by Karen Aldous
Thierry listened and watched Cal with eager intensity as they dressed the pizzas with their collection of little dishes containing the ingredients. Not exactly perfect pizzas but they showed great promise. Cal then told him that it needed to go in the oven for a while and cool down afterwards which gave him time to go along upstairs with his mummy for a bath.
It had been a long time since Cal and his son had spent such quality time together and he couldn’t contain the surge that welled up his eyes. Thierry was such a lovely kid and it made him realise just what he had missed out on. Yes, he was sure parenting was seriously hard work but those little moments, capturing just snippets of treasured memories, like he had had with Jack in the past, and like he had with Thierry today, were so rewarding. Soaking up tears with his thumb, he couldn’t wait to see more of his son. It was only a matter of months now before he was sixteen and they could see more of each other.
Right now however, it was music to his ears that Caroline and Lizzie had laid the first stone in rebuilding their relationship. Once their wall was solid, Cal felt, and hoped, to take his next step. If he could just hold out just a little longer until mother and daughter were both strong enough to seal their future, then he could possibly sort out his own. Not only did it gratify him to repay Caroline but he was relishing being around Lizzie and Thierry and feeling part of a family. With any luck, Caroline would be home in a few days to make it complete.
***
Thierry enthused to his mother about the pizza-making process as she bathed him. Lizzie smiled to herself, impressed by his knowledge. Once in his pyjamas she sent him back down to Cal to savour his cooking. Cal then read him a story from one of the old books that still remained on Lizzie’s old bookcase. She then heard Thierry come up the stairs.
‘Mummy.’
‘Did you enjoy your pizza, darling.’
‘The best pizza in the whole world,’ he said, with his tongue sliding out over his lips. ‘I made it and ate it I did mummy.’
‘You did darling and I’m very proud of you.’ Lizzie squeezed him and kissed him hard before settling him into his bed. ‘I’ll come back up and turn off your light shortly,’ she told him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. ‘Goodnight darling.’
‘Night, night Mummy.’
This was amazing, he nearly always needed a countdown into his nightclothes, and a story in bed, she had never known him so compliant. Leaving him chilled and happily browsing pictures in his book, she then dried off her hair.
Feeling refreshed and so much happier, she applied a soothing moisturiser to her skin, a small dash of make-up and light perfume. She returned to the kitchen. Aromas of oils and herbs drifted through the air. Cal’s back was to her as she entered and she stood for a few moments observing. His muscular body she examined, so perfectly formed, with a bum so cute she just wanted to pinch it, caress its curves. His tousled hair just cried out for her to run her hands through. And as he turned, those lips, he had the most beautiful lips. She so wanted to rush to him. Take him. Own him. She had to stop her mind overindulging. He wasn’t up for grabs and she shouldn’t even for one minute be dreaming of possibilities. It was the grossest act of disloyalty to her mother. She flung herself back to the moment.
‘Thierry loved his pizza,’ she told Cal. ‘He’s so chuffed about making it. Thank you for feeding him and,’ her voice trailed away, trying desperately to curb the enthusiasm, ‘keeping him occupied.’
‘Pleasure’s all mine. I love to cook pizza. Pizza and pasta, herbs, cheeses, Parma ham mmm…I just love the Italian simplicity.’
‘Well he appreciated it. You really don’t have to go to all this trouble you know.’
‘But I want to. I asked Thierry on our way back from the nursery what his favourite dinner was and it just so happened to be one of mine too. And, I also asked him what his mummy’s favourite food was and guess what?’
‘He said pizza.’
‘Yes he did.’ Then Cal turned back to the oven and opened the door. ‘Et, voila,’ he said, with a smug grin. ‘He also said you like a pasta.’ With a tea-towel in his hands, he dragged out a small lasagne dish from the oven and placed it on a wooden pan stand and from the back of the worktop he scooped up a huge, round salad dish brimming with colour. ‘And a rocket salad so, I couldn’t resist adding my speciality. Ta da.’
‘He did not say a rocket salad,’ Lizzie laughed.
