Now that I think about it, there is a place nearby. It’s only been on the market a few months.” A sly look crossed Ma’s face. “No, never mind, it’s not the house for you, Ryan. I’ll ask around.”
“What kind of property is it?” He frowned and wondered what sort of game his mother, ever the matchmaker, was playing.
“It’s a three bedroom farmhouse about a twenty minute walk from here.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mary Katherine put her house up for sale just after her father died. She’s been having a rough go of it financially. He left a lot of debts when he passed, and I’m sure setting up the clinic drained her financially. Like I said, you probably wouldn’t be interested.”
“Kate’s house? Isn’t she still living there?”
“No. She keeps a small apartment at her clinic. It’s more than enough space for her and Allaina. Of course, I’m sure Kate likes to be on hand in case of emergencies. Believe me, there’s no love lost where he’s concerned, Ryan. It’s no secret she grew up hard. The way I heard it told, her father owed some dangerous people a lot of money. He’s dead, so they’re trying to bleed it out of Kate, but she doesn’t make much with the clinic, so she’s selling her mother’s old home place. I can tell she’s scared of something, but she isn’t talking about it with any of us, not even Liv. She’s probably afraid of worrying her.”
Ryan poured the coffee down the sink and rinsed out the cup, a habit he’d picked up in the states. “I think I’ll walk over and have a look at the property.”
“Are you sure? Dinner will be ready in an hour.”
“I’ll be back in time for supper, Ma.” He kissed her cheek.
“See that you are. And don’t forget your jacket. A storm is blowing in.”
He groaned inwardly. She was treating him like a child, but he grabbed his jacket off the peg by the door on his way out. Knowing Ma meant well and when he smelled the air, Ryan knew she was right. She also knew how to meddle. Suggesting Kate’s house to him, a place that would be perfect for his needs, and the one place he really didn’t want to go. I wonder how much trouble Kate is in. It isn’t my place to fix her problems. She doesn’t need me. Devin’s probably taken care of them already. Him and his mantra “I protect what is mine.” I think I liked him better when he was just a jewel thief with a few parlor tricks.
* * * *
Ryan surveyed the house from the front yard. It hadn’t changed all that much. Still the same wide porch that should have held a swing for warm evenings, same peeling white paint. Mick had never cared much for home improvements as long as a bottle of whiskey was nearby. Stepping onto the old farmhouse porch, Ryan knocked sharply on the door. He didn’t expect anyone to be around. That was fine by him. Kate had practically told him to go in and have a look when she was yelling at him on the beach. He jiggled the knob and it turned easily.
The house needed some cosmetic work inside, but the hardwood floor felt solid. Ryan wandered into the kitchen and called out a hello. No one answered. The kitchen was clean and the appliances, though obviously older, appeared new. He wondered if the roof might leak when it rained and made a note to get Skye to have a look at it. He wandered around through the rooms. Most were unkempt but clean. He turned down the hallway and followed it to the back bedroom. Kate’s old room. He’d never actually seen the inside before, not with the way Mick had despised him. The walls were papered with a rosebud design. The floor had been sanded and stained dark in contrast to the feminine decorations. When had she done this? As a young woman? No, it would have been recently.
Still, it wasn’t quite finished. Bottles and pictures sat on the scarred dresser. A lone worn teddy bear lay in the rocking chair. Where the rest of the house was desolate, someone had tried to love this part of it. Her words came back to him as he stood there. The truth could be found here, if he had the courage to seek it. Did he?
It had been so long since he’d wanted to use the gift, he wasn’t sure if he could. He’d been paying close attention to Devin when he had cast those spells in front of him at the Smithsonian Institute when Devin had stolen the Hope Diamond. Ryan knelt by the bed and laid his hand on the pillow. He wrote music once and wasn’t a lyric a kind of spell to the listener? How hard could it be?
