‘Any news today? Have any of the guys been in touch?’
Josh gives the pot a good stir, places the lid back on the simmering sauce and indicates for me to take a seat at the table.
‘My phone hasn’t stopped and I’ve received at least a dozen emails. I also spoke to Nathan and I think I’ve managed to piece it all together now. The bottom line is that it really is all over. A couple more of the team resigned this morning and everyone is just walking out and saying screw you to the money. The union will sort out what we’re due from an employment law standpoint. But we have ammunition, now.’
Josh walks over to the dresser to pick up a bottle of wine and two glasses.
‘Here, you’re going to need this.’ He hands me a glass and we both immediately take a gulp. There’s nothing to celebrate other than the end to the weeks of misery.
‘Nathan really did get a doctor to diagnose stress but, as we both know, it’s mostly self-imposed, given how he’s running himself into the ground. But it was also a tactic and guess what? The next day he was offered a large pay-off to take voluntary redundancy.’
My mouth drops open.
‘He said that he already knew we were being set up to fail. We’d lost eight good people with no replacements. Extra work was also being put our way to further destabilise the situation and money to replace servers that needed to be urgently upgraded was refused. If only I’d taken a moment to step back and see the bigger picture. Nathan took the money and has already found himself another job.’
‘What a rat. Why on earth didn’t he call you? He’s supposed to be a friend. But it’s good news in a way. If Nathan can get another job that quickly, that bodes well for you.’
Josh’s eyes narrow and his brow crinkles in a particularly unattractive way.
‘The position he’s accepted is up in Scotland. He’s heading up the IT department for a huge call centre and they have several managerial vacancies. He’s trying to talk me into applying and he says it would be a formality; they’d pay a premium to get me.’
Scotland? My heart sinks.
‘How do you feel about that?’ I ask quietly.
‘It can’t be solely my decision, Ellie. This would throw all of our lives up in the air. I could probably get a job tomorrow in any number of similar set-ups, but a lot of them will be a long way away from here. I either go where the jobs are, or accept that it might mean less money and a smaller operation. Even then, there are no guarantees it will be on our doorstep, so there’s commuting time to take into consideration. And the cost of diesel is rising, which doesn’t help.’
‘I hadn’t considered how lucky we were that your drive to work was only half an hour. It’s a lot to take in. It will mean uprooting the girls and, as for Livvie, I don’t even want to think about what her reaction would be.’
‘I’m not going to jump into anything and it has to work for all of us. All I’m saying is that it might not be as easy as Nathan’s situation. He’s free to go wherever he chooses, because he only has himself to consider. There is another way. I want you to consider it and give me an answer before we sit down and explain the options to the girls. I could go for the money and rent accommodation nearby, just coming home at weekends. It’s not ideal, but mull it over and let me know if you think it’s worth considering.’
I’ve never been prone to despondency, always looking at a problem and immediately exploring the possible solutions to overcome it. But this floors me and my spirits take a sudden nosedive.
When Josh and I sit the girls down to explain that daddy has lost his job, they receive the news in silence. It’s hard telling them that we aren’t sure what will happen in the longer-term. In the short-term Josh will be based at home, because I’ll be working more hours. Josh tells them that he doesn’t think it will be long before he gets another job but explains that it might be in another part of the country. Hettie mutters something about it not being fair and Rosie bursts into tears, saying she doesn’t want to move anywhere. At that point Hettie walks out of the room, as the enormity of the situation began to sink in. Josh looks across at me as I put my arm around Rosie, pulling her close. His face looks ashen and I know this is tearing him apart.
‘That’s enough for now.’ Josh addresses Rosie and myself, unable to take any more. If simply talking about it is this hard, then what follows is going to be really, really tough on everyone.
‘I’m sorry, Dad.’ Rosie stands up and walks over to Josh, learning onto his shoulder and giving him a reassuring pat on the back as one might with a child. It’s touching to watch.
