Then his cock was notched at my entrance. “Hunter . . .”
“Don’t talk,” he gritted. Fingers sinking into my flesh, he jerked my hips back, slamming up inside me.
I cried out as he planted a hand at the base of my neck and bent me forward. I twisted, watching him over my shoulder. He’d dipped his chin, eyes locked on where we were joined.
His big body shook as he stretched me, filling me like no one else, wrenching a helpless moan past my lips. Hunter was big. I’d forgotten how big. I didn’t have time to catch my breath, though, because he pulled out suddenly then slammed back into me. Then he kept on slamming, hard and relentless. He hissed, cursing over and over before breaking off on a gasped cry that lifted the hair at the back of my neck. His hands were hard, rough, demanding—holding me down, jerking me back—fucking into me with a desperation we were both feeling. I dug my nails into his ass, clawing at the taut muscle, mindless, hungry for more, for everything he had.
My belly clenched at the fire, the rage—the lust, burning from his eyes as he watched himself fuck me, teeth gritted, nostrils flaring.
I twisted, reached back, desperately needing some kind of connection. I tried to touch his face, but could only reach his throat, the pulse there pounding thick and heavy. His eyes shot up, locking on mine, and all that anger and heat scorched me, burned me from the inside out.
“Hunter . . .” I gasped, on the verge of begging him to give me more, something, anything.
He jerked, a shudder slicing through him. His eyes flared for a split second, and what I saw flash through them was painful to look at—then the shutters slammed down. And it was gone.
Nothing.
I flinched, my hands flying to the tangled sheets in front of me, fisting them, holding on tight as he pounded into me from behind.
I could feel those now dead eyes locked on me the whole time. His hands were at my hips, slamming my body down on his cock at the same time as he thrust inside, drilling me hard enough to knock the oxygen from my lungs. I turned away from him, stared at the fraying, floral curtains across the room, trying to fight the orgasm building hard and fast.
“Fucking look at me, Lulu,” Hunter snarled.
An anguished sound, like a wounded animal, tore from my throat. I didn’t want to look at him. I’d survived the last few years greedily reliving memories of this man when the lights went out, the only man I’d ever loved. I couldn’t look into his hate-filled eyes, not while he was inside me. I couldn’t.
He leaned forward and rough fingers grabbed my jaw, forcing me to do as he said, twisting my head to look at him. “I said look. At. Me.”
I could tell him to stop. I knew he would if I said the words. I could fight him. But I didn’t, I wouldn’t. Shame flooded me—that I’d allowed this to happen, that I’d done this to myself. And that despite everything, I wanted it still. Was so desperate for something, anything from him, that I would lay here and take his punishment, and enjoy every damn second. Because in the end, I was as messed up as him.
His lip curled in some twisted version of a smile. It wasn’t a nice smile. He knew what I was thinking, was reading every thought in my head through my eyes. He’d always been able to do that.
“You’ll always spread for my cock, won’t you, Lulu?” He let go of my jaw and trailed a hand to my breast, squeezing hard then tugged on my nipple. I felt it in my pussy. He felt it too, his eyes getting heavy before he grinned.
Humiliation burned my cheeks. “I hate you,” I whispered. It wasn’t true, but right then I wished it were. He certainly didn’t deserve my hate. But hating him would hurt a hell of a lot less than loving him. Maybe if I said it enough times, I might actually start to believe it.
His grin vanished. “Oh, I know you do, sweetheart. But you’re still going to come all over my cock, aren’t you?”
He trailed his fingers down from the corner of my eye, the action painfully slow, then over my flushed cheek to drag across my bottom lip. His thrusting hips had slowed as well.
“Such a lovely face for such a traitorous bitch.”
“Please,” I gasped and shook my head, even as I shamelessly arched against him, silently asking for more. I needed him to stop. I couldn’t listen to the contempt in his voice, his hate-filled words. But my body was betraying me. Even as I pleaded with him, I’d sunk my nails into his skin, holding him close, grinding my hips back, silently asking for him to move faster.
