by Tara Lynn
She nodded, slowly. “Yeah, we’re going to Austin.”
I nearly cried in relief. I shook her out of her shock and then we were hugging and bouncing all over.
“Damn, who lit the candles in this place?” A new voice joined in.
Rett pushed through the front door, shutting it as he came in. His red and white varsity jacket glistened from the dim kitchen light. His gaze descended on me, but I could endure only a second before turning away.
He smiled warmly at Maria.
“It’s Maria right?” he said. “What’s that you got in your hand there.”
“You...know my name?” Maria said. She had an awestruck look as if Rett’s attention were a bigger prize than her ticket out of here.
“My stepsister's best bud?” He shrugged. “Hell, I’d noticed you even before.”
Maria gripped the table to keep from melting. I imagined her tumbling and Rett catching her and hoisting her just shy of his lips as he had with me at church.
My ears burned.
Rett took the paper from her and scanned it. “Well, shit, you should be going nuts.”
“Language,” my mom said, though she was still beaming.
“You know this situation warrants it, Lynn.” Rett winked at her.
God, I even flared hot at that. How would I endure when Rett got tired of my rejections and brought someone else home?
But then Rett's attention returned to me. He sauntered right up shoulder to shoulder. His chiseled face seemed to pour heat into mine as he leaned in. “How bout yours?”
“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t want another look.” His voice dulled to a whisper. “To make sure you’re getting what you need.”
All the heat he’d riled up washed out into an uncomfortable moisture in places deep within me.
“Eliza got a full ride,” Mom said, spearing a sheet of paper between us.
Rett grabbed the sheet.
“Full ride.” Rett nodded. “It’s no less than you deserve. You satisfied?”
“Yeah.” My mind found purchase again and I stepped away from him. “Yes. I'm really happy that I can go to Austin.”
“Not waiting for one of those fancy Ivy League schools?”
I glanced at Maria. “No, Austin’s where I need to be.”
“Alright then. Long as you’re sure it’s enough.”
He had a smirk on his face though. He seemed to see what I did: Cause it’s not so far away, girl.
His smile left nothing on my mind but the thought of his lips. Escaping Rett had never been part of the equation, but now it felt like it might have to be. Just one whiff and I was teetering into the comfort of a long lost something. A few months of college classes should cure it.
I hoped.
“I am,” I said.
“We're going to Austin, baby!” Maria yelled out at the ceiling.
I beamed at her. “Are you drunk somehow?” I said. “I have never once seen you like this.”
“Cause I've been saving it.” She grabbed my forearm and rattled me. “Come on! We need to go out and celebrate.”
“You mean CC's diner right?”
Maria's eyelids fluttered. “Well, yeah.”
She looked adorable. I hugged her arm. “Ok, let's go.”
“Hey,” Rett said.
I glanced back.
“You guys have got a serious victory today,” he said. “I’m humbled.”
“Thanks.”
“You sure you don’t want to do more to celebrate? Lot of ways to let loose. Beer, shooting range…other things.”
Subtly he nudged his head at the darkened stairs. If it weren’t for my hands around Maria, I might have been lifted up off my feet. I could just imagine Rett’s hardened face between my legs. “You earned this, girl.”
Nope, nope. My face flushed, but I straightened.
“We'll manage by ourselves,” I said.
I dragged Maria out the door, and shut it behind us. The dry desert breeze blew warm over us. I might have been a bit cool in there. But it was either that or go so warm, I’d be steaming in his room as celebration.
We drove my car out to CC's and went nuts. I'm talking curly fries and regular fries, double-fisting milkshakes, and splurging on cheesecake that we both really knew we had no room left for.
My radio was blasted so high on the way back that at first, the sputtering sounded like the baseline to a song. Off-rhythm, yeah, but not horribly so. But by the time I turned into our street, something was sputtering and wheezing like a drowning cartoon animal. We rode silently for half a block, then turned creaking into my driveway. When I shut the engine, the car wheezed out a final breath.
“That sounded bad,” Maria said.
“It’s not good.” I tried starting again, and there was no sound. This wasn't a battery problem. If it wasn't that, we'd exceeded my knowledge of cars.
“I can pick you up for classes,” Maria said.
“Thanks, honey.” I squeezed her wrist. “When's admit weekend?”
“Two weeks from now.” Maria looked around in a daze. “Is your car going to be ready by then?”
“Honestly, I doubt it.” I sighed. “This thing was dying when I bought it. I can't even imagine the sort of mechanic who would let me ride it without spending more money than I have in repairs.”