‘Hey, pumpkin, it happens. There’s nothing to worry about. It will all be sorted, but in the meantime we have to establish a new routine. Mum is going to need some help around the house. I’ll be here to do as much as I can, but I need to focus on finding the right job. You understand that, don’t you?’
‘Yes and I’ll help, I promise. I just don’t want to leave my friends, or my school, Dad. I really don’t.’
‘I understand, Rosie, and that is going to be the absolute last resort. So let’s not dwell on that and hopefully I’ll find something local and we’ll be able to get back to normal.’
‘It’s nice to have you back again, Dad. I didn’t like the last few weeks. It isn’t the same when you aren’t around.’
As Rosie heads up to her bedroom to watch a DVD, Josh and I reflect upon her words. We’ve all struggled to maintain a semblance of normal family life and I know we are both thinking the same thing. If Josh is only home at weekends it will save disrupting the girls, but at what cost to us as a family?
Chapter 22
This last month we’ve all been through so much and yet the girls have been marvellous. They’ve turned off lights when leaving the room and insisted they don’t need all the products we normally pile into the shopping trolley, so they can emerge from the bathroom shiny and clean. Hettie even suggested she get a Saturday job so she could pay for her own makeup and clothes. Rosie thought up a few money-saving ideas for the lunch boxes. It left Josh and me feeling proud of our caring, empathetic daughters. We were even more determined to find the right solution and not a quick fix that turns into a nightmare.
The problem is that it’s hard to turn down the offer of a really good job, particularly when you are headhunted. And that’s what happened, which was a real boost to Josh’s self-esteem. He asked for time to consider the offers, but all of them involved a major upheaval of one sort or another. He stalled into week two and then into week three. A week ago we sat up late into the night to make the final decision. It came down to which was likely to cause the least impact to the family as a whole. Eventually we settled on a job based in Milton Keynes and Josh went back to them to negotiate terms.
He has a permanent contract with a six-month opt-out option at one month’s notice, if it doesn’t work out. After that they will require him to work four months’ notice, but he told me that isn’t unusual. He leaves home at six o’clock every Monday morning and stays locally throughout the week. At three o’clock on Friday afternoon he drives back home for the weekend.
The girls were stunned when we broke the news. We didn’t gloss over the sacrifice Josh was making, so that they wouldn’t have to be uprooted. We decided that they were old enough to understand that life isn’t always easy and that this solution was still going to mean a huge adjustment for us all. The big plan is that if Josh settles in and things continued to run smoothly here, then we will review the situation in two years’ time. Having a potential end date in our minds somehow made us feel a little better about our nightmare situation.
I had to break the news to Livvie that I couldn’t continue to work full time, but had to work around the daily school run again and any after-school clubs. Then our neighbour, Dawn, offered to act as a taxi and do the afternoon run. It means that she has a little income and I can work from nine-fifteen in the morning, through until four-thirty. Livvie was simply relieved that I wasn’t handing in my resignation. The ne
w lady, Eve, is going to take over some of my less-demanding tasks, so I can focus on buying, and supporting Livvie.
Suddenly there was a glimmer of hope on the horizon. The mortgage would continue to be paid, the girls were relatively happy and, courtesy of FaceTime, they can see their dad each evening. When they were done, Josh and I could have some one-to-one time. At first I dreaded the thought; it seemed a strange way to have quality time. But over the past few days I’ve come to see that it’s more personal than just hearing someone’s voice and often we chat while I’m in the kitchen making dinner for the girls. Josh feels he’s still a part of what’s going on and soon it will all begin to feel normal. Just a different sort of normal, that’s all.
As for the physical side, well, it’s lonely – for both of us. This is Josh’s second week and it’s true what they say, absence does make the heart grow fonder. Last weekend flew by, but we probably packed in a lot more family, and couple, time than we had for ages. When we reflected upon it last night, Josh said he thought it was because we no longer have the fear of uncertainty hanging over us.