‘Ok, but he did say you liked pasta. Now there’s a boy who knows his stuff.’
‘He does know his pasta and you are spoiling us.’
‘You are both so easy to spoil.’ Cal placed the food on the table. He gave her an ’I’m being serious’ look as she sipped some wine and sat down ready to eat. ‘You, I admire so much,’ he continued. ‘Not only are you beautiful but you are gutsy and determined. Thierry, he’s a delight. He appreciates so much. You are both so unspoiled.’
Lizzie beamed proudly but knew it wasn’t true. ‘He can act spoilt and sulk when he wants his own way, you’ll see.’
‘Well then, he’ll be a real man won’t he?’ Cal remarked.
Lizzie laughed again, feeling her tension dissolve. Her skin felt flushed and her whole being felt warm. Cal had taken charge and it was nice for once not to have to do anything, she felt like warm putty in his hands. Thierry certainly was. He seemed so comfortable around him, so natural. Cal would make a great ‘daddy’ or granddaddy, she thought. She admired his domestic prowess as Cal finish laying the table, adding dressing to the salad and opening another bottle of wine. He gave her covert glances from time to time which made the hairs on her skin dance with guilty pleasure whilst her cheeks shot a pink glow each time she caught him.
Tonight her heart felt lighter, her shoulders too. Finally speaking with her mother had lightened her load for sure, but Cal being so supportive and helpful was quite overwhelming. She imagined he was fulfilling his duty and was playing daddy to both of them, preparing himself for a role when her mother was home. It was a shame she thought selfishly, he wasn’t playing daddy to Thierry.
‘Oh, I need to text Sophie and turn off Thierry’s light.’ She jumped up to find her phone. As she jerked her chair back and rushed up Cal was suddenly there, placing the new bottle of red on the table to breathe, and as he turned she smacked straight in to him. His closeness was too much and she reached out, her hands suddenly on his waist steadying herself. The touch sent tingling right through her as he caught her with his arm and she let him catch her. Their eyes were now just inches apart and she could feel those lips pulling her in like a magnet but instead they said.
‘SSt…Steady.’ And his eyes lingered for a moment then turned away quickly. ‘You can relax. Chill and forget everything. I’ll pour you another wine and when you come back, dinner will be served. Don’t be too long.’
She rushed off to complete her tasks, her mind buzzing with what could be and how easily she would succumb. Self-control, she reminded herself, glumly.
Chapter 17
After what she could only describe as a near-romantic evening meal with Cal, Lizzie couldn’t sleep. Her mind churned over the evening’s small but significant events. She got flashbacks of when they’d got close or rather, when she had reached for his waist, putting her arms on his firm torso, unable to resist touching him and feeling his firm, muscular body. Reflecting back she felt such a fool. It was so obvious she had initiated the contact it was embarrassing. Then as they ate, she made it worse by telling him she’d lost her balance because of the wine. Like he would believe one glass of wine was likely to knock her off her feet. What must he think of her making a play for him, her mother’s boyfriend? Possibly her new father. But, was he flirting too? Surely, she had imagined it. That would be so low, particularly with her mother in her condition. But he was so sweet about Thierry and Thierry so obviously got on well with him.
Her thoughts then turned to her mother. How would her mother be tomorrow? Today with her was highly emotional and it was difficult to imagine it would b
e as intense but hopefully they could keep working on their relationship. She’d been surprised at her own feelings and how much love she still held for her mother. She’d felt an overwhelming need to help her and be needed. And her mother seemed so genuinely responsive. It was like she’d found a different person. She was caught between the past and the present. Would it be hard for her mother to admit she needed her? She’d rarely shown affection, she imagined it would be, she couldn’t recall a time when her mother told her she loved her, let alone needed her.
Her father always did, so too did her grandparents. A few tears welled as she thought back to how complete her world was once upon a time. How secure and wonderful it all felt. Now she wanted to create that world for Thierry. She would like Thierry to feel he has people around him who loved him. His grandmother, a grandfather, maybe Cal? Aunty Sophie and of course herself, his mummy.