“Heart is mind. Mind is heart. Sight unseen knows not time. Pain lingers and stains the soul. Show all, so body can heal what my sight does reveal. As I will, so mote it be.” Okay, so he officially sucked at writing spells, but the heart of it was there. Ryan held his mind steady and opened his heart. He hadn’t tried to heal in so long, the pain was too intense for his body to bear. Glad he was already on the floor, Ryan’s stomach wrenched as he was taken back.
Kate heard glass shattering as soon as her feet struck the porch. Daddy must be drunk again. Not much longer and she could get away from him. She had to.
“Where the hell have you been, cailin? Out whoring again with that Corrigan man when you should be in the kitchen fixing supper. Corrigan’s a sorry piece of crap. Ain’t worth nothing. I work all day and can’t even come home to a hot meal, stupid bitch.” He slung another bottle against the wall. It missed her head by a few inches.
She should just run off and let him rant until he passed out, but she couldn’t, not this time. She had to gather the courage to leave home. Kate touched a hand to her belly. This time she had something to protect.
Inside the memory, Ryan felt the glow of love Kate had for their child. He’d been wrong. How could he have been so stupid? He could feel how terrified she was as well, not for herself but for the baby. Anger welled up inside him.
Kate stood her ground. “Yes, I’ve been with him. I love Ryan, Daddy. I’m going to marry him and then you won’t have to deal with this stupid bitch, anymore!” Kate stormed off to her room and started pulling open the dresser drawers. She’d gotten him riled, so leaving quickly was her only option. Maybe she could make it out the window before he caught her. She yanked the pillowcases off the bed and began to stuff them with clothes. She had one filled and tossed out the open window when he stumbled into the room.
“I told you never to call me that. I ain’t your daddy, girl.” He slapped her so hard she flew into the wall. Kate felt something flutter inside. She knew he would kill her this time. She instinctively placed a hand over her abdomen.
“Don’t hit me again, please.”
Something feral came into his expression as he came toward her.
“Breeding, are ya? I ain’t gonna have another mewling brat forced on me to raise. There’s ways to take care of that.” He balled up his fist.
Kate froze in place. She wanted to run, to scream, but fear had her paralyzed. She covered her stomach with her hands, but it wasn’t any use. The first blow landed true and his big ham-handed fists pummeled through her small hand, breaking bones as they went. The second punch snuffed out the precious life she carried.
Ryan screamed and jerked his hand away. He hurt from her pain and his own.
“I don’t want to see anymore. Please, no more.” Ryan cried out, but it was no use. He had opened the proverbial can of worms when he invoked a power he hadn’t used in so long. There was no stopping the vision now. He saw that day in perfect clarity, and his mind was his own enemy as he was forced to watch the defilement of his woman and the murder of his child.
Kate wailed a strange keening sound that was more animal than human. The physical pain was nothing compared to the sense of loss. Her baby was dying. She thought he would leave her there to bleed to death with the miscarriage, but Daddy was more evil that she could imagine.
“Quit whining, I did you a favor, no more brat. I’ll make sure of it, girl.” He slurred through a drunken haze and rotted teeth. “Show you what you were made for.” And ripped her rumpled shirt open.
Kate cringed in horror as she finally understood what he meant to do.
“Daddy, no.” She repeated it over and over while she tried to fight him off with a fractured hand.
“I ain’t your daddy, little bitch. I killed your daddy. Your lyin’ mama lay with another man to make you. Nothing but a whore, just like your mama. This is what you deserve, what you want.”
She punched and bit, kicked and screamed, cursed God and pleaded with him in the same breath, but her father raped her anyway, and destroyed any future chance she had of having children.
He saw Kate covered by her father’s body, and through the magic felt the scarring of her inner flesh as any future chance of her having children was destroyed. Kate cried out for his help, sobbed his name.
And he’d turned her away.
