"What? Come on, Rebecca, you can't say that and then not tell me."
Rebecca pulled a face and chewed on a fingernail. "Datt was going to tell you when the time was right, but, but…" Rebecca took one look at Hannah's face and then continued. "They already know."
"They already know that Noah Hostetler and his family are visiting you?"
Rebecca nodded.
"They do?" Hannah was puzzled. She figured her daed would likely be fine with it, but certainly not their mudder. Just the mention of the name Hostetler was enough to cause their mudder to go into a pot banging outburst. Hannah looked at Rebecca and saw that she was still chewing a fingernail. "There's more, isn’t there?"
Rebecca nodded. "I wasn't supposed to say. Don’t be angry, Hannah, but Noah is working for Datt."
"Working for Datt?" Hannah repeated. "Whatever do you mean?"
"He's working for Daed in his furniture store, as a furniture maker."
"Noah Hostettler is making furniture for our daed?" Hannah clenched her fists to try to stop the lightheaded sensation that was overtaking her. "But, if he's making furniture rather than selling it in the store, that means he's making at in Daed's workshop, at home, near our haus."
Hannah stood up and hobbled to the window on her crutches. She looked down at people scurrying this way and that, as if they didn’t have a care in the world. "This means Noah's been there when I've been at home and no one told me," she said aloud, but to herself.
"Come and sit down, Hannah. Datt was waiting for the right time to tell you," Rebecca said again.
How could he? How could my own daed keep that from me? she wondered. Noah Hostetler, the very one who caused all of us to have injuries for many weeks, and Datt not only forgives him, he gives him a job. Hannah's whole face was burning; even her ears felt as though they were on fire.
"Gott wants us to forgive," Rebecca pressed, but Hannah was in a daze.
Rebecca raised her voice slightly. "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven."
Hannah gasped. "Rebecca! You must not do that; people will call you Scripture smart." Hannah felt a pang of sympathy when she looked at Rebecca's fallen face. "Anyway, you sound like Daed," she added in a teasing voice.
Rebecca brightened up.
* * *
Hannah had the taxi stop at her daed's workshop rather than at the haus as usual. She had not been to the workshop since her accident. The bishop had long ago given Mr. Miller permission to have electricity in his workshop as well as a computer and a phone, due to the fact that the woodworking business was the Millers' sole source of income. Mr. Miller had purchased the small property from Englischers after he decided to sell his farm and go into the woodworking business, and while all electrical lines had been pulled out of the haus and the barn, electrical lines were allowed to remain to the big building which Mr. Miller was to use as his workshop.
Hannah hobbled to the workshop wondering why she had never seen someone else's buggy at the workshop, but then realized that Noah would have unhitched his horse and left him in the barn with the buggy out the back.
Hannah struggled to push the door open and then made her way inside slowly. Both her daed and Noah saw her at the same time. She would have laughed at the shocked and stricken expressions on their faces if this hadn't been such a serious matter: after all, her father had betrayed her by keeping the matter from her.
"Datt, can I speak to you for a moment, please?'
Her father hurried over. "Are your sisters all right? Is anything wrong?"
"Nee, they’re fine; I just want to talk to you."
Mr. Miller nodded to Noah to continue, and Noah went to the back of the workshop and turned on a noisy piece of equipment, presumably to give Hannah and her daed an opportunity to speak without being overhead.
"Datt, I heard that Noah is working for you, and has been for some time."
"Jah, that's right, he has. I didn't want to tell you until the time was right."
Hannah studied her daed's face. He didn’t look remorseful or embarrassed at all. "But what right time? When would that time be?"
Mr. Miller patted her hand. "I was going to tell you when you had forgiven Noah."
"Forgiven!" Hannah said the word loudly and then looked up at Noah, but was sure he hadn't heard her over the noise of the loud equipment.
"Jah. Hannah, you know that Gott wants you to forgive; you must. Why do you hold such hatred in your heart?"
Tears pricked the corner of Hannah's eyes. "I don’t hate Noah. But how can I forgive him after what he did to me? To my schweschders? How can you forgive him, Datt?"
"I forgave him through the Grace of Gott, and so must you, dochder."