Reluctantly she then thought of Anton and whether he could ever fit into her son’s life. Not that she wanted him in their life but she had to be realistic. But she didn’t want him taking over. She had to try to work something out; Thierry, she realised, would also have other grandparents.
A panic lurched through her. Her mother must know soon and get to know him. She wasn’t sure how her mother would respond to a grandchild. It could be the best time or it could be the worst. How was she to gauge? And, her stomach turned, would her mother have picked out the photographs from the bag? What would she think if she had? Would she be ashamed of her daughter or could she overlook that now. Maybe her illness would change her perspective.
***
Thierry woke her. He was chatting away telling her that he had eaten his ChocoWheels with Cal and that Cal had sent him back up the stairs to clean his teeth. Suddenly in a panic and wondering what the hell the time was, Lizzie leaped out of bed. She checked her phone. She couldn’t believe it was nine thirty.
‘Can we go to the cricket with Cal now Mummy?’ Thierry asked.
‘I’ll check with him darling,’ she said, throwing on jeans and a top.
Thierry skipped excitedly to the bedroom door. ‘I’m going to clean my teeth.’
‘You are a good boy.’ She went into the bathroom with Thierry and gave him his toothbrush and squeezed on his toothpaste. Then she turned on the tap and quickly waved his brush under the water before splashing her face with water. It was deliberately cold to wake her up. Then grabbing her own toothbrush she brushed her own teeth, all the while cursing herself for not waking up. Down in the kitchen she was surprised Cal wasn’t there.
‘Damn! Where is he?’
She ran back up the stairs. Thierry was wiping his face with a towel.
‘Do you know where Cal is?’
‘Outside Mummy. Cal went outside.’
‘Thank you sweetheart. Have you finished? Yes. Ok. Mummy will just put some clothes on and we will go and look for Cal. We’ll ask him what time the cricket is.’
‘Yes Mummy.’
Outside they headed for Cal’s new winery. Lizzie stood and waited as Cal was talking to an electrician, his hands gesticulating madly in his explanation. He finished conducting and walked over to her.
‘I’m really sorry I overslept. Thank you though for feeding Thierry.’
‘No problem. I’ll be about five minutes and we’ll walk up to the cricket green; that’s if you still want to?’
‘Yes fine. I want to be back for about one though so that I can shower and grab Thierry some lunch before I go up to the hospital.’
‘Is Thierry going with you?’
She gave him a miserable stare. ‘I don’t know,’ she said, scratching her head. I’m not sure what to do.’
‘Look. I need to finish up here. Go and have your shower and I’ll be in soon.’
‘Well I don’t want a shower until I come back. But I’ll go and have a think about what I’m going to do.’
Thierry played with his cars in the conservatory whilst Lizzie made some coffee and a piece of toast. Why, she asked herself, was she finding it so difficult to make a decision? She made a quick call to the salon. Her manager reported it had been quiet so Lizzie asked her to put together some marketing ideas and she would discuss them with Sophie. She was just about to call Sophie when Cal walked back in. Feeling more positive, she gave him her decision on taking Thierry to the hospital.
‘Would you mind Thierry for me if I go to the hospital?’
‘Yes. That’s not a problem. You’ve decided not to take him then?’
‘Well, not exactly. I was thinking. If I go in at two o’clock and have a talk with her first, see how she is, if all is ok, tell her, then if the reaction is what I’m hoping, I will come back for him.’
‘Ok, if you think that’s best.’
‘Well I really don’t know but I think it best I gauge her reaction rather than expose Thierry to an avoidable outburst.’
‘Ok, sounds good,’ he agreed. ‘Shall we go up to the cricket now?’ Immediately he heard the word cricket, Thierry came running in.
‘Can we go to the cricket?’
‘Please. Thierry. Remember your manners,’ corrected Lizzie.
‘Please,’ he added and Cal gave him a light pinch on the cheek.
‘Who could refuse you little man?’
‘Shoes Thierry? You want your trainers on.’ Locking up, Lizzie grabbed jackets on the way out, just in case.
