by Tiana Laveen
Catching his reflection in the metal, he looked at what stress, time, and age had done to him. His light caramel skin looked dull, and the thick black eyebrows he had professionally waxed were framed with stress lines. His hazel eyes had lost their light. Stroking his black goatee, he gave himself another glance before tossing the damned thing to the side.
“Are you ready to go?” his driver asked.
“Did I fucking say I was ready to go?” he barked.
His driver didn’t respond with anything more than a sigh as they waited outside Vanessa’s apartment building at eleven at night. Parked out front was a limited-edition Ferrari 812 that had caught his eye.
“She usually goes out on Saturday nights. She hasn’t been answering my calls…” He cleared his throat. “She’s got me blocked on Facebook, Instagram, and everything, but for the past year, I had another profile—a fake one set up so I could keep tabs on ’er when I thought she was cheating. One day I woke up and realized I was unfriended from that one, too.”
“Are you talking to me, sir?”
“Is anybody else in this fucking car?! Yes! I’m talkin’ to you!”
“Well… was she cheating?”
He was quiet for a moment as he mulled the question over.
“I don’t think so…” He adjusted his position on the seat. “So, Matteo, here’s the thing about women like Vanessa. They’re bad for you.” He shook his finger at her apartment building as if it were filled with the energy of a million demons. “Once you take one bite, just one, you’re hooked on their poison. See, she’s beautiful… she’s funny. And she can fuck her pretty little ass off…”
His mind filled with memories of that sweet, hot tight box of hers. He missed those times so badly. “You never know what cha got ’till it’s gone!” He chuckled mirthlessly. “But she was created to break my heart, you know? Here I am, in Greenwich Village, parked outside of her house so I can catch a glimpse of her, talk to her. I fucking hate it over here… but maybe it will be worth it. I know she’s gotta go out tonight.”
He glanced down at his watch, then back at the apartment building. Lonnie Smith’s “It’s Changed” came on then, playing through the speakers. Vincent rested his head on the back seat, his eyes fluttering as he fought to stay afloat.
“Mr. Cooper, I think I see Vanessa.”
He sat up like a rocket, rubbing his eyes, trying to wake himself completely. There she was, wearing a short, tight, red dress that hugged her body like a glove, the fabric caressing every damn curve. Red shiny heels were paired with the outfit, along with a black and red striped purse.
Still fucking beautiful as ever…
He reached for the handle of the limo to pop out with the bouquet of roses he’d brought along, only to stop short. The apartment building front door opened once again, and out stepped a tall, Build-a-Bear big ass, muscular motherfucker who wasted no time in taking her in his arms and layering her luscious neck with kisses. He was certain that Vanessa’s sounds of joy at that moment would forever haunt him…
He stared at the two as they played around, her squealing and pretending to run free before swatting the guy on his shoulder. Vincent leaned forward, trying to see if he knew the man or had ever seen him around. He didn’t… It was a complete stranger.
They appeared chummy—definitely no first or second date here, but two people in love…
His blood boiled. Grabbing the bouquet of flowers, he crushed them in his grip, forcing the petals to fall to the floor of the limousine. He cracked the window, wishing to hear what they were saying a bit better. The guy had a deep voice with an unusually strong dialect that reminded him of the people on the Jersey Shore.
“He’s Italian I bet… Yeah. He looks it, too.”
He tamped down his angst at that notion. His ex-wife, who’d been his college sweetheart, had remarried and her new husband was an Italian, as well. Though he’d been the one who’d called it quits and had filed for divorce, that discovery had never sat well with him, despite him being biracial himself. He took pride in his Blackness, rarely discussing his father’s contribution to his existence.
“I hate those motherfuckers…”
Just as he uttered the words, the big man took Vanessa by the hand and led her to the damn Ferrari, the one he’d been lusting after as he waited for her arrival. His bad dream had just got worse. Opening the passenger’s side door, the Rocky Balboa lookalike helped her inside.
“Matteo, get that license plate number.” He sat back in the limo, his heart beating a mile a minute as he watched the brake lights on the fancy, expensive car come on, and then the vehicle pull away from the curb and cart the love of his life away.
