by Holly Hood
Was the music gone because they got what they wanted? Or were they going with another route. They still played music, but it was in more an intimate setting and Slade Oz and Kidd were writing their own songs.
I spun back around. Hutch was there standing in front of me.
“You need to get away from them. What they are a part of is evil, and you’re a nice girl, I’d hate to see you falling into the palm of something so sinister.” His hand ran across my shoulder, sending a shiver down my spine. His eyes darkened, he stared at me, I swallowed, trying to pull it together.
I felt like a moth flying so close to the fire it was burning my wings, but I didn’t care I wanted to get even closer. I raised my head, welcoming his fingers into my hair, the feeling making my scalp prickle.
I bit my lip. “I don’t want that,” I admitted.
Hutch moved closer. I backed up, the window sill digging into my leg. “Let me help.”
He dropped his hand to my neck, his fingers caressing the flesh. I closed my eyes, my heart pounding in my throat at this point. I knew what was to come, and I was waiting for it. Dying to know what it felt like to feel his lips pressed against mine.
Hutch leaned forward. This was it, the moment. I pushed against the carpet, on my tiptoes; he took hold of my face coming an inch from my lips, but lingered long enough to run his nose against mine. A million butterflies plundered my chest at his soft touch.
My arms snaked around him. He came nearer running his lips down my throat. His fingers stroked my hair. I arched my back to get even closer to him, my body dying for more from him. Every fiber was pleading for his mouth to connect with mine, to put me out of my misery.
“All you have to do is ask,” he said, his voice husky, his jaw flexing under the amount of effort he was putting into not kissing me. I tugged him closer, his chest against me. His hand slid down my back finding my backside and tugged me even closer. He pushed into me and pressed my back against the wall, pinning me in place.
I closed my eyes and sighed. I couldn’t bring myself to kiss him. And I couldn’t bring myself to ask.
“It’s alright, Doll.” He backed off, ending our close encounter.
I nodded. It had to be alright, because I didn’t have it in me to make such a choice. It was obvious there was an attraction, but that didn’t mean I needed to follow through with it.
Variety
“You have to go,” I told Hutch, he stared me down. “Please.”
“Why are you upset?”
I tore my eyes away from his. “I have a boyfriend. And I care about him. It may not seem like it, but I do.”
Hutch raised his eyebrow in surprise. Like it was the most ignorant thing he ever heard. I admit I didn’t sound too convincing.
“Your upset with yourself because you wanted to kiss me.”
I flushed scarlet. He was right. “This power you have, do you use it whenever you see fit?”
Hutch eyes clouded with confusion. “Are you asking me if I had something to do with you wanting to kiss me?”
I nodded. It wasn’t hard to believe. It made sense to think this guy could have whatever he wanted with his capabilities. I wasn’t the kind of girl who jumped into the arms of anyone. I refused to believe I would be so quick to give in to another guy.
It hurt to think of what I almost did. I opened my door and lead Hutch down the hallway. I ran into my dad when I rounded the corner to get to the kitchen.
“Whoa, slow down before you make me spill my coffee, Hope.” Dad’s expression changed as he saw Hutch. “Who is this rather tall guy coming from my daughter’s bedroom?”
I crossed my arms and muttered, “Hutch this is my dad, Dad this is Hutch.”
Hutch extended his hand. I just wanted to get him far away from my house, so I could repent for my sins in the peace and quiet of my bedroom. I felt awful.
While Dad and Hutch chatted about his former whereabouts and his goals while visiting California my phone rang in my pocket. I pulled it free and immediately was bombarded with Karsen’s shrill tone.
“I do not want any objections. You are coming to hang out with Kidd, Slade and I tonight. There will be no Audrey or Erica, and you have no choice in the matter. We will see you in ten minutes.” She ended the call before I could protest. My heart dropped to my feet, and I started to panic.
