by Ivy Blake
I exhaled, then turned on the water and cupped my hands underneath the steady stream. The water cascaded over my cheeks after I buried my face into the small basin I made with my hands. Drops trickled from my skin and fell into the sink as my head hung over it. I can’t do this. I can’t fucking do this to her.
Just then, there were two knocks at the door. I shut the water off and grabbed a face towel from the adjacent rack, then opened the door.
Carina stood on the other side, adjusting her eyes to the bathroom light.
“Are you ok?” she asked, standing in nothing but a long t-shirt she had grabbed from my drawer.
“Yeah, I’m good. I just had to go to the restroom.”
“Oh, ok. Well, are you going to come back to bed any soon? I was starting to get lonely.”
“Yeah, I’m coming right now.” I shut off the light, kissed her on the lips and then held her hand as we walked back to the bed. We sunk beneath the covers and she tucked her head onto my shoulder and put her hand on my stomach.
“Do you think we are moving too fast?” I asked her honestly
She exhaled. “I’m not sure. I didn’t think anything like this was possible, but now, I see that it is. I don’t want to scare you off or anything, but I do feel a strong connection to you. And no, I am not crazy.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I didn’t think you were, especially since I feel the same way.”
“Good. As long as we are on the same page.” She lifted her hand to my chest and fondled my nipple.
She chuckled, then kissed me on my neck. I fought the images of her dead body lying in my arms while she laid on the cement in front of her parents’ house. With each kiss, I held her closer, not wanting that horrific end to fall on her.
“Baby…” I tried to get her attention, but her soft lips tickled my flesh each time they connected.
“Baby…” She didn’t stop, sliding her hand down to my crotch, slowly massaging it until it hardened in her hand.
“Baby…”
Suddenly, she slithered on top of me, straddling my waist as she put her hands into my chest to help her balance on top of me.
“I just can’t get enough of you, Harrison. I don’t think I have ever wanted someone this much.”
She pulled my shirt over her head and tossed it to the ground. Her perky breasts sat perfectly on her chest. Her nipples were hard and ready, begging me to play with them. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine as I wrestled my silk basketball shorts below my waist until I was naked. I could feel her wetness through the fabric of her thong, dampening my crotch as she sat on top of me. Her tongue floated around inside of my mouth as I held the back of her head. We exchanged passionate kisses. My cock throbbed as it hardened underneath her.
She sat upright, reached behind and grabbed a hold of it, slowly moving her hand up and down the shaft like she was getting it ready for her. I moved my thumb to her core, pushed her thong aside and stroked her clit softly as she bit her bottom lip, moaned and closed her eyes. Suddenly, she spun around with her back facing me, moved her hips up slightly then slid onto my cock. She slowly lowered herself on my shaft as the warmth of her core wrapped around me. I leaned my head back onto the pillow and closed my eyes. She grinded on top of me, moving her hips in a circular motion as I held onto her waist.
After my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw her body in the mirror beside the bed. Her breasts swayed back and forth with her movements as she leaned forward and grabbed my ankles. I used my hand to smack her on her backside as she slammed her ass against me, moving her hips up and down. Her body shook in waves from her bottom to her hips as she moaned louder and picked up her pace.
“Yes, baby! Yes, fuck me harder!”
I moved my thumb towards her asshole and slowly started to rub it. She continued her pace with her hips and moaned louder. I slowly slid my thumb inside and I felt her body shake on top of me.
“I want you to come,” I said, smacking her ass again. “Come for me Carina!”
She continued pumping her hips as she leaned back up and grabbed her breasts. The vision I caught in the mirror turned me on more. She was fucking hot. She knew exactly what to do to keep me going. She moved her hips faster as she moved one of her hands down to her core. She started rubbing quickly as I kept my thumb inside of her, pushing my hips as far up as they would go.
“I’m about to come,” she said as she toyed with her clit. Her hand moved back and forth across her clit.
“I’m coming. Don’t stop,” she demanded. “Don’t fucking–” and in seconds, she screamed out in ecstasy and started grinding hard on my cock. She moved her fingers faster as her body shook, and called out my name. Finally, she climbed off me and fell onto the mattress with her limbs sprawled out on the mattress.
“Goodnight, Harrison,” she said out of breath.
“Goodnight, Carina.”
I laid on my back, facing the ceiling as Carina fell asleep soundly on my shoulder. I looked down at her and thought about what I was going to do with my case. I couldn’t get her involved in this and I took that dream as a warning. If I used her as my way in, I was liable to get her killed and that would have been the first death that I would have never forgiven myself for causing.
Chapter 14
Carina
When I woke up the next morning, the window was open. A light breeze blew the curtains, causing them to flutter over the window. Harrison had already gotten out of bed and after a few minutes went by, I got up, slid on my jeans pants and his t-shirt, then went downstairs. Harrison was in the kitchen making breakfast. I could smell the bacon in the air as soon as I walked into the room.
“So, I get sex and breakfast? Wow. I think I may have hit the jackpot with you.” I walked behind him and kissed him on the neck.
“Babe, I need to talk to you.”
