by Cher Etan
Christine wanted to run at him, maybe jump on him and bash his head in. she whirled on her mother.
“This is the trash you call a husband? This?” she screeched.
“Hey, you shut your disrespectful mouth bitch,” Kevin growled.
Cordelia took the two steps that would bring her to the couch and bitch slapped Kevin so hard there was a hand print left on his light skin cheek. “Don’t call my daughter that,” she said and then looked extremely surprised at herself. Not as surprised as Christine though.
“Bitch what did you just do?” Kevin snapped holding his cheek and glaring up at Cordelia.
“She just bitch slapped you,” Christine said helpfully. “Call Mr. Cosby right now and call this deal off before I sic my grandmother on you…bitch.”
Kevin sneered still holding his cheek. “And how you gonna make me?”
Christine marched to the table snatched his phone off it and handed it to him. “Kevin, you do not want to know,” she said coldly.
Kevin stared at her then at Cordelia standing next to her and then at his phone. He snatched it up resentfully and dialed the lawyer’s number telling him to back off as he was no longer interested in the deal.
“Wonderful,” Christine said extracting a paper from her pocket. “Now I’m gonna need you to sign this,” she said.
“What is it?” Kevin asked suspiciously.
“It’s a non-disclosure agreement that forbids you from selling this story to anyone or else you’re liable to pay a lot of money.”
“I ain’t signin that shit,” he said grumpily.
“There’s fifty thousand dollars in it if you sign now. Offer expires in three minutes. Take it or leave it,” Christine growled.
Kevin glared back at her for a few seconds before he snatched up the paper and snapped at Cordelia to hand him a pen. Cordelia glared back at him and then handed him the pen to sign.
“You got one of those for me?” she asked Christine.
“Oh, you afraid he won’t share the fifty k with you?”
“I don’t want the money, I want to sign the agreement; so you know that I won’t snitch on you.”
“Oh, you suddenly grew a pair did you?”
“Maybe,” Cordelia said looking her in the eye. “Believe it or not, the fact that you’re my daughter means something to me.” Christine cast an eloquent glance at Kevin and then extracted another sheet of paper from her pocket.
“Sign,” she said. “There’s 50k for you too if you do.”
Cordelia nodded and took the paper. She signed it and handed it back, taking the check that Christine gave her in exchange although she did manage to look shamefaced about it.
“This is my new start Chrissy. I promise,” she said.
Christine just snorted. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” she said snatching up Kevin’s form and twirling on her heel to leave. She slammed Kevin’s check on the table and walked out.
As soon as she reached the car she fished out her phone to call Clarence.
“It's done,” she said.
“Wonderful.”
“I’ll drop them off at the hospital in the morning; you can pick them up from there.”
“That is great. I was sort of hoping you’d manage to pass by the hospital this evening. Max was rather pissed off that you had to leave so soon. He blamed me.”
“Aww, poor baby,” Christine teased.
“So you’ll go?”
“I guess. I haven’t had dinner yet; we could eat together.”
“Aww how romantic.”
“Please. Romance has nothing to do with it. It's called hunger.”
“Uh huh…” Clarence said. “Well, goodnight and thank you.”
“Goodnight and thank you too.”
*****
Christine ordered off the McDonald’s menu before going to the hospital. Max was still up, waiting for her it looked like. She unpacked her bags; there were burgers, fries and chicken nuggets as well as salad, fish fingers and two milkshakes.
“Mmmm…smells good,” he said.
“I know right. I could eat a horse right now so I hope you’re not too hungry. Most of this is mine.”
Max laughed, “I think I could live on one pack of fries, and maybe one burger?”
Christine shrugged begrudgingly. “Only if you must,” she said handing them over. She sat down in the…new chair; a plush original leather confection that cradled her ass like it was her mother.
“Mmm, love the new furniture,” she said.
“I had that brought just for you,” he said biting into his burger.
“You are a king among men,” she said leaning back and popping fries into her mouth.
“So while I have you here…” he said.
“Uh oh,” Christine cut in.
Max glared at her. “Can I finish my sentence?”
“Sure go ahead,” she said magnanimously.
“Okay, as I was saying we never talked about…you know; what happened the other night.”
“What happened the other night? A lot of things have been happening, a lot of the time at night so…I’m gonna need specifics.”
“The night when we…had sex?”
“Oh that night?”
“Yes, that night.”
“What would you like to know?”
“Nothing really. I just wanted to check in with you; how are you feeling about it; would you like a repeat…?”
Christine laughed. “Do you really think you’re in any condition to have this conversation?”
“Hey, the spirit is always willing.”
“Cool. Well when the flesh catches up we can talk about it again.”
“But you’d like to talk about it right?” he persisted.
“Sure.”
“Okay good, which brings us to our second order of business.”
“Which would be what?”
“Marriage,” he said.
“I thought we already had that conversation.”