In my head I have all of these little compartments, like boxes. In one is Josh, in another Hettie, then Rosie, then Aunt Clare. Livvie has one, too, and now Max. Why? Because he has no one and because fate sent me falling headlong into his little world for a reason. Perhaps it’s my turn to repay that fateful day when Livvie introduced me to Josh. It changed my life forever and I’m hoping that if I help Max, then it will change his life forever, too.
Josh and the girls are now reasonably settled into our new living arrangements, so that’s three boxes I don’t have to dive into for a while.
Livvie’s mum is doing well and she has admitted to me there are times she forgets that her mother is living under her roof. Having settled into the guest annex with the live-in nurse/companion, life seems to be continuing as normal. As for Aunt Clare, she’s about to go on a second date with a man she met online and seems quietly optimistic for a change. Well, he didn’t run screaming from their first date and he thinks her sense of humour is a bonus. Yes, really.
That leaves one last box. With all the others firmly shut, because that’s the only way I can cope with it, Max and Castrovillari still invade my dreams most nights. I’ve tried everything I can think of to blot it out, but nothing works. So now I have to accept the fact that I can’t control how my brain functions when I’m asleep. Whatever happens is driven by fate and fate alone.
Bella’s latest email from her personal account is open in front of me.
It’s all booked and I arrive at Heathrow Airport on Saturday evening. I promised Mum I would stay for three days before I head off to see a few friends. Are you sure it’s okay if I get to yours Wednesday afternoon/early evening? I can only stay the one night, as there’s been a change of plan. I’ll tell you all about it when I see you, as it’s rather complicated.
I’ve been doing some digging and I’ve found something. Something I don’t think Max has seen and probably doesn’t even know exists. If you speak to him and can steer the conversation around to talking about Trista, ask him whether she ever talks about Aletta. Or if he can remember when she last talked about her.
Max seems a little more relaxed and I think your emails brighten his day. I hope Josh’s new job is working out and the girls aren’t driving you mad.
See you next week; I can’t wait to catch up.
Bella x
Max never talks about Trista. He writes about the cooperative, what’s happening at the refinery and life at the villa. Considering my stay was so short, the connections I made feel so very strong, as if their lives touch mine. I can’t stop myself caring about their day-to-day concerns. I love to hear how the cooperative is growing and Max is, I think, grateful to have someone to share his news with, who understands how important it is to him. I cursor down the screen looking for his name and, sure enough, about a dozen items below Bella’s latest email, he’s there.
Buongiorno, Ellie
I promised you a photo of Piero’s newest sculpture. He says it’s not for sale, unless his favourite English lady finds the perfect setting for it. He now regards you as little short of a patron saint for his family. The building work has already begun on the extension and Piero will have a little bungalow that will be quite separate from the family home.
The villa is busy and we are down to our last two rooms. Everyone is helping out, even one of the cousins I’d never met before. There is a feeling of optimism here at the moment that changes the whole ambience. People are busy and happy to be busy. And the harvest is looking good.
I will miss Bella, though. She deserves a holiday and I know that it’s long overdue. But she says she came here to escape her family, which I find rather curious, as she seems to fit right in and has become close to us all. Here, of course, the fact that her mother is still remembered with great fondness means she is only one step removed from a family association, anyway.
Today is a good day. Catch me up on your news if and when you can. I wish you could drop by for a coffee on the terrace. Maybe next time.
Fino a quando ci incontriamo di nuovo,
Max
I know that tonight I will dream about coffee on the terrace and my heart soars at the positivity in Max’s words. Bella is right and each day his emails seem to get a little brighter. Maybe it’s because all of his efforts in the business are beginning to make a difference, or perhaps it’s easier to chat via email. It’s almost like talking to yourself, as you allow your fingers to fly around the keyboard. Then you press send and it’s forgotten. No one stops to think about the reaction of the person at the other end until they get a response. And then you realise you aren’t just talking to yourself. In the past I’ve re-read my original emails, wishing I’d re-phrased something. Transferring the thoughts inside my head into text isn’t always clear, or it’s coloured by my emotions at the time. Because he’s feeling happier, he’s able to share that with me. Max always signs off with ‘until we meet again’ and that makes my heart skip a beat. We’ll never meet again, well, not in the flesh.
