“ Peewee, the only books you read are anime porn.” Karen snickered at him.
“ Some of them are fucking intense, dude, will she fuck him, will she fuck her, will they all have a three way or my favorite twist an orgy with a tree that has a huge massive dick, N.Y time bestseller right there.” Little did anyone know, he was the author of some well written self-published erotica. “ Glad you called me over, thought you’d gone No Man on me again.” He smiled at her.
After Karen’s little run in with her stranger, the last thing she wanted to do was be alone with her thoughts. She always got into more trouble when she allowed herself to think too freely, that was the side she wanted to numb as much as possible. “ Sorry, about that, I’m all better now.” She gave him the Fonzy thumb up of approval.
“ You want me to keep reading or should I just pull the gun out and end it here.” He flashed his charming goofy smile.
“ Just keep reading.” She said to him, bracing herself for what came next.
“ It rained today, an old man spoke to me, he bared his soul about himself, telling me his life story, I came home and cried. I could never tell anyone what am I, or who I was, the past is mine to keep, no one’s else, if they saw what I was, they’d never see me the same again.” Karen couldn't help but look at Peewee and feel the guilt of always keeping her life hidden from him, she wonder herself, if her only friend would still stand beside her if he knew everything?
“ I just want to isolate myself from the world, build a wall where no one can see me, where no one can talk to me, free to be myself, to act how I wanted, without anyone judging me. But I wonder, would I truly be happy or would I judge myself to a point where I knew taking my own life would be my only salvation?” Peewee was ready to turn the page over, but Karen grasp his arm. “ What’s wrong?” He asked.
“ You know nothing about me.” She stared into his innocent face. “ You don’t know who I was or where I came from.”
Peewee darted his eyes around the room, he was wondering if this was some sort of a prank, he knew MTV was notorious for them, after all they needed to do something to kill the time, it wasn’t like they would played music for any reason at all. “ You feeling ok?”
“ Does it bother you?” She asked him.
He put the notebook aside. “ Ok, start talking, what happened when you went under, because I know you haven’t been right since then.”
“ I haven’t been right in so many years,” She chuckled, knowing she couldn’t tell him everything, but she needed to tell him something. “ Scott’s hypnoses brought some unwanted memories, things I rather have buried.”
“ Like what?” He asked.
Why can’t you tell me! Whispers of Jamie’s voice screamed somewhere in the distant. “ Just some complicated stuff.” She said to him.
“ Well, it can’t be that bad.” She laughed at his response, as she held down some unwanted tears, Peewee took her hands into his. “ Who gives a fuck, I don’t care what you were or what you did, if you never want to tell me, so be it, I’m not going to rag on you for it. You’re my buddy.” Words of honesty that brought tears down her eyes. “ Look whatever it is, don’t sweat it, you’re my Karen, the one I know, the rest can go to hell for all I care.”
“ Jamie hated me for it,” She let out an wanted truth seep out, Peewee cocked his head. “ It had nothing to do with what we did, she liked me Peewee, really liked me, she poured her heart out.”
“ I didn’t know that.” He was stunned by the revelation, he always knew Karen was Bi, but he never expected for Jamie and her to be romantically involved. “ Did you guys pursue anything?” Karen nodded her head as she let out a good cry. “ So, what happened?”
“ I could never really be there for her, she wanted to know more and more, I just couldn’t, it was a one way street leading nowhere.” Karen let the images of that night come pouring back. “ She just yelled at me, I had never seen her so angry, she wanted me to leave, she wanted me to leave the both of you, she said I could never be in love, with so much to hide and that our friendship was just base on a fetish, that the moment she met me,” Karen choked up to spit out the words. “ she regretted everything, she told me that everything we did was a mistake, that I was a cancer to both your lives.”
Peewee shook his head in disgust, not at Karen, but at Jamie. “ She had no right to speak for me.” He held on tighter to Karen’s hand, reassuring his friend she had nothing to cry about. “ I don’t regret a fucking a thing, you’re the best thing in my life, Karen.” She laughed. “ It’s true, I mean, I was at the point in my life, when I was Cindy Hall.” He waved the notebook in the air. “ Yes, it’s fucking strange as hell we all met in a chat room, but think out of all the possibilities, if we hadn’t been there, where would we be?” He tossed his arms into the air. “ I’m not a God man, but, faith had to play some part and frankly if Jamie couldn’t even realize that, then fuck her!” He said nice and loud for all to hear, Karen couldn’t hide the smile on her face. “ It was never the three Musketeers, it was BATMAN & ROBIN and it’s going to be like that for many years to come.”
“ Promise.” She held out her pinky.
“ Promise.” They did their pinky swear. “ Now, let’s get something to eat before we have to read another page of this suicide aid, my treat.”
“ You cheap bastard,” Karen spat out. “ We’re going to Rusty Chicken shack.”
“ $4.99 you can’t be that!” He argued. Only to have Karen smile like never before, normality seemed to descended back into her chaotic world, at least for now.
Chapter 50
BROKEN PROMISE
Rita would never admit to her other officers, but there were times she crossed the line with suspects, especially with males. They all walked into the interrogation room acting they were hundred times better than you, that women were only good for two things, sucking their small cocks and taking it up the cooch when their tiny sticks needed to be pleasured.