Tears were falling from Hannah's eyes now. "But how?"
"Ask Gott to help you, child. Many things we cannot do on our own strength, so we have to rest on the strength of Gott. Would you like to speak to the bishop?"
"Nee, Datt!" Hannah struggled to her feet. Why did her daed have to bring the bishop into it? Anyone would think that Hannah had committed a sin, when she was the victim. Well, unforgiveness was a sin, she knew that, but how could she forgive? And she had expected her father to be remorseful and apologetic, but instead, he had lectured her.
"I'll go and help Mamm with dinner now, Datt."
As Hannah made her way to the door, her daed called out after her, "Tell your mudder that Noah will be coming for dinner tonight."
Hannah froze in her tracks. Things were going from bad to worse. It was like a nightmare and she was unable to wake up.
* * *
Noah had been shocked to see Hannah come through the door to the workshop, demanding to speak to her daed. He figured that Hannah must have just found out that he was working for him. She sure did not look pleased about it. And even worse, Mr. Miller had informed Noah that he was to come to dinner. It had been a summons rather than an invitation.
It was bad enough that Noah would have to sit at the same table with Mrs. Miller, who he had no doubt would be shooting angry glances and perhaps even words his way, but he couldn’t bear to see Hannah's accusing eyes on him all the time, not when he harbored such deep feelings for her as he did.
Noah walked outside the workshop and over to Rock. He climbed through the rails to straighten Rock's winter blanket. "Why do you always need your blanket straightened, Rock?" he asked the horse as he gave him a handful of oats. "Is it because you know that I’ll give you a handful of oats when I fix it?"
Noah rubbed Rock's face. "I'm sorry, old boy. It's all my fault you’re like this. I bet you're missing all the attention of being a buggy horse and going out visiting. It's all my fault."
Psalm 34:11.
Come, O children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Chapter 8 .
Hannah stood outside the workshop, her face to the sky. The snowflakes drifted through the icy air and settled on her face. Noah Hostetler was working for her daed. How could this be so? She shook her head, scattering the snowflakes.
It was one thing to have to sit through a whole dinner with Noah, but worse still, she would have to be the one to tell her mudder that he would be coming for dinner.
Hannah was annoyed with her daed for forgiving Noah, and knew that her mudder felt the same way. Her mudder would be upset that Mr. Miller had invited Noah for dinner, and Hannah was sure that her mudder did not approve of the fact that Noah had been working for her daed. That was obviously what their recent conversation had been about.
The cold drove Hannah on toward the haus, so she made her way carefully, reluctant to face her mudder. When Hannah told her that Noah was coming for dinner, her mudder simply said with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, "So you know he's been working for your daed?"
Hannah nodded.
Her mudder thumped around the kitchen, muttering to herself, and banging pots and pans as Hannah had no doubt that she would. Ha
nnah rested her crutches against the wall and balanced herself on her plaster cast, and then busied herself mashing the potatoes. Her mudder was still muttering as Hannah added cream cheese to the mashed potatoes, mashed again, and then added butter and sour cream. As she stirred, she remembered the times that she thought she would one day be cooking for Noah, as his fraa.
"Hmmpf!" she said aloud, drawing her mudder's attention.
"Is your leg hurting, Hannah?"
"Nee, Mamm." Hannah was embarrassed that she'd let her feelings show to the extent of speaking, or rather, snorting loudly. She had better not speak her thoughts out aloud tonight over the dinner table with Noah there.
Noah! Just the thought of his name made Hannah's knees go weak. Once she had been deeply in love with him, but now… Well, she didn't know what she felt any more. Perhaps old habits died hard. Perhaps what she still felt for Noah was just a habit. It couldn't be love, surely? Not after everything he had done to her and her familye. Hannah's eyes fell to her crutches, and set her shoulders square with resolve. I am not in love with Noah Hostetler, she told herself.
It seemed to Hannah that Noah came through the door looking quite wary. And so he should, with Mamm here, Hannah thought. Noah smiled at her and she smiled back automatically, but then she frowned. His smile always could light her up. And why did her heart flutter every time she saw him? Oh Gott, please help me not to be so conflicted, she said silently.
