by Tara Lynn
“You could have stopped at a taste, but it’s not just my body you came looking for, it’s me. You need me. If you keep forgetting, I can remind you why.”
She lay mute a moment. “Needing you doesn’t change anything.”
I didn't know how much of what I'd said really rang true. Maybe she really had seen enough of the school. Maybe I was just her ride. Maybe last night was just a moment where we stepped out of time.
It didn't matter. Not a bit of the last three years mattered anymore. Not how broken I was, not how doomed this would be.
I fucking needed her, too. If the truth got out and buried my honor with shame, it would just be the end of a story that started long ago. I became who I was to save her. I’d hold onto her as long as I could. Even if the end of us destroyed me.
I looked at the soft rise of her breasts again and my entire body hardened. She’d started this, but I would end it. We would not leave this bed until I took possession of her, fully and for all the time we had left together.
I sank down on her breast again, sucking the flesh in deep. Her hand grabbed my hair again, but I grabbed a lush handful of her other other breast and stroked her nipple, as I flicked this one with my tongue.
“Rett,” she said, but even that broke off in a sigh. Her hands pushed against me, but it was all show. They fell weakly, and then she was mine to consume. I set upon her like a feast I only had moments to enjoy.
“Oh god.” Her voice rasped in my ears. “What are you doing to me?'
“Making sure you don't fucking disappear from my life,” I stopped to say, before sinking to take a deeper mouthful.
Her words fell to lust after that, a clench-lipped hum that ran from her chest directly to me. Her body started moving under my hot wet attention, shifting the sheets restlessly. My cock felt like it might burst, as the heat of her entrance wafted over it.
I needed to be inside her so god damn bad.
I kissed up her chest and her neck to her mouth. She sought me hungrily and we tore at each other with unbound intensity. She gasped whenever our lips broke, as if breathing was less important than my body.
“Spread your legs, baby,” I said.
“Mmm.” Still kissing, her thigh struck out. I shifted in between, looking down. The heat of her body was unbearable. It had to be part of me. We needed to be together, but I wanted more than simple flesh. I wanted it all.
“Are you mine?” I said, teasing her entrance with my cock. “Is this all mine?”
“Yeah,” she moaned.
“Tell me it's mine.”
“It's yours, Rett. It's all yours. God, just fucking get inside me.”
I slipped into her without an itch of resistance. I slid deep, time vanishing under the pleasure of being inside the one girl that deserved to be my past, present and future. I landed far inside – a ship returning home – and sank down until we lay skin on skin.
She kissed me hastily, then sank her lips to my ears. “Fuck me,” she said. “Please.”
I gathered her in my arms and began to obey. I ran easily in and out the length of her, parting her wider with each stroke, landing deeper and deeper. She gasped unendingly in my ear, a thin wail of breath, breaking to a nail scratching whimper at the end of each thrust.
It didn't stop being a miracle, this return to her. Our bodies erupted with sweat and I slid against her faster, holding her ever tighter, feeling every inch of her gorgeous, lush body.
The pleasure bloomed down below, but I tightened myself inside, held off and sped up. I could die doing this, enmeshed in her limbs, the only cage that I would never regret. How had I ever let this fall away? We could have had years of this. Maybe it would have changed our future, too.
The thoughts fell in the distance, distant winds compared to the feel of coming back to my girl.
Her voice rose and broke in my ears. Her legs wrapped around my back, fastening herself to me and she shattered, shaking as she came.
I kissed her through it and kept fucking her. One orgasm would not erase what had been worn away over the years. The A/C turned on as if the world wanted to douse out fire. I pulled the sheets up and bundled into her.
She came again and once more, and that finally shook me loose. I twitched below and just in time, I pulled out and shot hot and wet along her stomach. We kissed through it, and then finally, I fell defeated at her side.
Liza grabbed a tissue from the side table, wiped herself clean and rushed in to cuddle with me. She kissed me on the nose and tucked her head under mine.
“Tell me what you are,” I said.
“I'm yours,” she panted.
“Good,” I said, gripping her tight. We lay there, breathing into each other, sweating but comfortable.
“What are we going to do when we get back?” she said into my chest.
“Be together,” I said. “That's all that matters.”
“I know, but how? We can't be too open. Even at home, our parents are always there.”
I stroked her hair, thick and knotty with sweat.
“Then you will just have to make a lot less noise,” I said.
She giggled into my skin. My world reduced to the room, shockingly clear as if she had paddled me back to life after years of living with a dead heart.
