Today was a particularly important Friday morning shift for us, we needed to get our animals too tired to disturb us tonight. Tooth and Claw had been booked to cater Deputy Lark’s wedding, at the insistence of his father, Louie. As soon as we finished our shift, he’d need to get cooking. I’d need to pack the liquor up into the truck and set up the bar in the reception area.
We got back to the Tooth and Claw and Evan ran upstairs beating me back to the apartment and the shower.
“Good run?” Earl asked making breakfast. He dished me a plate of breakfast meats and set it in front of me. I devoured it.
“He’s pissy, as usual,” I told Earl, “But I’m pretty excited for the Lark wedding. Are you sure you trust us to do all of it without you?”
Earl nodded, “It’s a small wedding, open bar, you can handle it. Take it easy on Evan, it’s his first wedding.”
I felt my eyes fly open, “Ever?”
Earl nodded again, “Bears aren’t monogamous. You’re his only friend, where would he have gotten an invite to a wedding?”
I shrugged, “We had a lot of mating ceremonies at the pack. I usually worked those; I wasn’t allowed to attend.”
“Because of the-” I nodded cutting Earl off. Because of being a dud. Earl had slowly gotten me to open up about life in the pack. I didn’t talk about it when Evan was around. I still hadn’t recovered from our first shift together. I didn’t want to be vulnerable that way again.
“What’s a wolf wedding like?” Earl asked giving me seconds on my sausage.
I shrugged, “The ceremonies are short. There’s a big party the whole pack’s there, even kids and duds, dancing a lot of food. It’s the one time the Alpha doesn’t eat first, so it’s a different feel from a usual pack event-” I’d always loved mating parties. The newly mated couples got to eat first. They had the whole spread of food laid out for them. They got to sit in the place of honor usually reserved for the alpha couple. It was exciting.
As a kid I’d dreamt of my own mating. To have the whole pack honor me. To eat first, sit in the best seat, to dance wrapped in the arms of the wolf who’d love me no matter what. The thought of it staled the bacon in my mouth. I wasn’t hungry anymore. I’d never get that. My mate had left me to die.
49
Present day
I spent years dreaming of this moment. I dreamed of looking into the eyes of my moon blessed mate saying the sacred words that would bind him to me and me to him. It would be the legal ceremony marrying us in the eyes of the human government, it was the religious ceremony binding us in the eyes of the Elders. It would be a declaration of love. It would be beautiful. It would be the best day of my life.
Standing at the front of the pack hall where two nights before I’d been put on trial and sentenced to die, it was nothing like my childhood dream. It was not a ceremony full of love. I said the words because I had no choice. I signed the license because I’d already said the words. I was not in love. I didn’t feel loved. I was trapped.
I looked out over the pack after the ceremony was over. They were standing and applauding us. Kendrick held my hand and brought it to his lips. He was making an announcement to the pack. Their applause abruptly stopped.
“My mate and I invite the unshifted, the widows, and their families to eat first,” he repeated, I felt a genuine smile bloom on my face. He was really doing it. I squeezed Kendrick’s hand and he explained to the remaining pack members, “We have unseen members of our pack. We have hungry children, we have suffering. If we are to be a pack, we can only be judged by our weakest members. My mate and I want to strengthen the pack from the bottom up.”
The pack was confused but nodded along. From the back of the hall I saw Kyla and Marcus whispering low to each other and the other wolves in the row before standing up and heading to the large dining hall where the food would be served. Slowly the pack filtered into the hall weaker members going first. Beta Lorde and his wife were among the last to leave. He shook Kendrick’s hand.
“I look forward to serving under you, Kendrick,” he told him and nodded to me, “She’s a worthy alpha female, don’t piss her off.”
Mrs. Lorde didn’t say anything and wouldn’t meet my eyes. She’d been my third-grade teacher and hated me she never really got over it. After the Lordes left it was just Mama Biel, Alpha Biel, Kendrick, and I in the massive hall.
