“Yes and no. I met up with some guys from the shop. He isn’t here, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“It is, and good.” I dealt with enough crap between me and Seth, and didn’t want to throw Josh back into the mix. Two run-ins with him in the past few weeks was about all I could handle.
We took a seat next to Chelsea. “Chelsea!” Chris exclaimed. “How the hell are you?”
“Hi Chris. It’s crazy running into you here. Let’s see. I’m tired, and pregnant, and Ally dragged me out here when I’d much rather be in bed. I’m … exhausted. How about you?”
He widened his eyes. “Um, well, I’m wide awake, not pregnant, and I came here on my own accord.”
I requested another beer from the bartender. “Chris, if I relieved Chelsea of her duty of being my best friend and helping me through this shitty week by getting me drunk, would you respectfully take her place, and after, drop me off at the hotel, preferably near a garbage can so I can puke my guts out?”
He saluted like a soldier. “Gladly, Miss.” He turned to Chelsea. “You’re dismissed.”
Finally a smile spread across her face and she patted him on the knee. “You’re so funny. Not a jackass, like Josh.”
“Duly noted. And I’ll take care of Ally for you.”
She finished off her water. “Please, do. And don’t let her dance anymore. Especially to New Direction. She’s almost thirty, not a thirteen year-old girl.”
I had a weird obsession with the group. Sue me.
Chris promised to forbid me from dancing, and proceeded to let assure her he didn’t allow One Direction in his car. Chelsea and I exchanged goodbyes, and she left me with Chris, a piece from my past.
“Do you remember when we used to go to the bars? You, me, and Josh and Trina?”
He smirked, the corner of his mouth meeting the dimple on his left cheek. “Of course I do. We had a lot of fun.”
“We did.” Even though Josh and I broke up, I didn’t forget the great times we did experience together, especially those with Chris and Trina. “Chris, I'm really sorry to hear about Trina. She and I weren't the best of friends, but I was still very sad about what happened.”
“It's been almost a year now. I'm learning to live day by day.”
I still remembered the day when they sat Josh and I down and told us about Trina’s cancer diagnosis. We expected after her treatments, everything would be back to normal, but it wasn't. The cancer proved to be too aggressive, and before I knew it, Trina passed away. She and Chris, together since high school, had been part of each other’s lives for such a long time. The loss devastated everyone, and Chris broke down, losing a lot of weight and refusing to move on. Now, he looked healthy, and hearing about his new aspirations with working in the Dells, I realized he finally started to move forward.
“As long as we’re issuing our sympathies here, sorry about what happened with Josh. I know you find it hard to believe, but I didn’t realize what was going on. He kept me in the dark. Had I known, I would’ve told you as soon as I found out.”
“Don’t worry about it, Chris. I dealt with it, and moved on.”
He placed his bottle on the bar. “You did? Do tell.”
“I should clarify I did move on, but I’m not quite sure where we are right now.”
“How do you mean?”
Chris always asked questions and showed genuine interest in other people’s lives. Josh only ever cared about himself. In a different time, maybe Chris and I could have ended up together. Either way, I considered him a great friend. I explained the situation between Seth and me, and considering my past with Josh, he didn’t think I overreacted too much.
“It sounds to me, Ally, like you got it pretty bad for this guy.”
“I do.” I tapped my glass on the bar. “I did.” I slid it in a small circle. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m meant to be a spinster.”
“A spinster? Come on, Ally. You’re not even thirty.”
“Next month.”
“Wow. That’s amazing. You’re thirty and aren’t married with three kids to tote around. So fricking what? I’m almost thirty, and widowed. I’m not complaining about how lonely I am, and believe me, I’m painfully lonely without Trina by my side. You know what, though? You move on. Get over it, Ally. I don’t know why you and Seth broke up, because I don’t see a real reason in the story you told me, but work it out.”
I asked the bartender for another beer. If Chris was going to rip into me, I needed another.
“Is that a good idea?” Chris asked. “You’re already a little buzzed.”
“No, I’m not!”