She remember her first bust as a beat cop, she pulled over a Hispanic male trying to sell some drugs to the kiddies in the park, when she threw him against the hood of the car to frisk him and began to ask questions, he began to act as he was the dominant one in the situation. “ No bitch lay a hand on me, how about I show you how to behave.” He began to wrestle with her, after all he couldn‘t let his street cred go down the drain and especially not to a woman. The moment he swung at her, Rita blocked and kneed him in the crotch, but she wasn't about to end it there, she grabbed the nightstick and cracked into his face, breaking his nose apart. He cried out like a wounded pig, the thugs around stared on, so she gave him a few good whacks to the back of his skull when he was lying on the floor, she wanted to put a good show for his buddies to see, she wanted to send a message.
After that, each time she drove down the same street to do her rounds, everyone ran for the hills as though they had seen the devil, it was the only way she could earn her respect in this jungle full of killers, drug peddlers and rapist. “ You need to show that you don't fear them, that they should fear you.” Her father's wise words, from a cop that never backed down or looked down to the toughest assholes who roam these streets.
“ Be honest with me, Bobby, and this will go down much easier.” She carried her father's teachings wherever she went, and tonight she was using that skill on a known drug peddler for Hector Pardo. A small timer that worked out of the Bronx, the ones dressed in the flashy jump suits and over the top gold chains, telling the world, I’m a made man. Dumb fools that had watched Scar Face so many times, they wanted to believe they were Tony Montana, when in retrospect, they were nothing but Pardo’s bitches, when he said jump, they asked how high. “ You know something about Denise, I can see it in your eyes.”
“ For the hundred fucking time, I don’t know shit.” Bobby was like an angry child, on the verge of dropping to the floor and crying his eyes out, just so he could go home. “ If Pardo was pissed, I would know, we all would know, he makes it a ha
bit to keep all of us in line. But I never heard anything about this bitch on the photo !”
He waved the photo at Rita, which only sent her on a rage. She grabbed the back of his neck, slamming his face forward to the cold steel table. She unplugged the camera overhead before starting this interview, just another lesson her father passed on, if you're going to get rough, make sure no one see's it. “ That bitch, was someone’s daughter. That bitch’s name was Denise Hillshire.”
“She was a fucking rat that’s what!” He yelped from under her grip.
Rita pressed harder on him, to make him squeal and regret the words coming out of his mouth. “ You’ve ratted out Pardo too, don’t forget that Bobby, but I’ve kept you out of harms way. Maybe I should let the word out about your side job?” She released her hold.
“ Wait, wait, wait.” He stammered in fear of Rita going through with her threat, one she would gladly do for free, one more drug peddler off the street was a win in her book. “ I keep telling you, I don’t know shit, but I got connections.”
“ You got connections ?” Rita chuckled at him, making Bobby the drug peddler work for her trust.
“ Yeah, I got the whole word on the street, no one can’t keep anything from old Bobby.” He cleaned his nose, as he would do every time he did his drug peddling, his poker face of showing how confident he was. “ Let me pass the word on this.. Bi..” He bit on his tongue, he didn’t want to get on the bad side of Rita. “ Denise, let me see what comes back up. If Pardo had anything to do with this, I’ll tell you right away. You have my word.”
The golden truth from a known rat/drug dealer, you couldn’t go wrong. Especially when you could dangle him over the hungry dogs that would rip him to shreds if they ever found out about his dealings with the cops. “ I’ll trust you, this time.” She pointed her finger at him as a warning. “ If you screw me over. I’ll sell you out, make you regret your decision.”
“ I swear to God, you have my word. I’m on your side.”
Rita gave the old “ We’ll see.” look before leaving the interrogation room. “ Let him go.” She told the officer waiting outside.
Years of working in the field told her that Bobby wouldn’t bring back any useful information. He was telling the truth when he said he knew nothing at all. He was like the rest of the people she had hauled in, they all claimed Hector Pardo’s was innocent. How that word made her laugh. Pardo was far from innocent, the list of people he taken their lives from could fill a city. She knew he was behind Denise's death and she was going to make damn sure he was brought to justice for it.
As she was walking down the hallway, she saw detective Jeremy Harkness with his belongings, heading home no doubt, a tad late for dinner, could be why he had such a frown on his face. “ Heading home? “ Rita asked him.
“ Yup,” He seem eager to leave, wasn’t in the mood for conversation. “ How did the questioning go? “
“ Another damn roadblock,” She snickered. “ we’ve got so many other charges on Pardo, still we can’t get them to stick. It really pisses me off.”
“ Yeah, but this one is different. Child smuggling, the death of an informant, you prove he did it, you’ll see results.” Harkness guaranteed her.
“ Really hope so.” She patted Harkness on the shoulder. “ Get home to that family, Detective.”
“ Will do.” He smiled at her.
As Harkness waited for the elevator to come, Rita decided to share the interesting tib bit she had discovered about his head detective. “ Your boy is really whipped.” She said.
“ Who will that be ?” Harkness raised a curious eyebrow.