“Congrats you two,” Mama Biel said. Her jaw was tight as she said the words. She moved to hug me, but I stepped away. I didn’t trust that woman. Alpha Biel was now openly wearing his oxygen. He couldn’t sit or stand for long periods of time, the long mating ceremony drained him, “I hope you don’t mind; we’re going to go straight home it’s been a tiring day.”
“I understand,” Kendrick said hugging his mother and nodding to his father, “Sleep well.”
Then we were alone.
“Shall we eat?” he asked me to retake my hand in his own and bringing it to his lips, “You look incredible tonight, Aster.”
I was wearing a borrowed gown. I didn’t even know whose it was. Faceless shewolves did my hair and makeup cooing over how lucky I was the alpha would choose me to be his mate. I sat on the steps, and he let my hand go. The last thing I wanted was to face the pack. I was legally married now. I was mated. I’d had no choice.
“Aster?” he crouched down to be eye level, “I know this probably isn't how you pictured your mating, but we can fix things. Real change. Tomorrow after the pack meeting before the punishment we can talk to the pack about-”
“Oh yea, I get whipped tomorrow, don’t I? I can’t believe I forgot,” I had forgotten. Three times a week for a year, “Yea, I’m sure that’s going to do wonders for my eternal desire to be anywhere but here.”
Kendrick sagged, “I don’t want you to go.”
“You’ve made it perfectly clear I can’t leave,” I reminded him unable to keep the venom from my voice.
“Let’s get dinner, I’m sure you’ll feel better with some food in your stomach,” he held out a hand for me and I accepted it. There was no point fighting anymore. My wolf had started to forgive his wolf. She accepted this was home. The police weren’t coming for me. Evan wasn’t coming for me. I was trapped.
“Where’s all the food?” Kendrick whispered to me when we got to the tables and tables of what had once been a bountiful spread. I started laughing when I saw the tray full of radishes.
I grabbed a plate and loaded up, “There’s more than I ever saw as a kid,” I told him. The pack had left us some salad, some casserole, “Oh look, they left us dessert!” my voice was actually giddy. There was a single snickerdoodle cookie on the dessert table. I held it up triumphantly and held it out to him, “I’ll go splitsies with you.”
His eyebrows were furrowed, “How are you ok with this?” he was starting to get angry, “This is our mating meal and there’s nothing left.”
“Nothing left?” I scoffed, “Look, my plate is full!” I smiled at him wider than I think I’d ever smiled at him.
“There’s no protein,” he informed me waving his hand over the picked over table that had once held shrimp cocktails, burgers, meat loaf, and more roasts than I could dream of.
“I lived off of radishes and gristle for ten years after my father died,” I told him, “You can survive one night without a steak.”
“I guess I never really noticed,” he murmured as he filled his plate with scraps. We reached the head table where Beta Lorde was talking to Jackson.
“It’s a humbling experience,” Beta Lorde noted, “Jackson was remarking how little food was left when it was his turn to eat.”
Jackson turned to Kendrick, “It’s bullshit.”
Kendrick nodded, “I agree. No pack member should be left picking at scraps. Humbling is one word to describe it.”
I giggled twirling the snickerdoodle, around in my hand, admiring the way the sugar sparkled in the light, “I got dessert at a pack meal,” the musing was for myself but as I gazed out over the pa
ck, I wasn’t the only person sharing that sentiment. I nudged Kendrick, “Look at the back tables.”
The table where Kyla and Marcus sat was all smiles. My mother’s usual table was equally excited. They were chattering amongst themselves and the children were animated and had fingers covered in frosting. I smiled at a little girl whose gaze traveled to me and she beamed back, she was missing her two front teeth.
Kendrick and I finished our meal quickly, it’s easy to eat fast when you’re hungry and there isn’t much left to eat. He made an announcement asking for each pack member to assist cleaning. What usually took the widows hours was accomplished in twenty minutes.
“Now we run!” Kendrick called out and the adults cheered.
We watched the pack rush out of the building and shift to their wolves and dart into the forest.