The familye and Noah all bowed their heads in silent prayer, and when Hannah opened her eyes, she could almost see the frost that had descended upon the table. It had nothing to do with the weather, and all to do with her mudder. Even the delightful aroma of chicken and gravy did nothing to lighten the atmosphere.
Mr. Miller did not seem to notice, and talked as he usually did. He spoke often to Noah, no doubt to put him at ease as Mrs. Miller was avoiding talking to him and often shot glares his way.
"How's Jacob?" Esther piped up.
Noah looked up, seemingly surprised that someone other than Mr. Miller had spoken to him. Hannah felt a momentary pang of sympathy for him.
"He's gut, denki. He's always asking after you. Please tell me exactly how you are so I can tell him."
Esther smiled widely. "My back's much better now. I'm sitting up for longer and longer and it doesn't hurt much at all now," she gushed. "Soon I’ll be around and about, helping Mamm again."
Hannah had suspected that Esther had always been sweet on Jacob, and clearly the accident hadn’t changed that. Oh well, he wasn’t the one who was driving, she thought. Esther can’t hold Jacob accountable for his bruder's sins.
Hannah saw Esther shoot a glance at their mudder. "It would be good if Jacob could visit," Esther added in a nervous voice.
"Esther!" Mrs. Miller's voice was loud and everyone turned to look at her, except for Mr. Miller.
"Jah, that's a gut idea." Mr. Miller's voice was firm.
Now everyone turned to look at Mr. Miller.
"A gut idea," he repeated, with slightly more emphasis. He ignored his fraa's glares and continued. "The girls must be bored with just lying around all day and unable to do their chores. Idle hands are no good." Their daed looked up. Hannah saw him look at their mudder's face and then look back to Noah.
Mrs. Miller cleared her throat. "Hannah."
Everyone looked at Mrs. Miller and then at Hannah.
"You know that Mary Knepp has taken ill?" Her voice was cold and a little cross.
Hannah wondered at the abrupt change of subject. "Jah, Mamm. How is she?"
"The doktor said it’s a case of the flu and that she has to rest up for a couple weeks."
Hannah made to murmur sympathetically, but her mudder cut her off.
"That means there's no one to teach the kinner at school."
Hannah was taken aback. "But Mamm, I can’t do that."
Mrs. Miller waved her hand through the air. "Nee, Hannah," she said sharply. "I don’t mean you should teach them."
Hannah breathed a sigh of relief, but wondered where this conversation was going.
"Beth Yoder will teach them until Mary's well again, but Beth has never taught kinner before, and she's asked for your help."
Aha, Hannah thought, Beth Yoder, David's mudder. This is all part of Mamm's matchmaking plot. Seems that Beth Yoder might be in it too. Her heart sank. It was bad enough that she had to deal with her feelings for Noah, whatever they were, but now she had to fend off the unpleasant David Yoder despite her own mudder, and now it seemed David's mother, Beth, as well, trying to get them together.
"Hannah?" Her mudder's tone was insistent.
"Oh sorry, Mamm." Hannah saw that everyone around the table was looking at her, particularly Noah who was staring, waiting for her response.
She licked her lips nervously. "Mamm, I can't, really. I visit Rebecca in the hospital every day, and do the chores here as much as I can, and I help Mrs. Hostetler in the store three mornings a week."
"I'm sure Mrs. Hostetler can do without you."
Mr. Miller interrupted. "Nee. Hannah is to continue to work for Mrs. Hostetler. It wouldn’t be right to abandon her like that."
Mrs. Miller looked down at the table. "Well then, Hannah, you can help Mrs. Yoder on the other two mornings."
Hannah looked at her daed, hoping he would protest, but he remained silent this time.
Mrs. Miller stood up to clear the dishes. "It will only be for a week or two before Mary is well again. You can start next week."
"Jah, Mamm," Hannah said meekly.
"Gut, Beth will be pleased. And I'm sure you're looking forward to seeing David at the Singing this Sunday night."
"David?" I really should think before I speak, Hannah thought, but what can I say to that without getting into trouble? Nothing, she decided, so said aloud, "Nee, Mamm, I am not."
