by CJ Thomas
17
Kelly
I caught sight of Kendra stepping out of the bathroom.
God, she was gorgeous. It was no wonder half the men here tonight couldn’t stop staring in her direction. Look at them now. The way they easily forgot the women they were with, lost in fantasies of what it would be like to experience Kendra’s natural beauty and spontaneity.
A chuckle filled my chest knowing that she was mine—all mine—and I wasn’t about to let her go.
That dazzling cherry red gown was like a beacon of hope in a sea of mediocrity. It caught my eye the first time I laid eyes on it, and without seeing how it would look on Kendra, I’d known that she and that gown would be an incredible match. And what a way to surprise me with purchasing it, just for me, as if this world-class meal wasn’t enough.
The smell of grilled meats and sweetly scented dressings made me smile. My stomach grumbled and I gave the young man serving me a knowing look.
“Enjoy your dinner, Mr. Black.” He smiled.
I eyed him, checking if he could smell the sex I’d just had here in the booth. There wasn’t anything in his face that told me he could, and I liked that we were able to get away with a quick release before we moved into what I hoped would be a thoroughly enjoyable dinner.
“Before you go,” I held up my finger, “more drinks. The same.”
He nodded. “Of course.”
Seeing as Kendra’s first glass of wine was nearly finished, I wasn’t about to let her talk me out of not having another simply because I wasn’t drinking alcohol with her. It didn’t matter. I knew she would want another, and I wanted her to enjoy herself. Tonight was meant to be relaxing, an escape from the stresses of my job and a way to better get to know one another.
As I marveled at the presentation of both our meals, my hands tingled and I felt weightless. Not wanting our dinner to grow cold, I turned my attention back to Kendra. She hadn’t moved from where she was standing and I wondered what—or who—had stolen her attention.
She was the most beautiful woman here tonight. That much I knew for certain. Her skin radiated against that dress, and the way she had her hair done in a French twist was enough to get me hard all over again.
The young man was back with our drinks and I thanked him before sending him on his way, reminding him, “We’re good. I’ll call if there is anything else we need.” I didn’t want to chance him returning if for some reason Kendra and I decided on a repeat of our appetizer.
When I turned my attention back to Kendra, I watched her make her way to me. She floated on her feet and I appreciated how gracefully she moved between the tables. Grinning from ear to ear like a school boy in love, I was eager to see how many men stopped mid-conversation to watch with a dropped jaw as she passed. But when she approached, the smile that filled my face slowly drooped into a concerned frown.
Something was wrong.
Without hesitating, I went to my feet, grabbing Kendra’s shriveled body in my hands before she fell over. “Bella, what is it?”
Her chin hung low as she shook her head. I slowly guided her into the booth, seeing just how pale her face really was. Her unblinking eyes were dull and she didn’t answer, just stared quietly down at the table.
“Are you feeling okay?”
It was like she wasn’t even there. Then, after a minute of my mind racing to understand what had happened to my fun date, she snapped out of it.
Turning to look at me, I knew immediately that dinner was no longer on tonight’s menu. She was cold to the touch and without asking I said, “Grab your things. We’re going home.”
She blinked. “What about the meal?”
I pulled her to her feet and threaded my fingers through hers. I didn’t give a shit about the meal. It was her that had me worried. And whatever it was that happened in that short time she was gone, I knew that the only chance I had at taking her mind off of it was to leave now.
We weaved through the maze of tables as we briskly walked to the exit. This time I didn’t care who was looking or watching. We passed a table of two and the woman looked up with a face like she knew who Kendra was. Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed Kendra duck her head as a tremble worked its way down her arm.
I didn’t think too much of it, instead concentrating on leaving the building as fast as we could. Once outside, Maxwell pulled to the curb and I assisted Kendra into the backseat with me quick to follow. We rode in silence, the partition up, not bothering to buckle up.
My arm draped over her shoulder and I pulled her against my chest. She quickly snuggled deep into my side without saying anything. I could feel her heart beating like a drum into the night, and with each minute that passed, her fingers clenched more of my shirt.
“Do you ever see things that you think are real,” her voice was barely a whisper, “but really aren’t?”
Angling my head down to hers, my hand lifted as I petted her hair. Quietly, I wondered what it was she was talking about. And when I had nothing, I asked, “Did you see something at the restaurant?”
Her head lifted off my chest and she clawed up my body with heavy lids. Without answering my question, she pressed her fluttery lips against mine.
Her skin was still frozen to the touch as I held her in my arms. Lightly pressing my tongue against hers, I tried my best to warm her. With each panting breath, I attempted to smooth out the prickles covering her body. They refused to go down no matter what I did or how I touched her.
A full body tremor rocked her core and had my eyes go wide. Kendra was like a broken child needing protection and an agonizing pain twisted my insides knowing that no matter what I did nothing seemed to ease the pain she was feeling deep inside.
When I felt the motion of the vehicle stop, I turned my head to see that we had arrived back to my penthouse hotel. “C’mon. Let’s get you inside.”
Kendra peeled herself away from me and pulled her dress down her legs. Taking her by her hand, I snaked my other arm around her waist and held her on her feet as we marched through the lobby without stopping.