“Ready to run with our pack?” he asked with a tender hand on the small of my back.
“I’ll need help getting out of this dress, unless I'm allowed to shift and destroy it,” I told him not opposed to the idea of the dress being ruined. Kendrick growled low and came up behind me. His warmth pressed to my neck.
“I’ve wanted to take you out of this dress since I first saw you in it,” he said seductively, “my mate, my wife, my Aster. Alpha female to my pack and future mother of my pups,” he was kissing my neck I could hear his throat rumble with excitement, “We could go back inside and get a jump start on the pups.”
“I’m not having sex with you,” my voice was firm. It was the last thing I had left of myself. I refused to give it easily.
“But we’re mates,” he said again.
I willed my wolf out of my body, dress be damned. As soon as I was on three legs I bolted into the woods.
I expected Kendrick's wolf to come after me. He didn’t.
My wolf sought out the pack, but the wolves darted away from her. She didn’t understand. This was her night. The run was celebrating her. She followed the trail of a small group of wolves. They were in a clearing and she bounced excited to play. She wanted to play.
The wolves turned around. There were three of them, enforcers if she had to guess based on their size. They all had muddy brown fur and brown eyes. My wolf yipped at them, tempting them to join her in a hunt for a deer or rabbit. They followed.
My wolf was pleased. She was leading a hunt. It was all she’d ever dreamed of. Until she was knocked from her feet by a blow on her right side. She rolled and quickly righted herself on her feet. She was in a small copse of trees and was surrounded by the three wolves. They weren’t hunting deer with her; they were hunting her.
The first one lunged for the throat. The second tried to knock out her left leg. She’d lost track of the third wolf. My wolf ducked and squirmed and did her best to thwart all the lethal attacks. They were going to kill her. And again, her mate was nowhere to be seen.
As my wolf fought for her life, a chilling realization struck me. Kendrick set this up. He’d gotten what he needed from me. He had a legal mate. He got me to say the words and sign the paperwork. He didn’t need me at all. The whole thing had been to lull me into a false sense of security so he could have me killed.
My wolf wasn’t going down without a fight. She knew the three wolves on her were too much for her to fight alone. She needed to get away. She needed to flee. She timed it when the wolves were readjusting and rather than counterattacking, she bolted.
She ran as fast as her three legs would carry her. If it was a death Kendrick wanted, death he would get. She darted through the trees until she found the town. From there the destination was clear, once I found my way back to the alpha house I shifted. I dressed in clothes from the closet and went to the kitchen. Marcus was running the industrial dishwasher talking to Kendrick when I walked in.
“Fuck this pack, alright,” I said not caring who heard me, “Three males attacked me on my run. Fuck this pack and fuck you Kendrick for forcing me here.”
Marcus looked over at me with wide eyes, “Who attacked you? Are you alright? When Kyla gets back, she’ll look-”
Kendrick cut him off by holding his hand up, “Aster, are you alright?”
“Yea, I fought them off,” I said, “That’s not the point.”
“Let me get you something to eat,” he said walking to the fridge and pulling out another container of leftover chili, “I’ve been talking to Marcus. I thought I’d give you space to run with the pack and you’d-”
“Die leaving you to run the pack the way you wanted it. Your mother couldn’t finish the job better send three trained enforcers after the three-legged bitch,” my voice was as bitter as my words.
“No,” he sounded offended, “I wanted you to love it so much you’d....” his voice trailed off.
“Love you too?” I snorted. He couldn’t actually believe I’d buy that load of crap. His face was deathly serious.
His silence told me I was right, “Let’s go to bed. You can fight with me in the morning-” he said touching my arm and trying to lead me toward the stairs.
“No, I’m not going anywhere with you,” I snarled wrenching my arm from his grasp, “Three of your wolves tried to kill me tonight, and you are going to do nothing.”
“You’re right,” Kendrick finally said, “I’m not. This pack has been poisoned. You could be our antidote. Look at what you’ve managed to do in just one day. They sense change on the horizon and want to scare you off. Are you going to let them? Run away scared back to your little human town?”
