Sarah burst through the door first, dropping her book bag beside the welcoming bench. “It smells so good in here! You look pretty.” Sarah’s eyes grazed over Mia, nodding with approval.
“Thanks.” Mia blushed and lowered her eyes. “Everything is set up out back, so help yourself, you know the drill.”
Griff and few others ambled in the door, looking around the expansive Chamberland home. Mia knew what they saw, but the luxury had long since worn off. The house was still one of the largest in town, Jenna had managed to hammer down timeless when it was built.
Mia saw him. Bryan walked slowly up the plank and stone steps towards the warmth of her home. He looked shy and handsome, an exciting blend. His blue polo shirt tucked neatly into his jeans, a warn brown leather belt hugged his hips, his hair was messy from gym and his cheeks were flushed with the afterglow of laughter.
“Nice place.” Bryan smiled, a deep dimple piercing his cheek.
“Thanks.” Mia smiled back, a blush burning her chest and cheeks. “Everyone’s out back; Ginny put out food, figured you’d be starved after school.”
“She’s right.” Bryan slipped her hand over hers, pulling the door closed.
Laughter filtered through the open door out back, guiding them towards the gathering. The fire pit raged and the chairs were filled with lounging teenagers snacking and slurping on icy soda.
“Great backyard, Chamberland.” Griff raised his soda in approval as Mia and Bryan slipped through the door. He was lounging with Sarah, his arm casually draped across her shoulder. They looked comfortable, and a knot of envy tied itself in Mia’s stomach.
“Oh, thanks. Yeah, my parents really wanted to make this, like, an outdoor living room.” Mia shrugged, helping herself to a diet Pepsi floating at the top of the nearly empty basin.
“Very cool,” Griff agreed and kissed Sarah heavily on her cheek, spinning her into a fit of playful laughter.
“So how was school?” Mia asked Sarah, glancing at Bryan who had walked towards the cliff edge.
“Same old, same old. You missed nothing!” Sarah took a small sip of her soda before heaving herself up from the chair to join Mia. “You should not be standing around here, go talk to him.” Sarah nudged Mia in the direction of Bryan who was haloed in the light of the fading sun.
“What do I say?” Mia asked, wide eyed, horrified by the thought of approaching him, talking to him.
“I don’t know, just talk ... It’s not really that hard,” Sarah sighed, as if what she was saying was common sense and Mia was just slow.
Sarah reached her hand into the tub and pulled out a Sprite, thrusting it into Mia’s hand. “Give him that, it’s an excuse, then just ask him stuff about sports or work ...who cares ... just talk to him.”
Mia felt the can dampen her hand as she crossed the yard. The thick, plush grass padded beneath the soles of her shoes. “Bryan?”
Bryan spun around quickly, and smiled at her approached, his eyes traced the length of her body in the darkening light. “Hi,” he said softly.
“I thought maybe you’d want this.” Mia held the can out, away from her, offering it to him.
“Thanks, that was real nice of you.” Bryan took the can, snapping the top open and taking a long swallow of the bubbly syrupy soda.
“So, um, how was school?” Mia asked quietly, her cheeks burning with the effort of being casual while the blood rushed through her veins almost painfully.
“It was okay. I was looking for you, thought maybe you were sick.” Bryan tilted his head to the side, shrugging his shoulders in nonchalance.
“No, I’m fine, not sick ... just played hooky, mental health day,” said Mia with a half smile and mimicked his casual shrug.
Bryan took another long sip, and nodded in agreement, “Mental health?” His tone turned teasingly in speculation.
“Oh, no, not like crazy-mental-health!” Mia fumbled her words, the blush that had threatened turned serious, she felt feverish and lightheaded.
“I’m joking,” Bryan laughed easily, it was full bodied sound, deep and thick and manly.
“Oh.” Mia shuffled her feet, feeling the soft grass give, digging her toes into the earth.
“No, really. I think it’s cool. Everyone needs a break sometimes.”
Mia paced towards the cliff edge, allowing the heavy breeze off the bay to wash over her, it felt good on her warm skin.
