The Milestone Tapes

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The Milestone Tapes Page 9

by Ashley Mackler-Paternostro


  “We’re going out. Bella Italia, if that’s okay? I am craving some of their bruschetta. Soph offered to watch Mia, and I figured we’d take full advantage.” She looked over to the bed. She had laid out an overnight bag, clothing draped across, ready for packing.

  “Tonight?” Gabe raised his brows subtly, gesturing to the luggage.

  “Okay, this weekend. So, please, go, get cleaned up. We have reservations in, oh, about an hour.” She glanced at the bedside clock, pulling away so she could finish setting her things in his suitcase, neatly folding and arranging.

  Jenna listened as the shower turned on, followed by the rush of water splashing against the marble basin of the shower, the sound of his clothes hitting the floor, and his soft off key humming. She was thrilled to be escaping for the weekend. She arranged for Sophia to watch over Mia while she kidnapped Gabe for a weekend of rest and relaxation in Port Townsend. She hadn’t visited the quant harbor town with its bed and breakfasts in a number of years, but remember loving the tiny main street and all of the beautiful antique stores, locally owned specialties stores and trend setting boutiques.

  Summer in the Olympic Peninsula was designed for weekend excursions. Not stiflingly warm but comfortable, the inhabitants of the small towns converging, soaking up the congested tourist season with markets and festivals. The summer had raced by; August was beginning its steady decline into the cooler fall months. Sophia would be leaving at the close of next week, and this was the first opportunity to take Gabe away, something Jenna had been meaning to do.

  Sophia had been all too eager to send Jenna off when she mildly broached the subject. Clapping her hands and handing her a stack of business cards as thick as a deck of cards, asking her to please keep an eye out for anything fitting Bella Casa.

  “Momma, you look so pretty!” Mia gushed from the living room floor where she was sprawled beside her cousins watching one of the dozen or so movies Sophia had picked up.

  “Thank you, baby,” Jenna cooed, sinking to the floor beside her, kissing her head and rubbing small circles on her back. “You’re going to have so much fun with Aunt Sophia, and we’ll be home Sunday night, okay?”

  “Okay,” Mia agreed easily, turning back towards the vivid colors on the screen.

  Climbing to her feet, Jenna joined Sophia in the kitchen, watching her sister whisk a spoon around the boiling pot as steam seeped upwards.

  “Thank you for this, Soph.” Jenna settled on a stool to wait for Gabe, drumming her fingers on the scarred butcher block counter.

  “Not a problem. It’ll be nice, the kids are going to have a blast.” Sophia smiled, tapping the spoon once before returning it to the rest.

  “We’ll be back Sunday, probably late. But, I’ve left all the important numbers on the fridge, and money for whatever is in the top drawer of my office. Ginny will come by, probably tomorrow, to help, so feel free to run errands or nap.” Despite wanting to get away with her husband, she felt uncertainty bubbling in her chest.

  Most parents could leave without a backwards glance, grateful for the time away. But looking at Mia, Jenna couldn’t seem to bring herself to feel that sort of relief. She loved her home, more so now that it was overflowing with family and she was able to enjoy it. But, still, she knew this trip was of great importance; she needed to speak with Gabe alone, and she wanted the time away in equal measure with her longing to stay.

  “We’re going to be fine. Seriously, I’m kind of insulted. Do you think this is my first rodeo or something? Total cake walk, so stop freaking out and being such a hovercraft.” Sophia rolled her eyes as she opened the fridge to pull out a fruit salad and jug of punch.

  “Hey girls.” Gabe emerged from the bedroom, lugging the suitcase behind him. “Ready to go, J?”

  “Sure. Bye guys, bye Mia. Love you, be good!” Jenna called from the kitchen.

  “Thanks Soph, I appreciate it. Bye Mia, love you. See ya later guys, have fun!” Gabe thanked Sophia with a hasty kiss on the cheek and a one- armed hug, hollering into the family room over the din of the television set and the rambunctious laughter of the children.

  “Have fun. See you Sunday!” Sophia walked towards the door with them and waved them off, smiling brightly the whole while.