He’s not a fucking thug. He’s not a bum. This motherfucker has some money, real money, like me. This is true competition… but he’s younger than me. He is fucking the dog shit outta my Vanessa. I can tell by that big ass obnoxious smile that was on his face…
“Do you want me to follow them, sir?”
“Nah… no need to follow them. I’ve seen enough for tonight.”
Matteo started the limo up and merged with traffic, blending in like a fish in the ocean.
“Where to now, sir?”
“Home. I just wanna go fucking home…”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Mother’s Nature
“I’m glad you came.” Dominic sat in his apartment in Union City, New Jersey. If he stood and looked outside his window, he’d be able to see the New York City skyline.
“Of course, man. You’re like my favorite cousin. Me, Roberto, and you practically grew up together.” Gio grabbed the chilled bottle of water and chugged it.
Usually, when they’d see one another, they’d go straight to the bar but the man explained that due to his alcoholism and being in a program of sorts, he could no longer drink the stuff. Dom’s baby finger still curled over and over again—a nervous tick he’d had since Giovanni could remember.
“Remember that joke we had goin’?” The man smiled wide, exposing the gap between his two front teeth.
“Yeah!” Gio laughed.
“I asked ya years ago, ‘Why did we stop playing with toys and trucks ’nd shit together? The baseball games stopped, ya know? Like, what day did we realize, when we were kids, that that was it? And you looked at me and said with a straight face, ‘When we discovered pussy.’”
They both burst out laughing at that, then drew quiet, melting into their own thoughts.
“So yeah, I was thinkin’ about moving back to New York but, uh, with this probation shit, I can’t. After a few years, when I get my money right and this foot off my neck, I’ll make that move.”
He tapped his cigarette in the ashtray, peering at him through those sad blue eyes. As they sat there in the depressing looking dump for a while, Gio took note of the draft in the place, and the dingy, dull colors of everything. Dominic was a good guy; he deserved better than this. Autumn was in full swing, but even this place was unusually cold. He imagined if tears and heartache had a color, this place was painted from ceiling to floor in it.
“I wanna put you on, Dom.” Gio leaned back in the broken-down recliner his keister was shoved in and rested his hands along the threadbare, ratty arms.
“I ain’t no fitness guru.” Dom laughed, his eyes hooded. “I can’t help you.”
“Yeah you can. It’s not for what you think. You’re real good at marketing. That’s your expertise. You could sell a fuckin’ blindfold to a blind guy.”
The guy chuckled before taking another toke of his cigarette.
“Yeah… whadduh ya have in mind?” He cocked his head to the side, coaxing his light brown waves of hair to fall forward.
“My girlfriend, Vanessa… She’s doin’ big things. She’s gonna need a machine behind her. She’s launching a cosmetics line. I pulled some strings, got some big people in the mix, but more is better. I wanna help ’er get that shit on TV, magazines, online advertising, shit like that.”
Dom nodde
d, catching his vibe. “I understand, got it. Speakin’ of your girlfriend, let’s talk for a minute.”
“Yeah, all right.” Giovanni sucked his teeth as he waited to see if he’d have to box this motherfucker’s ears, too. He didn’t want to fight Dominic, though. The guy was like a brother to him. It would break his fucking heart.
“That was bullshit that went down at Nonna’s.” The guy’s brows rutted. “I wanna apologize for my fuckin’ mother… story of my goddamn life.”
Dom rolled his eyes and twisted his lips as if sick of it all. Giovanni relaxed a bit, glad an altercation wasn’t about to go down due to some slick shit the man would try and say about his girl.
He’s on my side. I shoulda never doubted him…
“Aunt Emma was showin’ her true colors is all, Dom. That’s your mother, so I’m tryna be respectful but Jesus Christ!” Dom waved him off as if to say, ‘who cares?’ “Glad I know now instead of later. That was pretty ugly, ya know? Then Tony jumped on the Black is wack bandwagon and ya know the rest of that fuckin’ story.”
