“Well, you’re just going to have to be patient with me. You’ll know in due time.”
“That’s not fair. I’ll explode if I don’t know.”
“If you do explode, Shaneta, don’t do it on my front porch. It’ll make a mess.”
She shot him a menacing look.
Feeling a little playful, he asked her, “Speaking of secrets, what were you doing just now at Raddie’s place?”
“Nothing.”
“Your face looks a little flushed. Everything okay?”
“I have to go.” She turned toward the golf cart, which she had parked in Lee’s driveway. “He's helpless. That man is helpless. I don’t know how he exists from day to day.” Her voice trailed off as she neared the cart.
Lee waved to her as she scooted down the driveway and out onto the road to the guesthouse before he jumped into his own car and drove to the far southeast corner of his property.
When he got to the locale, Lee found several pieces of earth-moving equipment clearing and leveling the land. The acrid odor of disturbed dirt smelled sweet. Without getting out of his car, Lee waved to the foreman.
“If this weather keeps up, they’ll be able to pour the foundation next month,” the man shouted.
“That’s great! The sooner the better.” Lee smiled and drove home. “Thank you, Father,” he whispered to the heavens, hoping Nelson Sambourg would have approved of how forty-five of his coins were being spent, especially since his mother had told him he and his father before him had grown the collection, not cashed any of it in.
As he headed west down Attenberg Road, he saw Shaneta driving the golf cart down the dirt road as fast as it would go, toward Dr. Rad’s place, bouncing up and down in the seat, her sweater and scarf streaming out behind her. He watched her disappear into the grove of trees that blocked his view of the lab.
Lee drove twenty-five miles to the Rockford Public Library where he spent the rest of the day in the business-book section. He needed to learn as much as he could about marketing, advertising, merchandising, and small-business management for the unfamiliar arena he was about to enter.
* * *
The first Christmas Eve in his new house shifted some of Lee’s attention away from business development to preparations for a Christmas Eve gathering for their “makeshift family,” as Shaneta called them—Dr. Rad, CJ and her sons, Francine, and Bennett. They decorated the house in traditional American and Jamaican holiday style, complete with a fifteen-foot northern white pine tree Lee had cut down from a small grove at the back of his property. They placed the tree in the living room, in front of the two-story bay of windows.
By the time everyone arrived, Lee’s home was fragrant with a mixture of pine needles and potpourri. After enjoying a savory feast prepared by Shaneta, they all exchanged presents and listened to her tell stories of her childhood Christmases in Jamaica.
The guests started leaving close to nine o’clock. Bennett lingered behind, and when everyone had left, told Lee the latest news about his marriage.
“She’s filed for divorce.”
“You knew that was coming.”
“Yes. I knew, but being served with the papers made it real.”
“And the kids?”
“The children,” he corrected him, “will be living with her, and I’ll have visitation rights.”
“At least she’s not denying you that.”
“Let her try.”
“Are you two at least able to be civil to each other?”
“I am, but she’s too bitter right now. Hopefully, that will change with time.”
“What’s she got to be bitter about?”
“She claims I didn’t turn out to be the man she thought I was, that somehow I falsely presented myself to get her to marry me.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“You know Daphne’s family.”
“Not really.”
“Her father is a big oil tycoon, and her mother hobnobs with the Kennedys. She’s used to living high and being seen with important people, and she thought she was getting that with me.”
“She did get that, didn’t she?”
“In the beginning...until I started to see the light and realized I was really someone other than just a Winekoop.”
“Speaking of them, what do you know about what’s going on at the house?”
“With Mother and Father?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know what’s going on, but it seems there’s an awful lot of tension there lately.”
“I haven’t talked to her since she said she was going to tell him that I know everything. Maybe that conversation took place.”
“Well, that would do it,” Bennett said.
* * *
It wasn’t like Mother to not return phone calls. Lee had left three messages for her over ten days and was becoming worried enough to consider driving out to Evanston to check on her.
Finally, she called him back.
“I know you’ve been calling, but I didn’t want to call you while Henry was still here. He’s out of town on business now, so...”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is okay.”
“It doesn’t sound like it.”
“I’m just tired.”
“Tired physically or emotionally?”
“A little of both, I suspect.”
“How was Christmas?”
She sighed. “It was tolerable, I suppose.”
“What do you mean?”
“I told Henry about our conversations.”
“And?”
“And he reacted the way I expected.”
“Not well?”
“No, dear.”
“What did he say?” Despite the pain of it, Lee wanted to know.
“It doesn’t matter, Lee.”
“It matters to me.”
His mother didn’t speak.
“I know this is hard on you too. Believe me, I do. But keep in mind I grew up under that man’s rejection and lived under a veil of lies from everyone who knew that I was another man’s son. And if you don’t think that had an adverse effect on me, and to a degree still does, you’re mistaken. I deserve to at least be told the truth now, the whole truth, don’t you think?” He had never spoken to his mother in that tone before.
