Here's to Yesterday

by Teagan Hunter

  “Yo, man. We need to finalize the length of your contract for this next leg of the tour,” James says, taking a seat on the couch opposite of me, his ever-present clipboard in hand. “We’re going international, so we need to make sure your passports are up to date.”

  The expression on my face must be telling him what’s up, because before I can even tell him, he guesses.

  “And you’re not going. You’re done, huh?”

  I nod. “For now. I need to get some shit together at home before committing to anything else.”

  My record label was kind enough—and believed in their ability to make me fall in love with them—to give me a five-song contract with a three-month touring package. After the three months are up, my royalties get cut in half, but I walk free, keeping the rights to my music. It’s an insanely epic deal that’s almost unheard of.

  James clears his throat and says, “I understand. I hope you’re still interested in signing on for more in the near future.”

  “I am,” I tell him honestly. I plan on talking with the CEO back in Boston after I get home, because I’d love to sign on doing a full album with the company. They’ve been more than accommodating, and we seem to work well together as a team.

  “So does this mean next week in Boston will be your last stop? You going to stay there and finally tell that blonde babe of yours that you’re hopelessly in love with her, and make those around you want to vomit with how you go on and on and on about her?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Good. Just make sure you talk to Casey afterwards. If things get figured in a timely manner, I’m sure Drive would be more than happy to have you on for their international dates,” James informs me.

  “Damn, you assholes are fucking good. All understanding and shit,” I grin.

  James gives a hearty laugh and pulls himself off the couch. “We’re just buttering you up is all.” He turns the doorknob and throws a glance over his shoulder at me. “Get some rest, dude. We’ve got eight gigs in the next seven days with those radio shows and interviews. There’s not much to help in the way of beauty, but at least rest that voice of yours.”

  I flip him the bird and throw my empty water bottle at him as he ducks out of the room.

  Home. I’m going home next week.

  As thrilled as I am, I also have to admit that I’m a little anxious. The thought of seeing Maura is met with both a boner and churning stomach. I wish nothing more than for our reunion to be filled with hugs and kisses and hot sex, but I know it won’t be.

  I’ll take it any way I can though.

  I just don’t want it to not happen.

  I must admit, I have no idea what’s happening in her life. We’ve taken this time apart rather seriously and haven’t spoken other than two texts in those three months.

  Both texts were drunken ramblings on my part where I apologized for my “ginfers” typing the words they did. I didn’t even send her another text to correct “ginfers” to “fingers,” because I was embarrassed by it all. It took her a day to respond with “God I miss you,” and I have to say, it was well worth the wait.

  I know that my homecoming will probably be a surprise for her, but we promised that when we were ready, we would just show up and see how it went, and that’s what I’ll do.

  Although I’m not telling Maura about my homecoming, I should probably tell someone. I pull my phone out and text my two best friends.

  Me: Dickbrains! Me + Boston = Next week

  My phone buzzes immediately.

  Hudson: FUCK YES!

  Gaige: Really? A fucking group text? I can see you’re still an asshole.

  Me: I miss you too, Roomie.

  Gaige: No Roomie here. I rented your room out to Garrison.

  Me: The crackhead from Donnie’s Supermarket?

  Gaige: Free drugs, man. Free drugs.

  Me: You’re so fucking weird.

  Gaige: You’re my friend, so what does that mean for you.

  Hudson: Goddamn. Shut up, assholes. Some of us have to work.

  Gaige: LOVE YOU, HUDSON!

  Me: LOVE YOU, HUDSON!

  I laugh because, despite the fact that I’ve been gone for three months with sporadic texts and phone calls home, these two are still the same guys they were before, and it feels like no time has passed.

  I just hope the same can be said for Maura and me.

  Maura

  The death of someone you care about can suck the life out of you.

  It did me.

  At least for a while.