“Yeah… after Nonna made you leave with her, we took Tony out back. Me and your brother showed him what we thought. He didn’t have a good time. You did a number on him, that’s for sure. We just made it clear, ya know, that the shit wouldn’t be happening again. Not at Nonna’s… not any fuckin’ where. He threatened to call my probation officer.” The man burst out laughing at that. “I told him Roberto ain’t got no fuckin’ probation officer and neither do you, so if he wanna open that door, to be my fuckin’ guest. Anyway, I don’t think you’ll be hearin’ about it anymore from him.”
Gio nodded. The message was crystal clear.
“I’m just pissed it happened at Nonna’s house. That wasn’t right but he left me no goddamn choice.” Gio threw up his hands.
“’Cause a fuckin’ scene like that at Nonna’s birthday.” He hissed. “What did he expect ya to do? Get tha fuck outta here and everybody makes excuses for him, ya know? Sayin’ he’s slow… He knows what tha fuck he’s doing. He’s holdin’ down a job, fuckin’ these stupid broads that let his dumb ass get a bit of their cold cut combo. I mean…” Dom shrugged his shoulders. “People feel how tha fuck they feel, ya know? Think what ya want but don’t bring that shit to somebody else, make it part of their day. Especially not your family.”
“That’s all I’m sayin’,” Gio said. “So, tell me, what tha fuck happened, man?”
Dom grimaced and stared at his ashtray for a good while.
“I got what was mine. That’s what the hell happened.” He laughed mirthlessly. “This guy I went into business with stole some shit from me, right? We’re talking big money here, not a few hundred dollars. I’m talkin’ five fuckin’ digits. You know I was living nice. I had it all.”
“Yeah, man.”
“Me and another partner of mine, after he dipped, left town, tracked ’im down. I got my shit back, and he got a nice vacation at the E.R. I know you can relate. You had—”
“Yeah.” Gio put his hand up, squashing the conversation. “I can relate. All right, well, that’s in the past, okay? Let’s let bygones be bygones. I don’t give a shit about any of that… just glad you’re okay. I’m gonna shoot you some information about Vanessa’s stuff, okay? Let’s meet up.”
“Sounds good. I can do that. Let ’er know I can help her and if she’s as good as you say, then it’ll be a cakewalk. I’ve worked with a hairline before, you know, shampoo and shit. That company is a million-dollar gig now. So, I know it’s not cosmetics, but I imagine they’ve got some similar approaches. I’ve done this before.”
“I know you’ll handle it. In the meantime, I want you outta here, too.” Gio looked around the grim place once again. It smelled musty and old, and Dom had just moved in. “You’re not far from me, right across the Hudson. You can stay here in Jersey since ya have to but pack your shit. I’m getting you outta here this week.”
Both getting to their feet, they slapped hands, then hugged.
“Thank you, Gio. I don’t want your money. I want to earn everything you give me but yeah, I would like to live somewhere else. This is all I can afford right now.”
“I appreciate you trying to do it on your own but this is not a good look. I know you, Dom. So, look around and find some other place and I’ll take care of the rent for ya for a few months, okay? Break this lease. I’ll pay the cancellation and find a spot you like that is still close by. I got you, okay? I think you are one of the few relatives who hasn’t asked me for a loan.” He chuckled. “And right now you could use it. That’s what family is for.”
“Yeah? Well, you know, the family is real proud of ya, especially me.” They held onto each other. It felt like no time had passed at all since they’d last met, like they were picking up right where they left off.
“I shoulda called you more, Gio. Then you would’ve known I was in the pen. You always used to call me but I was too busy to call you back sometimes… then your calls stopped.”
“I just figured you were real busy with work is all. I understood.”
“Yeah, I know ya did but as close as we’ve been, I shoulda called you from prison at least. Sorry about that… My pride…” He shrugged. “I specifically told people to not tell ya…”
Gio wanted to ask him why’d he do such a thing—why he put a barrier between them, but deep down he already knew the answer. They looked up to one another, admired each other. Neither wanted to be seen down and out. It was shameful.