“So, a break ... What for? Boy troubles?” Bryan pressed, keeping the conversation rolling.
“Nothing like that.” Mia shook her head, glaring out over the open sea.
“So what then? I’m curious ... Maybe you’ve got something I could use with my folks.”
“Hmmm, I don’t think it would work for you ... and I don’t know why I’m going to tell you this,” Mia began slowly, the words fixing themselves in her mind, felt awkward, exposed. “My mom died nine years ago today.”
It was November, Jenna had lived to see Mia dress up one last time for Halloween. Mia had been a princess, Sophia had hastily thrown together something glittery and pink for her from the fading supply at the local costume store. Jenna had held on, Gabe later told her, for one last perfect memory of Mia’s childhood.
“Oh,” Bryan mumbled. “I didn’t know ... well, I knew … but I didn’t … ” His words caught and failed as he slipped into an awkward silence.
“It’s okay.” Mia nodded. “Guess that doesn’t help you with your parents though,” Mia added lightly.
“No. Not really,” Bryan allowed, taking another long swallow of the soda. “I’m sorry.” He turned to Mia, lowering his gaze to meet her eyes, and his warm breath minty and sweet with soda washed her face.
“It’s okay,” Mia repeated, unsure of what else to say. She wasn’t good at talking about her mom, not with strangers, tears always threatened her just below the surface.
“Mia, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen.”
Mia’s heart swelled. She talked about Jenna with only a few people: her father, Ginny, Aunt Sophia, Sarah, and her therapist. But generally, her mother was an off limits topic; it was still too raw and sensitive. Jenna was a weak link, soft and raw like an exposed nerve incapable of healing, always threatening to rip away her composure and calm, leaving her vulnerable and emotional.
“Mia!” Ginny hollered from the open door way, her thick build framed in the buttery light of the kitchen.
Mia glanced woefully at Bryan. “I’ll be right back,” she said before she took off jogging towards the house.
“Sorry, were you calling long?” Mia asked a few paces from the door, ignoring the speculative looks of her friends sprawled all over the patios, distracted from their various conversations and games.
“Come on inside for a minute.” Ginny held the door for Mia, who slipped under her arm into the overly warm kitchen.
“What’s up? Am I in trouble?” Mia asked, concerned.
“Just got off the phone with your dad. He’s not going to home for make dinner.” Ginny’s eyes pinched, awaiting the disappointment to crush Mia.
“Oh! Is that all?” Mia asked, relief washed over her.
“I figured you’d be upset,” Ginny tilted her head, confused.
“It’s okay ... I kind of overheard your conversation this morning ... ” Mia admitted.
“This newfound understanding doesn’t have anything to do with that handsome young man out there waiting for you?” Ginny smiled suggestively.
“A little bit,” Mia answered honestly. “But mostly, it’s okay, he’s got to do what he’s got to do.” Mia shrugged, her eyes drifting back to the cliff edge. The night was blackening but she could still see Bryan waiting.
Ginny wrapped Mia in a strong hug, the kind she usually reserved for moments like this; it reminded Mia of being a little girl.
“You’ll stay the night?” Mia asked hopefully into Ginny’s neck, where she nestled her head.
“Sure, sugar.” Ginny released her, and hu
stled her back towards the door. “You enjoy your night. And don’t worry, I’ll fix some pizza and put out more soda for your friends.”
Mia announced that dinner would be served soon as she passed quickly through the small gathering back to Bryan.
“Ginny’s making pizza for dinner, can you stay? I think everyone else is,” she asked as she approached him.
“Sure, that sounds good. Thanks.” He laced his arm over her shoulder lightly.
“So you really want to hear about my mom?” Mia asked, raising her face to his.
She was unsure if she could go there with him, but she wanted to. She liked him, a lot. It wasn’t just his handsome face or his good hearted nature; she wanted to trust to him, to reveal herself to him, to open herself up in a new way.
