by Ava Sinclair
“Can I tell you indirectly?” she asked.
“Ellie, you can tell me in whatever way makes you feel the most comfortable.”
Ellie traced one of the roses in the print of the chintz with her finger as she pondered how to begin.
“Let’s just say you wanted to believe something. And someone made it real easy for you to believe what you wanted to believe—made it feel possible and perfect and safe. Would it be worth giving yourself up for it?”
Dr. Gruber tapped a pen on his knee and pursed his lips. “The way you phrase the question makes me wonder if they think maybe there are doubts about how possible, perfect, and safe it is.”
“Yeah…” she said.
“Ellie, everything said in this office is confidential. Perhaps it may help if we didn’t speak in hypotheticals.”
She looked at him, the kindly doctor who’d shepherded her through the darkest time in her life. Ellie never wanted to go back to that place, and a betrayal by the man who she was falling in love with—a man who showed promise as lover and father figure and friend—could do just that. If ever there were the need for an objective perspective, it was now.
“There’s a man in my life,” she said.
“Oh?”
She offered a pained smile. “He’s older. A college professor. At Hilliard. I met him when I inquired about the study—the one in the letter your office sent.”
Dr. Gruber’s face had become unreadable. “You became involved with the professor who conducted the study?”
“No!” Ellie knew how it must sound and didn’t want to indict William in what looked like unethical behavior. “The study never happened,” she quickly explained. “There wasn’t enough interest, and besides, when I found out it was about women who’ve grown up without fathers I didn’t want to take part anyway.”
Ellie told Dr. Gruber how William had helped her get home in the snowstorm, how she’d gotten the job at the coffee shop, admitting to him that it had been in part in hopes of seeing the handsome professor again. But, she continued, she never expected their first encounter at the coffee shop to lead to a live-in research position in the home of a man now acting as her surrogate father.
She grew quiet, noting nervously that Dr. Gruber had, too. When he resumed speaking, Ellie noted that his tone remained neutral.
“So this man is giving you what you missed, and—it seems—more. But you opened your statements expressing doubts. Can you share those?”
Ellie started to tell Dr. Gruber about the woman in his waiting room, but realized if this woman was Dr. Gruber’s friend, the conversation may become awkward, so she decided to be vague about the details.
“I think he may be involved with someone else,” she said.
“You have evidence of this?”
“No. Just…” Tears sprang to her eyes. “What if I’ve just believed he’s perfect because I wanted to? It’s all so new and exciting. But maybe this is just a novelty to him, too. Maybe I’m just a…” Ellie dropped her eyes, “…a diversion… a plaything.” She managed a sardonic laugh. “Oddly enough, I didn’t even come here to talk about this. I came here to work through my feelings about a relationship that might not be understood or accepted by other people. Heck, I don’t even know if I accept it…”
“You mean the paternalistic nature?” Dr. Gruber said, then paused. “How deep does it go, Ellie?”
Her fingers twisted in the fabric of her skirt. “He has rules,” she said. “He’s assumed the role of my father. He has rules. He spanks me for breaking them.” She looked up, expecting to see revulsion or condemnation, but there was none.
“Is this an affront to you?” he asked.
“No,” she said hastily. “I mean, it hurts. It’s a spanking. But it makes me feel loved and protected and… even aroused.”
“That’s not unusual,” Dr. Gruber said. “And your relationship dynamic, while not common, is not unheard of. And I can understand the attraction. You had a father who promised to educate you and then abandoned that promise. A father figure who is also a professor would seem the ideal. However, such relationships are built on trust and my concern is that in a situation where you have a submissive partner with a deep need to give herself over to the trust and guidance of a dominant partner, that dominant partner must deserve it.” He sighed. “Ellie, my concern is that you have doubts about whether this man is trustworthy. If you go any deeper and realize he is not, then the trauma of betrayal could mark a setback for you. With a history of attempted suicide, such a setback can be far more perilous than for most women. You’re a very special young woman who’s come a long way since her mother found her near death in that bathtub. You need to stay strong, and realistic.”
Ellie nodded, having confirmation of her fears relayed back to her.
“So I should leave him?”
“No. I didn’t say that. But you do need to talk to him, Ellie. Living as this man’s child does not excuse you from being an adult when you need to be. And when it comes to your own self-interest, you must step outside the cocoon this man has built for you and make sure he is worthy of the trust you are giving him.”
Step outside the cocoon. The words repeated themselves in Ellie’s head as the train sped back toward the beautiful Victorian house that was now feeling like home. How quickly she’d grown to love it, to love the pink bedroom behind the door she’d opened from the key she’d selected. Could this man be so cruel as to toy with her, knowing what she’d been through? It seemed so out of character, but she knew to step outside the cocoon meant acknowledging that she knew little to nothing of William Ashworth’s past.
Ellie thought about the elegant woman in Dr. Gruber’s office. Her words had been too accurate to be coincidental; she’d described William to a tee, and without knowing who Ellie was had unwittingly given her insight into what may be the secret life of the man she had been willing to embrace with complete childlike trust. But Dr. Gruber was right; this was not the time.
