His face softened. “I get you’re scared, I get that, but running away . . .” He stared me down. “Don’t . . . don’t fucking do that, baby. We can work through this.”
I hugged myself tighter. “I have to think about my son . . .”
“Our son.” Fire snapped through his eyes. “You think I’d let anything happen to him, to you?”
“I-it’s not that simple.”
His hands went to his hips and he shook his head. “You’re not going to listen to me right now, are you? You’ve closed yourself back off, and I’m banging my head against a brick wall trying to get through to you.”
“You don’t understand . . .”
“I don’t understand?” His voice was deep, rougher than usual. “I was locked up, fucking powerless. Separated from my woman, my kid, and you’re telling me I don’t understand? I know what it’s like to feel helpless, to have no control over your own damn life. I know you’ve had some fucked-up shit thrown at you, baby, I do. You’ve been through things no woman should ever have to go through, but do not tell me I don’t understand.”
He moved toward me. “Life is short. It can be taken away when we least expect it, which is why you live it to the fullest. You work hard, play hard, and you fucking love harder. You do not run from it. If something’s worth fighting for, no obstacle will stop you from finding a way to make it work.”
He closed the space between us and curled his fingers around the side of my neck. I squeezed my eyes closed.
“Fucking look at me.”
I had no choice, but I didn’t want to look at him, positive as soon as he stared into my eyes, he’d see how my heart was breaking. I forced them open. His had gone soft again. He was killing me.
He slid his thumb across my jaw. “Tell me you’re staying.”
I shook my head, dislodging his hand, even as a sob clogged in my throat. “I can’t. I need time to think.”
He stared down at me for what felt like forever, eyes searching mine. Finally, he brushed my hair back gently, tucking it behind my ear. “You stay here. I’ll go. I’ll crash with Van, give you some space.”
I could see just saying that killed him. I couldn’t be here, though. Not now. “No.” I shook my head. “I need to . . .”
“I told you once before, if you left me again, I’d find you and bring you back, always.” His eyes bore into mine. “I meant it.”
“Hunter . . .”
He dragged me against him before I could form a reply, shoved his fingers in my hair, and brought his lips down on mine . . . hard. His mouth moved over mine possessively, the kiss deep, unyielding, destroying me all over again. I gripped his shoulders, whimpering into his mouth, hanging on until he finally pulled away with a rough curse.
He was breathing heavily, eyes burning into me, waiting, hoping that I’d say I’d changed my mind, that I’d stay.
I looked away, pain lancing me in two. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I can’t . . .”
His head jerked to the side. “No . . . you can, but you’re choosing not to.” Then he turned, and strode away.
I stared after him, biting my lip, desperately trying to control the emotion building inside me in ever-increasing waves, battering me one after the other. Finally, I turned away from the door. Van was standing across the room, arms crossed, eyes soft. “You sure about this?”
“No,” I admitted.
He released a rough breath. “Stay. Work it out.”
“I can’t.”
He watched me for several long seconds. He shoved a hand through his dark hair. “He needs you, Lulu. Shit, you’re all he’s ever wanted.”
I bit my lip harder, until I tasted blood. Why didn’t anyone understand? I felt like I was losing my damn mind, the walls were closing in. I needed to get the hell out of here. “I need to go and pack.”
That stare went from intense to disappointed. It was hard, but I ignored that, too.
“You’re making a mistake,” he said when I walked past.
I didn’t answer, because my heart was screaming he was right.
My head, however, knew this had always been inevitable.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Lulu
I put the straw to my lips and sucked down the last of my Appletini. It was sweet and sour and packed one hell of a punch. Drinking, going out, was the last thing I’d felt like doing, but Ruby wouldn’t take no for an answer. The girl could throw a bigger tantrum than Josh when she put her mind to it. Besides, I was going stir-crazy. I needed to get out of my own head for a while. So, in the end I’d given in.
Hunter had given me the space I’d asked for. He still texted and called me every day, but our conversations were strained.