“ Klecko,” She laughed. “ His girlfriend has him around her little finger.”
The elevator had made its stop, Harkness stepped in, still confused in what Rita was telling him. “ Klecko, he doesn’t have a girlfriend.” He pushed the button to go down the parking level structure.
“ What ?” It was Rita’s turn to look confuse.
“ That boy hasn’t had a girlfriend since his day in Boston. We all kinda think Klecko’s got a thing for the wam bam thank you ma’am, type of girls.” The elevator doors began to close. “Goodnight, Detective.”
“ No girlfriend.” Rita had never felt more alone at that moment in her life.
Chapter 51
I’m Afraid We’re Out Of Time
“ You sacred of telling me your name, son?” Alan Smith could see those green eyes of Klecko trying to avoid making eye contact with him. “ You’re not even trying to understand me?” Klecko did his best to ignore him. “ You just wanna be the good guy?”
“ You’re sick.” Klecko shouted at the child rapist, shoving him back against the wall, trying to resist the urge to snap his neck.
“ This entire world is sick,” He heckled inches from Klecko’s face, happy to see their eyes meet for once. “ Didn’t you know that already?”
“ You’re a fucked up individual you know that?” Klecko bit down on his anger. “ You think what you’re doing is ok, but you can’t even see how fucked up it really is.”
“ Big words for such a young kid, you never know boy, you might grow up to be like me one day!”
Klecko could see his younger self laugh at the pedophile, rejecting such an idea. “ Never going to happen, I know who I am.” Klecko ended his sentence with much confidence, always believing he would remain the same.
“ You’re a man of morals,” He laughed even as Klecko pressed down onto his wind pipe. “ I feel sorry for people like you, you wanna know why?” Klecko stood silent. “ All it takes is one little push and you come falling down harder than the rest.”
“ And you’re such a good damn fucking expert,” Klecko laughed at him once more. “ You never had morals, you sick fuck.”
“ Boy, everyone is born a monster, it’s human nature.”
“ If that’s so true, then why aren’t we fucked up as you!?”
“ It’s just a matter of time, son, the other shoe will drop, you’ll see.”
Klecko sat parked outside his apartment building, reflecting back to his conversation with Alan Smith, knowing somewhere down in death row he was smiling.
What was the push that sent you over the edge, what turns such a righteous man down the moral path of insanity and death? He could hear his inner voice whisper to him, acting as his own personal therapist, the only person he could confess the truth to, without fearing he would be turned into authorities.
“ Life,” He replied to it. “ the job, it all starts to eat away at you, so much death, how can anyone sleep at night after seeing all that.” A homeless old drunk was in the middle of the road, yelling at his own demon inside his mind as well, throwing phantom punches as best as he could to silent that voice.
Look at him, he never killed, why hasn’t he turned into a monster as you say?
Klecko smirked. “ Is that what I should be, a drunk, just like the rest of the officers who pretend to smile and give a damn, when they know deep inside their minds are rotten to the core from everything they’d seen?” He slammed his fist on the steering wheel. “ No, I rather embrace the sickness than have to end up like one of them.” He observed the old man carefully, watched as he laugh, watched as he broke into tears, talking to his imaginary friend, asking where it went wrong.
“ There has to be more to all this.” His inner voice pressed on, which made him impatient as it probed harder, acting as its own entity. “ If your theory was true, why kill now, why not kill earlier , why not kill when your gray and old, why now.. I think you know why.” Klecko didn’t answer, he just sat quietly in his car, watching the old man fumble with his balance.
Father, I’ve never felt closer to you
It all has to burn, it all has to burn
What does it all mean?
“ Stop it !” Klecko screamed and thrashed around the car, silencing the voices that flooded his mind, his outburst grab the attention of the drunk, one little whisper of his imaginary friend and he took
off running into the alley for safety. “ Good judge of character.” Klecko chuckled as he leaned back in his seat, calming the demon and the need that was looming deep inside his belly, begging for relief.
He would do it in a heart beat if he could, bathe in blood, see the terror in someone’s eyes, feeling alive, free from everything, feeling one with God. The pure adrenaline of it all was better than any drug that anyone could take. But the time was not right, there were bigger things on his plate than petty desires.
He sighed deeply, knowing the sun was around the corner and soon it would be time to head back to work, another day with Harkness and Vazquez with no sleep, it was deja vu all over again. “ I know you’re out there.” Klecko pressed his face to the window, knowing his guardian was hiding in plain sight, keeping a vigilant eye on him, watching the whole process come undone. “ And when it does fall, you’ll know I’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.”
Chapter 52
Do You Remember?
Three Years Ago
“ It's easy for one to justify a death, to get caught up in a lie, anything to forget the real root of what cast this demon inside you.” The Prophet stood over an empty water well, deep inside it's dark pit stood his apostle, hurled into the pit for the past two weeks, hearing day in and day out preachings from his savior. “ Do you remember the truth, son?”
“ I do.” The apostle managed to say with his cracked parched throat. “ I know what sent me down this road, I remember now.” He cried out in pain, as the image struck his mind every second. No matter how hard he tried to close his eyes, he could not run from the truth.
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