“Your cheeks are flushed, you’re looking tired, and you’re pushing your chest into my shoulder as you say that.” I backed away. “All the tell-tale signs Ally Couper is buzzed.”
“Okay, okay. A tiny bit.” I squeezed my fingers together to show him how little. “Just one more, okay? And let’s dance!” Conversation diverted, and I wanted to do what I came here for - fun!
“No, no, no. I believe I promised not to let you dance.” He tried to pull me back down to my stool.
“Who the hell cares? Little-Miss-Perfect left.”
“Far from perfect.”
“Okay, well Little-Miss-Party-Pooper.”
“How about your pregnant best friend who needed some rest?”
“Whatever.” I took a swig of my beer and yanked Chris out of his chair, and dragged him out on the dance floor. “You’re dancing, whether you like it or not.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Someone stood on top of me, grinding a drill directly into my forehead because it offered the only explanation for the excruciating pain. I smacked my lips together and groaned. “What happened last night, Chels?” I pulled the covers up to my chin and rolled over.
“You got pretty drunk.”
I shot up in bed at the sound of a man’s voice. “Chris? What?” I glanced around the room. One bed. A dresser. Dark walls, wood floors. This wasn’t my room. It wasn’t even a hotel room. “Why am I here?” I touched under the covers. “And why am I only in my underwear and bra?”
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God! I got plastered and slept with Chris. Chris! The only thing worse than sleeping with your ex was sleeping with your ex’s best friend. I needed to tell Josh. And Seth. Shit. How would I tell Seth? Should I tell Seth? Screw it. We broke up, so I didn’t owe him a thing, but Chris and Josh were best friends, and I, well, I was a horrible person.
Chris sat down on the bed, and as the mattress sunk in with him beside me, I grasped the covers tighter. “Look. We both got pretty drunk last night.”
“Oh, no.” I pressed my hand to my forehead.
“One thing led to another, and …”
“We …”
He nodded. “We sure did.” He touched my knee over the sheet, and I pulled away. “You really let yourself go, Ally. You were quite a mess.”
What the hell? He insulted my performance in bed? What happened registered as wrong on so many levels, but cut me some slack. I wanted to punch him, and cry, and punch him some more. My headache sliced through my brain, and now I felt even shittier, if that were even possible. “I’m sorry, Chris. I don’t know what to say, and I don’t remember the sex.”
“Sex? Who said anything about sex?”
I pointed my finger at him. “But, you said.”
“Oh, no, I’m not talking about sex.”
“You said one thing led to another and we…”
“Ended up at the tattoo parlor. You begged me for a tattoo of this guy Seth’s name on your right thigh.”
I shoved the covers off my legs, not caring if I exposed my bra and underwear. I grabbed my leg, checking every inch of my skin for ink. “I don’t see anything. Please tell me it’s not somewhere else.”
“It’s not. I wouldn’t let you do it.”
“Oh!” I flung my head back. “Thank you, God!”
“It’s actually, Chris.”
“Shut up, jerk! S
o we didn’t sleep together?” My mind raced through all the things wrong with sleeping with Chris, and my regret list was getting much too long.
He smiled. “No. I’m only screwing with you.” He pulled open the curtains, and the sunlight pouring into the room, forcing me to shut my eyes and groan at the pain in my head. “You drank way too much last night. After your third beer, I came back from the bathroom and found you doing shots with some random guy.”
I tried to play the night back in my head. “I don’t remember talking to anyone but you.”
“I’m not surprised. By the time we left the bar, you could barely walk. I managed to get you to the tattoo parlor, where you begged me for the tattoo. You finally accepted my refusal after you puked the first time.”
“Um. The first time?” What the hell did I do?
“Yeah. The first time. You lost it in my car once, too, and again when we got back here.”
“I vomited in your car?”
He raised his eyebrows, but still wore a smirk.
“I’ll pay for you to get it cleaned.” Realizing my still exposed body, I wrapped the sheet around me. “Why am I almost completely naked in your bed?
“After you finished puking your guts out, you passed out. I managed to get your stinky ass clothes off you, washed them, and slept on the chair.”
“Chris, I’m so sorry, really. How embarrassing.”
