by Sam Destiny
“Doubt it. You look too weak to even be able to pick me up, let alone hold me against the wall to eat me out.”
Tank’s jaw dropped. Evy hadn’t even blushed, while the second guy gaped at her before stuttering, “Fine then, be unhappy with him!”
And with that he was gone, leaving the two alone again.
“Evangeline Jackson?” Tank asked, wanting to make sure she hadn’t suddenly been exchanged for someone else, someone he’d never met before.
She giggled, pressing the back of her hand against her lips until the laughter bubbled out anyway, her eyes shining. “That was fun. Although I admit, it might be the alcohol talking.”
He glanced at her glass, and after the tequila she’d already emptied her vodka mix, too. “Well, you talking like that is hot.”
Her face fell and he wondered if he’d said something wrong.
“Just not proper for a woman. I mean, we technically shouldn’t be talking like that, or thinking about sex and admitting to it. Or liking it, really.” She shrugged and he placed his hand on her wrist.
“You know, everyone needs someone who can handle their darker side. I can be your someone. You can handle mine after all.” He winked, hoping she’d take it as light flirting when he was serious.
He didn’t mind a woman who was vocal, who voiced what she liked, and he couldn’t help but wish he could find out what exactly was in that hidden corner of her brain.
Maybe that was what drew him in so much; the way she seemed to have a side hidden away for no one to see.
When she didn’t answer, he lowered his eyes to the table, wishing there was something he could keep his fingers occupied with.
“Honestly, Tank, sometimes I’m not sure you’re even you,” she suddenly said and he met her eyes again.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You can be so… incredibly on point without being vulgar, and it’s… I don’t know. Unexpected, I guess.”
He smiled, feeling pleased. “Well, after Tessa and Jazz, I…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.
“You figured there had to be more to life than senseless screwing?” she suggested while another glass of vodka orange juice and a shot of tequila appeared on their table. The shot was gone within seconds, the other glass she left untouched though.
“Why would any woman want it with me?”
He heard the vulnerability in his voice and it angered him. That wasn’t him at all. “But anyway, we were talking about wishes and how they were turned,” he reminded her.
She leaned back in her chair and Tank couldn’t help but imagine they were somewhere else, like a living room on a sofa, talking in private, having their own corner of the world just for a few peaceful moments.
Evy stared up at the grimy ceiling, trying to keep her attention on the weird spots she couldn’t explain instead of on the soldier in front of her, confusing her more by the second.
The alcohol had gone to her head faster than she’d anticipated, yet she shouldn’t have been surprised since she’d skipped lunch… and maybe breakfast, too. Hilary had been out and therefore no one had been around to tell her what to do.
Tank seemed to have guessed it though. Maybe he thought she hadn’t noticed how he’d not eaten a single bite, but she had, and she was grateful he’d gotten her food in the first place.
“Come on, Ev, tell me,” he nudged, gently tapping his knee against hers under the table and she focused back on him and wished she could do this confession the way Tessa had told her she and Jazz did it: together with a glass of wine, cuddled up and holding onto each other no matter what.
“My biggest wish was to move here after Tessa didn’t return. I wanted to so bad because I thought everything would be better at the other side of the world. That I could…” She gritted her teeth, biting back the words on the tip of her tongue. She’d never before said them out loud and wasn’t sure she wanted to.
Tank leaned forward and took her hands around the plate that had yet to be cleared away. “Hey, it’s me, Evangeline. You can tell me whatever you want. I don’t judge. I’m an asshole, I’ve been judged all my life. I don’t do it because I know how it feels.”
And yet, he was anything but an asshole, wasn’t he?
She felt his thumbs caressing her knuckles and the warmth spreading from there gave her more courage than any alcohol could.
“I thought I could be happy. I should be. I have Leila and I’d give my life for her, but… being a mother wasn’t what I saw myself doing with my life. I wanted to have a career, be successful, have people recognize my name. Tessa had the dream of a big family, many children. She’s fine with being spit up on and wiping away baby vomit. I’d never give up Leila, not for all the money in the world, but…”
“You want more,” he whispered.
“I’m a horrible mother, aren’t I?” she asked, new tears threatening to spill over her cheeks and Tank surprised her by coming around the table to stand next to the bar chair she was seated on, taking her face in his hands.
“You are an incredible mother. Struggling with being a mom and sucking at being one are two different things, Evangeline. You need to understand that. Your daughter is such a happy child, so bright and cheery, which means you make her happy. It’s all you need to remember. And it’s human to want more when you’re alone, maybe at work, or when she’s asleep.” He paused, resting his forehead against hers as the first tears fell again.
“Don’t cry, Ev, please. I don’t handle your tears well,” he whispered and the sincerity in his voice, the way he’d phrased what he’d said made her draw him in and kiss him. She didn’t aim for sex, didn’t even aim for him to give her pleasure. All she wanted was to feel connected, feel whole for a moment, and it wasn’t the alcohol making her.
She felt so lonely, she needed a link to someone, and Tank offered. Not so much with words, but with the way he touched her, the way he’d caressed her cheeks just now.