“Oh, that sucks.”
“Yeah, I guess we're putting miles on your car to get there.”
Maria's eyes were wide. “Oh, Liza. You know I'm not going right?”
“What?!”
“I have work that weekend. Same as every weekend.”
“But...you have a full ride and a stipend.”
“I do, but it won't cover my family. I still need to help them out.”
I shook my head. This girl was a saint. And also a total flake. But mostly a saint. And also how could she abandon me?
“I...I'm sorry,” I said.
“Sorry?” she chuckled. “It’s fine – I’m sure the school is great. I'm just sorry I can't be a better friend.”
“Are you kidding me? You’re the best.” I stared out the window, rapping the wheel.
“So how are you going to get there?” Maria asked.
“No freakin idea. My mom bikes to work. My stepdad gets rides from his friends for anything.”
“And your stepbrother?”
I followed her gaze to the dark, limp chopper roosting next to us on the driveway.
“Oh, no,” I said.
“Why not? He seemed sweet.”
“Like diabetes,” I said.
All I could picture was him saying: Oh I can give you a ride, alright.
Three hours perched on his back, straddling him? My body was betraying me even at the idea.
“Well, hopefully, your car is easy to fix,” Maria said, patting my shoulder.
****
It wasn't.
Rett stood hunched over the wide handlebars, wearing his thick, dark jacket and round shades. Even seated and spread, he looked powerful and imposing. The seat behind him was impossibly small.
I was going to be wrapped up into him.
He glanced back, grinned and ticked his head at the bike.
“Come on, let’s get out of here.”
I tugged my backpack straps firmly. I could do this. All I had to do was keep my eyes forward.
“I’m ready.” I slid on the seat behind him. “Thanks for driving.”
“No problem at all.” He reached back, pulled me tighter. “Hold on, we’re in for a long ride.”
“Don’t get any ideas. You’ll be disappointed.”
“Well, then at least I’ll have the ideas to keep me warm at night.”
He pulled my arms to lace around him. I felt his heart pump against my own chest.
He kicked the motor to life and my whole body felt like it might vibrate apart. Rett was the only solid thing, and I gripped tighter.
“Mmm,” his content rumbled th
rough his chest. “There we go.”
We kicked out of the driveway and started speeding off to my future, my hands held firmly around the one guy who wanted to keep me in the past.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Everett
I roared into the rest stop and cut the engine by a pump. The tank had enough for the ride there and back, but Liza looked like she was running on empty.
I helped her off. She didn't even scowl at my hand on hers. She steadied herself at the pump and shook out her knees and shrugged her shoulders. I’d suggested covering up against the wind for the ride, and she’d been keen to oblige, with a lumpy brown long sleeve shirt and jeans. It still left plenty of her form to admire as she went through the motions. Her hair was pinned down by a flat headband, but the wind had frayed it in a way that made her look she'd just gotten out of bed.
I just wanted to gather her and haul us off somewhere dark and private, but this wasn’t the time or spot. Sure, I’d noticed the hardened shell she put back up, but the thing had more cracks than a woodshed in a tornado. She wanted to look past the MC stuff, and she would again given half the chance.
I got so distracted it took a couple tries to get the pump into the gas tank. She noticed.
“You really shouldn’t get any ideas,” she said, from the corner of her eye.
“That's like telling Picasso not to paint.”
“In what way are you like Picasso?”
“I'm an artist. My canvas just happens to be the female form. You remember.”
She didn’t even blush. “I remember making lots of mistakes. That’s how I learn from them.”
If she thought that would end it, she was wrong. “Some mistakes don’t need fixing,” I said. “They’re just who you are.”
Her answer took awhile. When it came, it came in hard. “Is that what you tell yourself to keep wearing that MC leather?”
My mouth moved a few times before my voice caught hold. That, I hadn’t expected.
“Insulting your only ride in the middle of nowhere – pretty bold.”
“Well, my brain's come loose from all that rumbling. I just want to remind us why we are who we are before we forget.”
I smiled. Even she seemed to realize she'd let out more than she'd wanted.
“Don't worry,” I said. “Like you said, I was only getting ideas. I'll paint them on someone else.”
Her calm evaporated like water sizzling on metal. Her eyes sank to blue coals. It took her just a moment to recover, but it was enough to leave me beaming and satisfied. She stalked off into the gas station store.
She wasn't past me. That was almost enough.
Almost.
I just want to remind us why we are who we are.