They strolled along the village like any normal relaxed family. Lizzie pointed to a house she always loved and then to a road where one of her friends used to live.
‘That’s where my cottage is. The second on the left,’ said Cal.
‘Really. That’s a beautiful little spot.’
‘Yes, I like it. Not far from the pub here either.’
They walked a few more yards along, and after a relaxed silence, Lizzie said, ‘I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why is it so important for you to help us anyway?’
‘That is a good question,’ he said, fixing his eyes on the path ahead and leaving a long silence. ‘At first, my reason was to help Caroline. She has helped me achieve my dream and it was something I could do to return her kindness. I suppose because I was travelling to the south of France anyway, it made it easy but she was terribly upset after your visit so it was the least I could do. I know what it’s like, remember, to be kept apart from a child you love.’
‘Mmm, yes.’ Lizzie nodded and wondered if her mother would genuinely feel that deeply about her.
‘Then,’ Cal continued, ‘I got to know you and Thierry and, I don’t know, got to like and care about you both.’
‘So what about your investment in the land. Did that not affect your reasons?’
‘Naturally, I want a harmonious relationship between myself and Caroline. Business and private, but I’ve grown to like you Lizzie and I suppose I wanted - want - to get to know you better.’
Lizzie wasn’t sure how to interpret this statement. Surely he wouldn’t chase his girlfriend’s daughter. That was despicable, particularly as her mother was so poorly. What sort of guy was he really? Lizzie’s stomach somersaulted. Does he mean like as in, lust? Or, is it just like as a possible daughter in law? She couldn’t, wouldn’t, ask him. That would be fatal if he said he liked, like, lusted after her. Had she been giving him the wrong signals? Or rather, did he read her signals? There was no mistaking she was attracted to him, maybe he had sensed her attraction and was trying his luck. What should she do now?
‘Well, you are getting to know us, Thierry and me. Let’s just hope we can get Mum home so she can get well and things can get back to normal,’ she said with a frostiness in her tone.
Feeling uncomfortable, Lizzie wasn’t quite sure what she meant. All she knew was she had to be on her guard and now she felt on edge. She couldn’t risk jeopardising her mother’s relationship with Cal. She really had to focus on rebuilding her own relationship with her mother and caring for her mother so she got well again.
Chapter 18
Lizzie walked back t
o the house alone, leaving Thierry and Cal enjoying the cricket. She was rehearsing in her mind how she was going to approach her mother. As she neared the house she saw a car sweep out of the drive. She tried to see who the driver was as he went by. The tinted windows made it difficult to see but she could just about make out a middle-aged driver, neat hair and greying temples, seemingly smartly dressed. She had no idea who he was but he definitely came out of their driveway. She would ask Cal later if he was expecting anyone. His father perhaps? A friend? Maybe a golf buddy. Someone working on the winery. Ah. That was possibly it. A business associate. She satisfied herself that that was the most likely explanation. So she continued on, let herself into the house and headed up for a shower.
***
After parking Cal’s car, Lizzie entered the hospital shop and chose a box of chocolates and some boiled sweets to take into her mother. Making her way to the till on a stand she found a pretty little card which read ‘Get Well Grandma’. She couldn’t resist it and popped it on top of the other items to take to the till, hoping it was a good sign.
Treading lightly and carefully up to her mother’s bed, she hovered sheepishly just before the curtain. She then saw her mother’s slippers and gown and put on a smile.
‘Hello,’ she said as she stepped round, to her relief, to find a much happier and brighter face. Her mother beamed back at her. Lizzie noticed she wore the new nighty. The pink silk flattered her skin colour much more than the previous burgundy colour she had worn.
‘Hello Lizzie. I’ve so been looking forward to you coming,’ she said excitedly. Again relief swept over Lizzie. Hopefully if her mood was good she could tell her…unless. Unless, she had seen the photo. ‘I’m just itching to ask you Lizzie,’ Caroline reached for her reading glasses and then from the top of her bedside table reached for a photograph. ‘How do I put this? Is this your child?’ and she turned the photo of Thierry round. There was no way back now.