Taylor smiled. “Perhaps you are allowing yourself some hope.”
“Really not,” Amanda said emphatically.
“How long has it been since you’ve seen your mother?” Taylor asked.
“I wasn’t even ten yet when she went off on the Nostromo.” Amanda blew out a breath and flipped over a queen, but there was nowhere to place it. “It’s funny, there are days when I forget what she looks like. I mean, I have pics on my NohtPad, so I can always remind myself, but some days…” She shook her head, tossing the cards aside.
“Then again, other days, her face and voice are all I see and hear. But I remember that last day I saw her like it was yesterday…”
SEVASTOPOL STATION
DECEMBER 2137
I don’t deserve this. I’m a good man. A decent man.
I gave up my dreams of becoming “Clark Dozarian, bestselling novelist” to come to Sevastopol and start a business for my family. Be a provider.
I wasn’t bitter when the megacorps put the squeeze on the little guy and Sevastopol went down the tubes. So what if I had to close the shop and take a minimum-wage job? I’d gotten my hands dirty before. Good, honest work.
Margaret didn’t see it that way. She took the kids and left last year. But I was glad.
Sevastopol’s no place for kids.
I didn’t panic or take up arms when the killings started. I had faith in the marshals. I’m a law-abiding citizen.
Then I saw that thing kill my neighbor and I found myself a gun.
I only had two bullets left.
I heard something coming up behind me. I turned and I shot it twice. I wasn’t going to let it kill me.
But it wasn’t the thing. It was one of the marshals. And I shot him. I didn’t mean to. Never killed anyone before. It was an accident.
Know what the sad thing is? I still hadn’t killed anyone. He was still alive.
Until the thing killed him.
I don’t deserve this. I’m a family man. A provider. Law-abiding.
Got my hands dirty.
I’m still a decent man.
6
VANCOUVER, CANADA, EARTH
JULY 2120
Sitting on the floor next to the door of her tiny bedroom, head against the wall, Amanda tried not to cry while listening to Mom and Paul shout at each other. She failed, though, and tears burned around her eyes.
It wasn’t really her bedroom. Paul’s apartment only had one tiny bedroom, but he let the nine-year-old sleep there when she was staying with him, while he crashed on the couch in the tiny living room. Half the time, he never even made it that far, just collapsed on the floor by the front door when he came in from a night out.
Amanda tried to be in bed asleep when he had his nights out. She got yelled at less that way.
The apartment was filthy—Paul never bothered to clean it, so she did what she could. It was never enough. The windows were always closed, so the air was thick and stifling, and the shades kept it gloomy. She left hers open, so her room was the brightest, but the window was small.
And the walls were thin.
“Goddammit, Paul, I’ve been gone for four months,” Mom yelled. “Would it have killed you to be at Tereshkova when my shuttle landed?”
“’M sorry,” he responded. “I lost track’a what day it was. Thought it was tomorrow.”
“I put it on Amanda’s calendar before I left—didn’t she remind you?”
Amanda bent her knees and wrapped her arms tightly around them. Burying her face in her thighs, she hid her tears, even though the only one who could see her was her stuffed tiger, Daniel. And Daniel was the only one who didn’t care when she cried.
She had reminded Paul… that morning, and he’d said he’d pick her up after school and they’d go to Tereshkova Terminal together, and to Mom when she disembarked from the dropship that would bring her down from the Sotillo. That was the ship she’d been serving on as warrant officer.
But Paul never showed.
“Look,” he said, louder now, “it’s been rough. I got laid off when Weyland-Yutani bought us out.”
“Laid off or fired for being an asshole?”
“Fuck you, Ellen.” Even louder. “I’ve been taking care of your kid while you’ve been haring off across the solar system.”
“Really? Taking care of her? Is that why when we hit orbit, I got twenty messages from the school saying she’d been late or absent? The warnings had been coming for weeks.”
“It’s fine,” he said. “I took care’f it.”
“They’re threatening to expel her, Paul!”
“I fucking said I fucking took care of it!”
