Joy thought over the last few hours. It hadn’t been too scary, but she was relieved it was over. Kyle had behaved very professionally and she wondered if she had really needed him. Well, she had what she wanted and it was all she needed. Her memories of her parents were the best. She carefully looked through the brochure he had given her. She didn’t need any of these services, but it was good to know. She filed it in her suitcase and then put her pictures away carefully. She wanted to make copies of them one day and maybe she should get a safety deposit box at the bank. She nodded to herself. That was a good idea. But now she had another dilemma. She hadn’t eaten today and she was getting used to regular meals. She looked around her room one more time and then headed down to the coffee shop.
CHAPTER SIX
Joy had the rest of the afternoon to fill and wondered what she should do. She’d never really thought out her day except when she knew she would be working. She needed to plan her life too, and with that in mind she decided to get on the bus and head up to Bayshore. She’d never stopped there on the bus line, but she had ridden the bus to the end of the line once or twice to stay warm and knew this mall was high-end. It was in the town of Glendale and she hoped she could find someone there who would understand what she was trying to accomplish. As she caught the bus on Wisconsin Avenue, she watched the bus on the opposite side of the street head down the avenue. It ended up at Mayfair Mall, another one she could hit up. It was Bayshore though that had the high-end things she was trying to acquire. She knew she was not educated in what she was trying to do and hoped to find someone who wouldn’t just take her money and give her a bunch of crap. She wanted quality, she wanted taste, and she wanted class…she just didn’t know how to acquire it.
The bus ride took a long time since she was essentially catching it in the middle of the long route that wound along the east side and up to Glendale, ending at the mall before turning around, winding back down through downtown and a few questionable areas before coming out in Wauwatosa and at Mayfair where it turned around again and began to wind back. Many was the time street people used the bus system to stay warm. They paid their fare and road until the bus driver looked at them one too many times and they had to get off…maybe to get on another bus and do it all again, dozing in their seat as they rode the semi-warm bus.
Today, Joy felt good in her new clothes. She knew the camel coat made her feel fabulous and hid any clothes faux pas she may have made. She knew she couldn’t have gone to Bayshore dressed as a street person or she’d have been tossed before she even entered the mall.
As the bus went through the East Side of Milwaukee, she looked at the majestic and grand homes and thought it must be a real bitch to heat those huge places. They were pretty, the snow and Christmas lights making them seem even more beautiful, but they were too big and from a bygone era. Some of them had been converted to apartments and condos, and several people lived in these chopped up houses. Others still held single families and the cars in the driveway bespoke enormous wealth. Joy looked at that, starting to realize she could live like that and not wanting any of it. She didn’t need a huge house. She didn’t know if she even wanted one, but she did know she needed a persona. She needed to be educated in the ways of the world as well as an actual academic education. Her parents had always told her she would go to college and now she realized she could. They would have been horrified at the GED she had obtained, but maybe not. They would have been proud that at least she got it and on her own terms. She knew they would have been horrified at the lack of care her siblings had shown towards her. She realized now they’d had blinders on about the many ways she’d been treated by them. The little digs, the pokes, the actual physical and verbal abuse. Her parents simply hadn’t seen it, and at the time Joy had just avoided them when they came around to see their parents. Her age had been such that she simply didn’t care. It had really been a shock when their parents died and her siblings simply divided up their things and moved on, not caring what happened to their little sister.
Finally, they arrived and she got off with several others. She shook off the thoughts of her siblings and entered the mall, bewildered by her choices. She could instantly feel that this was better quality, that people who shopped here had a little more wealth than those who went to The Grand Avenue Mall. While she hadn’t done bad there, this was a whole different lifestyle and she wanted that. She window shopped the full length of the mall, then stopped for a cookie and to gather her thoughts before heading into a couple of the specialty boutiques. It was the third boutique where she felt she had found what she was looking for. A sense of ‘this is it’ came to her as she looked around. The clothing was not too mature for her, the salespeople seemed discreet, not pushy, and it bespoke class and something else—something she couldn’t put her finger on, but could only weakly call style. She began to get excited as she looked through the clothes.
“Good afternoon. May I help you find something?” a pleasant-voiced woman asked Joy.
Joy turned to her with a smile. “I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for,” she admitted. “I know I need some new clothes, definitely some complete outfits, but I don’t know…” she finished lamely, feeling out of sorts.
The woman smiled at her, wondering if she had been given her mother’s or father’s credit card. It didn’t matter, they would help her. She was dressed nicely, seemed mannerly, but that horrible hairstyle, she was definitely rebelling somehow. “I’m Maida. What do you think you are looking for?” she began.
“I need something that is relaxed,” she said, still unsure how to verbalize it. “I’ll need nicer clothes for going out too…” she was feeling decidedly uncomfortable. Maybe this was a bad idea.
Maida could see her starting to squirm. She was young and had her parents’ credit card. She would bet she’d been told to change her wardrobe. She could help with that. “How about I start showing you what we have and you tell me if you like this style?” she showed her an outfit on one of the mannequins. “Or this?” she showed her another.
“Oh, wow. I love them both,” she breathed, not daring to ever think of looking like that. “I can’t possibly look that good though.” She didn’t realize she had said it aloud.