  ~ * * * ~

  The restaurant was small, a series of vinyl wrapped booths and small gatherings of tables and chairs. The hostess smiled sweetly, skillfully weaving through the clusters of diners, guiding Gabe and Jenna to a secluded back booth.

  “Wine?” She flashed a pretty smile, offering the drink menu to Gabe.

  “We’ll take the house wine.” Gabe smiled, handing the list back.

  “Good choice, the server will be with you in a few.” She pivoted on her high stilettos and disappeared.

  “So, this is a surprise.” Gabe looked around the cozy dining area. Low lit candles twinkled on the tables.

  “I thought it would be nice. Fun to get away, just the two of us.” Jenna smiled and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

  “And where are we going?” Gabe asked, flipping open the heavy leather bound menu.

  “It’s a surprise.” Jenna smirked.

  “A surprise ... ” Gabe concentrated on reading.

  “I promise you’ll like it.” Jenna smiled again.

  The waiter arrived with a bottle of wine he skillfully uncorked and poured into two large goblets. Taking their appetizer order, he hurried away.

  “Actually, I did want to talk to you,” Jenna began quietly.

  “About?” Gabe asked, setting his menu aside and folding his hands together on the table.

  “I’ve made arrangements.”

  “For?”

  Jenna sighed deeply. “For me.”

  “What do you mean?” Gabe lowered her brow, scrunching his eyes together.

  “When I’m ... gone ... there are things that will need … attention ... stuff that’s important, the details,” Jenna began. “I know this sounds morbid and disgusting, but, Gabe, I really don’t want you to worry about anything at all—just Mia—when the time comes.”

  “Jenna,” Gabe eyes opened in shock, something that resembled horror crossed his face quickly.

  “Gabe, please, just listen, okay? And be open minded. I remember, when my Mom died, all the running around afterwards. No one had thought to order a casket, or select flowers, or buy a burial plot, forget about getting her only good dress cleaned and pressed. No one. And while we were all in the middle of this terrible grief, we couldn’t even have that time because someone on the outskirts needed us to be organized and prepared and present.”

  Gabe nodded once, curt and formal, but offered nothing.

  “We had so much to do, and it was just Soph and me. Dad was long gone, and it was overwhelming and exhausting and everything was so much worse because of it. I don’t want that for you; I want you to be able to be there for Mia and just be present.”

  “I could have done it Jen. I’m your husband, it’s not ... ”

  “Oh, honey, I know that. I really do, and thank you for that.” She took his hand from across the table. “But that wasn’t the point, it’s not that you couldn’t or wouldn’t, it’s that now, you don’t have to. Mia is going to need you, probably more in the first few months than ever before or ever again; that is the main thing I want you to focus on, not the other stuff. Can you understand that?”

  “You’re not a burden, Jen.”

  “And I don’t feel like I am, that’s really not what this was about. But, if there is any blessing in knowing, and maybe this is my way of accepting things, it’s that I can help.”

  “Okay.” Gabe nodded, listening.

  “And I’ve made arrangements with my money, the book money we never used and set aside for a rainy day. I set a trust up for Mia, and the remaining parts of my royalties will be directly deposited into it—it probably won’t be much, but it will be something. The rest, of course, is yours, so I don’t think I need a will, and you have power of attorney and he
alth ... but I want Mia to go to college and to have a nest egg, something she can pull from to help start her life.”

  “Jenna ... ”

  “It will be easier. You’ll see. Having it all taken care of, arranged for, it’s going to be … uncomplicated. Mia is going to need you and you’re not going to want to be anywhere but with her.”

  “I don’t really know what to say ... ”

  “You don’t have to say anything. This was my wish, something I wanted to do—for all of us.”

  The waiter returned with their appetizer, placing it in the center of the table and the conversation slipped into happier, lighter things.

  “That was so good.” Gabe rubbed his distended stomach as they strolled out of the restaurant onto the quiet rain splattered streets of downtown, darkened and desolate in the late evening hush.

  “God, I love their bruschetta,” Jenna agreed, pulling her thin cashmere wrap tighter around her shoulders, blocking the misty, rain- whipped wind from touching her skin.

  “You don’t think it’s the slightest bit ridiculous to spend the night in the town where we live, down the street from our house?” Gabe asked, opening the door of the black Range Rover for Jenna as she crawled inside.