“Say good-bye, Dad.” I told him, grabbing Hutch’s arm and pulling him to the door. Dad stared flabbergasted I interrupted probably his only manly conversation he participated in in a while.
I released Hutch from my grasp on the porch.
“You’re running me out so quickly. I thought we could finish our conversation. I was serious about helping you.” His fingers skimmed my hair, brushing it off my shoulder. “Promise you’ll consider my offer.”
I looked away. “I can’t promise anything, Hutch. When I’m around you I find myself feeling horrible about myself.”
“Almost kissing me, you mean? Would it be such a bad thing? Or are you just worried you would enjoy yourself?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I moved closer to the door taking hold of the handle. “You shouldn’t be trying to kiss girls with boyfriends.”
He nodded. “What bad could come out of something so wonderful?”
I laughed, amused by his reasoning. “I could think of a few things, like my boyfriend's fist.”
Hutch shrugged. “Consider it. I’m not trying to ruin your relationship with your boyfriend. I hate to see something bad happen to you is all.”
“You have to go. I’ll do my best to consider it.” I waved him away and headed inside. I didn’t understand why Hutch cared about my wellbeing. We were two people from the opposite side of the world. He had morals. While I was running around with the dark side, I didn’t know what to believe, I didn’t know him enough to believe he was genuine.
As I brushed my teeth and dressed, I did my best to shake off the guilt. It was nothing more than a simple infatuation. I didn't go through with anything; I needed to stop worrying about it.
I sighed. It wasn’t simple at all. I was into it. I wanted it. And in that moment, I knew I would have like it—loved it even.
I wished I never met Hutch. I wished I hadn’t come home from college either.
I came out of my bedroom, smoothing my pale pink camisole as I headed to the kitchen, Dad was leaning against the counter polishing an apple.
I sat my purse on the counter and opened the refrigerator.
“You never told me about the boy that was here. Who was he?”
I sighed. I didn’t want to explain Hutch to him. I wanted to forget the night even happened. “He’s just some guy I met on the beach.” I retrieved a bottled water from the refrigerator and shut the door.
“Is there anything you do want to talk about with me,” Dad asked.
I raised an eyebrow, tilting my head back and letting the water slide down my throat.
“Maybe why you’re ignoring your friend and boyfriend and hanging out with this guy. Or why you have a black magic tattoo on your wrist that I never really considered until my house was marked with a pentagram.”
My stomach clenched. “I didn’t know it was black magic. It’s not to me, to me, it’s just a heart.” It was close to the truth.
Dad frowned. “What is going on with you, Hope?”
It irked me that now he wanted to seize the moment to figure out my change of mood, or my lack of socializing. If only he stuck around longer instead of hanging with Lynette, he would see what I was going through.
“Do you want to know the truth?” I whispered, staring down at my feet. “I have never felt more alone than I do right now.”
Dad’s audible sigh didn’t concern me like it might have a couple of months ago. Now I didn’t care if my honesty hurt his feelings. I was sick of worrying about his feelings when mine were being trampled on. Someone needed to look out for mine, and the only person who could do it was me.
“Hope, I’ve never heard you say
something like that before.” Dad’s arms crossed. His eyebrows furrowed in deep concern. “I don’t know what is going on, but why don’t you talk to me?”
“When,” I snapped, “When are you ever around?”
Bright headlights bounced through the door. I grabbed my purse to leave, but Dad stopped me.
“It’s always been you and I. And I always tell you I will be there for you. Maybe that’s not been happening lately, but you have to know I love you, Kid.”
Slade wrapped his fist on the screen interrupting the intense moment. He let himself in. Dad's mood darkened at the sight of Slade.
“How’s it going, Slade?” He said politely.
Slade gave dad a nod and looked at me. “It’s going, Mr. Zigler.”
There was no call me Neil, Dad didn’t like him, and I was sure it would never change. If only he knew what Slade did for his daughter, he wouldn’t be so quick to judge. He wouldn’t be so head over heels in lust with Lynette either I thought to myself.