All this week, I’d been floating in a dream, as if my cut and my bike were something to look past. As if a couple nights inside Liza changed any of it. But I was still me. I’d still done what I’d done.
I could crave Eliza, but it didn’t unmake the past. Even the present only complicated things. Our parents might be fooled or looking away, but the town would not. One careless gesture at school, and both our names would come crashing down into the dirt. Mine, maybe deeper.
For a moment, I cut through the lust and saw this as the lost cause it was. Hell, I was driving this girl to her new college campus. She'd be out of my life for good in a few months.
The last thing I should be doing was fucking up her new life by earning her a rep here as some inbred rural hick fucking her own family. Austin was a big city, and it'd been weeks since I'd slept with Eliza. I should take my own advice and seek fertile grounds elsewhere.
Liza came back out though, ruffling out her light hair, and a cloud of desire suffocated other thoughts.
She held a coffee energy drink. She downed half as she walked back to the bike.
“Looks good,” I said. “Where's mine?”
“Why would I buy you a drink?”
“Cause you aren't the one spending a weekend driving to a city you don't have to.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I offered to pay for that. You refused.”
“It’s not payment. I’m just the one who’s got to keep us cruising.”
She looked guilty a moment then handed me the rest of her drink. I tasted her strawberry lips before the coffee came and washed it away.
“Here,” I said after a sip. “I'm good.”
“Take more,” she said. “My offer of payment can only be redeemed in cash and coffee.”
I took a long look up and down her. “Don’t worry, I’ve had my fill. You ready?”
She sighed grimly at the bike. “I don’t think my legs will be functional at this rate, but yeah, I'm ready.”
I strode on and she climbed behind, lacing her delicate hands around my waist. Her head came down on my back, and I felt mighty. My chopper felt like some dark steed, and I was a knight rescuing a princess. Many a girl had ridden holding me like this, but only Eliza had the power to transform me.
Not permanently, but at least for a moment.
I tore out of the lot and back onto the desert highway. Brushland bloomed all around, red earth and sturdy green shrubs. The sun and the wind fought over my jacket temperature, but through it all, I felt the steady heat coming from the girl wrapped around me.
It was just an hour or so before the desert changed to farms and the Austin city limits began to show. We passed shaded, green suburbs probably wealthier than all of Loving put together. I rounded the wide highway that looped the city and blew past shopping centers full of stores, each bigger than our downtown.
Liza seemed to cling tighter to my back. I slowed down, but her grip remained tighter than ever. It wasn’t my speed. It was Austin.
It was a whole other world out here. What gave us strength in Loving didn’t count here. My chopper counted for nothing among all the fancy German and electric cars alongside me – it probably made me seem like dirt. My wicked hurl in high school was practically little league to the sort of teams that played out here.
I almost felt worse for Liza. I got to head back home. Liza’d be stuck here soon, all on her own.
The UT-Austin campus was smack dab in the city center. I stopped at more signs and lights on the way than I had in the past year, and then I ran smackdab into a wall of traffic, all headed to do the same thing I was – though none in as much style. The campus buildings rose like a fort all along the street. We turned into a thin one-way with trees shading us overhead and either sidewalk jam-packed with college kids.
“Pull over here,” Liza yelled over the engine.
“Phone says we're not there,” I growled back.
“I can walk.”
I chuckled. “You sure about that?”
But she edged me sideways. I got why. My steed was already getting stray looks. She'd make one hell of a first impression on her new classmates if I rolled up with her on this. I cut through a sea of SUVs and stopped by the curb next to a sidewalk full of gawking kids.
Liza got off without my help and stood swaying and patting herself down.
“I think I may puke,” she said.
“You're already ahead of the curve. Most of the other kids won't be getting around to that till later tonight.”
She smiled uneasily. “Thanks, that was almost sweet.”
“Well, you seemed to enjoy my more direct sugarcane. I thought I'd try an eased back version.”
She rolled her eyes, then pulled off her dark long sleeve top. The loose yellow blouse underneath rose but a strap had slipped down her shoulder. My breath caught at the sight of just her bare shoulder. I lifted the strap back in place with a finger.
Liza slapped it away, looking extra cross. “People are watching.”
“They don't know who we are,” I said.
“Yeah, well, I do.” She took a brush to her hair to make it less sexy.
I enjoyed her and she looked at me.
“Well, this is it,” she said after she finished. “You can go.”
/> “You ready?”
“No, but you're not helping.”
“If you're tense, there are ways I can fix it.”