“Giovanni, let me give you a little advice, all right?” The man rested his hand on his shoulder.
“Sure thing.”
“My mother is like so many people in this world, okay? They wanna tell everyone how terrible they fuckin’ are but refuse to look at their own shit. You were at Nonna’s as a kid, with me, because your parents were working their asses off, tryna make a better life for you and Roberto. My time with Nonna was because my mother was out smokin’ crack and suckin’ dick.”
“Awww, Dom. Come on, man,” Gio put his hand on his shoulder, too, as they leaned into one another. “Don’t do this… please don’t do this, man.”
“No.” The man vehemently shook his head. “Let me get this out.” Gio hated the rocky road they were headed down but let him speak. “I was jealous of you and your brother, but in a good way. I never wanted you two not to have what cha had. I just wanted the same things, too. I didn’t resent cha because you two had parents who fuckin’ loved you. Me?” He pointed to himself, the cigarette dangling from between his fingers. “My father was fuckin’ dead, all right? He was in and out of prison before that, and my mother was selling her mouth, ass, and pussy on the goddamn street for the drugs.
“She was a sanctimonious bitch then, a fuckin’ crackhead whore out here snubbin’ people, acting like she was better than everyone else. She never loved me. She never even liked me. I was an inconvenience. If it wasn’t for Nonna, your mother and Sibilla, I woulda never known how a real fuckin’ lady is supposed to act. Let me tell ya somethin’, now that my mind is clear and sober.” The man pointed in his face with the cigarette wedged between his fingers, his other hand still on his shoulder. “That woman told me from day one that I wasn’t shit and would never be shit.
“I proved ’er wrong. I got me a trade, learned how to make people get their ideas to the next level. I was the idea man, okay? I made so much fuckin’ money it was insane. I didn’t bring up none of the dirty shit she’d done and said to me. Instead, I turned around and bought her a big ass house and car. I did it because that crackhead whore was still my fuckin’ motha! And I respected her even when she didn’t deserve it, all right?”
“Yeah… I hear you, Dom.”
“And you know what? She never apologized, never said she was proud of me, none of that fuckin’ shit. But, as soon as I went to the pen, she was there on the johnny-fuckin’-worm-in-the-rotten-apple spot to tell me what a screw-up I was. I say all of that to say, blood is not thicker than water, Gio. Love the peo
ple who love you back, not the ones that just love ya ’cause you’re there, or ’cause of what you can do for ’em. Go where you’re celebrated, not fuckin’ tolerated. This girl you got? The pretty chick with the smooth brown skin and slanted eyes and body that makes any man wanna slit his own fuckin’ throat to get next to ’er? Ya keep her, all right? Anybody that gotta problem with who you’re bonin’, who you love, fuck ’em! They’re just jealous or too pussy to do their own thing, too, ya understand?”
“Yeah, I understand.”
“Do you know how many people are out here afraid to cross that line ’cause of what other people might think?”
He pointed outward towards the window.
“Afraid they’ll let someone down, be judged because they didn’t do what so and so wanted them to do? They’re fuckin’ miserable, living somebody else’s choices and dreams, and for what? You will always be my favorite cousin. You’ve done more for me in one damn day than my mother has done my entire, miserable life.”
The man’s eyes watered, and so did Gio’s.
“I know you love that girl… we all know ya love her. We could see the way you was watchin’ her, lookin’ at her, and that shit you did to Tony proved it. You worship Nonna, but you totally lost your fuckin’ cool because he disrespected your lady, and in my book, that’s pretty damn close to unforgiveable. So, if you wanna make it official with her, you do that, ya understand? Fuck the world!”
The man’s voice trembled as tears streamed down his cheeks. “The world isn’t fair. The world lets people shit on ya, do ya wrong. You don’t owe anybody shit, Gio, especially not this fucked up world and the people in it. But you owe that woman you tore up your cousin’s face for everything. ’Cause she gave you real affection and adoration, and that shit is priceless, Gio. It’s as priceless as the shit I never had but always wanted. Priceless as a mother’s love…”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN