by Melody Rose
I shot into her room and turned my head in either direction to find her, but ended up empty-handed. The interior grated on my nerves and was highly offensive because it was styled in the fashion of a princess’ regal bedroom. I knew that this time, I didn’t have my father to rail against since it all reeked of Yavo and Irk’s misplaced tenderness for Joan. This must have been their attempt to cheer her up given her previous poverty and the rejection of not only her family but also her potential peers.
Well, I didn’t care that she was essentially an unwanted orphan. She wasn’t going to find any sense of belonging if she was unwilling to follow some basic protocol. I was pleased to find a mess of macarons scattered on her table. It was a great comfort to witness the fruit of my ingenious spell.
Where in the realm was she hiding? I would have suspected that she was terrified about the height of my powers, seeing that I was able to surmount her new companions’ pathetic attempts at safeguarding her. However, I didn’t detect hushed silence, but rather Aurelius’ mellow snores and an odd melody coming from a door at the far end of the room. I couldn’t believe that they had afforded her not only such opulence but another extension to the room! I advanced toward it to investigate.
I stopped in my tracks as my throat tightened. Though I prided myself for composure and proper breeding, I couldn’t tear myself from the sight before me. My eyes locked on Joan’s tremendously full breasts, suspended over her bathwater and slathered in a damp, soapy sheen. I’d never really noticed them before thanks to all the ill-fitting garments she wore: a loose apron at her family’s bakery, a boyish tunic at her beast tending apprenticeship, and a tragic robe at Bouclier. I wondered what types of crafts would result in academy attire that would do her better justice, and if I could convince her to play upon her more fetching features in the meantime.
As I contemplated which fabrics would be most suitable for the figure I had just discovered she had, I had the distinct feeling that blood was rushing from my head. Then I realized that the ache had come from a hairbrush launched at me with devastating accuracy.
“What the fuck?!” Joan shrieked so horrendously that I would have been disturbed, but I was transfixed by the bounce of supple flesh that followed her long-distance assault. Regardless, I was roused from my wordless reverie after she started finding other toiletries to throw at me.
“How’d you even get in here, you pervert?!” she demanded. “My room was supposed to have some sort of magical alarm system!”
“I did not come in here to…” It was very difficult to make a case that I didn’t intend to leer at her because I was, at this very moment, doing just that, but that certainly wasn’t why I had originally entered her quarters.
“Real convincing!” Rivulets of warm water adorned her curvaceous figure in an enticing way that brought to mind a nymph under the moonlight. That is until she had mercifully wrapped a rose-tinted terry cloth around her damp body. The color complemented her creamy skin quite well, but it was a far inferior sight to what had preceded it.
“Can you get out?!” Joan stressed with a frantic voice, her cheeks hot with irritation. “I don’t want to hear any excuses, I honestly just want to go to bed.”
I cleared my throat, able to more adequately collect my thoughts now that her soft distractions were concealed from view. “It would be my pleasure,” I coldly drawled, though that wasn’t quite true. “I do want to point out that what you just immersed yourself in is a rare privilege that you don’t deserve. First-years always share dormitories, as well as communal showers.”
I continued with my rant, “This instructs them to heed the virtue of modesty, which you clearly lack.” I ended my sardonic remark with a hiss of severity.
“That doesn’t even make sense!” she stammered with offended rage, nearly squeaking as she strained her vocal cords. “Do you expect me to bathe in a one-piece in the privacy of my own room?!” She hurled a silver soap dispenser at me and showed that her temper had little to no chance of dissipating.
“Anyway, I didn’t ask for this room! I’m just going through the motions and doing what I’m told!” Joan exclaimed and suddenly forcefully pushed me out of her bathroom, her towel inching precariously down in the process. Not only was this highly inappropriate of her, but I also took issue with her claim that she did what she was told.
I shook her ill-bred hands off of me as I would not tolerate being steered out of the room by a lamb’s blood. Since I had already received enough of an eyeful for the evening, I stormed off without gracing her so much as a good night.
After all, I had Joan to thank for the most infernal and annoying new experiences: the first time I shared a carriage ride with a low-grade human, the first moment I was assailed with food in my own dining quarters, and the first occasion I had ever been unwelcome in a woman’s room.
If I weren’t already seething at the injustice of it all, I would have channeled a hypnotic charm to make use of the ambiance that wasn’t even hers to enjoy. Honestly, I was expecting an apology for Joan’s unseemly outburst followed by a proper recognition of all the effort I had expended on her. Every attempt of mine to benefit her with wisdom and guidance was met with unreasonable disdain at every turn.
As I wrenched the door to my room open, Irk and Yavo collided into me. I supposed they had sprinted over at the sign of my arrival in order to negotiate on behalf of Joan and implore that I spare her. They quivered violently as though they were caught in a blizzard and looked up at me with glassy, pleading eyes.
“It ain’t her fault!” Irk yelped. His usual bravado had given way to earnest fear. “She had no idea where Abelard was putting her up, and we were the ones that wanted to spruce up her room a bit! Cheer her up!”
Yavo was similarly shaken, and his articulate nature had been overtaken by fear.
“I would have you keep your temper in check,” Yavo warned, casting aside his usual honorifics and jumped straight to his paternal demands. “If you had any mind to even threaten to feed her to Bouclier’s ogre, then I will have to immediately inform your father of your alarming aggression. He does not take kindly to resorting to high-order monsters.”
I was shocked. I was getting quite tired of having those below me put on airs and fail to recognize my authority. While Yavo had a bleeding heart and was the most sensitive troll I’d ever met, I had never known him to so much as question me, much less lecture me. This was especially upsetting since I had known him since I was a very young child when he had been assigned to me by my father. I had always thought that he was an ancestral gift passed down over the decades to carry out the will of the Von Brandt heir. If that were the case, then he was a defective servant, and I would have to arrange a suitable replacement.
“Is that so, you traitorous wretch?” I sneered with malice. “It would please you to know that you won’t have to fret over Joan being tossed to the ogre if you deign to scold me again because you will proceed her in that trip. You won’t even notice her absence.”
Irk had finally reached his predictably low limit and launched himself at me, pummeling my thigh with feeble punches. I didn’t even bother to evoke a telekinesis spell but rather grabbed him by the collar of his tunic and flung him with ease across the room. While many mages except for our championship athletes outsourced all of their tasks to enchantments, I was a firm believer in transforming one’s entire being into a well-honed instrument. As such, I had no trouble strong-arming the insolent goblin when he decided to cross me.
“Worry about yourselves before you risk your necks for another!” I bellowed, having expended the last drop of my patience. “At any rate, I have little desire to waste the effort dealing with her tonight, since teleportation has been disabled and my father has made a point to force mages to actually travel by foot to the very bottom of the pit’s lair. Apparently, he found me to be too liberal with my punishments.”
Yavo hastened to come to Irk’s aid and helped his fallen friend up. They both gawked at me in disbelief even th
ough I found my displeasure entirely within the realm of reason.
“Leave me be, you bothersome pests. If you would like to spare your newfound friend that you’ve become so familiar with,” I threatened, “then get out of my sight, and you can buy her another day yet.”
I waved my hand languidly as though they were a couple of needling gnats, and without another word, satisfied that their precious Joan would be safe for the night, they rushed out. I was mildly glad to be alone with my thoughts, so I could mull over the course of the day and decide how I would tackle the vexing puzzle than was Joan.
14
Joan
While I wasn’t a total prude and had my share of make-out sessions to pass the time in my mind-numbingly boring hometown, I’d never had someone so much as slip a hand under my shirt. Now I had some asshole barge into what was supposed to be my one precious moment of tranquility and eye my goods like I was for sale. Theo ruined whatever luxurious escapism was in the works, and once the water went cold and my nerves were on fire, I realized that I had a whole lot more to deal with than some debaucherous freak who thought that having the proverbial keys to the academy’s castle meant he could help himself to any of the students.
The whole upheaval of the day, softened only by the kindness of Aurelius and my pair of small but protective friends, made me realize that I didn’t want to be an insensitive prick like Theo. Since I was swept up by all the chaos, both majestic and maddening, I hadn’t even considered that I would need to make a decision about whether I would stay here. My world couldn’t just wait for me to take my sweet time and deliberate over my next step because I had very real responsibilities and a bunch of colleagues that were depending upon me. I couldn’t just leave Evergreen scrambling to figure out how to attend to its clients.
I ran through a few scenarios in my head to consider which would be the most believable one to tell. If I said that I had gone to a fancy private school, Evergreen would probably still expect me to pop over during the holiday breaks for some part-time work. Plus, Deirdre wouldn’t have it at all. She’d want to crash what was, for all she knew, a perfectly good situation by making at least one trip to the campus to scream her head off about how I was a disappointment and abandoning the family during its time of need.
I also imagined that Jasmine and Iris would want to sniff around the joint too and nose into my business. Since everything was a competition for them, they’d probably try to find a way to enroll as well. Even though the two of them were basically allergic to hard work, it’d be a point of pride for them to hop onto whatever I was interested in and gain access to it too. That was the reason they had agreed to stand around doing nothing but gossiping and maybe scooping out sugar at the MacKenna bakery. If I were going to get everyone off my back until I made a final decision, I’d have to concoct a cover story that had just enough detail to get everyone to buy it but was also just vague enough to be impossible to fact-check.
Essentially, I’d have to explain why I was seen with a gorgeous-by-society’s-standards blond trust fund baby who was dressed better than any other guy in town. I’d probably have to get Theo to play along to some extent, too, which was more than reasonable after he had violated my privacy a thousand times over!
Suddenly, an epiphany slapped me in the face. It wouldn’t exactly be pleasant, but it’d achieve its intended purpose. Back when I had freshly turned eighteen and was about to graduate high school, I had ranted to one of my friends… we were chummy, but not exactly the best buddies… about how I had no idea what I’d do to squirrel together the cash I needed to afford college. She’s the one that had told me about sugar babies who had created online dating profiles to lasso in a man who would agree to finance their lifestyle. I’m not exactly a cave-dweller, so I knew of the term, but I had always thought that women who agreed to these arrangements were into designer bags and beach resorts.
Instead, Samantha had told me that these days, sugar babies either had new ambitions or a new variety were entering the fold. Instead of asking for accessories or swank vacations, this new generation of bank-rolled companions was asking for rent and tuition. It couldn’t be that out of the realm of possibility that someone would not only date me but also that they might pay for the opportunity, right? There’s gotta be some bougie guys out there with a soft spot for animal-loving amateur bakers down on their luck, right? I mean, everyone’s got a type.
While I certainly was drawn more to the second option, that is, the updated sugar baby lifestyle complete with a fast track to a real diploma, I decided that was actually out of the question because, again, I didn’t want to be found. Who knows what type of as of yet unspoken rules I would be violating if anyone did actually catch wind of this world? I wondered if it would cause some type of collapse in the space-time continuum or some other apocalyptic crisis. I also didn’t want anyone to pick up on what they perceived to be a solid clue and scour the world I came from trying to find me. While my step-family didn’t care for me, there were a few folks who were quite fond of me at Evergreen and who would be none too pleased to think I was some missing person case.
