She did as I asked, stepping into the warm water. I went to my knees beside her and, taking a washcloth, lathered it up with bodywash. She’d tied her hair up, out of the way, so I started on her shoulders and back. Her head dropped forward and she moaned softly. Fuck. Another hit to my aching balls.
“Josh is an amazing kid,” I said into the silence. “You’ve done a great job with him.”
She stiffened, but just for a moment. “Thanks.” I barely heard her, she was talking so quiet.
“I know you’re used to doing shit on your own, and I know it won’t be easy for you at first, but I want some of that burden you’ve been carrying.”
“My son’s not a burden.”
There was steel in her voice this time. I preferred it to how damn broken she sounded a second ago. “No, he’s not. He’s a miracle, is what he is. If you hadn’t had that little boy, giving you something else to focus on, to worry about, to keep you moving forward. To live for . . .” Just saying those words were a gut punch, but I shook it off and kept on talking. “I hate to think what might have happened to you. After what Pierce did, babe, that could’ve destroyed you.”
Her shoulders tensed. “Hunter . . .”
“Let me finish.” I moved the cloth to her front and slid it over her chest, and her head dropped back against my arm. “You blow me away. You’re so damn strong. But you’ve buried what happened for too long, all of it. It’s time to work through it. I know it’ll never be gone completely, but babe, I can see you fighting to keep it locked down, so hard it’s fucking crippling you. You opened up to me, and that opened the floodgates. Don’t slam them shut again.”
I knew how dangerous it was, locking that kind of shit away, shoving it down deep. I’d seen it with my own mother, seen how what she’d been though had slowly but surely destroyed her. My father had stood by and let her sink, too caught up in his own damn pain and anger to notice. I wouldn’t let that happen to Lulu. No fucking way.
She was quiet a long time, so long I thought she wasn’t going to say anything.
“You don’t understand,” she finally rasped. “You don’t get it. If I let it out . . . if I—. . .” She cut herself off abruptly and bit her lip.
“Let me help you. Tell me what you need.” I trailed my hand down over her stomach. “Let me get you through this. Let me be there for you and Josh. Where I belong. Where I was always meant to be.”
I skimmed the cloth lower and kept on moving down her leg. She leaned back farther, slid down in the water deeper, watching me as I moved. I could feel her eyes on me, my side, on the ink there. Then around to my back. Her name. I’d put it there a month after we got together. Knew even before then she was meant to be mine. Had never stopped wanting her. Even when I tried, even when I believed she’d betrayed me, I never stopped wanting her.
As I slid the cloth back up, and her knees lifted, then fell open. The water was murky from the body wash, but not that fucking murky. She was totally exposed and so damn beautiful.
I looked up at her. Her eyes were on me, lids heavy. She wasn’t hiding what she wanted. Not at all. Jesus. She was gorgeous. Face flushed, lips plump. Tits floating in the water, nipples dark, making my mouth water.
“Please,” she whispered. “This is what I need. I just want to feel good. I just want to forget. Make me forget, Hunter.”
I could deny her nothing. And why would I? She trusted me with her body. After everything that happened with Pierce—after the way I’d treated her—she still wanted this from me. I didn’t think she fully realized the significance of that, what that meant. But I did. And it was huge.
I hadn’t given her many reasons to trust me since I’d been back in her life, but I’d make sure I proved I was worthy of it.
I’d prove it to her every damn day, for the rest of our lives.
Lulu
Those intense blue eyes seemed to darken right in front of me.
The cloth in his hand whispered past my thigh and drifted to the bottom of the tub. Then his hand was on me, the rough skin of his palm sliding around to my inner thigh.
“You wanna feel good? I’ll make you feel good, always.” His tongue darted out, dampening his lower lip, and damn I felt that, right between my thighs, like he’d licked me. A groan slipped past my lips. It was an anguished sound, but I had no control over it. Right then, I needed him to stop talking. Everything that came out of his mouth made me want what I knew I couldn’t have, made it all ten times harder.