“Don’t be. I get it. Your clothes are in the dryer, if you want to take a shower. Chelsea will be here soon to pick you up.”
In this midst of this story of my wayward evening with Chris, Chelsea didn’t even cross my mind. Pissed didn’t even begin to explain how she probably felt about me. I promised her we would be back to the hotel in an hour; instead, I ditched her, got wasted, and spent the night away from her. During her birthday celebration, nonetheless. I didn’t know if I could get out of this one. I finally convinced her to be friends again, and now my stupid decisions forced me to do it one more time. “A shower would be great.” I paused. “And Chris?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks for not taking advantage of me. You’re a good friend.”
“You are too.”
The thing was, I knew I wasn’t.
----------
I didn’t recognize the woman looking back at me in the mirror. The Ally I grew up with was strong, with her priorities straight, and her shit together. She didn’t screw over her friends, lie to her mom, and puke all over her friend’s car. I squeezed my hair with the towel, trying to dry as much of it as possible. I didn't find a hair dryer, but, considering Chris’ lack of hair, that wasn’t at all surprising. The best thing about my shorter hair was air drying took much less time. I hoped coffee waited for me on the other side of the door, and I planned to drink it along with downing an aspirin to get rid of my headache. The shower helped a bit, at least. I slipped my day old underwear back on, along with my bra. I got my finger wet and scrubbed my teeth. My breath surely smelled, and hopefully the coffee helped a little, but coffee breath might be worse. I didn’t really care.
Topping my to-do list was apologizing profusely to Chelsea. If she didn’t forgive me, I certainly wouldn’t blame her, although it’d make for an interesting drive home. From bashing her relationship with Daniel to ditching her at the bar last night, I should go down in the hall of fame as worst friend ever. Did that category exist? I let out a sigh when Chris knocked on the door. “I brought your clothes.”
Even though he saw me in my bra and underwear, I widened the door. “Thanks.” I took the clothes, noticing they were different from what I wore last night. I opened the door again. “Chris? Where did these come from?”
“From me.”
That voice. “Seth? What … what are you doing here?”
He peeked his head in the crack of the door. When he looked into my eyes, the one crease in his forehead lifted as he realized (and I as well) I stood only in my undergarments. I didn’t even cover up, forgetting for a moment we (kind of) broke up. “Chelsea called me. She said you had an interesting night.”
“That’s an understatement.” We kept staring at each other. “Let me get these on. I’ll be right out.”
I shut the door, panic taking over me, my breaths increasing each time I tried to grab more air. What did this mean? Did he come here to officially break up with me? Walking away from me in the restaurant parking lot didn’t send a clear enough message? I was a wreck and couldn’t blame him. The Ally I was needed to take over and confront him, be strong, not allowing myself to hold back from everything I wanted to say. If Seth couldn’t find the strength to move on like Alyssa, and move forward with his life, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I didn’t want to live in the past. I ran my fingers through my hair and tucked it behind my ears. The sink bracing me, I stared myself down. “Here goes nothing,” I said to my reflection.
When I stepped back into the bedroom, Seth sat on the bed and Chris the chair opposite him, both laughing. “I like this guy.” Chris slapped his knee and thumbed over to Seth. “Dude cracks me up!”
I liked him, too. A hell of a lot. Seeing him walk out of my life forever was going to suck. Our relationship barely had been given a chance. Things between us would have been amazing, if he’d only allowed himself to focus on the future. We could use three different kinds of birth control if my getting pregnant freaked him out so much. I wasn’t in a rush, anyway, to have children. My thoughts didn’t mean a thing, anyway. He only came dump me in a more gentlemanly manner.
“Hi.” Seth greeted me as though we hadn’t spoken moments before.
“Hi,” I replied back like we were two middle school students on their first date. Ever.
“Okay, you two, I can see you are engrossed in conversation, so, with that, I’m going to head out. I’m going to get some breakfast.” He shook Seth’s hand and looked at me. “Go ahead and lock up on your way out.”
The door shut behind Chris and I stood there, not sure who should speak first. “So, Chelsea called you, huh?”