“I’m going to go,” I said, moving towards the door. There was an awkwardness’ in the air.
“Hope, I want to talk to you. Tomorrow could you fit me in your life maybe?” Dad said.
“I am singing at the café tomorrow. If you’re up early we can talk.” I headed for the door before I started to cry. I hated seeing dad wearing his disappointed expression. One that told me he was not happy with me. But I was in misery.
Kidd and Karsen sat in Kidd’s car waiting on us. I knew Karsen hung back so Slade, and I could get a word in before all of us were immersed in one vehicle.
“How have you been?” Slade said. He kept his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground.
“I’ve been better.” I fidgeted with my fingers. This felt more like a first date than hanging with some of the most cherished people to me.
“We thought you might want to get a bite to eat and hang out at the tour bus for a little while.” Slade informed me. I shook my head. The idea didn’t sound so awful anymore, and it gave me time to explain the latest issues with him.
He pulled the door open for me and let me climb in first.
Karsen turned around in the front seat. She smiled. It was written all over her face, she was happy to see me. “I can’t begin to explain how much I missed you.”
I smiled faintly.
“We all missed Hope didn’t we?” She looked from Kidd to Slade.
Kidd threw a fist in the air; he was being over animated for Karsen. “Hope, it makes my life complete now that you’re here.” He winked at me from the mirror.
I settled back into my seat and buckled up. Karsen giggled, pleased to have someone playing along with her. She twisted around in her seat. Her blue eyes filled with delight. She looked at Slade next. “Slade, tell Hope how much you missed her.”
I glanced at Slade knowing his idea of fun wasn’t hanging around my best friend, but he was obviously doing it for me. Kidd turned the mirror to get a look at Slade. He grinned.
Slade cleared his throat. “Karsen is right. I've missed seeing you.”
I smooth a lock of hair behind my ear, smiling at him. It felt good to hear. He placed his hand over mine, stroking my knuckles with his thumb. My heart sank. It was hard to enjoy the moment when I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss Hutch and I almost shared. It was haunting me.
After eating some Chinese on the boardwalk we all settled in the tour bus. Listening to Slade and Kidd discuss the music they were working on.
I rested against Slade feeling a little tired, but enjoying the normal moment we all were sharing for once. I was glad to hear Karsen’s voice, her contagious laugh. And it was nice to have Slade next to me, stroking my hair discussing what he enjoyed the most—music.
Karsen yawned, “I hate to say it, but I am tired.”
I smirked. “So am I. What time is it?”
Kidd checked his phone, “three in the morning.”
Karsen took me by the hand and gave me that look. The usual look she gave when she wanted to say something. We both scooted out of the booth and went outside. Insects buzzed in the darkness
Karsen hugged her arms around her body trying to dodge the chill. She dropped down taking a seat on the steps. I sat beside her.
“I just wanted to say I was sorry.” She cut to the chase.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m only glad to see you.” I told her, I wasn’t upset anymore I was just relieved to have my best friend back, the friend who always was there for me my entire life.
“I would have never picked her over you. I hope you know that. I don’t know what it was. They have this influence over people. I don’t feel like myself anymore and its starting to disturb me, Hope.” Karsen sighed.
I scratched at my arm unsure what I could say to make her feel any better. “Karsen, Audrey is bad news and the further away you stay the better off you will be.”
Karsen scoffed. “You aren’t kidding. Kidd said Audrey was trying to craft some spell on the entire café that night.”
I wondered what all she knew about that night. “Did he say anything else?”
Karsen leaned into me letting out a yawn. She didn’t get how deep this lifestyle went into the dark side. I wished I could tell her. “He said to stay away from her, that she was up to no good. Something along the lines of it was nothing I needed to concern myself with. You know how boyfriends can be.”
“I wonder what she is up to.” I stared off, at a loss.