I nudged her chin up and tasted her with a kiss. We drew the sweat off each other for minutes, utterly quenched.
Then the tip of her breasts budged me. I snapped alert.
I flipped Liza over on her stomach and climbed on.
“Don't worry now,” I said. “Check out's not for hours.”
I slid into her from behind, ground her into the mattress, and set to work making our last moments away from gravity count.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Eliza
The sun was setting when the engine cut off between my legs. It had blazed down on me the entire ride here. My arms were burned, my hair loomed over me like a tumbleweed and my body felt like it might just split down the middle if I got up.
But I couldn't remember the last time the world looked so golden.
Everett kicked up the stands of the motorcycle, but I just sat there, holding him, sweeping my hands up and down his padded muscles. So much power sat contained under that leather. I’d endured all of it: been pounded into the bed, hammered into the air, crushed against his body. I’d screamed myself hoarse so loudly that the cops might have come in. They’d just find two people remembering how to be free. In Austin, we belong to each other and no one else.
The sweet, sexy boy I once knew had become something mighty, dangerous almost. He touched, tasted or invaded every inch of me, but deep down he still wanted the same thing. Even when we had sweated ourselves to ashes, even when his lips were parched, they still came looking for mine.
He didn’t just want my body. He wanted me.
We’d almost missed checkout.
Now, this house stood silent over us, the windows like dark, shocked eyes. No one’s face appeared in them though, so I lingered. I rubbed my cheek against Rett's broad back, sniffed in the thick oil smell. Everett stroked my thigh, his warm fingers strong even through my jeans.
Finally, I climbed off. He peered up at the windows for just a second and snatched another kiss from me with his rough lips.
“Come on,” I said. “Let's get inside.”
“Inside the house, or inside you?”
“One, then maybe the other.”
He chuckled roughly. His smile didn't lift so high on those cliff cheek bones though, but only cause I had worn him out, too.
“You sure I don’t have to worry about you trying to forget?” he said.
“You don’t. But I’m up for a quick reminder.”
“You don't even care about our parents?”
“Their car's not home.” I pointed at the blank TV room. “It's time for my mom's reality shows. If that TV's not on, she's out. And your dad is always at the bar this time of day.”
It was suppose to excite him, but Rett's
face dropped. “Yeah, he’ll be trying to forget what a waste of a life he’s got to get to tomorrow,” he said.
“Well, he has my mom. And who cares what they do? You have me. Come on, let's start being together in our home.”
His eyes lit brighter than the sun at his back. He hooked me with an arm and crushed me with a kiss. We stood a moment, forehead to forehead.
“God, I missed you,” he said.
“I already miss you,” I whispered.
“Let’s fix that.”
He got off, and we went to the door. As I unlocked it though, his phone started buzzing. He glanced at it and his mood descended to midnight.
“Gang stuff?”
He fumbled for words, but his broad shoulders sagged. “Yeah,” he said.
My heart sank, but more from the lost chance to be with him, than what he was headed to do. I had no energy for past or future. “Will you be back tonight?”
“I don’t know, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.”
He looked at me as if he’d just shot me. Any irritation snuffed out. I threaded my hand through his. “It’s ok. Be safe. Don’t do anything that would keep you away too long. I’m here, remember?”
He kissed me so hard it might have left a brand. “Don't worry. It’s nothing dangerous. I'll come back to you.”
Rett hopped back on his motorcycle, glanced back with a last dulled look and rode off.
The heat building in my core let out slowly. Even then, my mind sat blissfully calm looking out at the empty street Rett had just burned out of. He’d been summoned, as surely as metal drawn to a magnet. I didn’t understand the forces at work that made his life, but I knew at least what he wanted.
He wanted to be with me.
I went inside up to my room and plopped on the bed. The ceiling was white and plain, except for the flimsy dome light. Lit up, it looked like a solitary headlight.
It was only eight, but my eyes dimmed watching it. Next thing I knew it was four in the morning and the ceiling light sat useless against the light coming from outside.
My bed was empty. No mountain range of Rett sturdy at my side, not even a note.
I checked Rett's room. His bed looked as perfectly done as a coffin interior. He hadn't come home.
It was a Monday. I had to go to class in a few hours, but my chest felt tight. None of it mattered anyway. Sure I had more AP tests, but I was already in UT-Austin. Everett was the only unfinished spot on my canvas. I texted him as I got ready, and couldn't stop tapping my feet until he responded sometime in second period.
I'm ok. Don't worry, baby.
An embarrassing warmth filled me at that last word. Baby. Like I was his to take care of. But as the day went on, the word kept spinning in my mouth.