Chapter 6
Ryan stumbled out onto the front porch. He couldn’t breathe. His Kate, young beautiful, in love with him and with life, just the thought of what her father had done made him sick. Retching on the grass, his mind held those images of horror with a perverse vivid clarity. He hadn’t stopped Mick. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t known, only that she had needed him and he’d turned his back on her. He should have seen her pain and grief, but no, he’d turned inward and ran off to another country. What kind of man was he? Kate said she loved him. He didn’t deserve it from her or anyone. He’d been the betrayer all along. Another pain sliced into his stomach and this time he vomited on a pair of white canvas shoes.
“You’ll be cleaning those. They’re my favorite pair.”
Ryan looked up into green pixie eyes. A young girl stood before him, hands in the back pockets of her jeans, a cocky smile on her face. “You’re sick. You should sit. My mom’s a doctor.” With that, she ran off.
* * * *
“Mom.” Allie ran toward her mother at full speed. “Dad’s at the house, and he puked all over my shoes!”
“Allie! How do you know who he is? You’ve never seen your father.”
“Course I have.”
“When?”
“Just now.” Allie grabbed Kate’s hand and tugged. “Hurry, Mom.” Then she bolted toward the house, raven hair streaming behind her.
Mercy, does she have to run everywhere? Kate sprinted after her. Catching her breath as she rounded the bend into the yard, she saw a man sitting on the porch steps. Allie was right. He was indeed her father.
* * * *
He leaned against the porch post with his arms wrapped around his belly, but raised his head to look at the pixie child standing next to her mother.
“Mom.” She pointed a thumb at Kate.
“So you are Allaina. A pretty name for a beautiful little lady.” He didn’t know what to believe anymore. How could Kate have a daughter but be damaged by the rape? A quick calculation of Allaina’s age told him Kate must have gotten pregnant shortly after they broke off their relationship.
“Thank you. Here. This is for you.” The child cupped her hands in front of her chest and whispered under her breath. Her hands began to glow with a soft yellow light. Finally she opened her hands to reveal a tiny butterfly shape made of light.
“Wow. Devin said you were powerful. Just when I think I’ve seen it all. Thank you.” Ryan tried to pull himself up, but all he could manage was a crawl back up the steps. The little light butterfly flew from Allie’s hands and landed on his shoulder. He hurt inside, in places he didn’t have, but strangely the sensation was starting to ease. “I’ll be fine.”
Kate shook her head. “I’m seen my share of sick people, Ryan. There’s no need for embarrassment. Let’s get you inside.”
There was no way he was going back in that house right now. “No. I can’t go back in there. Not yet. It’s too much.” Tears welled up in his eyes.
“Okay. We don’t have to.” Kate spoke gently, as if she were talking to a child. “Allie, go inside and get me a wet washcloth.” She waited until the screen door smacked against the frame before turning back to Ryan. “Opened up a can of worms, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t expect the memories to be so–”
“They are. I remember how sick you’d be after healing.”
“I couldn’t get out of bed for two days after he broke your arm. Could barely hold a pen for a week.”
“You should have left it alone. Time would have healed me, but you transferred some of the pain into yourself.”
“Yes.”
The screen door creaked. Allaina appeared beside him with a cool cloth and a glass of water. The memory was beginning to wear off.
Kate sat beside him on the steps and handed him the glass.
“Here, you’ll feel better.” Kate dabbed at his forehead with the wet towel.
Allaina cleared her throat. “Mom.”
Kate dropped the towel into his hand. Ryan watched her cheeks flush as she realized what she’d done. He wasn’t hers anymore. “Allie, why don’t you walk on down the lane to Grams. I bet she has biscuits, and you can help with dinner.”
“Okay. Don’t be late. Grams hates that.”
Ryan waited in uncomfortable silence for Kate to say something. Anything.
“I’m sorry. I guess I forgot where I was, or rather when I was.”
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” Her touch of comfort had much more potent effect than Kate probably intended. “Do you want to talk about what happened in there?”