“I’ll listen if you want to talk, but I don’t want to, you know, pressure you.” Bryan tightened his arm around her, it felt good, strong and reassuring.
“She had breast cancer. I was only seven when she died, and she was sick for most of my life,” Mia began, trying to figure out the right words that would tell the story and keep her safe from an emotional breakdown.
“Wow,” Bryan answered softly.
“I remember a lot of things about her, she was amazing. A really great mom, I was lucky. She was an author, a really good one, too ... popular,” Mia smiled, it wasn’t painful to talk about the great things her mom was.
“I’ll look up her books, what did she write?” Bryan asked, genuinely interested.
Mia laughed. “Books for women, probably nothing you’d read, even on a dare!”
“Don’t be so sure, I’d like to read one—you know--get a feel for who she was.”
“They’re good. I’ve read them all. But, then again, I’m a woman. I could give you one if you want,” Mia mused.
“That would be great, thanks.”
“So, yeah, today my Dad gave me this box—a hope chest—do you know what that is?” Mia asked.
“Kind of.”
“Yeah, well, my Mom recorded these tapes for me. She called them “‘milestone tapes.’”
“Really? That’s very, very cool.”
“I think so. There’s a bunch of them, and I get to listen to them on important days or times,” Mia explained.
“Wow.” Bryan nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, I miss her, all the time,” Mia admitted quietly. “And it’s weird, you know, the things you miss. Like I wish she was around to ground me ... Isn’t that so crazy? But it’s only because I know behind that punishment is love.”
“That is crazy ... ” Bryan laughed loudly., “But, you’ve got your Dad.”
“Yeah, I do. He’s cool, very laid back. He works all the time, which sucks, but I understand it.”
“Well, it looks like you live pretty large,” Bryan justified.
Mia thought about her life, her comfortable, tended to home, the shiny new Jeep in the driveway—her birthday present, her closet full of expensive clothes, her summer trips to various islands and her padded bank account thanks to her generous allowance. Her father provided a very plush life for her with the hours he dutifully put into his work.
“Yeah, all of this is nice, but I wish he was around more.”
“He’s a single parent, that can’t be easy.”
“He’s a great dad. But when my mom died he changed. He used to build homes here in town, you know. He wanted to be with my mom and me all the time. But when she died, he was unhappy here, doing that here. I think he felt ... I guess he felt trapped. He went back to this other life, back in Seattle, a few years ago. Now, he shuttles into the city every day ... and like tonight ... he’s not even coming home.”
“And you’ve got Ginny.”
“And my Aunt Soph,” Mia added. “But if I had my mom, things would be different. So knowing that makes accepting all of this, for what it is, harder.”
Mia didn’t expect Bryan to understand, she wanted him to, but the understanding was something bigger than an eighteen year old could grasp without real life experience. His life was perfectly normal after all. A mom who was involved and around, a dad who worked fifteen minutes away, a handful of brothers and sisters to love. Mia’s life was different.
“So, that’s basically it,” Mia shrugged away from Bryan and walked closer to the cliff edge, wrapping her arms around herself.
“Mia,” Bryan whispered, walking softly towards her. She turned slowly to face him. His eyes blazed warm with something she had never seen before. He lowered his face to hers and brushed his lips lightly against hers. They felt firm and somehow soft as they moved against hers in tandem. He slipped his arms around her lower back, pulling her in closer, the heat of his skin scorching her back through her thin sweater. His breath tasted sweet, he smelt clean and fresh, he felt warm and solid under her light touch.
He pulled back slowly, searching her face for something. Mia’s heart fluttered hard in her chest, her eyes closed and a small smile tugged on the corners of her lips.
“Wow,” Bryan whispered.
“Wow.” Mia’s eyes exploded with small dancing, flashes of lights. Fireworks.
“Mia, I really like you, a lot ... you’re interesting, and different and special,” Bryan began, “and I would love to take you out sometime, just the two of us, not a group thing.”
“I’d like that, a lot.”