His mother remained silent.
“Are you there, Mother?”
“Yes, I’m here.” Her voice was softer than usual, her tone conciliatory. “And you are right on both counts. Yes, this is hard on me. And you deserve to know the whole truth. But now I’m tired and need to—”
“Please don’t do this to me. Whenever you don’t want to talk about something, you need to lie down. Pull up a chair, take a deep breath, and talk to me.” He waited several seconds. “What did Henry say when you told him I knew?”
“He said...” She fell silent.
“Mother, if I was standing in front of you, I’d want to shake you right now. Just tell me.”
“He said he’s glad the whole...thing is over and...”
“Tell me the word he used. He didn’t say thing, did he?” He waited for her to respond, and when she didn’t, he said, “I can come over there, and we can finish this discussion in person.”
“He called it a farce.”
“What else did he say?”
“He took you out of his will, but I—”
“What else?”
“He questioned some of your skills.”
“Mother.”
“What?”
“What did he call me?”
“A loser. There, now I’ve said it. Are you happy?”
What Lee heard next was a sob and the sound of her hanging up the phone. He called her right back.
The cook answered the phone.
“Winekoop residence.”
“Bryah, this is Lee. Put Mother back on, would you please?”
“She’s gone to her room, Mister Lee.”
“Please g
o get her, and tell her if she doesn’t come to the phone, I’m going to drive out there.”
“Yes, sir.”
Lee waited several minutes, and when his mother got on the phone, he could barely hear her.
“I’m not a very strong person, Lee. I thought you knew that.”
“Don’t fool yourself, Mother. I suspect you’re a lot stronger than you think. That’s my opinion, anyway. Look, I’m sorry I pushed you so hard, but at this point in my life, I have to know the truth, no matter how heinous it is. I need that in order to move on. Otherwise, it’s like carrying around a live hand-grenade in my back pocket. Pull the pin for me, Mother. Let me panic over it for a few seconds, and then I’ll throw it as far as I can so as not to be threatened by it anymore.”
“I’m not sure I like your choice of metaphors, but I do understand what you’re saying. But what you need to understand about Henry is—”
“No, I don’t have to understand anything when it comes to him.” He struggled to keep his voice soft and calm. “All he cares about is himself. And what bothers me the most is he has no sympathy for me, the innocent victim in all this. He’s nothing but a callous, self-absorbed human being, and I doubt he’ll ever change. Honestly, I don’t know how you can stay with him.”
“Well, that could change.”
“How’s that?”
“Bringing this all out in the open has been a turning point in our lives.”
“How so?”
“It was one thing when we were pretending about...well, about you. Now that we don’t have to do that anymore, well, our relationship isn’t the same. In some ways, I think the lies were what held our marriage together.”
“Do you hear what you just said?”
“Yes, and now that I’ve said it out loud, I must admit it sounds rather absurd.”
“So what are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know, son.” Her voice was barely audible. “I’m just waiting to see what happens.”
“Mother, may I impart some wisdom I acquired during the past few years?”
Her sigh could be heard over the phone. “Yes, of course.”
“If you keep letting things happen to you, you’ll always be channeling someone else’s course. Believe me, when I figured that out, I was a much stronger person, a much happier person. I’ll take it one step further—I became my own person.” He hadn’t thought about it in those terms before, and he didn’t know which made him more proud—the fact he had become his own person or the realization of what had given rise to it.
“That’s easier, dear, when you’re young. But look at me. I—”
“That’s just an excuse.” He paused, unsure how far to take this argument, given how much he had already said. “Let me ask you something. What are you most afraid of?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’ve spent your whole life with him trying to keep things on an even keel instead of living your own life. You’ve lived that way for so long, you don’t know how things could be any different. Why have you done that? What are you afraid of?”
She hesitated. “That he’ll leave me, I suppose.”
“So?”
“And I need him.”
“For what?” He didn’t let her respond. “All I’m saying is you create your own happiness by the choices you make. If you rely completely on others, you’ll never have it, at least not in the true sense of happiness.”
“I’m sure you’re right, dear.” She stayed silent for several seconds. “Maybe I’ll have Charles drive me to the lake house for a few days. If I do, could we spend some time together?”
“Of course, Mother. I’d like that.”
* * *
Lee arrived at CJ’s New Year’s Day party at four o’clock, followed by Shaneta and Dr. Rad and then Francine and Bennett. The women worked in the kitchen while the men chatted in the living room. CJ’s sons spent much of the time in their bedroom watching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off on the video-cassette recorder Lee had bought them for Christmas.
Lee, Bennett, and Dr. Rad were discussing the new multifaceted business model Lee had created based on insight he had gained from the owner of Deer Bottom Inn, when the phone rang. Lee heard CJ answer it.
“What? You’re kidding,” she said. “When? No way. How long do you think?” She emerged from the kitchen, her face flushed.