The grin returned because I still hadn’t said the words. I still hadn’t asked him to stop and we both knew why. I wanted him. I’d never stop wanting him.
He dragged his thumb roughly across my lip and when his gaze came back to me, that coldness had dropped, the fire and anger was back, and burning brighter than ever.
“How many other poor assholes did you screw over?”
He tugged on my nipple again, making me gasp.
“How many times did you follow orders like a good girl and take one for the team?”
“No . . . that’s not . . .”
He ground his cock deeper, and I broke off on a whimper because it felt so damn good. Better than good, better than anything.
“They have a name for that. You know what that is, don’t you Lulu?”
“Shut up.” Tears slid down my face. I gritted my teeth to stop from falling apart.
He grunted and started to move faster, pounding harder, and the burn, the delicious burn between my legs intensified. I was on the verge of coming, but I didn’t want it, not like this. I didn’t want it. But instead of telling him to get off, I squeezed my thigh over his, reached back and gripped his firm ass tighter, afraid he’d pull away.
But he didn’t pull away. He tugged down the cup of my bra, leaned over, and sucked a nipple into his mouth. His teeth grazed then bit down before he slid his tongue across the aching peak to relieve the sting, doing what he always used to do, what always did it for me. I thrashed against him, panic grabbing me by the throat as everything inside me tightened. My emotions were all over the place. I wanted to come so bad it hurt, but this was wrong, so damn wrong. I dug my nails into his skin hard enough to draw blood. He laughed, rough and low, because he knew what was about to happen.
Reaching down, he slid his fingers over my swollen clit and thrust deep once more. And I was coming, screaming through it until my throat felt raw. Releasing all the anger, the pain, pounding through me. My body convulsed uncontrollably against his. I felt him looking down at me, watching me. It didn’t matter that I had my eyes closed—I knew he hadn’t taken his off me once.
I didn’t remember doing it, but my hand was now at his back, and I shivered at the way the muscles tightened. I felt his grunt when he came, setting off aftershocks of pleasure inside me. My body jerked with each one, strange little mewing sounds coming from the back of my throat, sounds I had no control over.
He collapsed behind me, breathing hard, skin slick and hot. I lay limp beside him.
The bed shook when he moved suddenly, pulling from my body and climbing off the mattress. I felt his come start to trickle out of me, and the realization of what I’d just done hit me. God, how could I have let this happen?
I rolled to my back. “Hunter . . .” What? What the hell could I say after that? I shoved my hair off my face and sat up.
He didn’t look at me, just yanked his jeans up and tucked himself back in.
I waited for him to say something, anything.
He said nothing, turned his back on me, and, without a backward glance, walked out.
CHAPTER FIVE
Hunter
I sat at the kitchen table, watching the sunrise filtering through the pine trees.
I’d been in this spot all night, drinking coffee and trying to stop myself from going back into that room and having her again.
“Fuck.” I lifted my mug to my lips then put it back down. The coffee had grown cold, bitter. A lot like me. Well, the bitter part at least. I’d been anything but cold since I’d laid eyes on Lulu.
<
br /> What the fuck is wrong with me?
The thought fired through my head for the hundredth time. Fucking her had never been part of the plan. But my body hadn’t forgotten how it felt, having her sleep beside me like that, pressed against mine, warm and soft, and I’d been pulled from my sleep. I rubbed my hands over my face, growling when I smelled her on my fingers. Her scent had me in a constant state of arousal, confusing the shit out of me. Rage and hatred fired my blood, even as my cock throbbed behind my zipper. This relentless, unwanted longing behind my ribs made it hard to damn well think straight.
Worse? I hadn’t been able to make myself wash her off me, tormenting myself since I walked out of that bedroom, wanting her scent on me. I hated myself for that weakness.
I’d let the bitch get to me. As soon as I woke, cock hard to the point of pain, and she’d pushed back, making it clear she’d let me have her—I fucking snapped. I couldn’t fight it, not anymore. I hated myself for that, too.