“Are you kidding?” Maida asked her sincerely. The girl was super thin. “You could pull off both of those. I’d wear something like that,” she pointed back to one of the mannequins, “for every day and then that for more formal occasions.”
Joy glanced around, no one was paying them any attention. She bit her lip, her teeth worrying the skin a little, pulling at the dry piece that caught. “I just don’t know how to wear clothes like that,” she admitted.
Maida smiled. She would bet her mom had made all the girl’s wardrobe choices and when she rebelled she simply didn’t know what to wear. “I can help you with that,” she admitted and then did just that. In no time at all, Joy had tried on half a dozen outfits and bought five of them. They added shoes, boots, and a couple of matching purses. Maida directed her to inexpensive costume jewelry, but advised her to buy good quality gold and precious stones when she had an opportunity. She explained why as they outfitted Joy in various items from sweaters, to blouses, to slacks, and even designer jeans. She told her why she shouldn’t wear certain colors or styles, explaining carefully, and wide-eyed Joy took in every word. They had quite a stack of clothing and accessories when they were done. Maida explained where else Joy should shop in the mall plus a few stores outside the mall in Glendale or the surrounding areas where she might want to see about other clothes now that she understood a little more. Joy felt she got a real education. Maida watched as the young woman didn’t even look at the price tags. She could have really gone overboard. Her boss would have been thrilled at the sales total, but she really wanted to help the woman. She knew she would make more in the long run if Joy was happy and understood what and why. Still, the many packages and bags made up quite an armful.
“Do you want help taking these out to
your car?” Maida asked as they gathered them. She had been relieved when Joy’s credit card went through with no problem. It would have been such a hassle returning all these things to the various shelves and racks.
“Oh, no, I’m going to order a taxi,” she said as though she did it all the time. “As a matter of fact, could I leave these here for a while so I can shop at a couple of other places?” She was not sure that was the proper thing to do. She could always come back the following day, she supposed, but she hoped she wouldn’t have to cause she was exhausted already and it was getting late in the day. Already, she could see it was dark outside, but it got dark early on these winter days.
“Of course, we could send all this to your home too,” she told her, wondering what Joy had in mind and what else she would buy. She’d been fairly closed-mouth about who she was or what she was buying the new wardrobe for. She’d listened well and made a few astute choices, so Maida knew she was paying attention as she taught her.
“No, that won’t be necessary,” Joy told her. “I’ll pick these up in an hour or so, if that’s okay?”
Maida assured her it would be and showed her where she would put the many bags and boxes. “If I’m not here one of the other girls will know they are yours. Save your receipt,” she pointed to the rather long slip of paper attached to the credit card receipt she had handed the young woman.
“Is there a salon here in the mall you can recommend?” Joy asked, remembering some of the things her mother would say and how she phrased them. It was all coming back to her as she learned from this amazing saleswoman.
“Yes, but you need an appointment and they are terribly expensive,” Maida started and then stopped herself. Given the amount of money the woman had just spent on all those clothes, that was obviously not an issue.
“Do you think it’s too late in the day?” she sounded worried.
Maida glanced at the clock. It was late, but it felt later because the sun set so early in winter. “You could check. Would you like me to call down?”
Feeling odd about it, Joy went with her gut. “Yes, I’d like that. Please tell them I’m on my way and if they could fit me in I’d like a trim.” She gestured at her uneven mop and pretended she hadn’t seen Maida look at it repeatedly that afternoon as they went through all those outfits. “I’ll be back later,” she gestured at the bags and boxes and waved as she exited. “Thank you.”
Maida smiled until she couldn’t see the woman anymore and reached for the phone. After warning them that Joy was on the way, she turned to the other saleswoman who was at her elbow. “Who was that?” she was asked. “Oh, I don’t know. Some girl with a credit card from Mommy and Daddy. Still, she had good bone structure and we managed to outfit her,” she gestured to the pile. “Help me straighten this up. She’ll be back for it after her salon treatment,” she said prissily.
“Holy shit, Maida. Did you sell her half the store?”
Maida laughed. She hadn’t taken advantage of Joy and she could have. She knew the woman now helping her organize and straighten up would have, but she sensed that Joy would be back for more once she started wearing these clothes and outfits.
Joy walked into the salon feeling a little more confident after her afternoon in the other store. Maida’s advice hadn’t gone unheeded. She understood so much more now about clothes—how they should fit her and why. Certain colors didn’t go with her blonde looks or her body style. She should stay away from some fabrics and now she knew why. She shouldn’t match her shoe color to the clothes and why some should stand out more. “Hello, I was hoping to get a haircut. Maida sent me?” Joy knew that name dropping might help and she was right, they’d been expecting her. She wondered if Maida got a commission from people she sent down here. Joy didn’t mind, they were making her feel good. Tomorrow, she’d come down here early and there was another salon she had seen and not mentioned to Maida. She’d learn how to use and apply makeup. Then she’d go to the other stores that Maida recommended, wearing some of the new clothes she had bought today. She’d feel more confident and better able to hold her own, even if she was pretending. She watched as they expertly trimmed her uneven hair, cutting it into a stylish, almost pixie cut to accommodate all the different lengths. She was just so grateful she’d been able to wash it at the hotel the past couple of nights. She’d never gotten bugs in it, but it had been a near thing considering where she had lived and stayed so often. As she paid for the outrageously expensive haircut, she felt good about how it looked. She hadn’t had a professional haircut since her mother died. She glanced time and again in the mirror and was shocked to see a younger version of her mother looking back at her. Her mother had never had hair this short, it was not something her generation would have, but seeing her mother’s face was a surprise to Joy.