With each step we shared, I felt Kendra grow stronger.
We shared a glance and I smiled, appreciating the way she gathered the broken pieces of her soul and collected them into the woman who was holding her head high. She radiated a sense of strength that I hadn’t seen on her until now. And I liked what I saw.
Once at the elevator, I dug inside my back pocket and pulled out my keycard. Flashing it in front of the reader, a car was on its way and I turned my attention back to the woman who made me believe that anything could be possible.
“You feeling better?” I took her shoulders into my hands and squeezed.
She nodded. “Thanks for recognizing my need to leave.”
Leaning forward, I pressed my lips against hers. She kissed me back, adding more heat than what she’d offered on the drive here. I knew she was strong. Knew that she could handle adversity. But this was different. This was divine.
When the car doors slid open behind me, I released Kendra and guided her inside first. Together, we watched the doors close and as soon as we started our ascent to my penthouse level, Kendra turned to me and pushed me back against the wall.
Smashing her lips against mine, I parted my mouth and she instantly recognized the opportunity to dart her tongue against mine.
We clawed at each other until we became breathless.
Her fingers worked to untuck my shirt and freed me from the confines of my suit.
Lowering myself, I reached between her legs as she dove her hand inside my pants. I cupped her hot mound, thrusting my finger between her slick folds as she squeezed my shaft. She was as needy as I, and a deep, desperate passion grew with each thrust of a tongue and pump of a wrist.
The moment Kendra’s tongue left my mouth, I pushed off the wall in an attempt to flip her around. Surprising me, Kendra held her ground, and with one hand firmly planted in my chest, she shoved me back, refusing me to leave the wall.
I chuckled and only got harder.
Whispering close to my ear, she said, “Tell me how much you like my tight little cunt.”
My finger was soaked as I move it around inside her. “I love your tight little cunt.”
She squeezed my length hard enough to make me wince. I watched her face fill with satisfaction. “Now push my face into the wall and tell me not to make a sound.”
Digging my nails deep into the soft flesh of her arm, I muscled her away from me and spun her around until I found myself caging her against the wall with all my weight. Once again, I reached under her dress, quickly finding her hot pussy waiting for my pursuit. Thrusting her with two fingers, I growled next to her ear, “Now don’t make a sound.”
Her face twisted with agony as I pressed the flat part of my palm against the side of her head, pinning her face against the cold metal wall. I could tell she liked it as her hips writhed on my hand. Her walls tightened around my fingers and I knew she was close to coming.
“Tell me you can have me whenever you want,” she snarled as the elevator slowed to a stop.
Licking her ear, I repeated her words. “I can have your tight pussy whenever I want.”
She screamed into the wall and let out a monstrous moan.
As soon as the doors opened, I pulled my hand away and pushed her out of the car and down the hall toward the door to my apartment. Kendra hung off my shoulder as I worked to unlock the door. Whatever had gotten into her wasn’t about to end. I could see it in her eyes. The way she searched my face, looking for answers that to puzzles that had to be solved. I was so painfully hard, I couldn’t wait to kick this door open and continue my assault on her.
“Fuck me from behind, Kelly,” she barked as soon as I kicked the door open. “Pull down your pants and fuck me from behind.”
Fire burned in my belly and my nostrils flared as the primal need to claim her zipped down my spine. Without hesitating, I tossed her face-first over the couch with enough force to knock the wind from her lungs. Dropping my pants to my knees, I thrust myself deep inside her.
Kendra grunted into the pillow with each powerful lunge I inflicted upon her fragile body and my muscles tightened as I held her head down.
“You want it rough?” she cried.
My arm and leg muscles flexed as I bucked my hips harder.
“That’s it.”
I slammed into her quick and fast with selfish need. “This little cunt is mine,” I said, pushing her face harder into the pillow. “Don’t you fucking say a word,” I growled through gritted teeth, feeling the heat spin fast at the base of my spine.
Stars flashed across my eyes and the room spun when my cock thickened in agony. Moving inside her faster, soon I was shooting my seed deep against her cervix, curling over her and hugging her tight around her sweaty waist.
I stayed there, allowing my lungs to fill with air, and didn’t move until I went limp. Kendra was silent and lifeless. Her eyes were wide and I wondered where she’d gone—yet again.
Then a tear streamed down her face.
Stepping back, my heart broke thinking that I had something to do with her crying. “Bella, no. What did I do to hurt you?”
Another tear fell from her eye and she sniffed. “It’s not you.”
Moving around the couch, I dropped to my knees so that I could be there next to her. “Tell me.” I gently stroked her face. “I hate to see you crying. What did I do?”
She blinked and several more tears scurried down her cheek. “I can’t, Kelly. I just can’t.”
My head lifted and I slowly backed away from her face. Inside I felt hollow and helpless. I didn’t understand what she meant. Was it me she couldn’t do? Or just the sex? “Talk to me, Bella.”
Kendra finally pushed herself up, backing away from the couch she was draped over and said, “Me, talk?”
I looked at her with big round eyes filled with fear.