Amanda had been tempted to go ahead to Tereshkova without him. Technically, she wasn’t allowed to ride the train by herself, but she’d already done that to get home, since she had missed the bus waiting for Paul to come get her.
The problem was, the school gave all the students rail passes that enabled them to travel for free, but only from school to the stop nearest their homes. Hers allowed her to go to either the 49th Street station near Paul’s apartment, or the Main Street station to go to Mom’s. She couldn’t use it to get to Tereshkova, and while she had a little bit of money on her, it wasn’t enough to get a rail pass to go all the way out to the terminal.
Suddenly, the door slid open. Amanda let out an “Eep!” of surprise, her heart beating faster, scared that Paul was going to come in angry and yelling. But no, it was Mom. Her head turned as she looked around the room, then stopped when she saw Amanda on the floor next to the door. Smiling, she reached out a hand.
“Sweetheart, what’re you doing on the floor?”
“Just sittin’.” She reached out eagerly, her mother’s large warm hand embracing hers like a tiny hug. Amanda wiped away the tears, hoping they weren’t noticeable. Climbing to her feet, she wrapped her arms around Mom’s waist for a proper hug.
“It’s so good to see you, sweetheart.”
“I’m sorry we didn’t get to meet you,” Amanda said quickly. “I tried to tell Paul, but he wasn’t home.”
Mom stroked her hair. “It’s all right. I’m here now, and I’m home for a month.”
That got Amanda to break the embrace and look up.
“Only one month?”
“Yes, and then I’m gonna be away for a really long time.”
The tears had stopped when Mom came in, but they started up again.
“Why?”
“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Mom said. “Come on.” She led Amanda over to the bed, and sat on the edge. Amanda sat right next to her so she could snuggle into a shoulder. Her mother put her arm around her.
“Do you remember when I was on leave,” she began, “and we went out to Mars on the Tremolino?”
Amanda nodded. She’d loved that year of Mom’s leave. Thanks to the job on the Sephoria, they’d actually been able to buy real food sometimes, instead of those awful QuikMeals, and they even went out to eat once, and Mom was able to get her vid scrip reactivated. But best of all was being able to take that trip to Mars on the Tremolino.
“That was Captain Dallas’s ship, right?”
“Yes.” Mom smiled. “This has to do with him.” She had a nice smile, and Amanda was glad that she got to see it again. Especially in this apartment, where hardly anyone ever smiled. Well, except for Daniel the tiger, who always smiled, but he was usually the only one.
Amanda recalled that Dallas was a nice person. She actually enjoyed the trip on the Tremolino almost as much as being on Mars.
“What about him?”
“Well, he has a new ship, a cargo hauler called the Nostromo. His warrant officer just retired and he needs a new one, and he asked me.”
“So you get to work for him?” She wiped her nose, and grinned. “That’s nifty!”
Mom chuckled. “Yes, it is. Nifty. When did you start using that word?”
Amanda shrugged. “Afeo at school used it, and I like it. It’s a
nifty word!” Again, Mom laughed, and Amanda felt better. She got to laugh at school, but never at home. At least, not in this home.
“The point is, Dallas wants me on the Nostromo, and they just took on a big contract to bring cargo back from Thedus.”
Amanda pulled away from Mom’s shoulder and looked up at her. “Where’s that?”
“A long way away. We’re gonna be gone for about two years.”
Amanda leapt away from the bed. “That’s forever!”
“It’s not forever, sweetheart.”
“You can’t go away that long!” She backed away. “It’s not fair!”
“Sweetheart, please, listen—”
“No! You’re going away and leaving me with Paul!”
“Just for a little while!” Her mother stood up, but kept her distance. “That’s why I’m doing it. See, this job pays better than any job I’ve had since—since ever, really. Even more than the Sephoria. It’s a huge contract, and when I get back, I’ll finally be able to pay off all our debts, maybe move to a better apartment—best of all, we might be able to send you to a better school.”