“Not yet. You have a beautiful child, Kate. I’m glad at least part of what I saw wasn’t true.” He reached out and took Kate’s hand in his, ran his fingers along the tiny path where the bones had fused back together. A startled sound left her lips at his touch. “Can I tell you something?”
“Yes.”
“I’m happy you have her, but I hate the thought of another man giving you a child.”
“Ryan.”
“Let me finish. I hate what your father did to you. Most of all, I hate myself for what I did to you.”
“It isn’t your fault. The past can’t be changed.”
“Will you forgive me? Can you?”
“I never blamed you. I was angry for a long time. Hurt. When I found the courage to let the pain go, I realized I would always have love for you. The vision you saw was true, Ryan. I’m damaged inside. I’ll never have any more children.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Allaina is special, unusually strong, but I guess you already saw that. I have my daughter because she survived the rape.”
“What are you saying?”
“When I was able to leave, I went on to university, but I could barely keep up with my schoolwork. I’d never felt so sick in my life. I was so depressed, no hope, no heart, grieving over you and the baby. I cut myself off from everyone, even Liv. One morning I woke and looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t go on living the way I’d been and I didn’t want to, Ryan. I wanted to die. I had a handful of sleeping pills the doctor had prescribed for insomnia.”
“Kate.”
She placed her other hand over his. “I was going to end it all, but then I felt a flutter in my stomach, barely. I didn’t know what to think. I skipped classes that day and went to my doctor. He confirmed I was pregnant, several months pregnant. I had miscarried our baby, but the doctor said there had been two. I was terrified of the effect the sleeping medication I’d been taking might have had on her, but you can see she’s perfect, most often a smart alec, but perfect.”
Then Allie had to be his child. Why hadn’t he seen it before? She has my eyes, Dad’s dark hair. He felt a grin begin to spread across his face.
“She’s mine?”
“Yes.”
“You should have told me.”
“How could I? You called me a murdering bitch. You ignored my calls, letters and any attempt to tell you through your family. So, by your choice you find out like this.”
“If I had known, I would have come back. I want to know my daughter.” A shiver ran down his spine. My daughter. I have a daughter. Kate and I have a daughter. The words repeated over and over through his mind. “Please. Don’t keep her from me.”
“I couldn’t if I tried. Allie’s been trying to get me to show up on yo
ur doorstep since she was five. So, what do we do now? We both made mistakes, Ryan. We can start with friends.”
Ryan shrugged. The pain he’d felt earlier was only a ghost now. He didn’t have the answers any more than Kate did, but he still held her hand. He wanted to kiss her, take her in his arms and carry her into the house. He wanted to make love to her in her old room and wash away the destruction with fresh memories, but he didn’t have the right to hold her anymore. Just like Devin had implied, she might have a lover.
“I don’t know, but for starters I want to buy this house.”
* * * *
The complete flip in conversation caught Kate off guard. “What?”
“That’s why I came here. I wanted to look at the house. I need my own space, and this house needs healing. I can make this place something good. Maybe when I’m finished, you’ll allow Allaina to visit.”
“Okay. I’ll contact the realtor first thing tomorrow. You do realize Allie will probably drive you crazy now that she knows you are here.”
“I want to know everything about her. When is her birthday?”
“The same day as yours.”
“Wow. I guess I have a lot of surprises in store. Had dinner yet? Ma’s cooking stew, but then I guess that’s where you were headed.”
“Yes. Allie will be there by now, probably creating scandalous tales of her parents stealing kisses on the porch steps after years of pining for each other.”
“Walk with me?”
“I’d like that.”
Standing abruptly, still holding her hand, Ryan pulled Kate to her feet. She stumbled and fell against his chest. Ryan caught her.
“Sorry. Sorry, I’m such a klutz.”
Ryan’s eyes darkened to a mossy shade of green.
His hands slid to the small of her back and pressed her against him even closer. His gaze lowered to her mouth.