“Good, because I’m really, really into you. You’re not like the other girls.” Bryan lowered his face again, kissing Mia deeply, weaving his finger up under her pony tail, pulling her face against his, taking her breath away.
~ * * * ~
“He asked me out!” Mia gushed as she helped Ginny gather the discarded plates and cups littered across the patio. The steady hum of nocturnal life droned beside them, the fire pit smoldering itself out.
“He did?” Ginny asked excitedly, plunking an empty cup in the waiting trash can.
“Yes!” Mia all but screamed into the quiet night.
“That’s wonderful, sweetness.” Ginny grazed Mia’s arm lightly.
“Tomorrow night! Can you believe it?”
“Oh, I can believe it, all right. You’re a beautiful girl, no reason for boys not to be banging down this door to get a date with you,” Ginny laughed lightly, as if it were a given that Mia would be desirable.
“Doubtful, but thanks,” Mia laughed.
“You never see yourself the way others do. Told my girls that all the time. You see your flaws, others see your perfections,” Ginny reasoned.
“We’re going to Cafe Garden.”
“Oh, very nice.”
“What do I wear? Should I get something new?” Mia considered the possibilities in her closet, the little black wrap dress and kitten heals, or the wool sweat dress with black tights and Mary Janes, or slacks with the pumpkin silk blouse and sweater wrap she saw hanging at the boutique the other day. She wanted to look beautiful, mature and grown up.
“You’ll be beautiful in whatever you choose, sweetness,” Ginny decided, cinching the bag closed and lifting its weight into her arms.
“I’m nervous,” Mia admitted bashfully. She’d been on dates before, that much was true. But the boys she’d humored never held her interest the way Bryan did. They were sweet and kind and cute, but Bryan stirred her.
“First love is always that way,” Ginny dismissed, carrying the bag to the can and surveying the tidy yard.
“Love?” Mia asked, surprised to hear the word pass Ginny’s lips.
“Of course.”
“I don’t … love him.”
“Have you ever been in love before?” Ginny settled into a wrought iron chair looking into the dying embers of the fire pit.
“No!”
“Well, I can just tell you what I know. I’ve seen you with this boy, Bryan is a good young man, and you’re different with him. Maybe it’s not love, not yet, but it’s different with him ... you’re different with him.”
“You can’t possibly know that! I hardly know h
im, we’ve hung out sure, but I don’t think I love him—doesn’t that take, like I don’t know ... time?” Mia countered, sitting down beside Ginny, resting her head on Ginny’s shoulder.
“I’ve raised you since you were a little girl, Mia. I know you, everything about you, I love you like you were my own, and I’m very attuned to you, sweetness. So, yes, I can see changes in you—even the small ones—I see them all.” Ginny wrapped her arm around Mia, holding her close.
“So what do I wear?”
“Oh Mia,” Ginny laughed loudly, squeezing Mia tightly.
~ * * * ~
Mia heard the tires of the car pull up the drive and she chewed nervously on the pink inside of her cheek. The sweater dress itched her back and she wanted to change again, but time was up.
Bryan knocked carefully of the glass door and waited, his back to the window as he looked out across the yard.
Gabe pulled the door away and appraised the young man bouncing nervously on the step.
“Hi, um, Mr. Chamberland. I’m here to pick up Mia.” Bryan thrust his hand out formally.
“Call me Gabe. Come in for a minute, she’s almost ready ... I think.” Gabe smiled taking the boy’s hand in his own, giving it a solid pump before he pulled the door aside, allowing Bryan to pass.
Mia had spent the better part of the early evening disassembling her closet. Clothes lay scattered like dead bodies across the floor of her room. She smudged another coat of berry lipstick on her full lips and closed her eyes hard. She was nervous. Sarah had come over earlier to help her pick the right outfit, but quickly gave up when Mia hemmed over the finer points of black versus grey.
“So, Bryan.” Gabe offered Bryan a seat in front of the television. “Tell me about yourself.” He muted the volume.
“Well, Sir, I’m a senior. I go to school with Mia. I work at the YMCA.”
The Milestone Tapes Page 21