I pulled my knees higher, exposing more of myself to his heated gaze. I wanted his hands on me, not declarations. I knew he was trying to make it better, but it just hurt more to hear them. “Touch me, please.”
His hand crept higher, bypassing where I needed him. I whimpered and wriggled my hips, asking for what I wanted without words. The water on my bare skin felt so good, and just looking at Hunter, having him this close, his fingers digging into my flesh, made me near out of my mind with want. That big hand came up to my chest, cupping me, thumb and forefinger squeezing and tugging on my nipple. I felt that between my thighs as well.
He slid his palm to the underside of my breast and lifted it higher, out of the water, then leaned forward and took the hardened peak into his mouth, sucking me gently. My head dropped back to the edge of the tub and I moaned, loudly. Too good. Not enough.
He played with me, my wet fingers thrust in his hair, until I was forced to squeeze my thighs together to quiet the deep throbbing ache. Finally, he pulled back and I watched as he slid his hand down between my legs, cupping me. “This where you want me?”
“Yes. God, yes.” I couldn’t keep my hips still as he dragged his fingers through my cleft.
“Like this?” His voice was nothing but a growl.
I gripped his wrist, afraid he’d stop. “Push them inside,” I panted, mindless, unable to control what was coming out of my mouth, too far gone to care. “Fuck me with your fingers. Make me come, please.”
He hissed out a breath, and my lust-glazed eyes lifted, focused back on his face instead of what his hand was doing. Dear God, he was beautiful. Lust distorted his face, making him look harder and wilder all at once.
“Fuck,” he growled, and stood suddenly.
Then his hands were under my pits and I was hauled out of the tub. Water went everywhere, covering the floor, soaking through Hunter’s jeans as he dragged me up against him. One hand went to my ass, the other to the back of my head, and he slammed his mouth down on mine as he lifted me off the ground. His tongue thrust deep into my mouth, and I swallowed his deep groan, the vibrations of it teasing my damp nipples. The sodden denim of his jeans rubbed against my pussy when he pulled my legs around his hips. I took full advantage, undulating against him, trying to get myself off.
I gasped when my clit grazed over the fabric, wrapped my arms around his shoulders and dry humped him like a bitch in heat. This was what I needed, this washed everything else away. When I was with Hunter, I didn’t have to think. There was no fear. When his hands were on me, all I could do was feel. That’s all I wanted. That’s all I could take right now.
I’d never been more turned on. I was drenched, my skin burning up, horny as hell. I reached down, grabbed his hard cock through his jeans, and squeezed the rigid flesh. “Fuck me,” I nipped at his throat, his ear. “Please. I need you to fuck me.”
His larger hand covered mine, pulling it away from his beautiful dick. “Lulu . . .”
“Please, I want it. I need it. I need to feel your cock moving inside me.”
“Lulu . . .”
I was rubbing against him still, on the edge, close to coming from just that. My head went back as I felt it building, mouth dropping open.
And then he was gone, the space between my thighs was empty and my ass connected with the shockingly cold vanity.
Hunter was standing a few feet away, wet from me, skin slick from the bath water, chest heaving, expression fierce.
“Fuck, Lulu.” He dragged a hand though his hair,
breathing like he’d run the ten-minute-mile.
I was aching and confused, hovering on the edge of an orgasm. I spread my legs, shimmying to the edge. My skin flushed, tight and tingly. “Please,” I begged, and didn’t give a damn how pathetic I sounded.
“I’m not gonna fuck you, babe, not yet.” His hands were fisted at his sides, clenched tight. “Give me a minute. Shit.”
The rejection would have stung if he wasn’t rock hard, his big cock straining against the front of his jeans. He was trying to be noble for some reason. Well, fuck noble. I wanted him to make love to me. I dropped my hand between my thighs and spread myself open then pushed a finger inside.
Hunter cursed repeatedly.