  “All part of my plan! And besides, it’s just for tonight. Tomorrow we’re escaping this place,” she laughed cryptically.

  As the evening passed, Gabe had drilled her for information, but she was firm, not budging an inch.

  “And you won’t tell me where we’re going, correct?” Gabe pressed, turning the engine over and pulling smoothly from the parking spot.

  “Not a chance, Mr. Chamberland. What happened to your adventurous spirit?” she teased easily, as they made the short drive to the only nice hotel in town.

  “I’m just curious, that’s all,” Gabe added quietly between the swishing of the wiper blades.

  “We’re only staying here one night, that’s it. Tomorrow we’re gone. So, please, try to enjoy this.” Jenna pivoted in her seat, looking at him.

  “Okay, okay. You win, I’ll just shut up now,” Gabe relented with a heavy sigh, pulling into The Red Lion parking lot.

  The hotel was lit up, bouncing points of light off the calm water, shimmying with the lapping waves. The lobby was quiet; Jenna had dropped in earlier to collect the room key, and the girl behind the desk smiled, friendly, at them as they passed through on the way upstairs. The room was well appointed for a hotel in a small town, comfortably fashioned with a soft bed and stunning views of Victoria, Canada from the panoramic window.

  No place was as perfect as home. But away from the ever present company and tiny ears, Gabe and Jenna enjoyed each other slowly, falling into a heavy sleep.

  “Jenna?” Gabe stroked her arm lightly as she dozed, snuggled into him.

  “Mmm- hmmm,” she moaned quietly.

  “This is pretty perfect.” He kissed the top of her head.

  “It’s been a while, huh?” She moved slightly, draping her arm across his bare stomach.

  “Too long,” he allowed, tracing small, interwoven, invisible circles on her skin.

  “I could do this forever,” Jenna said, slipping off into a peaceful, deep sleep.

  ~ * * * ~

  She didn’t know what time it was, only that it was still pitch black outside. The only light was from the hazy moon peaking through the gauzy sheers of hotel curtains. She had stumbled into the bathroom retching in pain, unable to breathe. Every fiber of her body screamed with agony, as though she had been set on fire and burned in acid. She could hardly move, collapsing in on herself. Feeling the cool tile beneath her as blood bubbled from nose, she tried feebly to wipe it away, smearing it across the plane of her cheek. Her stomach heaved, and milky yellow bile spilled from her lips, soaking the front of her nightgown. She pressed her cheek against the seat of the toilet; the cool porcelain felt like ice against her skin.

  “Gabe?” she whispered, trying to pull herself up to the brim of the toilet. “Gabe,” she yelled louder, managing to lift her head up.

  “What? What’s wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?” Gabe ran into the bathroom, his eyes unfocused and blurry with sleep, sinking down beside Jenna, going white with horror.

  “I think ... something is wrong, Gabe. Please, help me.” Jenna tried to grab onto him, finding her arms useless and dead.

  Gabe was up in an instant. Running from the bathroom to the adjoining bedroom, Jenna heard the phone snatched from the cradle and Gabe pleading with someone on the other end to send help. He spoke in quick, panicked tones. Jenna’s eyes slid closed, giving herself up to the darkness.

  ~ * * * ~

  “Jenna? Jenna can you hear me? Please squeeze my hand if you can,” a soft voice pleaded with her.

  “Gabe, what happened? She was fine when ya’ll left!”

  “I don’t know. We went to dinner, back to the hotel, we went to bed ... and next thing I knew, she was on the floor, screaming. She was throwing up, screaming that everything hurt, she was bleeding. She had a fever, and it was really high, she was burning up.” Gabe’s voice pitched with stress.

  “And the doctors ... ” Sophia began quietly, a comforting, cooing tone.

  “Are saying nothing. They’ll watch her and run some tests in the morning, but otherwise, I guess this is expected,” Gabe finished. “They’re talking about skilled care, night nurses, hospice.”

  Jenna opened her eyes slowly. The sterile white of the room alarmed her.

  “Gabe? Gabe?” Jenna tried to sit up, pushing against the cold steel of the bed rails. She knew where she was; the air inside these rooms felt different to her.