“Oh? About?”
He turned off the stove, then removed the bacon from the skillet and placed them onto a plate on the counter. “Just have a seat. I’ll tell you.”
“This sounds serious.” He didn’t respond and with that, I pulled out a chair and took a seat at the table. He sat down next to me and reclined back in his chair. I tapped my fingers against the table top and fought back at the butterflies that had started to course through my stomach.
“Come on, Harrison, the suspense is killing me. What is it?”
He exhaled and looked towards the kitchen window. By his facial expressions, I could tell that this was something serious. Is he really married? Engaged? Does he have some illegal shit going on, too? A thousand things went through my head as I waited for him to tell me what was going on.
“Harrison?”
Finally, he looked my way. A solemn expression shot from his countenance and as he leaned forward, he spoke.
“I’ve got to come clean with you about some shit.” My heartbeat stopped until he continued. “Because I haven’t been honest.” He folded his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair. He was antsy. “I’m not a businessman and I am not working with the government.”
“Well, I figured that much,” I said as my brows wrinkled together. I shook my head, expecting the worst.
“I am an undercover cop for the Chicago Police Department.” The moment he said those words, I felt as if the floor had fallen out from under me. Before I could even could form words in my mouth, he continued.
“I have been assigned to investigate your family and find out what they have going on. I have been an undercover cop here for about four years.”
I watched him closely, hoping that he would burst into laughter and tell me that he was just joking about everything. As I waited for it to happen, it never did. He just dug a deeper hole into my heart with each word he spoke.
“I didn’t know who you were before I met you. I didn’t know you were connected to the Dellucci family. I didn’t put everything together until you told me your last name and my boss showed me your picture. Even then, I just hoped that it was a mist
ake. I hoped that, somewhere along the line, there was a mistake and you were wrongly grouped with the Dellucci family. But, as time passed, I realized that wasn’t the case.”
An uncomfortable silence flooded between us as we sat at the kitchen table. The bright rays of sunlight hadn’t reached their brightest level as it slowly lifted above the horizon. I looked away from Harrison, still trying to process what he said. I was at a complete loss of words.
“Listen, Carina, like I said, I didn’t know who you were before I met you. That night I saw you at Luzano’s. I didn’t know you were connected to them and when my boss found out that I had already been in contact with you, he said that you were my way in.”
I glared up at Harrison as anger started to bubble in my stomach. “Wait," my mouth finally able to form words. “So, that is why you’ve been so interested in my family? That’s what that bullshit was about?”
“Yeah.”
“You have to be fucking kidding me!” I said as I stood to my feet as the bubbling anger coursed through my body.
“This is a joke, right? Please tell me that this is a fucking joke!” I said, still in disbelief. “You’re not really a fucking undercover cop?”
He shook his head no and suddenly, the blood drained from my face and transformed into a deadly rage. How could I be so stupid to fall for a man so fast?! To let my guard down, especially when I knew what my family was involved in.
“You fucking bastard!” I yelled, as I charged towards him.
He quickly stood to his feet and caught my fist before I could send it crashing into this face.
“Carina! Carina, calm the fuck down, alright?! I told you for a reason!”
“Let me go, Harrison! Let me go you fucking LIAR!”
I jerked my hands out of his grasp and out of mercy, he let me go. Tears fell from my eyes relentlessly as I processed everything that was said. The room started to spin, so I put my hand out and held onto the counter to keep myself upright.
“I can’t believe you lied to me!” I cried as he stood near the table with his hands in his pockets. He started to walk closer to me, but I moved away from him.
“Don’t come close to me!”
He stopped in his tracks. “Listen, I know you’re upset, Carina. I told you because I couldn’t go through with the shit. I couldn’t risk–”
“What do you know?!” I said, cutting him off as I gripped the counter in my hand. Even though I wasn’t involved in family business, I still would do anything I could to protect them. “What the fuck do you know about my family?!”
He sighed. “I don’t know much, alright? I was battling whether or not to go through with this, so I didn’t get far.”
“But you still got somewhere?”
“Yeah.”
Tears started to stream down my face. I felt as though I had been punched in the chest. “God, how could I have been so stupid? How could I be so dumb to believe that someone could fall in love so fast! This was all a fucking game!”
“Carina, it was not a game,” as he walked slowly towards me. “The way I feel for you? It is real. I felt this way beforehand, that’s why I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t put you in danger.”
He stepped closer to me, but I quickly moved my body away from him. “No! You already lied about who you were. I don’t think I could ever trust you now.”
“Carina, just listen!”
“No! No, I will not listen! Fuck you, Harrison! You played me from the beginning and I was stupid enough to fall for it”
“Carina please just listen…”
Tears streamed down my face and blurred my vision as he stood a few away from me. I breathed heavily, still trying to gather myself as I stood in front of a man that was now a complete stranger to me.
“I never want to see you or talk to you again and if I do, I will tell my family and trust me, they are not someone you want to piss off.”