I can’t explain our relationship, if it could even be called a relationship. We met because of business, but now we are like any online friendship, whether it’s social media, or a group chat room. But if Bella has a lead that could help unravel the puzzle Aletta left behind, then I need to talk to Max about Trista. I can’t do that via email, it would be too awkward. So I press reply.
Buongiorno Max
Or good evening now, by the time you read this.
I’m so happy to hear that everyone is busy. It’s raining here at the moment and a typical June for us in the UK. Please remind Bella to come prepared, as she might have forgotten how wet our summers can be.
Piero owes me nothing. His work is amazing and he’s a very talented sculptor in his chosen medium. Bradley’s Design Creative can find a home for any of his one-off pieces, but he shouldn’t look to sell anything that has meaning to him. Unless the money will help his future, of course. I’m just relieved Eduardo and his wife realise he needs his own space if he’s going to stay and continue with the family tradition.
We are into the second week of Josh’s new job and surviving. The girls have a lot going on at school and I’m busy at work. A neighbour collects them from their after-school activities and they usually get home just before me. They FaceTime with Josh while I’m cooking dinner and it helps a lot. Seeing someone, rather than just hearing their voice, makes a big difference. Once they’re in bed, though, it’s very peaceful. Something that is still a bit alien at the moment.
I’m around this evening if you wanted to chat. After eight is best for me.
I suppose it’s time I wandered into the kitchen. Maybe tonight I’ll take my inspiration from the wonderful pasta dishes I had while I was in Italy. I will never forget the pink spaghetti.
Until we speak again, take care,
Ellie
There, it’s done. The offer to talk has been made and n
ow it’s in Max’s hands. The lid slides gently back onto the box and now they are all lined up neatly in a row. It’s time for me to unwind.
Chapter 23
‘Mum’s making pink spaghetti. It has wine in it, Dad.’ Rosie’s voice sounds almost scandalised, as she chatters away to Josh in the background. I concentrate on chopping onions, smiling to myself.
‘Only a little red wine, Rosie,’ I throw over my shoulder.
Hettie walks into the kitchen, obviously hungry. ‘When’s dinner going to be ready, Mum? Oh, hi, Dad. I forgot it was that time of the day. How’s work?’
‘Good. But when I’m at the hotel it’s very … quiet, let’s say. I miss the noise you guys make. I don’t miss the fight over the bathrooms in the morning, though. The ensuite here is just for me.’
I laugh. ‘Don’t get too used to it. You’ll be back to sharing at the weekend.’
It’s so lovely to be able to come together still as a family and each talk about what we’ve been doing. We all miss the hugs, of course, but it’s the next best thing.
Josh comments on my perfect pink pasta, as I scoop up the long strands and coil them onto the dinner plates.
‘Can you make that for me at the weekend?’ He asks.
‘Anything you want. Ristorante Maddison will be open and very accommodating to its regular clientele. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow, although this week hasn’t dragged as much.’
I leave the girls to sit and eat, taking the iPad off into the sitting room.
‘Are you really okay? You’re not just being upbeat for the benefit of the girls?’
We’re looking directly as each other and I reach out to touch his face, forgetting it’s a touch screen. I quickly clear the icons that pop up.
‘Sorry, I forgot.’
‘It’s weird, isn’t it? Still, it won’t be forever. Although the way this job is working out it’s a real shame it’s so far away. I’d forgotten what it was like to be appreciated and to be given a decent budget to work with. Being here on my own I can really focus on work and most evenings I grab a quick meal and then I’m back in front of the PC. I’ve tried watching TV, but the screen is too small and it just makes me long for my home comforts. I have a few books downloaded, though, and I try to read for at least an hour before I go to sleep. It usually helps to stop me obsessing over the fact that I’m not with you.’
The Secrets of Villa Rosso Page 13