She moved closer and put her hands on Amanda’s shoulders. “Even better than that, after this job, I won’t have to take long trips anymore. I can stay in the solar system, maybe even stay on Earth.”
“Then you’ll be home all the time?” Amanda couldn’t believe it. Mom almost never had good news.
“That’s the plan,” Mom said. “We’ll be taking the ship out to Neptune first, to meet up with the hauler, so we’ll be in the system for a month.” That made her grin.
“So you don’t have to go sleepy-byes?” Amanda mirrored the grin.
“Not until we get to Neptune, no,” Mom said. “We can send each other notes. Then after that, it’ll be ‘sleepy-byes’ for eight months until we get to Thedus, a month to load up the hauler, and then thirteen months back, since the ship will be heavier with all the cargo.” She held out her hand. “C’mere.”
Amanda let her mother lead her over to the tiny desk with her computer on it. She called up the calendar, and saw the entry Amanda had put on that day’s date.
MOM’S HOME!
That got another smile out of her. Then she scrolled ahead twenty-three months. Amanda’s birthday was already flagged.
“Your eleventh birthday,” Mom said. “I’ll be back for that, and I’ll buy you the best present ever.”
“What kind of present?” Amanda asked eagerly.
“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, now would it?”
Amanda huffed. “Fine.”
“Now give me a hug, and then get your things together. Tonight, we’re going to Zorba’s.”
“Yay!” Zorba’s was Amanda’s favorite restaurant in the whole world.
“And remember, I don’t even leave until a whole month from now, and it’s just gonna be you and me the whole time.” She held up a hand. “I promise.”
“Yay!” Amanda said again.
Mom always kept her promises.
* * *
The next month was the best of her life. Even better than when Mom took that year off.
For the first two weeks they went to the zoo, they went shopping, they caught up on all the vids they could sit and watch, they ran in the park, and so much more. Sometimes they met Captain Dallas, and he joined them on their outings. Mom made sure Amanda got to school on time every day, and picked her up and rode the train home with her.
Their home.
When it was time for Mom to head out on the Nostromo, Paul met them at Tereshkova Terminal. He looked like he was growing a beard again.
“Glad you could make it,” Mom said, hands on hips.
“I said I’d be here, I’m here.” Then he looked down at Amanda. “How you doing, baby girl?”
“M’okay.” Paul smelled bad, and Amanda didn’t like it.
She didn’t want her mother to leave.
They stood in the waiting room at the security gate. Paul and Amanda weren’t allowed to go past that part, and there were lots of people all around saying goodbye to other people. There was a man with dark hair and a beard, wearing a ballcap that said NOSTROMO on it. He approached, and Amanda brightened as soon as she saw him.
“Captain Dallas!”
“Hey, Armadillo!” Dallas came closer and picked her up. Amanda had liked spending time with him. Mom seemed more relaxed when he was around.
“It’s Amanda,” she said, pretending to be exasperated just like she always did when Dallas got her name wrong. Last time he had called her Aardvark. He’d been doing that sort of thing ever since the Mars trip on the Tremolino.
“I knew it was something like that.” He put her down, then looked at Dad. “You must be Mr. Carter. I’m Arthur Dallas. The Nostromo’s my boat.”
Paul just kind of stared at Captain Dallas’s hand for a second, then reached out and shook it.
“Hi.”
“You and Ripley raised yourself a fine daughter here,” Dallas said. “I’m sure you’ll take good care of her while we’re out yonder.”
Paul looked confused, like he didn’t know what to say. So he didn’t say anything. If Captain Dallas noticed, though, he didn’t mention it.
“Well, I’d better be gettin’ on,” he said. “See you on board, Ripley?”
Mom nodded.
As soon as Dallas was out of sight, Paul finally remembered how to talk.
“You’re sleeping with that guy, aren’t you?”
“He’s my boss.”
“Yeah, so? How the hell else did you get such a plum assignment?”
Mom wasn’t relaxed anymore. “It’s called being good at my job, and taking pride in it,” she said, and she sounded angry. “Granted you’ve never actually tried that, but—”
“Hey, I take pride in every job that’s worth being prideful about.”