  In the two weeks following Tanner’s death, I moped. Other than working my shifts at Clyde’s, I stayed in my pajamas and sulked around my aunt Kassi’s. The worst part is that all my brooding wasn’t even for Tanner. Most of it was over losing Tucker. I’m aware how shitty that makes me seem, but in my heart, Tanner was gone long before he was gone.

  It wasn’t until I got the call from Darcy that my application for the apartment was approved that I officially started to move on with life and began fulfilling the promise I made Tucker: be happy. I moved out of Kassi’s the next week, put in my notice at Clyde’s, and demanded Gary hire me because his son broke my heart.

  I did all this because I finally realized the path I wanted to take in life. Pretending to be Tucker’s manager for those few appointments and helping him achieve his dreams of getting signed made me discover that I loved the business side of the music industry.

  I’ve been talking with Rae, Perry, and even Gary over the last several weeks about some sort of collaboration. I think that with Rae’s marketing experience, Perry’s graphic work, and Gary’s history in the industry, we can get an amazing thing going.

  Finding my love for the music industry wasn’t the only thing Tucker helped with. I guess whatever Tucker said to my father was what he needed to hear, because about a week after Tucker left, he contacted me. We’ve met for lunch once a week since. He’s been surprisingly supportive of me attempting to start my own business, but according to him, my mother hasn’t been too fond of it. But I’m not talking to her, so I don’t care much about what she has to say on the matter.

  Since the business isn’t one hundred percent ready, I’m working at Mic’s, scouting the talent while all the final details get ironed out. I’ve officially become a part-time suit. Only I’m more of skirt. Or apron. But still, I’m working it while I’m working.

  I’m doing it all on my own, and I’m happy.

  For the most part.

  I want Tucker here. Badly.

  And in a few hours, he’ll be here. Like here here. He’s playing Mic’s tonight while the band he’s touring with does a local acoustic set.

  “You freaking out yet?” Rae asks from the other side of the bar.

  I set her drink down in front of her and shrug. “Not yet.”

  “But don’t you want him to come back?”

  “Trick question, Rae.” She crinkles her nose at me, so I explain. “There’s a huge part of me that hopes he’s back for me. But there is an equally big part that wants him to have all the success in the world. He can’t do that while he’s here.”

  Rae lets out a low whistle. “Damn, girl. You’ve got it baaaaad.”

  Pinning her with a serious stare, I say, “I do.” Grabbing a bottle of rum, I start making the drink requested by Gaige, who is lounging in the group’s usual spot. “But I don’t think he has any idea I’m working here, so I’m sure he’s not planning on seeing me. This means I have nothing to freak out over.”

  “We just gonna play it cool?”

  “We are.”

  “Done. Playin’ it cool. Just gonna play it cool.”

  I set down Gaige’s drink a little too hard and give her a sharp stare. “Spit out whatever it is you want to say.”

  “Fine, but only because you asked so nicely.” She smirks over the rim of her glass and takes a sip of her drink. “You two made that promise, right? That one day when you knew you’d let each other know and find a way t
o make it work. Well, you know. And you need to tell Tucker that. If you’re ready, you need to tell him.”

  I don’t say anything and instead take a drink order from the customer that just walked up to the bar.

  We did make that promise, and I am ready. I miss Tucker way more than I’m willing to admit out loud half the time.

  I meant what I said to Rae. I want him to have this adventure. I want him to make his music. But I also want him here.

  I guess I just need to give him a chance to make that decision himself.

  Handing the customer his drink, I turn to Rae. “Fine. I do need to tell him. If I see him tonight, I promise I’ll talk to him.”

  “Fine. I’ll take it. It’s better than nothing.”

  “Good. Now go take Gaige his drink, please. I’ll be over during my break.”

  Gary appears out of nowhere.

  “Do you really think I’d make you work tonight? Get your skinny ass out from behind my bar,” he says in that gruff voice of his.

  I put my hands on my hips and brace myself for an argument. “Come on, Gary. That’s not fair to everyone else.”