I let my eyes drift shut and started to work myself. Having his eyes on me while I did it definitely helped. It wasn’t as good as having him inside me, but it was better than nothing.
A cry slid past my lips as I pushed deep and added a second finger . . .
My hand was shoved away suddenly, and a second later, wet heat covered me. My eyes shot open, and I moaned again. Hunter was kneeling between my thighs, mouth pressed against my aching flesh. Without stopping, he lifted my legs over his shoulders, hands going to my ass, and held me steady while he sucked and licked me. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Watching him go down on me was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen.
He liked it, liked the way I tasted, enjoyed it almost as much as I did. It was there on his face, in the noises he made. Hunter had always like using his mouth on me.
His tongue slid inside and I cried out, my fingers going to his hair, fisting, holding him there while he worked me into a frenzy. Then he removed his tongue and replaced it with his fingers, shoving two inside me and started to fuck me like that. He didn’t take his eyes off me, didn’t say a thing while I gasped and begged him to go faster. They stayed on me when he swiped his thumb over my clit and pressed down on it, making me scream his name, the echo of it in the small room ringing in my ears.
While I came down, he kissed my inner thigh, my belly, tenderly. I released my death grip in his hair and ran my fingers over it.
He lifted his gaze to mine, still not saying a damn thing. He looked wild, on edge. Though it should be impossible, seeing him like that turned me on all over again.
“I . . . ah . . .” I didn’t know what to say. I’d never behaved like that before, had never been that desperate for another person in my life.
He stood. “So perfect. Nothings as sweet as you on my tongue. Watching you lose control, take what you want.”
I glanced down at the bulge behind his zipper and reached for him. He hissed when I cupped him through the damp denim.
“I want to take things slow with you, Lulu, but after that, I’m fucking dying here, babe. Blue balls really is a thing. I think I’m gonna get a clot or something. No shit.”
I chuckled. I couldn’t help it. It was the first joke he’d cracked since I’d seen him again. “Let me take care of it.” Popping the button, I slid down the zipper. He sprang free, long and thick and beautiful.
I squeezed him, sliding my hand from root to tip and he growled, eyes dark and hot and intense. God, so intense. I kissed his throat, his chest, about to carry on down, to take him into my mouth, but Hunter fisted my hair gently and guided me back, shaking his head.
“This time I want that mouth under mine when I come. You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed about that mouth. How many times I’ve woken up positive you were kissing me, only to wake up alone, hard . . . fucking desperate for you.”
He tugged me closer and then his lips were on mine, mouth opening and tongue gliding in, hot and deep and needy. We devoured each other while I stroked his beautiful cock. Both moaning as I swallowed every groan and growl he fed me.
He held me tighter, his hips moving, thrusting into my hand. Then he gripped my hair tighter. I felt his body stiffen a second before he came, splashing hot come on my stomach. The sexy, rough sounds he made vibrating right through me.
Finally, he broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against mine, breathing rough. His eyes dropped to my belly. “I like that,” he said, reaching down, sliding his strong, sure fingertips over my skin, through his come, the growl in his voice making me shiver.
The act was wholly possessive; it was also sexy as hell. I got the feeling he’d been just as shaken as me tonight, when everything went pear-shaped. He hated that I’d been put at risk, but knew as well as I did that I might be the only way to find Pierce now he’d gone into hiding.
He kissed me again, and I kissed him back.
But here in this bathroom, in this moment, I wasn’t in the real world. The real world was just outside the door, and it was ugly and frightening. A place where men carried guns and innocent children got hurt by the people they should be able to trust the most. I clung to Hunter tighter.
I planned to avoid the real world, just for a little bit longer.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Lulu
My mother ran her frail hand over Josh’s hair, unable to contain her joy at having another visit with her grandson. I’d brought him to meet her two days ago. At first, she’d been shocked, but I couldn’t think of a reason to keep him away, not now. Pierce already knew about him and so did Hunter. There was no point denying them the chance to spend time with each other.