“Carina…”
I left his house in a storm, climbed into my car and sped away as a river of tears continued to fall from my eyes. I couldn’t believe that I allowed myself to get into such a fucking mess. I believed him, I thought as I slammed my hands into the steering wheel. I can’t believe I fucking believed him! I had almost lost my family because of my stupid heart.
Chapter 15
Harrison
A week went by and I hadn’t heard anything from Carina. I called her phone back to back and left voicemails and texts, but I got nothing in response from her. Before her, settling down hadn’t crossed my mind and now that I told her the truth about who I was, I had probably lost her. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to get her hurt, and if that meant breaking her heart, then so be it. It was better this way.
I had to figure out something else to do so that I could take down the Dellucci’s, but I wanted to leave Carina out of it. I was determined to eventually make it right between me and her. How the hell I would make it right while still doing my fucking job, I didn’t know. But I had to try and figure it out. I grabbed my phone and dialed Mason.
“Hello?”
“What’s up, man? You got a minute?”
“Yeah. What do you need?”
“Meet me down at the park on Berlin in like twenty minutes.”
“Twenty minutes? Jesus, Harrison, I’m always on the fucking other side of town.”
“Thirty minutes?”
“Fuck.” He paused. “Alright, shit. Give me at least forty-five minutes. This shit better be good, too, got damn it.”
“Forty-five minutes.”
I arrived at the park and sat on the bench in front of a small pond. A trio of ducks waddled in the water while children threw pieces of bread towards them. The ducks quacked and fought each other to get the pieces of bread as I put my arm on the edge of the bench.
“You fucking piece of shit.” I recognized his voice immediately, so I didn’t need to turn around to see who he was. Mason plopped down on the other end of the bench, keeping a good distance between us.
“Why the fuck was it so urgent for me to come all the way over here in such a short notice? I was just getting ready to get my dick sucked by a fat bitch.”
“Liar.”
He paused. “Yeah, I was lying, but who the fuck cares? Why did I have to come over here?”
I squinted my eyes as the children ran around, playing. Their laughter followed behind them like a tail as I cleared my throat.
“Listen, I know you have your ear to what is going on within the precinct.” I turned towards him. “And I know there are some fucking dirty cops that the Dellucci’s have in their pockets. I need to know what you know about that shit.”
“Dirty cops? Come on, man, I don’t know anything about that shit. I mean, I know it is happening but at the same time, I keep my fucking nose out of it. I come to work, clock in and do my job. I am just trying to make it through the day. All that extra shit? I stay out of it.”
“Bullshit, Mason. I know you know something. You have your nose in every fucking thing, good and bad. I need to find a different way in.”
“So, you’re working the Dellucci case, huh?”
“Yeah. I’ve been working it for a couple of weeks now, but my way in is…” I paused. “I just need to find another way. That’s it.”
“Damn it, Harrison.” He shook his head and looked straight to the front. The ducks flapped their wings as they earnestly searched for the children that once fed them with bread crumbs.
“Look,” he reached in his pocket and removed his cell phone. “I’ll see what I can do. I won’t make any promises, but I’ll see what I can find.”
“Alright. That’s all I need you to do. I can handle the rest.”
“Alright, man. Like I said, I’ll see what I can do and I’ll be in touch with you in a couple days.”
“Cool.”
I stood up and left Mason on the bench glaring back at the ducks.
When I got in the car, I checked my email. O’Malley sent a message about a
meeting tomorrow. I had to tell him what I found out, but I didn’t want him to know that I dropped Carina as my way into the Dellucci family. If he found that out, he would probably put me off the case because I let my emotions get in the middle of my police work.
I sent him a response and looked up and noticed that Mason was still in the park area. That’s odd. I waited for ten minutes in my car and he still didn’t budge. I was just about to leave when I noticed another man walking towards Mason. He was accompanied by two more men, both dressed in all black. I squinted my eyes to get a better look at the guy who sat down with him on the bench.
Nico? Nico Dellucci?
Chapter 16
Carina
Two weeks had gone by since I had last seen or spoke to Harrison. I couldn’t believe I allowed someone like him to come into my life and even worse, I had allowed him to potentially dismantle my family in the process. I was so ashamed that I couldn’t even see my parents face to face. I couldn’t even bring myself to talk to Freya. The whole ordeal was so embarrassing that I decided to climb back into my cave and bury myself in school work like I did before I went out and met Harrison. What started out so beautiful ended up turning into something so dreadful.
It was a Friday evening when I got a call from Freya. I had made an island of myself, surrounded by a sea of school papers just waiting to be graded. The phone’s ringing startled me in the midst of my solitude.
“Hello?”
“Ok, enough of this. You haven’t been in the teacher’s lounge much, you barely speak to us at lunch and you walk around like a zombie. What the hell is going on?”
“Freya, I am fine. I just–”
“You are just full of shit and I know it. Open the door.”
“What?”
“I said open the door.”
Seconds later, the bell rang. I parted the sea of papers and walked to the door as she stood on the other side with the same look she had always given me when I gave her an answer she didn’t want to hear. One eyebrow raised above the other while her mouth was positioned to the side of her face. She propped her hand onto her waist and shook her head.