“What about you?” She wiped her cheeks dry.
“I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.” I swallowed the stone forming in the back of my throat.
“Touché,” she said, curling into a tiny ball on the chair opposite the couch.
Not wanting to argue with her, knowing full well that something much larger was going on inside her head, I made my way to the master bath and started filling the tub.
It hurt me to see her like this. Broke my heart to think that I’d done something to make her crumble inside. As I watched the steam fill the air, I replayed the events of last night and today, trying to figure out what was happening to the woman I thought I knew.
Once the tub was filled, I found Kendra still in the chair, hugging her knees to her chest, staring out into nothing in particular. Without asking, I bent down and picked her up. She hung on to me as I padded my way back to the tub. Once inside the bathroom, I helped her undress before slipping her into the water. A second later I joined her. Wrapping my arms around her I held her, thinking we were going to have to put our game of submission on hold until I knew exactly what was eating her up inside.
Because, if we didn’t, it might just be enough to destroy us.
18
Kendra
“Your tight little cunt feels so good.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, not liking the smell of his hot alcoholic breath on my face.
“God, girl.” He dug the tips of his fingers deep into my hip bone. “I’m here to take care of you.”
Lifting my hips, I reached my hand above my head and took the bedsheets between my fingers. Gripping with all my might, I tried to claw my way to freedom. He pulled me back beneath him and worked to undo his belt. A second later my back arched up off the blankets as he slammed into me hard.
“Stop! You’re hurting me,” I cried as he tore my insides apart.
I kicked and flailed, wincing between the sharp pangs of excruciating pain. It felt like he had set a fire between my legs. It burned and there was nothing I could do to get away. He was so big, too strong, and no matter how much I cried for him to stop, he didn’t.
“Shut up!” His fingers tightened around my skull and smashed my cheek further into the mattress. “Don’t make a sound.”
My pleas for help were drowned out, suffocated by the comforter of my bed. A hot liquid dripped from my insides and he kept going.
Soon I’d get used to the pain—grow numb to it.
This wasn’t the first time he visited me at night. He said Dad told him to come. It would make us sleep better, he said. But I never did ask Dad after the first time, too embarrassed by the bleeding the day after. It hurt to sit, and concentrating in school was impossible. All I could think about was him and how he’d hurt me and how much I wished that I wouldn’t see him again.
He grunted over my body, his heavy belly coating my back in his sweat. My jaw clenched and I kept my eyes closed. If I tried hard enough, I could fly away and be somewhere else. My imagination was that good. But I had to try really hard, and he wasn’t making it easy for me to think about anything other than the shooting pain zipping up my spine.
He told me that he loved me. That he would do anything for family. But I didn’t believe him. He was a monster at night, and monsters lied and hurt innocent girls.
I couldn’t breathe. He was too heavy. So heavy he crushed me. And when it all got to be too much, the pain resided as the warm metallic taste of my own blood filled my mouth.
Gasping for air, I flung my hands around my neck. Springing up in bed, I coughed the blood into the palm of my hand. Feeling my tongue swell against my molars, I knew that I had bitten it, clenched down on the soft muscle just like the hundreds of times before.
Hanging my head, I sighed.
Wiping the sweat off my brow, I stuck my finger in my mouth and touched the injury to see if it was as deep as some of the other times. Each time I bit my tongue—even if it was only an accident during a meal—it transported me back to those dark and ominous nights as a child I wished I could escape.
&n
bsp; Reaching for Kelly, I frantically searched the bed before coming up empty.
He was gone.
I didn’t know where he was, just that he wasn’t here now. My mind struggled to recall the events leading up to when we decided to finally come to bed. I knew what happened at the restaurant. What I thought I saw and how Kelly ordered we leave without first eating. I could remember the way I acted in the elevator and how Kelly held me tenderly without saying a word while soaking late into the night as our bodies floated in the tub.
My eyes widened as I began to hyperventilate.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Again and again, I worked to calm the anxiety threatening to erupt inside me. After I managed to settle the panic attack working its way through my body, loneliness took over.
Looking around with a longing gaze, I was too afraid to breathe. My limbs were frozen in place and I feared Kelly had abandoned me. But could I really blame him if he had? I was broken. An emotional wreck. And if I kept having these hallucinations of seeing my rapist and sweating through nightmares that came along with it, it would only be a matter of time before he decided I wasn’t worth it anymore.
My head turned and my ears perked.
The room was too quiet and I didn’t like it.
My insides jumped at the crackling of a heater or the quiet hum of the refrigerator. Even from the back bedroom, I could hear the sounds in the kitchen. Finally, I found the courage to flop back onto my pillow and close my eyes.
A minute later, my heart settled and found its normal rhythm.
I continued to breathe as I stretched my hands far above my head.
The longer I laid there, the more I convinced myself that my brain was playing tricks on me. This was all just a bad dream. It wasn’t Kelly’s fault any more than it was my own. He was my happy place, the reason to get out of bed every morning. It was important that I didn’t associate him with any of my nightmares or triggers to bring my horrible past back into the present. He was my present. A gift to be treasured, not taken for granted.