He kissed her back, held her tight and tangled their tongues until they both had to come up for air.
“Don’t think you get out of telling me what else is going on, because we’re not at the point of your wish turned bad yet. Come on.” He took her hand, threw a fifty on the table, and then led her out of the bar.
“Where are we going?” she asked, stumbling after him, and he slowed down, her hand still in his tight grip.
She looked down at their joined hands, feeling as if he was holding her together by that simple touch.
“Getting a six-pack at the gas station, and then finding a place where we can park the truck so you can tell me what’s going on without a table between us. You know, I need to know when to start making out with you to keep the tears at bay.”
“Sex won’t stop me from crying if I really am,” she protested and he chuckled.
“It’s always worth a try.”
She laughed, couldn’t help herself as he helped her into his truck, the alcohol making the opening to the cab so much smaller than she remembered.
The stop at the gas station didn’t take long, and only a few minutes later they parked, the headlights of Tank’s truck shining over a baseball field.
“Most romantic spot ever,” she chuckled and he came around the truck, helping her outside. He put a sweater he’d grabbed from the backseat on the hood of the car and then swept her up into his arms to place her on the hood. Only afterward he joined. He opened a beer for her and although she didn’t like beer, she didn’t mind having one with him there.
“When I was seven I wanted nothing more than to play baseball. My mother thought it was useless, that I was better off doing other things, but I still came here. Always. I watched the games from this spot because she didn’t give me the money to get into the stands.”
“Were you ever able to play?” she asked, wondering where he was going with this story.
“I was, actually, and failed horribly. I couldn’t hit the ball, no matter what I tried, and ended up with a black and bl
ue eye. I came home that day and my mother spanked me for having gone against her wishes, telling me that’s what I get from wishing.”
“That’s horrible,” Evy commented, looking at him while he started out at the field.
“Yes, and no. She told me football was the way to go because chicks dig football players. Turns out that was a sport I was good at, and it wasn’t what I’d always wanted, but it was what I was meant to do, because there I met the Army recruiter… and after that, Jazz, who turned into my brother, my family. I’m trying to say we don’t always get what we wish for, but exactly what we need. And you didn’t wish for Leila, but I think it was what you needed to reevaluate your life.”
“Why? I still want to make it big.”
He nudged her with his shoulder. “You did. You’re here.”
She exhaled slowly. “And this is where my wish turns bad. I get to see two months of how life could be, but I’ll have to go back—unless I score the Army Charity ball as event to organize.”
He did a double-take. “That was the condition for you to come here? It’s nearly impossible. I mean, the event is big and in planning and all that, and they expect you to get the organization? All by yourself? That was why you were at the base today.”
She nodded slowly. “They didn’t expect me to do it by myself. They think all I have to do is talk to Tessa and bam, I’m all in.”
“And Tessa turned you down? Is she being serious? So much for being your best friend, for always supporting you,” he fussed and Evy loved him just for being mad on her behalf. The thought was terrifying, so she focused back on the topic.
“No, it wasn’t quite like that. I didn’t exactly tell her I had to make it. I said I kinda wanted to do it, and she brought all the arguments I know in my head are right. I don’t want to ask her for this because I… I didn’t come here expecting my best friend to solve my issues for me. I came to prove after all I did do her when things with Jazz started, I’m still the best friend she needs and wants. Asking her for that…” She shook her head. “I’d feel like an utter failure in the best friend department.”
“You realize she wouldn’t see it that way, right? She loves having you back.” The way he said it, it sounded as if he knew more than she, and it seemed like Jazz had talked to him about what Tessa had said.
No wonder she didn’t know that because she was still set on avoiding her best friend until she solved the issue.
“I don’t want her to think I came for that and—”
“Hell, Ev, you can still make it up to her whenever you’re here forever and ever. Go and ask her.”
Evy hesitated for a long moment. “I either make it by myself or not at all, Tank. I cannot live on the charity of people. It’s hard enough knowing Hilary refuses to take payment for me being there.”
Tank sighed, his anger almost palpable for her. “It’s okay to accept help. You know that, right?”
Evy didn’t reply. Instead she lifted her bottle to her lips, thinking that Tank wouldn’t be able to understand… after all, no one ever did.
It was shortly after two in the night when Tank rang the doorbell to the Connors’ home. It took a while until a small light lit and Tessa appeared at the door, one of Jazz’s Army sweaters pulled over her body.
“Tank? Are you drunk?” she asked in utter disbelief.
“What is it?” Ela, Jazz’s mom, called from inside the house, but Tessa just turned to her.
“Go back to bed everyone, I got it,” she replied loudly, making it obvious she wouldn’t let him inside even if he maybe wanted to talk to Jazz.
He snickered. “Maybe you, little lady, aren’t the person I want to talk to?”
She shrugged. “I don’t care. You can come back at a decent hour and talk to whoever the hell you want,” she replied, her voice hushed.
“Lucky you, I want to talk to you and time’s running out.” He shouldered past her, ignoring her quiet protest just as his best friend entered the living room. There was a seating arrangement to his side, a TV and wide living room before a hallway across from him led to the kitchen and to the stairs to the upper floor.