“And when was the last time that—” Mom cut herself off. “No, I’m not having this argument. You want to fuck up your life, go right ahead. But I swear to you, if anything happens to Amanda…”
“She’ll be fine.” Paul actually smiled. “She’s already smarter than the both of us put together.”
Mom looked down at Amanda, and she also smiled, ruffling her daughter’s blond hair. “That much we can agree on.” She knelt down in front of Amanda. “Take care of yourself, okay, sweetheart?”
“I will,” she said. “And I’ll see you on my ’leventh birthday!”
“Yes, you will!” Mom laughed and hugged her tight. Amanda felt the tears coming, and held her mother so hard she didn’t think she’d ever let go. But eventually she had to. She wiped the tears away with her wrist as Mom straightened and walked toward the security gate.
“C’mon, baby girl,” Paul said, and he started walking away to the exit without even looking to see if Amanda had followed. She turned and ran to catch up with him. By the time she did, she noticed they were headed toward the south exit, instead of the north one where they’d come in.
“Where are we going?” The north exit led to the train line that would take them to Paul’s apartment.
“We just need to make a stop,” he said over his shoulder. “Won’t be long, I promise.”
Amanda sighed. This wasn’t the first time they’d made a stop on the way home, and it usually took most of the night. She just hoped that they would go to a bar that had good vid, or games to play. Maybe he’d go to the one that had that vintage pinball machine—she’d always loved that one, with the mechanical levers.
* * *
For the next month, she and her mother exchanged messages. They were too far away for real-time calls, but Amanda made a recording each and every day, and her mom recorded one for her. The farther away the Nostromo got from Earth, the longer they took to arrive.
* * *
“Hi, sweetheart. Things are going well here.
“Mostly well, at least. Our two engineers are annoying. Kane, the exec, runs a good ship, though. I can see why Dallas hired
him.
“I miss you, and I hope your father remembers to take you to the botanical gardens for that orchid show that’s supposed to be opening soon.
“I love you, and I’ll see you when you’re eleven.”
* * *
“Hiya Mom! Paul said he was gonna take me to the orchid show yesterday, but then he got a job interview, so we didn’t go. He didn’t tell me if it went good or not, so it probably didn’t—’specially ’cause he went out late.
“I miss you so much, Mom! See you when I’m eleven!”
* * *
“Hi, sweetheart. So I’ve been thinking that Kane is a hardass, but he’s got a sentimental streak.
“Yesterday, he organized an early surprise party for Lambert’s birthday, since we’ll be sleepy-byes when it should happen. He planned this weeks ago, before we even embarked, hid a cake in the freezer and everything. It was small, but it got everyone comfortable after that.
“The whole ship feels more relaxed. There are seven of us stuck in a tin can for a month before we go into cryo—um, before we go sleepy-byes, so it’s good that Kane did that. Even Dallas is more relaxed, and I didn’t think that was possible.
“I miss you, sweetheart, and I love you, and I’ll see you when you’re eleven!”
* * *
“Hiya Mom! So I’m finally gonna see the orchid show! Paul didn’t take me—he kept forgetting or saying we couldn’t do it. But then Ms. Figueroa gave us a surprise! We’re goin’ on a field trip to the botanical garden next week! Paul still hasn’t replied to the permission note yet, but I’ll keep reminding him.
“I love you tons, Mom, and I’ll see you when I’m eleven!”
* * *
“Hello there, Anteater! Your Mom told me that you were kinda upset because your stepdad didn’t give you permission to go on the field trip to the botanical garden, so I thought I’d cheer you up with a message from your ol’ pal Captain Dallas.
“Now I know you had your little heart set on seeing those flowers, Alligator, but you know what the great thing is about flowers? They come back! Every year, there’s always new flowers, and they’re just like the old flowers—except not exactly, they’re slightly different. And that’s what’s great about the universe. There’s a whole lotta beauty and it’s all just a tiny bit different from all the other beauty.
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