I hadn’t seen him or touched him in four long, lonely, miserable days.
Sara had been more than happy to have us stay with her, but she was worried. I should’ve probably told her what was going on, but I couldn’t bring myself to rehash the whole mess. I missed Hunter, terribly. I was also beginning to think that maybe I’d made a huge mistake, walking out like I did. That maybe we could have worked something out? But what? I couldn’t see a solution to our problem. Despite everything, I didn’t want Hunter to give up his business for me. He’d worked so hard to get to this point in his life. But I couldn’t just turn my feelings off. I tried that before, and look how that turned out.
Was I being unreasonable?
“Yes, you are,” Ruby said from beside me, plucking a cherry from her drink and sucking it.
I swiveled in my chair toward her. Her eyebrows went up and I realized I’d been blabbing my thoughts out loud. Thank God the table beside us empty. I must look like a crazy person.
I poked her in the shoulder. “How can you say that?” There was a slight slur to my voice. Hmm, maybe I’d had one too many delicious fruity cocktails. Nah.
I deserved to have some fun, to let loose a little. To have one night where I could ignore the pain in my chest and the constant queasy feeling in my stomach. Hell, I hadn’t gotten this drunk since . . . well, I couldn’t remember how long, but I knew it was a long damn time.
Ruby was eyeballing me, and those eyeballs were a little on the bloodshot side. Maybe she’d had a few too many cocktails as well? Nah. This was girl’s night. Being irresponsible with alcohol was expected, right?
“Hunter’s a good guy, Lu. And he looooves you. I mean, if I had a guy love me like that?” She shook her head, a far-off look drifting across her unfocused gaze before her striking, dark blue eyes swung back to me. “I’d hang on with both hands and never let go. I know you’re scared and everything, but Hunter’s one hard, scary motherfucker. He’d never let anything happen to you or Josh.”
“You sound just like Hunter.”
She grinned. “Because I know it’s true.”
I wanted the conversation off me. I didn’t want to talk about this tonight. I’d been thinking about nothing else for the last four days. So I changed the subject. “What about you, Miss Ruby Styles? Do you live your life to the fullest?”
“Well, yeah, I try.”
“Hmm.”
She poked me in the shoulder. “Hmm, what?”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “What’s going on between you and Neco?”
She squirmed in her seat, a frown stealing her features. “Nothing.”
“Don’t give me that. I see the way you look at him. The way he looks at you.”
She glanced away and took a sip of her drink. “He looks at me the same way he treats me, like a little sister.”
I snorted. “Well, if I had a brother who looked at me the way Neco looks at you, I’d . . . well, I’d be creeped right the hell out.”
Her eyes got big. “You think Neco’s creepy?”
After my fifth drink I was obviously having trouble expressing my thoughts in a clear and concise manor. So I tried again. “Umm, no . . . that’s not what I meant. What I was trying to say is, he looks at you like he wants to tear your clothes off your body and
have his wicked way with you, not . . . um . . . whatever the hell big brothers do . . . are like . . . with their sisters. If you know what I mean.”
She jerked back in her seat. “He does not!”
“Does too.”
“Does not!” she squawked.
“Does too.”
She opened her mouth to fire back another “does not” when our waiter dropped our bill on the table, giving us a look that, if I wasn’t half drunk, might have made me quiver in my shoes, or at least made me feel bad about the scene we were obviously making.
Ruby covered her mouth with her hand and the laugh she was trying to suppress came out like an explosive raspberry against her fingers. I quickly grabbed my purse and threw some cash on the table. I was using the last of my savings, but I’d decided a night out was worth it.
I glanced up at our sour-faced waiter. “We’ll just be on our way.”
Ruby shot up in her seat, grabbed my hand, and we wobbled out of the place on our stilettos. We’d just gotten out the door when Ruby swung around to me. “Let’s go to a club. I feel like dancing.”
I kind of felt like dancing, too. I hadn’t been out dancing in . . . well, as long as it had been since I’d gotten drunk. “Okay, let’s go dancing.”