  “Jenna, baby, everything’s okay, I’m here.” Gabe leaned down to brush the damp, matted hair from her forehead, pressing his lips to her forehead. “You really gave us a scare, J.”

  “I don’t ... remember. What happened?”

  A television mounted to the wall was flashing news scenes of early morning Seattle, and a steady thrum of machines kept time beside her. Benign pictures of seascapes dotted the wall. The room was sparsely furnished: a few well worn chairs for visitors cluttered the floor, a two person dinette was placed under the television, she assumed, for meal time. It dawned on her: this was a long term care room; this was the sort of place you came and stayed for a good, long while.

  “You got sick, baby, that’s all. You’re okay now, everything is going to be okay,” he hushed in her ear, staying beside her.

  Jenna caught Sophia’s eyes, as she stood at the foot of the bed, wrapped tightly in a thick wool sweater pulled tight around her middle. Her eyes betrayed the pacifying words Gabe said. There was fresh fear in the pools of blue, stained with the dark inky bruises of sleeplessness and real worry beneath them. Her hands forming a tight prayer knot below her breasts. She looked pale, drawn, creased with concern. There was no mistaking the look, she’d seen it before, in the mirror looking back at her.

  “Soph, where is Mia, is she here?” Jenna leaned back, her head crunching against the plastic hospital pillow.

  “Ginny came over, she’s with the kids. I called her. Mia is just fine, honey, just fine.” Sophia exhaled, forcing a smile that looked more like she was gritting her teeth against something painful. She pulled her hands apart and smoothed them down the front of her pants.

  “Good, okay, good.” Jenna nodded solemnly. Ginny was there, everything would be safe and comfortable for Mia when she woke up, she wouldn’t even know about this. Jenna mentally calculated the good luck in this, as little as it was, that Mia would never need to know. So she’d gotten sick. That happened before, this was nothing new. She’d stayed over nights in the hospital before, too. This was all okay. Well, not okay, but not the end of the world.

  “You should get some sleep, J. We’ll be here when you wake up, but you need some rest.” Gabe switched off the bedside light, encouraging Jenna back into sleep.

  “I feel okay, and I’m not tired. I would like to go home.” Jenna tried to pull herself up into a sitt
ing position; her muscles still protested a little when she moved, but it wasn’t terrible.

  “No, Jen, you can’t. I’m happy you’re feeling better, but the doctors want to run some tests and speak with you in the morning. It’s best that you stay until they can figure all of this out. Besides, no one is going to release you at this hour,” Sophia reasoned, settling into a worn chair by the small dinette in the corner of the room, pulling her knees up into her chest.

  “I can just come back in the morning. I’ll sleep better at home anyway,” Jenna protested. “I got sick, that’s all. We’ve been down that road before; I’m more comfortable at home.”

  “Jenna. Please. Just listen to the doctors. If they say stay, you stay. Remember, we had a pact: We’d always listen to the professionals, no matter what?” Gabe reasoned, subtly pushing a red button beside the bed, calling for the nurse.

  “Gabe, I want to go home, this is just silly. I can come back in the morning.” Jenna tried again to sit up, and Gabe laid his hand on her shoulder, keeping her in place, resisting her efforts.

  “They want to observe you for a while. That’s all. We need to understand what happened and how to stop it from happening again.” Gabe voice had a raw edge to it, a place he so rarely went with her.

  The squeaking of medical shoes on shined linoleum broke the conversation off as a plump, sweet faced, elderly nurse walked into the room.

  “Mrs. Chamberland, you’re awake!” She smiled jovially at Jenna, checking the fluid bags, and subtly placing a cool hand on her forehead, on her wrist. This nurse was practiced; the caress was no more than a whisper of a touch, but effective and deliberate.

  “You can call me Jenna,” Jenna answered automatically. She hated the formality of the hospital almost as much as she hated the hospital itself.

  “Okay then, Jenna. And I’m Peg. Well, you gave everyone quite a scare. So glad you’re awake. Tell me, sweetheart, how are you feeling?” She clicked a pen open in her hand as she scanned a metal tablet over the rims below her reader glasses.

 

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