“Yes. But with the complications of maman coming back and trying to muscle her way into a power of attorney I need more security because she’s right; something could happen to me. So I think we should get the formalities done with.”
“By the formalities you mean the wedding?”
“Yes,” Max said.
“How are marriage of conveniences carried out then?”
“I was thinking about getting a judge in here; maybe tomorrow?”
“Wow, that fast?”
“Unless you have a better idea,” Max said.
Christine snorted, thinking about her first almost wedding. She’d had this long white dress and the cathedral where they were supposed to wed was decked with flowers and balloons and streamers. The church was full of all their friends and relatives. And then Rudy had walked away from her like she meant nothing. This was probably a better idea.
“Whose gonna be a witness?” she asked.
Max shrugged. “Well Clarence will obviously be here…and I thought…Martha?”
“Sadie, Aisha and Angela will kill me if they’re not present.”
Max shrugged, “So invite them.”
“Uncle Andrew and Carl and grandma Misha too?”
“If you want.”
“Yeah I think that’s my invitation list.”
“Your mother?” Max asked.
Christine shrugged. “I think I’ll give her a miss for now,” she said with a grimace.
Max laughed. “It's funny that both our mothers will not be present at our nuptials.”
“Funny haha? Or funny weird?”
“Both?”
“Yeah. I guess. Anyway so it's decided.”
“Yes it is. Great. Tomorrow, you’re officially Mrs. Max Lestrange.”
“Awkward…” Christine said. “Did I not tell you I’m keeping my maiden name?”
Max laughed in delight.
*****
“You have to at least have a new dress!” Martha protested when Christine g
ave her the news later that evening.
“Fine, I’ll stop off at my lunch time and pick something up.”
“You’ll stop off at lunch time and pick something up? I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
Christine laughed. “I’m the one who is disillusioned by the trappings of weddings. Besides this is a marriage of convenience gra; it's better not to get things confused.”
“Are you telling me or yourself?”
“Both of us?”
“Fine but you’re not picking just any dress up for your wedding, I don’t care what kind of marriage you think you’re going to have. I have just the dress for you.”
“Oh? You’ve been hoarding a wedding dress just for me?”
“Actually, it was my wedding dress.”
“What?” Christine looked down at her grandmother’s substantial bust and then down at her own more modest one.
Her grandmother inclined her head and smiled wryly. “I wasn’t always this big you know. In fact you and I were of a size when I was your age.”
“Hah, you’re right I forgot the picture you have hanging on the wall at home of you and grandpa. You were banging.”
Martha glared at her.
“Not that you’re not still banging or anything. Just in a different way.”
“Wonderful. Now that we’ve got that sorted, you can come home with me and try it on. If there is any adjustment to be done, I’ll do it by tomorrow evening.”
“Okay,” Christine said wondering if she was going to be wearing some funky fifties dress to her wedding. But she trusted her grandmother; if the dress was unsuitable she wouldn’t have offered it.
“Okay then, let’s go. I’d like to get some sleep. I have a feeling it's going to be a long day tomorrow.”
Martha picked up her handbag and they walked to the door. “You can’t take a day off?” she asked.
“No. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Besides my shift ends at 3pm tomorrow. Plenty of time to change and get to the hospital by 5pm for the ceremony.”
Martha laughed. “I’m pretty sure Sadie and Aisha would not agree with you. And Angela would fuss about your hair.”
“I’ve texted her already so she’s ready for me at 3 on the dot. We’re all meeting at the salon and then heading to the hospital from there. Since Max has booked the rooms on both sides of him for privacy we have plenty of space to pretty up and what not.”
“Good. I’ll meet you there with your grandma and your uncles.”
“Wonderful.”
“Is Claire Lestrange coming?” Martha asked.
“Max said no.”
“That is great…unfortunate; but great.”
“Yes,” Christine agreed.
*****
Grandma’s wedding dress was a wide pleated 1950s skirt with a v-necked strapless top covered by a small matching jacket. The dress was made to be worn with layers of petticoats to give lift and reached just to mid-calf. It was a lovely off white color embossed with roses in the design. Its petticoats were several layers of net and starched for extra stiffness. The dress was in remarkably good repair, in fact it was very well kept. Christine had just exactly the right strapless heels to go with it. She’d been waiting for an occasion to wear them and here it was. The waist was covered with a huge emerald green sash which tied just below her breasts and therefore created no pressure on her blooming waistline. It was perfect.
“I love it grandma. You are a genius.”
“I’ve been saying so for years haven’t I?” she said with a grin.
“Yes you have. And now can we please get some rest?”
“Yes of course. Goodnight baby.”
“Goodnight gra.”
*****
“We are gathered here to unite these two hearts in the bonds of matrimony which is an honorable estate. Into this, these two now come to be joined. If anyone present can show just and legal cause why they may not be joined, let them speak now or forever hold their peace,” the celebrant said.
It was too much like déjà vu. Christine tensed waiting for something to happen but everyone just stood around smiling at each other as Max sat on the bed holding her hand. The judge looked down at his book.