“Apparently your friend Chris called her, and she tracked me down at the B&B. You’re familiar with how the chain of events goes.”
“Why did you come all the way out here? You walked away from me, remember?”
“Yeah, I remember, and I’m sorry. I should have taken the time to explain.”
I placed my hands on my hips as I shook my head. Sucking in air as I held back the tears, I kept my head moving at a solid pace. My head pounded, but it remained shaking as I contemplated how to respond. What did I want from him? An apology? For him to grovel at my feet? Then what? Did that suddenly put us back together and we forgot everything that happened? No, because Seth still had a daughter he buried way too young and he hadn’t yet learned how to manage the pain. Issues with jealousy blocked my full trust for him as I wondered if I would assume every girl he spoke with was someone he potentially could cheat on me with. Josh scarred me more than I ever admitted. I skipped past his attempt to apologize. “Why didn’t Chelsea come get me?”
“Chelsea went home.”
“She what?” Shit. Now I did it. I pissed her off enough she called my ex-boyfriend to drag my sorry ass home so she didn’t have to. I brought her to Wisconsin Dells to celebrate her birthday, not meet up with an old friend, get piss drunk and forget all about her. After this, I doubted she would ever trust me again.
“I told her to go ahead and take your car, and I would drive you home. She didn't want to go, but I explained that you and I need to talk. You’ll be locked in a car with me for two hours, so we’ll be forced discuss this.”
“You could have called instead of driving all this way.”
“Yes, but I wanted to talk in person. I care about you, Ally.” He approached me, and for some reason, I stepped back so I stood back in the bathroom. “Don’t you care about me, too?”
More than you know, I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs. But I’m tired of being screwed over! I can’t trust anyone. I’m so sorr
y for what you went through, and my issues are petty compared to yours, but they’re there. I’m afraid of losing you, so it’s best we aren’t together. I couldn’t say those words, though. All I managed to say, was, “Yes.”
He reached for my hand with his, intertwined our fingers, and guided me into the small living room where we both sat down on the couch, so close to each other our knees almost touched. “I want a future with you.”
“You do?”
His lips parted slightly as his eyes widened. “Of course, I do. Since I met you, well, that’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time.” His hand moved to my thigh. “I care about you and enjoy our time together.”
Just because we liked to hang out didn’t rubber stamp us as soul mates. Even though Alyssa told me about their daughter, Seth still refused to open up to me. Relationships required honesty, truth, and candidness. “I kissed my ex-fiance.”
“What?” His hand leapt off my leg as he jumped to his feet, raking his fingers through his hair in a panic. “When? Why? How?” My eyes burned as I tried to keep up with his frantic pace. “Wait. I know how.” He knelt beside me. “Why?”
“It happened a few weeks ago. It didn’t mean anything.”
“Then why did it happen?”
“Why does anything happen, Seth?” My turn came to stand and start pace the room. “He stopped over one night out of the blue. I felt lost, confused and he was, I don’t know, comfortable and familiar. He went in for the kiss, and I didn’t push him away.”
Seth took his time raising to his feet. “Did you … I mean …” his voice cracked.
I shook my head. “No. I told him he was still an asshole and kicked him out.”
A grin spread across Seth’s face and I realized as dumb as it was to kiss Josh, there were worse things I could have done.
“While we’re talking truths, I suppose I should tell you about the geocache I shut Mike up about when he mentioned it.” He pretended his mouth was a zipper and moved his finger across them. “I talked to Alyssa before Chelsea even called me. Okay, more than talked. We argued, and cried. And I realized there isn’t a reason to hide this from you.” He clasped his hands together and held them to his heart. “The whole geocaching community knows my loss. All those who found it are a part of it.” He approached me again, reaching for me and I obliged. We stood there, staring at each other, and he held my face between his palms. I stood on my tip toes until our lips almost touched. “You’re the one person I want part of my life the most, and the one I’m keeping it from.” His lips pressed against mine, and my heart sped up, realizing this was the comfortable and familiar feeling I needed and wanted. “It’s time I show you.”
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