She stopped in a jewelry store and bought a necklace and a pretty ring to wear with her outfits, something that was not specific to any one outfit and that completed her purchases for the day. She’d spent a lot of money and wondered what Mr. Mueller at the bank would say. Then she shrugged it off. She had it to spend if she wanted to! No, that was not the attitude to have and she knew it. This was an investment. She needed to have an appearance. Tomorrow, she would round out her wardrobe and occasionally add to it, but for now she had to get it all back to the hotel. She headed for the shop where Maida was holding the majority of today’s purchases.
“I need to order a taxi,” she murmured as she and another salesclerk gathered the many bags.
“Would you like the number?” the girl offered helpfully.
“Is there a pay phone nearby…” Joy began.
“Oh, you don’t have a cell phone?” she sounded shocked, almost scandalized at the thought.
“Um, no,” Joy answered, suddenly feeling gauche again. Maida hadn’t made her feel like that.
“How about I call for you?” the clerk quickly asked, trying to be helpful. She’d heard the change in tone and she didn’t want to offend Maida’s customer. She had, after all, purchased a lot of things and there would be hell to pay if she returned it all over something said out of turn.
“That would be lovely,” Joy said in return, trying to sound like she normally spoke that way. She’d picked up clues of how to talk by listening to Maida this afternoon. It hadn’t been hard to imitate as it reminded her of her mother and father and how they had spoken as Joy grew up in their home. She’d forgotten a lot of that in her tomboyish rebel phase, but it all came back easily when she tried. “Could you have them come to the south entrance,” she gestured with her chin towards that part of the mall.
“Of course,” she answered with a smile, trying to be helpful as the customer picked up the last bag. Her fingers were full of them; it really was a lot. They’d also put the many shoe and boot boxes in bags for her.
“I’ll be waiting,” Joy said in an offhand manner, carrying her many purchases out the door and trying not to knock anything down. She really felt overwhelmed by the many bags, but she wouldn’t show it. She should probably buy a car so they could just put it all in the trunk, but it didn’t make sense to buy one yet since she didn’t know what she was doing or where she was going. She’d accomplished a lot by getting a wardrobe. She hadn’t owned more than two pair of jeans at any given time in the last few years and this was overwhelming. It was incredible to think how far she had come in the past few days.
As she sat down on a bench inside the mall to wait for the taxi, she thought more about what she wanted. She wanted to go back to school, get into a nice college. She wanted the style and grace that came so easily to someone like Maida. Joy could copy that. It was not hard and some of it came naturally. Her mother had it in spades, but Joy hadn’t realized she was taking that in. It had just always been there. She’d been too busy enjoying her life, being herself, even being the rebellious tomboy, to notice she was absorbing those things. As she thought about them now, consciously thought about them, she realized she wanted to be like her mother that way. She
wanted the poise, the style, and the grace, but she didn’t have a clue how to obtain it, so for now, she could fake it.
She saw the taxi and gathered up the many bags again, making her way out of the mall. “Thank you,” she said to the kind man who held the door for her. When he leapt forward and opened the outer door too, she smiled and said, “That’s so kind of you. Have a nice evening.” It was not hard to be polite or courteous and the words she wouldn’t have uttered just a short while ago came easily as she realized she was slipping into the persona she wanted to emulate. The taxi driver saw her heading straight for him and got out of the cab, popping the trunk as she walked up. “Oh, thank you,” she said, relieved, as he helped her put the many bags and boxes into the trunk. As she got into the backseat of the taxi she started to marvel at the way her life had already changed in so short a time. She gave him the address of the hotel, grateful she had a place to go that night as the thick snow came down and the cold wind blew against the car.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Joy realized she really needed to think about her future. Yes, she had pretty clothes, she had very nice clothes now. And after going back to the mall, adding to her wardrobe, she had enough to last her a while and could use more of the luggage set she had bought herself. She couldn’t, however, live in the hotel forever. She needed to make some decisions about where she was going to go, what she was going to do with her life, and how she would get there. She had no idea how to do that. As the cab brought her back from the mall the second time—this time not nearly as laden down with packages, but enough that she was thoroughly sick of malls—she looked out at the Christmas lights twinkling on the many homes and nostalgically remembered her own parents making her holidays the best a child could ask for. She hadn’t missed the envy and annoyance on her siblings’ faces, but she ignored it, as she always had, pretending not to see it or the digs she would get later, the cutting remarks meant to hurt deep. She shrugged off those memories, concentrating on remembering her parents and enjoying the lights. It told her though, she needed to do something, anything, and sitting in a hotel room, shopping every day, was not going to cut it.
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