When William came home from work, Ellie decided, he’d find an adult woman in place of the child-figure he’d left. And she’d be waiting, with questions.
Chapter Eleven
Dr. William Ashworth rarely drank. When he did, it was usually on the weekends. But as he sat at his desk in the quiet of his office, he decided if he opened the drawer to magically find a bottle of Scotch, he’d probably drink the whole thing.
As soon as he’d arrived in Dean Carver’s office, he’d known something was wrong. Carver, a ponderous and thoughtful man, was usually jovial. But he was somber as William took a seat across from him.
“We have a political problem, William.”
William guessed what that problem was even before the dean started his explanation.
“Derrick Grayson?”
“Derrick Grayson.” Dean Carver nodded. “His father isn’t taking his suspension well. He’s requested a legal review of the whole incident. Word is that his lawyer wants to talk to the girl from the coffee shop. Do you know this girl or where she is?”
William’s mouth went dry. “What would it matter?” he asked, avoiding the question. “And why would they want to talk to her?”
“Because word is that Grayson’s not the only one involved in this now. We suspect he’s been talking to Kathleen Kidd. For whatever reason, they’re trying to find some kind of angle or ulterior motive on your part that was more personal than chivalrous.” He paused. “Is there anything to it?”
William stood, his resolve starting to crack. “Dean Carver,” he said. “You hired me to teach at Hilliard. I’ve never conducted myself in any manner other than a professional one. As for the girl, I saw what I saw, and so did a witness. I won’t even dignify suggestions that there was anything improper in my defense of that young woman, or assist in any sort of witch hunt being launched for political reasons.”
He stood, picking up his satchel. “Now, if you excuse me, I have a class to teach.”
Hours later, the exchange still had W
illiam shaken but also relieved that although Ellie was still picking up her mail at her mom’s house, she’d not told her exactly where in town she’d moved, so Mildred Brewer couldn’t reveal where her daughter had gone. He knew he wasn’t doing anything wrong having Ellie at his house, but he also realized that the Graysons’ joining forces with the college founder’s granddaughter could create problems for both him and Ellie should they find out she was now cohabitating with him. He knew they would try to twist it into something questionable.
He glanced at the clock. It was nearly time for him to leave, and it occurred to him that Ellie had not done as he’d directed and called to let him know she’d arrived home safely. He picked up the phone, frowning as he dialed the number to his house. The phone rang several times, and he was starting to worry that she wasn’t there when she finally answered in a flat voice.
“Ellie,” he said. “You’re home.”
“Yes.”
“I was worried. You were supposed to call.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve had a lot on my mind today,” she replied.
“Am I to take it that therapy did not go well?” He tried to keep the worry from his voice.
“No, Dr. Ashworth,” she said. “Therapy was actually very enlightening.”
Something in her tone bothered William, but he didn’t want to press the matter now, not over the phone.
He all but rushed to the train, his anxiety mounting. His desire to protect Ellie, to protect what they had, was strong. William tapped his foot the entire ride home, fretting about what Dr. Gruber may have said at the appointment. Could he have been wrong? Was it possible that Ellie’s therapist had told her that their relationship was unhealthy or degrading?
At home, he went directly to his office, expecting to find her working on documents as she often did after dinner. He called to her, and a few moments later she appeared in the doorway. William stared, feeling a surge of disappointment. She’d changed from the pretty frock she’d been wearing when he left into her old blue jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. The soft expression on her face had been replaced by wariness.
“Ellie,” he said, relieved but also concerned by the change. “Tired of your lovely dress already?” He tried to keep his tone jocular, but she didn’t smile.
“I’m not sure I should wear it,” she said.
He stood staring at her for a moment. “Why not?”
“I went to therapy today,” she said.
“Good. I wanted you to.”
“I met a woman there. She was tall with dark hair.” She paused. “Why didn’t you tell me you were involved with someone, a beautiful doctor?”
“Kathleen,” he said with a sigh.
“So it’s true?”
“No,” William said. “I was involved with her, but ended it recently.”
Ellie, still standing in the doorway, crossed her arms. “How recently?”
“Very,” he said. When Ellie looked concerned, he decided to press the issue. “What did she tell you, Ellie?”
“No.” Ellie’s expression was determined. “You tell me about her first.”
For a moment, William considered telling Ellie she’d forgotten her place, that she was his ward and had no right to make such demands. But then he realized she’d removed the frock as a message: at this moment, she was stepping out of her role as his ward and back into an adult role. And he realized she had every right, given whatever his malicious former lover had said to make her worry.
“Come sit down,” he said, pulling up a chair. When she didn’t move, he gestured to the chair. “Please, Ellie.”
Hesitantly, she walked over. William waited for her to sit before settling himself in the chair across from her.
“The woman you saw today is Kathleen Kidd. Yes, we were involved for nearly two years, but it was not a happy relationship, at least not for me. It moved too quickly at the start, largely because Kathleen led me to believe she was a submissive when that’s the last thing she is. I’m not blaming her; I should have recognized it. But when you are… geared differently, it’s easy to think you’ll never find someone who will match your needs.”