As much as it didn’t really feel like “me,” I resolved that I’d have to play this all off as a case of a girl gone wild who took a rich provider’s hand with blind faith and jet-setted around the world. Even though I would have found that excessive and not terribly responsible, I did relish in the idea of sticking it to Iris and Jasmine. Even though they’d mooched off of my father’s life insurance and enjoyed a certain quality of life, what Theo represented couldn’t possibly compare. Not only did I grudgingly have to admit that he was handsome, but with the right exaggerations and humble-bragging selfies, I could really whip their ego to shreds. As of yet, a poster boy of pomp and circumstance hadn’t waltzed into their lives and offered to wave a magic wand at all of their problems. I wasn’t sure if he’d have any of the right tech for what I had in mind, but maybe if I explained myself enough, we could make do.
I stood deep in thought for a moment and then decided that I wasn’t going to improve my chances with Theo if I made my demand clad in my lust-killing robe. Even though I wasn’t completely certain that Bouclier was the right fit for me, I wanted to buy time in case I really did want my hometown to become old news. If I ever did come back, I could just endure the jibes about being discarded… or I guess I could claim I dumped him… then get back to my normal life.
I wasn’t quite sure what was on his mind when he barged in on me, but Theo seemed at least curious about certain features of mine, so I settled on playing up to them. Why the hell not? It was worth a try, and since I didn’t have any spells under my belt to bend him to my will, I’d have to take an alternate route to what I wanted. Still standing in a delightfully soft terry cloth towel, I twisted and turned in the mirror to get a good look at myself. Since I wasn’t exactly looking like a sultry vixen by any stretch of the imagination, I rummaged through the cabinets until I found a hand towel… not a tiny finger towel, because I wasn’t that desperate to negotiate… that was just long enough to cover up any X-rated parts. I then cracked open my dorm’s door, peeked left and right to make sure no one could see me in my moment of weakness, and speedily tip-toed up the flight of stairs that lead to Theo’s room.
I only prayed that I was right in my assumption that he would be the only one to occupy that floor. I couldn’t be that off base if he had his own elitist dining section.
I did totally score in this respect, at least, because the final floor of student housing had but a single door that was so painstakingly carved with a complex woodland motif that it made my head spin. It had a medieval-looking, wrought-iron circular knocker and what I imagined was a family crest… unless he had one commissioned just for himself, which honestly wouldn’t have surprised me… with a fiery bird that I guessed was a phoenix, a dragon, and a wand encircled with flames. I took a deep breath, tucked my towel as securely as I could over my chest while still offering an eyeful of cleavage, and rapped the large
metal hoop.
My late-night call was answered with a combative grumble, as though Theo was more than ready to fight whoever was on the other side of the door. I winced and hoped against hope that he would reconsider. I wasn’t really dressed for an all-out brawl.
After no doubt readying a tirade against this late-night intruder, Theo flung open the door… and stopped wordlessly in his tracks. His eyes locked onto the swell of my chest, and I had to do all I could to not slap him. This was all part of my plan, after all, and he wasn’t expecting me. He shifted almost imperceptibly from one foot to the other as his eyes trailed down to my exposed thighs, then he finally actually regarded me as a person instead of a piece of meat delivered to his door.
“I… hm…” Theo paused and measured his words carefully. That was a shocker since he usually said whatever rude remark had popped into his head. “I don’t remember that towel being quite so short.”
“Yeah…” I flicked my eyes to the side and then met his gaze again. He seemed far more patient than I’d ever seen him, but that wasn’t saying much. “I guess I kind of made you run off in a hurry, so you probably couldn’t have gotten a good look. I’m not usually ready for company in that sort of situation, you know?”
I felt a stroke of boldness trickle into my veins like an injection of supercharged heat and had to bite back a smirk. “It doesn’t bother you, does it?” I gave my best impression of unknowing doe eyes. “I could change, you know, but I don’t have anything other than my Evergreen uniform or my horrid robe, and you had such strong opinions about those.”
“With everything else that I’ve been forced to tolerate today,” Theo drawled with pronounced boredom, “this is the least of my concerns. You may come in and tell me why you have disturbed me tonight. I have some time to spare yet.” As a form of indifferent welcome, he stepped aside to allow me in. I was curious how much effort he wasted pretending not to care about my skimpy get-up.