“Tank?” Jazz asked. He wore just pajama pants and nothing else.
“I need to talk to Tessa. Time’s running out,” he stated and Jazz turned on a small living room light.
“Are you drunk?”
Maybe he should feel insulted that everyone was asking him that, but truth was, most of the time the guess wasn’t too far off.
“I’m sober, okay? Actually probably more sober than ever in my life. Can we sit?” Because he felt that if he sat, maybe he’d more easily find the words—or appear more serious about the issue.
Jazz sat and pulled Tessa instantly against him. She drew her knees up, kissing Jazz’s cheek before focusing back on Tank. He felt out of place as he faced them, knowing he could get into a shit ton of trouble for this.
“You said time’s running out, so how about actually starting to talk?” Tessa suggested and he nodded, staring at his hands.
“That Army Charity thing—”
Tessa instantly groaned. “I cannot believe Evy put you up to this. I’m not going to apologize for my opinion, okay?”
“Tess, please, listen. Evy asked you about the project because her asshole boss demands she either land that gig or go home again before March ends.”
“Lanestrong did that? He should’ve known it’s nearly impossible for her.”
Tank nodded. “It’s exactly why he sent her, she thinks. He wants to see her fail.”
Jazz cleared his throat. “Tank, you need to understand what’s behind all this. This is not a birthday party we’re talking about.”
Closing his eyes, Tank willed himself to stay calm instead of lashing out at them. It wouldn’t help his case any.
“I know it’s a shit ton to do, okay, but Tessa, if she does that she can stay. If not…” He let the sentence hang in the air.
“Did you ask Evy what I told her? Why I turned her down when she told me how much she’d love to do it?”
He hesitated a moment, considering a bluff, then he shook his head.
“Tank, she needs to find musicians, bakers, the location, people who arrange it, decorations, everything. Elaborate Events will not hand anything over. They’ll cancel everything. The location might not be a problem, but everything else? They’ll bad-mouth the new organizer without knowing her or the company. The ramifications of what this event means are humongous. Have you stopped one moment to consider this?”
He hadn’t. God, he’d not paused one moment after hearing Evy would have to leave again.
“Is it hard? No doubt, but not impossible.” In truth, he didn’t have any idea if it was possible.
Maybe he should have taken the time to think about all this.
“If you don’t help her, Tess, she will not move to the US. She will go back to London. You love your best friend. You were so ready to have her here.” He didn’t want to give up, not when he needed time to figure out how to convince Evy that she belonged to him—and that he wanted everything with her.
Every little bit. The tears, the nights, the happy end.
Tessa watched him, her beautiful face drawn tight as she considered all options. Tank watched as Jazz kissed her shoulder, whispering something he couldn’t hear. Tessa didn’t react to her fiancé but stood instead.
“Fine,” she stated and then turned to him. “But now, please go.”
She walked out of the room without telling him goodbye and Tank couldn’t help but feel horrible. It seemed there was no right way to do this.
“I hope you’re happy now, Thomas. You didn’t think that through one bit, did you? You just saw Evy leaving and panicked, didn’t you? Or were you thinking you’d be the hero in this?”
Jazz shook his head and Tank licked his lips.
“She’ll be pissed hearing I told Tessa about what’s going on. She thinks she can do it alone, and the longer she just putters around, the harder it’l
l be. Tessa is her best friend. Besides, Jazz, you’d have done anything to keep Tess here.”
He knew he was begging, hoping his best friend would understand, but Jazz just snorted. “Difference is I wouldn’t have put her best friend in a position like that.”
“‘Position like that?’ To help a person she claims is family?”
Jazz shook his head with a bitter laugh. “You did not think that through. If this event fails, Tessa’s radio station might lose all the reputation they built up so far because Tessa insisted on picking Evangeline. Everything Tessa lives for would be down the drain. But hey, at least your girl would be happy, huh?”
Tank closed his eyes, trying for words, but before he could say them, Jazz had closed the door in his face.
He made his way back to his truck, sitting in the dark for a long moment.
Jazz was right—to an extent.
It probably was what made him feel the worst. He’d not considered what it meant, had not asked Evy or Tessa for the implications. Evangeline had nothing to lose, knew exactly what a project like this would entail, and she’d not asked Tessa directly.
Then again, that wasn’t the truth, either. Evy had thought she needed to make it alone. She probably hadn’t paused to think what it could mean for Tessa, or maybe Evy had and then had pushed the thought far in the back of her mind, telling herself she could always make it work without ruining Tessa’s reputation—or disappointing the Army.
God, besides Evy, who’d be pissed at him, now Tessa was angry, and so was Jazz, which Tank could absolutely understand.
“Good job, guy. Good job,” he muttered when the door suddenly opened and Tessa came out, slipping into the seat next to him.
“She cannot do it alone. Hilary needs to watch Leila for most of it because it’s a long, tough task.”
“She’s watching Johnny a lot of times,” Tank pointed out and Tessa’s expression darkened.
“Yes, which she gets paid for by the station, remember?”
Nope, he’d forgotten that and mentally told himself to just shut up because he could not say the right thing.