Esther and Martha gasped at Hannah's boldness, but Hannah thought that her daed's eyes twinkled. Hannah felt Noah's eyes on her and looked up. He held her gaze until she looked away.
"Can I go to the Singing please, Mamm?"
Hannah shot Esther a grateful look. She knew Esther had no desire to go the Singing with her bad back, but was merely deflecting attention away from Hannah.
Mrs. Miller shook her head. "Not yet, Esther, but I'm sure you and Martha will be well enough to go soon enough."
Hannah was in two minds about the Singing. Noah and David would both be there. She couldn't shake the feeling that an awkward situation was looming.
* * *
Noah sighed long and deep to himself as he drove his buggy home in the dark. The dinner had been difficult and strained, and the worst thing of all was that Mrs. Miller was trying to set up his beloved Hannah with David Yoder. Hannah had not appeared keen on the idea, but was she only being coy? Noah had no way of knowing. Being so close to Hannah for an evening had made his heart ache more than ever.
2 Corinthians 6:17.
Therefore go out from their midst,
and be separate from them, says the Lord,
and touch no unclean thing;
then I will welcome you.
Chapter 9 .
That day, the church and the Singing were to be held in the Lapps' barn. The community held both in the Lapps' barn when it was their turn to have church and the Singing, as their haus was very small and could not accommodate the community, whereas their barn was quite large. Unlike most Amish homes which had been built to hold large groups of people, theirs was a tiny Grossdawdi House which the Lapps' only son had purchased, along with his own adjoining haus, from Englischers some years ago. When their son had been tragically killed in a buggy accident, the Lapps had sold off his home but kept its parcel of land with the barn.
"I wish I could come too," Martha lamented over breakfast that morning.
"Me too." Esther pushed a bit of cornmeal around with her spoon in her scrapple.
Hannah felt sorry for them. "You'll both soon be coming, too. In fact, you'll be wishing you hadn't when you have
to sit through one of Mr. Petersheim's long sermons on hell," she added, hoping that Mr. Petersheim wouldn’t be one of the ministers speaking that day.
Esther and Martha laughed while their mudder frowned and opened her mouth to rebuke Hannah. "Hannah!" she said. "That's enough!"
Later, in the church service, Hannah tried to keep her balance on the backless, wooden bench with her leg in its cast stuck out in front of her, listening to none other than Mr. Petersheim giving a lengthy sermon in a monotone voice. He was preaching on hochmut, pride, this time, but he had gone on for an hour longer than any other minister usually did. This was supposed to be the "short" sermon too; it would be followed by a "long" one. Hannah felt that Gott was punishing her for being so disrespectful earlier.
Hannah looked around the barn. Nothing's changed, she thought. It all looks the same. Last time she was in this barn was a year ago, months before the accident. If only she'd known then what would happen to her. Hannah shook her head in an attempt to clear it of such fanciful thoughts.
Hannah looked at Mr. Petersheim but he was still walking around and speaking about hell in a loud voice. She looked back at the barn. It would be hard to keep such a large place clean, she thought idly, since the Lapps don't use it for farming. Hannah looked up at the beams way above her head.
Hannah's thoughts drifted to Noah. He had nodded and smiled to her when she arrived, and she had nodded back politely. Why did her mouth run dry every time she saw Noah? Why did she long to run and throw herself into his arms, those big strong arms? With his arms around her, she was sure she would feel safe. Hannah shook her head. Have I gone mad? The reason I feel bad in the first place is all because of Noah.
She sneaked a glance at Noah who was sitting on the other side of the room with all the other single men, but David happened to look up at that point and caught her eye. He smiled broadly and winked at her.
Nee, now David will think I'm interested in him, she thought with dismay. This must be Gott's way of telling me to concentrate on the message that the minister's bringing us today. Hannah turned her mind back to the sermon, and tried to concentrate as best she could.
The Amish Millers Get Married BOXED SET Books 1-3 (Amish Romance Book Bundle: The Way Home, The Way Forward, The Narrow Way) (Boxed Set: Amish Millers Get Married) Page 4