“So if she lied, why did you stay with her for so long?”
“That’s a fair question, Ellie.” He shook his head. “It may disappoint you to learn that your guardian was not as strong as he should have been when it came to leaving. But it wasn’t because I wanted to stay. Kathleen is not only the opposite of a submissive, but a very domineering person. She’s also very well connected at the school where I teach, and used a combination of manipulation and subtle threats to thwart my attempts to break up.” William ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t begin to tell you how frustrating it was, feeling so trapped.”
“I think I know,” she said flatly.
William instantly regretted his comment. “I’m sorry, Ellie. Of course you do.”
“She said whenever you tried to leave her, you took up with a young, vulnerable girl, that you ‘adopted’ them. Is that true?”
William felt a chill as the day’s events began to fall into place—the Graysons’ teaming up with Kathleen, his summons to Dean Carver’s office, what was anything but a chance meeting with his ex and Ellie at the therapist’s office. Someone was watching them. Someone knew Ellie was with him. And now they were laying a carefully crafted trap.
“It’s not true,” William said, and he recounted his day to Ellie then, reluctantly divulging his trip to Dean Carver’s office. “It’s clear that both the Graysons and Kathleen have combined forces for very different reasons, but with the same goal: my professional destruction.”
As soon as he was finished, Ellie stood. “Then there’s only one thing to do; I have to leave.”
“Leave?” He stood with her. “Are you mad? Why would you say such a thing?”
“Because,” she said, tears swimming in her eyes. “If I stay I’ll just complicate your life.”
“And you expect me to agree to let you go for that reason, Ellie? Do you really think so little of me to believe I’d abandon you when things got personally difficult with our relationship? Do you really believe that I’m anything like your father?”
Her tears spilled over, coursing across the cute freckles dotting her cheeks. He could see gratitude in her sad eyes.
“You would keep me here, even if it means you could lose your job?”
He stepped forward, taking her hand in his. “Ellie,” he said. “Not only are you the first and only woman in my life since the mistake I made with Kathleen, I plan for you to be the last and only woman in my life.” He reached out, cradling the side of her face in his large hand. “Oh, my sweet girl. Are you so blind that you don’t realize that I’ve already falling hopelessly and deeply in love with you?”
“You don’t understand,” she said. “I couldn’t bear it if you lost your job because of me.”
He smiled at her. “There are many ways to make a living, my dear. But there is only one little girl named Ellie.”
William kissed her then, tasting lips left salty by her tears. When he pressed, she opened her sweet mouth to him. He tasted the hint of spearmint gum, and as she melded her body against him, his cock grew hard with need for her. He’d planned to wait, to take it slow. But he knew that now was the time to claim his submissive little mate, and in such a way to dispel any doubts she may have about his commitment. Breaking their kiss, he leaned and lifted her easily into his arms. Ellie lay her head on his broad shoulders as he walked from his office and mounted the stairs, passing her room when they reached the hallway to go to one he’d not opened since restoring it. He’d left it unlocked, anticipating such a moment when he would take Ellie here, to the room Dr. Wentworth had shared with his Emily.
“It’s their private suite,” she said as he laid her on the bed.
“Yes,” William said. “This is where he took his little Emily when he wasn’t acting as her papa. This is where she was fully his adult ma
te, just as you will now be mine.”
Ellie looked at him in wonder. “You mean…”
He smiled down at her. “Dr. Wentworth and Emily had the same kind of relationship that we do. I found letters in the attic during the renovation. I’ve been waiting to tell you. I wanted the time to be right.” He trailed a finger down her jawline, past her neck, to the swell of her tiny breast. She trembled. “You are meant to be here, with me, in this house. Our love was meant to repeat history.”
His mouth met hers again, and this time Ellie’s arms flew around his neck as he gently straddled her, reaching for the bottom of her shirt and then watching as she raised her arms to allow him to pull it over her head. She wore a front-clasping bra; as he undid it, she flushed and moved to pull her forearms over her tiny breasts. But William caught her wrists, kissing the scars on each of them before pulling her arms apart and dipping his head to take the small morsel of her left breast into his mouth and suckle gently before worrying the tiny, hard nipple with his teeth.
“Ah!” The sound she made was a mixture of surprise and wonder at the sensation of the first skillful handling of her body. Her slim fingers wound in his thick hair as she arched her back.
William could feel the need coming off of her in waves, and slid his hands down her narrow waist until he found the waistband of her jeans. He tried to contain his eagerness as he unfastened the brass button and pulled down the zipper. Ellie had already kicked off her shoes, and he raised himself up to pull the jeans down roughly, leaving her clad only in a pair of skimpy white cotton panties and pink and white striped knee-high socks.
Her legs were slightly parted, and he could see her arousal had soaked through her panties. William slid down, parting her resisting legs and lowering his face to her pussy, breathing in her sweet musk through the flimsy panel of the undergarment. She moaned as he licked her through the fabric, which became wetter with his teasing. Her hands were clawing the bedcovers, and through her panties he could already feel the hard little nub of her clit.