Ruby had just lifted her hand to hail a cab when Neco materialized out of the shadows like some kind of man-chameleon. . . . A chameleon-man? A chameleman? Whatever. Anyway, one minute he wasn’t there, then the next he was, and announced, “I’ll drive you home.”
Neco was wearing jeans, boots, and a black long-sleeved tee that fit like a glove. He was also wearing a scowl, and it was aimed at my friend. He looked super pissed. Maybe I’d been wrong about the lust fest between them? It wasn’t like I was some expert on love. Look how I’d screwed up my own life.
I glanced behind him. A small—okay, a large part of me was hoping Hunter was with him. But he appeared to be alone.
“We’re not going home. We’re going to a club. We’re in the mood to dance.”
His gaze dropped, taking Ruby in from head to toe. The scowl got deeper. “I’ll drop you off at the club.”
Ruby and I tried to protest. The last thing either of us wanted was a damn bodyguard, especially not Hunter’s best friend. But Neco was stubborn and refused to change his mind. We didn’t stand a chance.
He dropped us at the club, and I expected him to leave or wait outside like he had at the restaurant, but he followed us in. Ruby did not look happy, not at all. Having an extremely tall, extremely pissed off—I still hadn’t worked out what he was pissed off about—guy following you around was kind of a buzz kill.
As soon as we got drinks, Ruby grabbed my hand and dragged me to the dance floor. Neco thankfully didn’t tag along—though I would have handed over the last of my savings to see him stand like a damn statue in the middle of the dance floor, scowling, while we danced around like lunatics. Instead, he took up position by the wall and watched us, or mainly Ruby.
It wasn’t long before we forgot he was there. The music was good, and there was a decent crowd, but not so busy you were bumping into everyone. We danced and laughed, sang our heads off, badly, and laughed some more. It was nice. To feel my age, to have fun with a friend. To not spend the whole time looking over my shoulder.
I hadn’t noticed we had company, not until someone bumped into me. A couple of guys had moved in and were kind of dancing with us. They grinned and we grinned back. They seemed harmless enough. They were hot, not Hunter hot, but good looking in a “boy next door” kind of way.
That’s when I felt it, a tingle down my spine, across my shoulders.
I glanced over at the wall Neco had been propping up. The big man was still there, but his expression wasn’t pissed anymore, it was murderous. He also wasn’t alone—Hunter was standing beside him. He looked like he was seconds away from pulling out his gun and blowing someone’s head clean off.
Our eyes collided and he pushed away from the wall, started striding purposefully toward me. I took an involuntary step back and crashed into one of the guys. His hands came up and settled on my hips to steady me, and then he leaned in. “You okay, babe?”
Hunter’s eyes narrowed to slits. Shit.
I tried to wriggle free, but the guy swung an arm around my neck and pulled me into his side. “You wanna get outta here?”
What? After barely one dance? The guy had a seriously overinflated opinion of himself.
Then Hunter was there. I took another step back when I got a better look at his face, which brought me closer to Mr. Boy-Next-Door. He took it as an affirmative answer to his question, and he pulled me in closer.
I tried, unsuccessfully, to wriggle free, but I wasn’t going anywhere with the guy’s arm wrapped around my neck like an iron band. How the hell did I get myself into this situation? Seriously.
Hunter stood in front of me, but his eyes were trained over my shoulder. “You might want to get your fucking hands off my woman.”
I was ashamed to admit, that the way he said that, kind of gave me a rush of excitement. A big one. I blamed it on the alcohol. I was still pretty tipsy, and right then I couldn’t think of a good enough reason not to throw myself at him and wrap my body around him like a python about to devour her favorite meal.
“Well, your woman just agreed to go home with me, so take a hike.”
All the happy tingles fled screaming in terror. I spun to the idiot, still holding onto me. Not good. I looked back to Hunter and shook my head. “No. That’s not . . . I didn’t . . . I. . . .”
Hunter’s nostrils flared like an angry rodeo bull, gaze cold and scary as hell. “I said, take your fucking hands off her. Now.”