She talked fast, in a hushed voice. “They arrested Bern last night. Caught him with over a hundred pounds of pot and stolen guns in his basement. Hauled his ass off in handcuffs. The feds, not the local police. Don’t say anything to the boys. Not yet.”
Travis and Wayne emerged from their bedroom.
“Boys, go wash up. We’ll be eating soon.”
“We just did.”
“Go do it again.”
CJ ran toward the kitchen and came back with a bottle of champagne. “I was going to serve this after dinner to toast in the new year, but I feel like doing it now.” She poured everyone a glass.
All eyes were on Lee, who worked hard to appear as surprised as everyone else.
The boys entered the living room holding up their hands to show their mother they were clean. “How come everybody stops talking whenever we come into the room?” Wayne asked.
“Dinner’s ready, boys. Go sit down at the table,” CJ told them.
Dinner included roast turkey, garlic mashed potatoes, seasoned green beans, and hot buttered biscuits. Nothing fancy—just plain old down-home cooking, something Lee had never experienced until his first visit to the local diner, Miss Sally’s, but had subsequently come to love. The adults kept the conversation focused on the food, but Lee knew it was CJ’s announcement that was on everyone’s mind.
After dinner, CJ assigned clean-up chores to her sons and then joined the others in the living room.
Francine spoke first. “Who called?” she asked in a whisper.
“Dick, at Deer Bottom. He overheard some of the off-duty cops talking about it in the bar this afternoon, so he didn’t have many details. They said it was the biggest pot bust in the history of McHenry County.”
“I wonder how they got on to him. And why the feds?” Francine asked.
CJ shrugged and turned to Bennett. “Do you know why the feds would be involved?”
“Could have something to do with him transporting it over state lines,” he responded.
“CJ, you look like you’re over the moon about this. But how do you really feel when you think about it?” Francine asked. “After all, he is—”
“We’re done, Mom,” Travis said.
“Good job, boys. It’s almost eight o’clock, and you have school tomorrow. Time for bed.”
“Tomorrow’s Saturday, Mom.”
“Never mind. You still need the rest.”
“But, Mom…”
Their discussion resumed once the boys were out of earshot.
“I am over the moon,” CJ said. “I hope he’s locked up for a long, long time—father or no father.”
“How long could he get, Bennett?” Lee asked.
“If the feds were involved, it’s a big deal. A Class 4 felony under federal law? We’re probably talking several years at least.”
“I feel like I can breathe again,” CJ said.
“Any chance he’ll get off? He is a sheriff,” Lee asked Bennett.
“I doubt it. They can get away with a lot locally, but not with the feds involved.”
CJ smiled. “Serves him right. He deserves what he gets. More champagne, anyone?” she asked.
Lee was the last to leave. CJ followed him out onto the porch. “Hey,” she said with her arms wrapped around herself against the cold evening air. “So did you have anything to do with it?”
“With what?”
“You know what.”
“Goodnight, CJ. Thanks for dinner, and happy new year!”
* * *
Lee called CJ the following day. “How are you feeling, now that it’s had time to sink in?” He kn
ew deep down he had done the right thing, but he needed reassurance just the same.
“I slept better last night than I’ve slept in years. Does that answer your question?”
“What about the boys? Have you said anything to them?”
“I had to. I didn’t want them to hear it from some kid in school, so I told them this morning.”
“How did you explain it to them?”
“I told them he did something illegal and may have to spend some time in jail for it.”
“How did they react?”
“They pretty much just accepted it. Wayne gave me a kiss on the cheek afterwards, and Travis wanted to know what was for lunch.”
“How are you?”
“I’m happy. Look, he did the crime, so now he must pay. It has nothing to do with me. I just get to reap the benefit of being able to go to sleep each night with both eyes shut.”
“CJ?”
“What.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, Soc. Thanks for whatever you had to do with it, ‘cause I know you did. And so does Frankie.”
“Why? What did she say?”
“Nothing. Just on her way out last night with Bennett, she said—”
“Ha. You say that like they came together.”
“They did.”
“What?”
“You didn’t know?”
“Know what?”
“That they came together.”
“What?”
“Do we have a bad connection or something?”
“No, I heard you. Bennett and Francine came to your house yesterday together? As in what?”
“As in he got in his car. He drove to her house. He knocked on the—”
“Don’t be a smart ass.”
“Okay. All I know is he and Frankie have been talking, on the phone mostly, about whatever they have in common with Sam Wheland and other stuff, I guess. And then he asked her if she wanted him to pick her up for my dinner party. And she said, ‘Sure.’”
“Hmm. He never mentioned it to me. I feel a little left out.”
“You shouldn’t. There’s really nothing to it.”
After they hung up, Lee called Bennett on the pretext of asking him how the roads had been when he drove home from CJ’s the previous night.
“I didn’t know you and Francine had come together,” he said after their small talk.
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