My phone started vibrating against the table, dragging me out of my own head, back to my current goal. I stared down at the screen.
Unknown caller.
I knew exactly who it was.
The day before, after I’d lost it and locked Lulu back up, leaving her to plot her escape in the bathroom, I’d used my contacts to get word out that I had her.
That information had obviously found its way to the right ears.
I picked up the phone. “That was quick.”
Silence, then, “I understand you have something of mine.”
The fucked-up monster inside me snarled. Not yours. Mine. Yeah, the sooner this was over and she was out of my life for good, the better.
My fingers curled around the cold coffee mug, hard enough I was surprised it didn’t shatter. “And I’ll be happy to give her back . . . for a price.”
“What do you want?” he said, not missing a beat.
Just the sound of Pierce’s voice, that superior fucking tone, like he still had a right to talk to me like the hired help, sent my rage through the damn roof. I refused to show him how much he got to me. I’d never give him that satisfaction again.
“Money,” I lied. “Compensation for the time I sent inside.” I rattled off a figure.
“Fine.”
As I suspected, he agreed easily. He didn’t give a fuck about much, but when it came to Lulu, I doubted any price was too high. It was hard to describe, the way he was with her. The job I did for Pierce meant I was only around them occasionally, but when I was, it was impossible to miss. I wouldn’t call it love exactly, more like she was his most precious possession, or favorite fucking toy.
“When?” I asked.
“I’ll need a couple of days,” he said smoothly.
I’ll bet he did. He needed time to crawl out of whatever hole he’d been hiding in and rally his henchmen. “Where?”
“I’ll text you the location closer to the time.”
I knew he needed money, which meant I had to be extra careful. Pierce had no intention of paying me. He’d be prepared to get Lulu back by any means.
“Don’t make me wait too long,” I said.
He was silent a beat. “Oh I won’t. I’m eager to get her back.”
The way he said that lifted the hair on the back of my neck. I shut it down, ignored the way his words put me on high alert. It wasn’t real. My head was all over the damn place right now. I couldn’t trust anything, not when Lulu was involved, not even my own instincts.
“If only you’d left her alone,” Pierce said before I could disconnect. “Things could have turned out so differently.”
Lulu
I woke to the sound of Hunter’s tense voice, muffled through the bedroom door.
Somehow I’d fallen back to sleep after what happened, after he walked out. I was still in the position he’d left me, flat on my back, in only a bra, shorts hooked around one ankle. I reached down and dragged them and my undies up, covering myself. My body ached in a way I used to love. Now it only made me feel like shit. He’d treated me like the whore he thought I was. Had used something that was once beautiful between us to punish me. And I’d let him.
The realization that I hadn’t panicked when we fucked last night hit me next. I’d wondered for a long time if that would ever be possible, if I could be with someone again and not flip out. But then Hunter wasn’t just anyone. I’d always been okay with him. A lot of things had changed now, though. Thankfully, he hadn’t pinned me on my back last night.
My emotions had been so raw that all I’d been able to think about was how much I wanted him, how much I’d missed him. There’d been no room for anything else. God, I’d been in denial when we first got together, in a messed-up kind of fantasy world, where Hunter was my hero, and the bastard who controlled me, hurt me, would never get the chance again. I’d pushed it all down deep, buried it, the memories, the pain, the fear. I’d convinced myself it couldn’t touch me, not anymore.
I’d been wrong. So damn wrong. There was no fantasy world, and there was no burying what happened to me. I’d learned that the hard way.
I shoved my hands in my hair and slumped back.
The conversation going on in the living room was one-sided, so I knew he was talking on the phone. I strained to hear, but couldn’t make out anything he was saying.
Lying in here all day, hiding, wasn’t an option. He’d come back through that door sooner or later. I pulled myself into a sitting position, and winced at the deep throb between my legs. My body wasn’t used to Hunter’s size anymore and I was feeling it.