  “Would it make you feel any better if I said I wasn’t working tonight either?”

  “I’m not going to win, am I?”

  Gary gives a short laugh. “You mean I’m not going to let you hide behind the bar all night? No.”

  I relax my stance and drop my shoulders in defeat because he called that. I did want to hide tonight. I’ll keep my promise to Rae regarding Tucker, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to go out of my way to find him and talk to him.

  “You suck, Gary,” I tell him half-jokingly.

  “I’ve been told that time or two. Now go. Don’t make me fire you.”

  “I knew I liked you, Gary,” Rae beams.

  Pulling off my apron, I shoot her a dirty look. After refilling my soda, I walk with Rae over to our group table.

  “Here, lazy ass,” she says, handing Gaige his drink and taking a seat next to Hudson.

  “Can’t believe we scored VIP seats for the show. I fucking love Drive. And Tucker is okay too.”

  “Of course we did,” Gaige says. “Ever since Rae and Maura left Clyde’s, all we’ve done is hang out here. I think we keep Gary afloat most days. We deserve this spot.”

  “Truth,” Perry agrees.

  “Tucker hooked us up with these seats, not Gary, you nuts,” Hudson tells them. “My boy does me good.” We all immediately start laughing, minds going directly to the gutter. Hudson blushes when it catches up to him what he just said. “Fuckers.”

  Rae shakes her head at her boyfriend. “I can’t believe Joey has you as a father. Poor kid.”

  Hudson mumbles about “just saying yes,” and Rae swats at his arm. I mentally make a note to corner her about that later, because it seems like she’s holding back vital info about her life.

  “Have you guys heard him on the radio yet?” Rae asks. “He sounds awesome.”

  Gaige leans back in his chair and scoffs. “I had to hear that bastard for months in our apartment. I’m all Tuckered out.” He laughs loudly and slaps the table. “Get it? Tuckered?”

  Hudson looks over at Rae and asks, “Who invited him?”

  “Whatever. Tucker always appreciated my shitty jokes. You guys just need to be more like him.”

  “Off driving all across the country, singing sad poetic songs to throngs of beautiful women who probably throw themselves at him at every show? Sign me up!” Perry spouts off, not thinking of what he just said.

  “Perry!” Rae hisses. “Sorry, Maura. I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that.”

  I wave her off. “It’s fine, Rae. Promise. I’m going to go check and make sure Gary doesn’t need any help before I officially clock out.”

  Not waiting for a response, I rush off toward the back room, a little upset by what Perry just said. I don’t actually need to check with Gary about anything. Instead, I stand in the back hallway to collect myself because suddenly there are tears stinging my eyes.

  What if Perry is right? I’ve spent this entire time Tucker was gone thinking of him as mine. What I never considered was all the women on the road or who was warming his bed at night. What if he doesn’t even want me anymore? What if I’m suddenly not enough? What if he’s realized he’s better off without me on the road?

  “I swear I can hear you thinking in here,” Gary says, making me jump slightly. I walk the short distance to his office, hovering in his doorway. “You that worried about seeing him again?”

  I nod. “I’m worried everything is going to be different.”

  “Well, I sure as hell hope it is,” he says honestly. “Things were shit before and you know it. You two did nothing but tiptoe around Tanner or the idea of him. I’d hope that in your time apart you’ve both found who you are outside of all that bullshit. Hell, I know that just in the last two months you’ve been working here I’ve seen one hell of a difference in you. You’ve grown, kid. And I know my son is still going to love the person you grew into.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief. “You know, for someone who hasn’t been a father that long, you’re awesome at it.”

  Gary gives me a crooked smile that reminds me so much of Tucker’s and leans back in his chair, folding his hands across his stomach. “Honey, I basically raised musicians on the road for twenty-something years. I’ve got this shit in the bag.”

  Just then, the back door opens and my eyes go wide because I know it’s the band coming in.

  “Go on,” Gary says, jerking his head toward the main building. “Go lean on your friends. But remember what I said.”