“Not sure, however, I do know Slade has been quite miserable without you. Kidd had to force him to hang out with us just tonight. He says he only works on music and tries to get you to speak to him.”
I felt bad. I felt awful for ignoring him after hearing Karsen tell me the misery he was going through. “Life has just been tough. I think I feel better though.”
“Care to talk about it?”
I shook my head. “It’s nothing. You look tired. You should get some sleep. Maybe you can hang out at the café tomorrow.” I squeezed her tight and headed inside. Kidd told me good-bye and took Karsen back to his house, so she could get some beauty rest.
I locked the door behind me and walked down the hall to Slade’s bedroom. I pulled off my sandals and dropped them beside the bed exhausted. Just as I slipped under his covers he appeared in the doorway in nothing but a towel, his body wet and glistening. His tattoos radiant against his tan skin, he was perfect.
Crazed butterflies danced around my stomach as he locked eyes with me, a hint of a smile on his lips as he looked at me.
Slade moved toward the bed, taking my chin and holding me in place. He placed a kiss on my lips making my insides melt, and settled in beside me on the bed tossing the towel to the ground. The thought he was beneath the covers naked made my heart race.
“Your dad seemed upset tonight,” he told me, pulling me into his arms, his hand in my hair stroking it inch by inch
“He’s just worried about me,” I insisted. “He says we don’t talk anymore, but that’s because he’s never around. He’s always with Lynette if he’s not at work.”
Slade studied my bothered expression, his fingers tracing my jaw line as he listened to every word I said.
“I was worried about so many things all at once, and I just lashed out at him.” I moved closer, and he shifted to his back letting me rest on my head on his chest. His thunderous heartbeat echoed in my ear. I stroked his bare skin, trailing a single finger along the tattoos on his arm.
“I’m sure he gets you’re going through a lot. He’s your dad. I can tell he cares about you.” He kissed my temple. “Just like someone else I know.”
I sighed, the guilt nagging my conscience to confess to my wrongdoings. But I didn’t want the moment to be ruined, everything felt right again.
Slade kissed me gently. I reacted for a second and then pulled back. I pressed my head into his forehead letting out a tortured breath of air.
“What’s wrong?” Slade asked for the first time ever. He liked to keep thi
ngs simple. If I didn’t come right out and say it, he wouldn’t bring it up.
“Just a lot on my mind,” I squeezed his arm. “Things I want to explain to you because I think you deserve to hear them.”
Slade sat up. He sighed. “I get you're upset about Audrey. And I don’t want you letting this bother you because we took care of it. Nothing happened to anybody that night at the café. She was toying with you. She wanted to see how far you would go. The girl has issues. She likes to rile everyone up and sit back and watch the fireworks.”
I swallowed, Audrey wasn’t my biggest issue at the moment, and I didn’t believe Slade’s theory either. Audrey had a purpose that day, whether it happened sooner or later, now that was a different story.
“I get why you avoided all of us. I don’t blame you.” He shrugged, leaning in for a kiss. His eyes were sincere, and I could tell he meant every word of it. He brushed his lips against the side of my neck. “But if I have to go another second without touching you, I’m going to lose it. So can we forget all that happened and live for the moment?”
I touched his face. I wasn’t sure it was that easy. “Remember I told you I had lunch with someone?”
Slade scanned my eyes a bit confused at the mention of my lunch date. “Yeah I remember.” Was all he said, he didn’t give me any idea of his feelings about Hutch spending time with me
“How does that make you feel?” I pursed my lips. I was a coward.
“You’re here with me. Why would I care who you ate lunch with?”
“I guess that’s the difference between you and me.” I touched his arm. “I care about that kind of stuff.”
“We care about each other. I like to leave the drama outside of our relationship.” His eyes held mine for a long moment. I weighed my options, I could tell him about the almost kiss that meant nothing to me more than lust and pent up sexual frustration, or I could let it be.