When she asked who his father was, Hunter, who had been standing silently in the corner of the room watching us, the way he always watched us, intense and alert, had piped up in that deep, rough voice, “Josh is mine.” That’s all he said, all he had to say.
Mom accepted it.
We visited the day before as well. We still didn’t have any leads on Pierce, but Hunter was sure he was still in the city. I’d been racking my brain for where he could be. Pierce had taken me to a lot of places, but over the years they’d become one big blur. A nightmare I’d worked hard to forget. Several stuck out, though, but some I’d have to see to recognize.
It was frustrating. I wanted to help. I wanted Pierce locked up. I wanted Josh safe.
But this afternoon, I didn’t want to think about any of that, because for the first time since I’d seen her, my mother had color in her cheeks. Her eyes, that had been a dull gray instead of her usual bright blue, were sparkling like sapphires. And even though I knew the prognosis, I couldn’t stop the hope stirring inside me. Hope was stupid and a waste of energy. Miracles didn’t happen, despite what people said. But if the light shining from her today meant that I got a few more with her, I’d take them, and I’d treasure every second.
We’d been at the hospital for several hours. Though she looked bright and happy, I could see the fatigue creeping in. Josh had been chatting animatedly most of the time we’d been here, but I could see my son was getting tired as well. He’d been rubbing his eyes for the last hour. I was reluctant to leave. But he’d had enough and was ready for dinner and bed. And if I didn’t get him home soon, a meltdown of epic proportions wouldn’t be far away.
I stood, leaned in, and kissed my mother’s soft cheek. She turned to me. “Are you going?
“Yeah, Mom. We better let you get some rest.”
Her hand came to my wrist, and she held on, making my heart squeeze painfully. “Are you coming back tomorrow?”
“Bright and early.” I kissed her again then lifted Josh into my arms.
“I’d love that.”
I helped her settle back, making sure her pillows were where she wanted them, lifted her water to her mouth so she could take a sip through the straw, then tucked the blankets around her. Her eyes grew heavy instantly. “Sleep well, Mom.”
She smiled again and we left, closing the door behind us.
Hunter wrapped his fingers around the back of my neck and pulled me into his side as we walked down the hall. He didn’t say anything, didn’t have to. He was there for me, for Josh, and he managed to show us every day that we meant something to him. He was making it extremely hard to think about leaving. I was st
arting to rely on him, not only for protection, but support, comfort.
I hitched Josh higher on my hip. He was getting heavy and restless, and started wriggling, wanting to get down. Hunter reached for him without missing a beat. My son went to him without complaint, resting his head on that beautifully inked, broad shoulder.
Hunter draped his arm around mine and pulled me back into his side. I wrapped my arm around his waist, gripping his T-shirt.
Like we were a real couple again, like we were a family.
Our hips brushed as we walked, and I shivered. I couldn’t help it. I was starved for him, for every scrap of affection, every touch. It didn’t matter how much he gave me. I couldn’t get enough of him. When he touched me, it felt like I came out of myself, and I could think of nothing but him. I needed that, so much.
We hadn’t had sex, not since the time in the bathroom at the agency. I knew he was trying to ease me back into this relationship, was worried about my state of mind after opening up about the abuse and rape, after what Pierce had tried to do again. But I didn’t want that, I didn’t want time to process, or come to terms, or find some other way to move forward. I wanted to keep it locked away, deep, deep down inside, and forget all about it. I didn’t want to unpack that crap and throw it all over the place. I didn’t want to deal with the mess that was my life.
Why would I want to do that? I couldn’t see the point.
Besides, our time together had an end date. I didn’t want to waste what little we did have left. I wanted to make the most of every damn minute.
He kept his arm around me the whole way, only letting me go when we got to his car so he could unlock it.
I reached for Josh to put him in his booster seat, but Hunter ignored my outstretched arms, opened the backseat, and put him in. I headed to the passenger side and opened up. I was about to get in when my phone rang.
I checked the screen. Ruby.
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