“Max Anthony Lestrange, will you have this woman as your lawful wedded partner, to live together in the estate of matrimony? Will you love her, honor her, comfort her, and keep her in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be true to her as long as you both shall live?” he asked.
“I will,” Max said with a smile and a squeeze of Christine’s hands.
“Christine Alexandre Richards, will you have this man as your lawful wedded partner, to live together in the estate of matrimony? Will you love him, honor him, comfort him, and keep him in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be true to him as long as you both shall live?” he asked.
“I will,” Christine replied with a curious sigh of relief. She was glad they’d managed to say their vows without…mishap.
“Do you have the rings?” the judge asked. Clarence came forward with a small black box and opened it. Two identical platinum rings inlaid with blue diamonds lay on the velvet pillow.
“Behold the symbol of wedlock. The perfect circle of love, the unbroken union of these souls united here today. May you both remain faithful to this symbol of true love. Please join hands and repeat after me,” the celebrant said.
“I, Max Anthony Lestrange do take you, Christine Alexandre Richards, as my wedded partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
The celebrant then turned to Christine and gestured to her to follow his lead.
“I, Christine Alexandre Richards, do take you, Max Anthony Lestrange, as my wedded partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
“For as much as Christine Alexandre Richards and Max Anthony Lestrange have consented together in wedlock, and have witnessed the same before this company of friends and family, and have given and pledged their promises to each other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving a ring, and by joining hands. By the authority vested in me by the State of Massachusetts, I pronounce this couple to be united in marriage. You may kiss,” the judge said with a pleased beam.
Max looked up at her and she looked down at him. They both burst out laughing and then Christine leaned down to peck him on the lips. When her lips touched his, he opened his mouth and let her in and what was meant to be a quick acknowledgment of the end of the ceremony became an experimental exploration with ‘to be continued’ in the subtext. Christine pulled away, cheeks hot, staring at no-one but Max as her family cat called and wolf whistled until a nurse came hurrying in exhorting them to keep it down. Christine found that she couldn’t stop looking at Max and he looked right back at her.
“Congratulations Mrs. Lestrange,” he said to her.
“Richards-Lestrange,” Christine corrected.
“Aha, so you will take my name?”
“It's only polite to hyphenate. Everyone knows that.”
Max laughed and laughed and laughed.
Andrea had been tasked with bringing in the champagne at this time and she did so, trying her best to look pleased. Everyone toasted save the bride and groom who were both off alcohol for health reasons.
Uncle Carl’s “roommate”, Sean, who was an amateur photographer took pictures and the celebrations might have continued well into the night if the nurse hadn’t come in after half an hour to shoo everyone away.
“We’re newly weds, you can’t make my wife go!” Max protested.
“Fine. The wife stays but everyone else needs to get out of here. There are other patients who need their rest.”
That was the cue for everyone to chorus their goodbyes and leave in an alcohol fueled haze of delight.
&n
bsp; “We’re so happy for you. Be happy,” Sadie whispered as she kissed Christine on the cheek before filing out with the rest. Christine waved at them as they left and then turned back to her new husband.
“Well…looks like it's just you and me kid,” she said.
Chapter 12
Christine got home the next day, still wearing her string of pearls and earrings that Max had presented her with just before their wedding. They were her something new. Her wedding dress had been her something old as well as something borrowed, and the blue diamonds on her wedding ring were her something blue. She looked at it, still unable to believe it was real. She was married. Her name was hyphenated. She could audition for real housewives of Massachusetts if she wanted; or Stepford wives or even first wives club…though she didn’t anticipate getting divorced. Maybe if Max fell in love with someone…Christine dismissed that thought because she didn’t want to think about it. He’d made a commitment and so had she. She knew they would both try their level best to keep it.
She opened the front door, accepting congratulations from the doorman on her nuptials. Max had said something about putting the announcement in the morning papers. She guessed it was done then. She went up to the apartment, contemplating the prospect of firing her grandmother. She really couldn’t visualize how her own grandmother was supposed to be her housekeeper. Max had said something about moving her to the office as head of housekeeping there and she hoped that was done because otherwise she couldn’t imagine how awkward things were going to be.
“Gra?” she called as she came in. There was no answer so she went to her room to get out of her jeans and shower. She took her time to luxuriate…as she lay back in the bathtub letting the bath salts tickle her skin and the scent of the candle permeate the room, she wondered if she should move in to Max’s room. She’d read a few romances in her day, some beginning with marriages of convenience. Most of those couples retained their own rooms. Most of those couples also were in the eighteenth century so really not the best guide…if one were being real, they had already had sex anyway so maybe Max was expecting…Christine found the whole thing extremely confusing. She emerged from her shower to see that she had three missed calls from an unknown number. Her mind jumped to the hospital and the possibility that something had happened to Max since she’d left him this morning. She quickly hit the call back button, breath suspended in fear.