“Yes,” I answered quickly. I didn’t care what they thought. Running scared? Sure, I’ll be a free coward over a brave prisoner any day.
Kendrick closed his eyes and turned to Marcus, “When Kyla gets back, please take Aster to Easterville.”
My eyes widened, “You’re letting me go?”
He touched my face, “You’re my mate, my wife, and my alpha female. Whether you’re in Easterville or here, it doesn’t matter. Though, I’d rather you be here with me.”
“You’re letting me go?” tears touched my eyes, “I’ll be free?”
He wrapped his arms around me, “You better go with Marcus before I change my mind. Come back when you love me, Aster. I’ll be waiting for you.”
I cautiously reached up and touched his face. He was serious. He was letting me go. I brushed my thumb along his jaw and went up on my toes and pressed my lips to his cheek for just a second. It was the only way I could think of to say thank you, without thanking him. He didn’t deserve thanks for doing the right thing for once in his life.
I dropped my hand and turned to Marcus who was standing at the ready, “Car’s out back,” he pointed to the back door out of the kitchen, “Kyla usually runs right home after doing a lap. She should be there soon.”
I nodded and started to follow him. Kendrick grasped my wrist and pulled me into his arms again, pressing his face to mine. His lips moved against mine tasting me, breathing me in like it was his last breath. I was frozen. I couldn’t kiss him back. My wolf was revolted by his taste. She wanted him but wouldn’t let herself. She didn’t trust him.
“I don’t want you to go,” he whispered between more feverish kisses around my face.
“I won’t stay,” I reminded him. He pressed his forehead to mine and sighed but he ultimately let me go. I ran out of the kitchen and wouldn’t let myself look back.
50
7 years earlier
I was as chipper as I could be making vodka cranberries and pulling drafts of the cheapest beer we carried on tap. The wedding went off without a hitch and the reception was in full swing. Evan was busy dishing up sliders at the station across the church basement. Country music thumped and it seemed like all of Easterville was on the dance floor.
Deputy Lark was wearing a slightly ill-fitting suit and his bride looked amazing in her poofy white gown. She’d long since ditched her veil and heels and now had Lark’s suit coat draped over her shoulders as the pair sat cuddled in each other’s arms looking at the dance floor.
<
br /> Jealousy like I’d never known rose up inside of me. I needed to refocus. I turned back to the Shirley Temple I was making for little Suzie Carlson who was dressed in a poofy white dress like the bride. She’d been the flower girl and despite the late hour was still tearing up the dance floor.
“Thank you, Wee” she still had trouble with her L’s despite being almost eight and it was adorable. I tossed in a couple extra cherries for her and turned to the next reveler.
Evan had cleaned up his station before last call and helped me with the final drinks. The line for one final free beer snaked around the reception area and I was grateful for the help. Not that I’d tell him that.
The final people through the line were the newlyweds. Deputy Lark gave Evan and I each an envelope with a nod of gratitude before wrapping his arm around his sleepy bride.
“Gotta get Mrs. Lark home,” he told Evan. His bride giggled and wrapped her arms around him. The jealousy flared again. But I stomped it down.
“Safe travels,” I told them. Louie had told me they were honeymooning in Mexico and would leave Monday morning, “You’ll have to come to the Tooth and Claw and tell us all about it.”
The Larks were so focused on each other they barely managed to wave goodbye to the remaining partiers when they left the reception. I started wiping down the bar desperate to focus on anything besides the one thing I’d never get.
“Here,” Evan handed me a shot glass filled with a brown liquid. I sniffed it. Jack Daniel’s whiskey, Evan’s favorite.
“What’s this for?” I asked. Evan knew I hardly drank. Since turning twenty-one a few months back, I’d managed a few fruity drinks but never really bothered with it, it didn’t taste good and took too much to get a shifter buzzed to be economical on a student budget.
Tooth and Claw (Kootenai Pack Book 1) Page 14