  Thank you, I mouth and dart down the hall back to the safety of my friends. I’m staring at the ground and not paying attention to where I’m going, and, of course, run into a rock-hard body. Big hands reach out to grab me before I start falling backwards. I immediately recognize the scent belonging to whomever I collided with.

  I look up at the man who has coffee-brown eyes, lazily styled dark chocolate hair, and two sweet dimples tucked into the huge grin he’s sporting.

  “There’s my girl,” my new roommate Dallas says.

  Dallas, or Dall as I sometimes call him, came into my life about a week after I moved into my new apartment. I was working one night at Clyde’s and talking with another waitress about possibly wanting a roommate while Dallas was sitting at the bar. He overheard us and approached me before he left. After he reassured me that he wasn’t a total creeper or a crazy stalker and wouldn’t try to feel me up in my sleep since I didn’t have a penis, we set up a date for him to come check the place out. It didn’t take us long to discover that we had a very easy chemistry. He moved in that very same day.

  Over the past few months, Dall has been there for me. He’s held me when I’ve cried at night and threatened to kick my ass when I was acting like a total bitch for no reason. The friendship we’ve formed has been fast and easy and real. We work well together, and I’m so glad he decided to listen in on my conversation.

  “He’s here,” I whisper.

  Dall’s eyes immediately dart behind me, and his eyes fall into slits as Gary walks out of his office toward the now open door. Saying that Dallas doesn’t like Tucker would be an understatement. I’ve told him several times that our split was mutual, but he doesn’t seem to want to believe that. He blames Tucker for all my tears, and he’d be mostly right. No matter how Dallas feels about Tucker, I know once he and Tucker meet, they’ll be fast friends.

  He tucks me into his large frame and protectively ushers me to our table. “Come on, baby girl. We’ll let him come to us.”

  Tucker

  Maura is sitting with a guy.

  Maura is laughing with a guy.

  Maura is touching a guy.

  This guy isn’t me.

  I never once considered the fact that Maura may find someone else while we were apart. It’s not that I was cocky; it’s that I was that sure of my feelings for her. I always assumed it was the
same for her.

  But with the way she’s acting with the dark-haired bastard sitting with her and my group of friends, I see that I may have been wrong.

  I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder.

  “Almost show time, Tuck. You ready?” James says gloomily. He knows how much this trip home means to me and knows how crushed I’ll be if it doesn’t go well.

  The scene in front of me? So not right.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be,” I tell him quietly.

  “Maybe it’s innocent?”

  I glance over at him. “That’s what we told everyone too.”

  James winces. “You never know, man. You never know.” He places his hands on his hips, getting back into his manager mode. “Anyway, you’ve got a visitor out back. I’d send her in, but I don’t really think this is the place.”

  What?

  I eye him suspiciously. “All right. I’ll head out there. Thanks.”

  “You’ve got five minutes!” he calls to my retreating back.

  Pushing open the back door, I’m met with a sight I wasn’t expecting.

  “Uncle Tuck!” Joey squeals, latching her tiny frame around my legs.

  I scoop her up into a giant hug. “Oh, bug. I missed you, kiddo.”

  My eyes land on Hudson standing behind her. Thank you, I mouth to him.

  “You’re gonna squeeze me to death!”

  Laughing, I set her down and squat to her level. “So what’s up, dude? You’ve grown like ten feet since I saw you last.”

  She giggles and shakes her head. “I have not. But I did grow two inches! Dad says I’m gonna be taller than Rae one day, and that’s just crazy because Rae is a giant!”

  Maybe to Joey’s four-foot-something frame she is, but Rae is far from being a giant.

  Before I can say anything, Joey starts talking again. “Did you bring me anything?”

  “Joey!” Hudson scolds.

  My little buddy drops her head and kicks at the rocks. “Sorry. That was rude.” She peeks up at me through her bangs and whispers, “But did you?”