This time the charmer at my back got the message. His arm dropped and he stepped away, lifting his hands in surrender. “Jesus. No offense, yeah?”
Hunter didn’t spare the guy another glance. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me across the club. I spun to see Ruby racing after us, a worried look on her face.
He dragged me over to where Neco still stood and grabbed my shoulders. “You wanna tell me what the fuck that was?”
“We were dancing. It was no big deal,” I said lamely.
“What did you just say?” he gritted out.
“We were dancing.”
He let me go and his hands went to his hips. He tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling of the club like he was looking for divine guidance. Then his chin dropped and he aimed his furious stare on me, hands going back to my shoulders. “You didn’t think I’d have a problem with that?”
Okay, now I was getting pissed off. “I would never cheat on you!” I jerked back, trying to break his hold on me, but he wouldn’t let go. “If you think that, you don’t know me at all.”
“Are you shitting me?”
“No, I am not shitting you.” I was starting to lose track of the conversation.
He clenched his jaw. “I fucking know you wouldn’t cheat on me, Lulu. Doesn’t mean I want some other guy putting his filthy hands on you.”
“However you spin it, it sounds like you don’t trust me.”
“I trust you. I don’t trust them.” He jerked his chin to the dance floor. “And you’re sure as hell not thinking straight right now.”
Whoa, whoa. What?
“I don’t like what you’re implying,” I said, not loud, but his eyes were on my mouth and I knew he read my lips.
“I’m not implying any-damn-thing.”
I planted my hands on my hips. This argument had nothing to do with what just happened and we both knew it. “You think I’m being stupid. That I’m some overly emotional female. That I left you without thinking it through, admit it?”
He jerked back. “Left me?”
Shit. “I didn’t mean . . . I . . .”
The muscle in his jaw jumped. “Right now isn’t the time for this discussion.”
“Agreed. Which is why you two should leave,” I said motioning to Neco.
Ruby tried to move clo
ser, but Neco snaked a hand around her waist stopping her. “Stay out of it,” he growled.
The expression on Hunter’s face went from wanting to shake me to wanting to strangle me with his bare hands. “I’m not going anywhere. No fucking way am I leaving you alone here like this. Woman, you’re drunk off your ass.”
I was too stubborn and too angry to back down. The cocktails weren’t helping either. So I shrugged. “Fine. I’ll leave.”
“Like hell,” he gritted out.
God, I hated fighting with Hunter. I hated being separated from him. Seeing him here tonight had just made it worse.
My eyes and nose started stinging. Shit. I was going to start crying, and not just a few tears. I was on the verge of extreme ugly crying and there was no way to stop it. I needed to get away, clear my fuzzy head. With that the only thought in my mind, I spun on my heels, shoved through the crowd, and ran in the opposite direction. People closed around me and I pushed through, hitting the hall to the bathrooms and sprinting to the door at the end with “Exit” above it.
That’s when it happened. One minute I was running, hand lifted to shove through the door, the next . . .
Nothing.
* * *
I woke up in the dark.
The first thing I became aware of was the fact that I was not alone. The second was that I couldn’t move. At all. My body felt weighted down by something—by someone.
I froze, every muscle locking up tight while my mind scrambled for answers. Images, conversations, flashed through my mind. The last thing I remembered was running though the club after my confrontation with Hunter. Then nothing.
Whatever had been used to knock me out made my limbs weak, like soggy noodles. Had someone stunned me? Fear fired through me, sending spikes of pain along every nerve ending.
Wherever I was, it did not smell great. The mattress underneath me felt damp and cold, the musty scent of mold so strong I could taste it. Whoever was on top of me didn’t smell great either. I sucked a panicked breath in through my nose, biting my lips together to stop from screaming. I wanted to shove him off and run, but his weight was almost fully on top of me, unmoving, and unfortunately for me, still breathing. His mouth was close to my cheek, and every exhale sent a wave of rancid, stale breath across my face.
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