Baby. Was this what my future held? Me like some worse version of a soldier’s wife, waiting to see if he’d come home alive.
Even after that thought, I still ached for him.
I also ached in general, courtesy of the weekend rides. But even through the doubt and actual pain, there was no question I wanted to be with him. Whatever was me before this weekend had shattered. I’d built this vision in my head of who I’d be in college, but I could barely remember the girl who’d come up with that plan. Maybe UT-Austin had woken me from my dream. Definitely the night that followed had a role. That whole big future came crashing down.
Suddenly, it seemed fine to just be who I was now. Who I’d been before my stepfather tore a hole in my life. I could always dig deep and find him, but I didn’t have to search, I didn’t have to run. I could just focus on what I wanted here and now.
If only Rett could, too. Every time I thought of his face last evening, I knew he wanted nothing more than me. So what was really stopping him from telling the MC gang to go screw itself?
Maria wasted no time cornering me at lunch.
“Where have you been all day?” she asked, slapping her tray full of salad down across the table from me. “Jeez, one trip to Austin and you forget all about me?”
“I didn't forget you,” I said. “I was just tired.”
She looked on expectantly. I might have changed, but Maria was still the same old girl in a humble blue blouse and jeans, her dark hair falling just past her ear, bright and eager as ever.
“So?” she said. “How was the weekend?”
“Fun. Really fun.” That much was definitely true.
“How? Did they make you all take a test and call you on stage when you got the best score?”
“Ha ha. Very funny, coming from the freaking second in the class.”
“I'm all natural talent.” Maria fluttered her shoulders. “You’re the crazy workaholic. I can only imagine your idea of fun.”
“I know how to have fun. Remember that time we went to that concert in Lubbock?”
“Two years ago! You can’t keep using that one story forever. If we hang out it’s mostly working on college stuff.”
“Well, that’s done, so now I can focus on other things in my life.”
“There’s other things in life? Please tell me more.”
Her tan face glowed as warm as ever, but I felt cornered. Thank god I had never had gossip before. Her composure could slice it out of me.
“The weekend was nothing special. They did, you know, what they said they'd do. Campus tour. A sample class with different professors. Meeting other students.”
I ate my chicken sandwich, but Maria had started to smile.
“What?” I said.
“Meeting other students.”
“Yeah.”
“Who exactly did you meet?”
“What? Just other kids from around Texas.”
“Were some of them...guys?”
My face glowed hot before I could even control it. “What are you talking about?” I sputtered.
It was too late. Maria dug into her salad happily. “I knew it,” she said.
“You don't know anything.”
“No? You want to tell me about him?”
I choked for words. “About who?”
It wouldn't have fooled a toddler.
“About the guy you met?”
“Why do you think there's a guy?”
“I'm practically the only person at this school who you ever talk to, but we talk all the time. Now, you go two days into a future we’re both headed to together, and you don't want to gush over every little detail? Something distracted you and I know it's not school work.”
She was veering way too close to the truth. All she had to do was take down one little barrier in her brain and it would become horrifyingly clear just who I would have been closest to all weekend.
But then again, normal people never thought about crossing that wall.
“I talked to lots of people,” I said. “Guys and girls.”
“And who did you spend the most time talking to?”
“No one in particular.”
It was true. Everett and I hadn't really said much. But those few words just made me glow even hotter.
“Ok, fine.” Maria shrugged. “I won't tell you about what happened to me this weekend.”
“What happened? You met someone here?”
Maria's face lit up. “Ah, so I’m definitely on the right track.”
My hand was stuck so deep in the honey jar.
“Oh, whatever.” I grumbled and chewed on my sandwich. “It’s nothing.”
“What happened?” Maria said.
I hoped my ears didn’t burn as red as they felt. “Nothing that matters. It can’t go anywhere anyway.”
The words mingled too well with my worries. What exactly could happen between me and Everett? I’d been so worried about Rett’s life in the MC, I forgot the stepbrother bit. Lying at home didn’t matter, but lying to the rest of the world? Maria knew our past, and I still felt dirty thinking about telling her.
She stopped crunching salad and cupped my empty hand though. “It's fine. You don't have to tell me. I'm just glad you're thinking about guys a
gain.”
She glowed with genuine warmth. That was the thing about Maria. She knew how to cut deep, but she also knew how to back off if I wasn’t prepped for surgery.
It was nice having her as distraction, cause classes after passed like molasses. I couldn’t focus one bit – I shivered with feelings as if they’d been let out of a tight cage.