I’d only been with three men in my life. With two of those men it had been consensual, and only one of them had meant something to me. Hunter, the only man I’d ever loved. Then, after I ran, I screwed some guy in a bathroom stall at a club. The guy vaguely reminded me of Hunter. In the darkness, I could almost convince myself it was him. I felt so alone, so goddamn alone. I let him fuck me, desperately grasping for something, some kind of connection. I’d lost it before he’d finished, freaked out completely and he’d taken off . . .
The third man, I refused to think about.
My hair fell forward and I brushed it back, wincing when I felt the bump on my head.
Jesus, I’d screwed everything up.
And now, the only man who’d ever meant anything to me had just taken away all I had left of him. The memory of us. The tenderness we’d once shared. I didn’t know how much more I could take.
The door flung open, and I jumped. Hunter stared at me from the open doorway, and I felt my face heat, humiliation burning its way up my neck. I’d let him have sex with me after he told me just how much he hated me. I was pathetic, and we both knew it.
He moved in, tagged my tank off the floor, and flung it at me. “Get dressed.”
I kept my eyes down and yanked it over my head, covering myself. He moved closer, kneeling in front of me so he could unlock the chain around my ankle. His fingers grazed my skin and gooseflesh lifted on my arms, down the back of my neck. I seriously needed help.
He looked up at me, eyes glittering, taking in my flushed face. “Don’t tell me you regret what happened last night, Lulu?”
His voice was mocking, dripping with sarcasm. I looked away, stared over his shoulder. “Momentary insanity.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think you’ve wanted what I gave you for a long time. You couldn’t get enough.” He chuckled, a sound that I was growing to loathe. “Fuck, you were so wet I had you all over me, the way you were grinding against me. Fucking desperate. I was embarrassed for you.”
Before I could stop myself, my hand shot out and I slapped him hard across the face, so hard a red mark appeared almost instantly. His eyes turned cold and hot at the same time and he hissed a breath through his teeth, visibly trying to control his temper. Grabbing my wrists roughly, he shoved me to my back, covering me, pressing me into the mattress, and got in my face.
He didn’t speak, just shoved my thighs wide and ground his
hard cock between my legs. I gasped, sucking in a startled breath. Those eyes did not leave mine as he held me immobile beneath him, as one of his hands drifted down over my stomach. I froze as he cupped me over my shorts, horrified when my hips lifted, seeking more. I had no control over myself when he was near. My pride up and took a hike.
“You think I’m happy that you still do this to me?” He ground into me again. “After what you did, you think I’m celebrating the fact my dick still wants what’s under these shorts?”
Without a word, he undid them.
I started to struggle, a weak attempt that was halfhearted at best. He slid his hand inside.
My heart started hammering in my chest. I tried to pull my hands free, but he wasn’t having it. That’s when panic surged inside me, hard and fast.
His eyes flared as he dragged a thick finger through my drenched folds. Then he pushed it inside me, before dragging it back out, starting a slow, torturous pace that had my back arching off the bed. My body was no longer under my control. I was a mix of panic and uncontrollable lust. I had no choice but to keep my eyes on him. It was the only way to stay grounded, in the here and now, to stop my mind from taking me to a place I never allowed myself to go.
He had me close to the edge in a matter of seconds. My breathing got heavier, my skin hot and flushed the closer I got to release. My lips parted on a low moan, and just when I was hitting the peak, half a second from coming all over his finger, he took it away, leaving me cold. I sagged back with a whimper. His big body hovered above me, and I blinked up at him. He smirked and lifted the finger he’d just had inside me and held it in front of my face.
It was glistening, covered in me. Evidence of my complete and utter lack of self-control, not to mention self-respect, driving his point home.
I couldn’t move, held in place by his intense stare. His gaze dropped to my mouth, and then he slid that finger across my bottom lip. Mine parted with a gasp.
His nostrils flared and I felt his body freeze, every muscle going rock solid. Something flickered in his eyes, something I never thought I’d see again. He brought his face in closer to mine. I held still, too afraid to move, to breathe. He snarled suddenly, like he had no control over the action and it pissed him off. Then his tongue darted out, gliding over my lip, licking it clean.
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