“That was the plan,” he admits, smirking at me. “So you would be in my bed every night and wake up in my arms every morning.”
“Well, let’s do it, then.”
“Seriously? A few hours ago, you thought I was using you, and now you want to move in with me?”
“A few hours ago, I almost let the rumors around here destroy the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Now I’m taking control of my life and my future.”
The moment he agreed, we really gave the office something to talk about. If they thought he was using me for sex, they were at least going to think I was enjoying myself.
We didn’t really have sex in his office, but we had a lot of fun making really loud noises and shaking furniture. And on my way out, I made sure to stop by Ally’s desk and give her the good news. It would be common knowledge by the end of the day.
“Done, Mama,” Amara announces, pushing a half-empty box of stuffed animals into the living room.
“Are those all the toys you’re taking?” I ask, reaching into the box and pulling out her favorite stuffed unicorn.
“I don’t want to pack anymore. Can I leave everything else here?”
Laughing, Vinnie takes her by the hand and walks her back into her room to help her pack. It’s not long before I hear her giggling uncontrollably. I have a feeling they’re not getting as much accomplished as they need to.
No matter. Ryder can help her when he gets here.
Speaking of…
He’s making a major life change next weekend.
Emerson doesn’t know it yet, but Ryder’s planning on proposing after the event. It’ll make for a hell of a wrap party. When he asked if it was okay to do it, since technically he’ll be asking her at my house, I laughed.
He doesn’t need my permission to get engaged. It was inevitable that he would ask Emerson to marry him. They’re perfect together in ways we never were.
Still, I’m really excited for him and to be a part of it. He’s asked me to keep her distracted while he sets everything up after the event, and in exchange, he agreed to help me move today. More than likely because she would never suspect me of aiding him in anything.
It almost feels like we’re becoming friends. Which is great. Especially with so many changes happening for Amara. We can both be there for her, and we’re on the same page.
Once Ryder and Tyler show up, the chaos begins. Amara is attempting to help but is actually in the way. Vinnie and Ryder struggle with the larger pieces of furniture while Tyler loads all the boxes. Everyone’s trying to use the front door, which slows the process down, and four hours later, it feels like we still have half the house to load.
Time to call in reinforcements.
ME: Get your butt over here. We need help loading. Your next manicure is on me.
ALLY: Really?
ME: Yes.
ALLY: Fine. Be there soon.
ME: Bring food. Lots of it. And wine. Mine is all packed. Glasses too.
ALLY: Anything else?
ME: Just your beautiful face ;)
She doesn’t bother to respond. Ally hates manual labor, and I honestly don’t plan to give her too much to do, but we need any extra help we can get.
“Hey, Ty. Can you see if Hunter can come over and help? Maybe Devon too. We need muscle.”
Pulling his phone from his pocket, Tyler gets on the horn and makes a few calls. An hour later, my house is filled with shirtless men lifting and loading all my possessions. Devon, Hunter, Ryder, and Tyler all have my appreciation, but there’s only one who has my attention. He’s working up a sweat, and it’s turning me on.
Ally shows up shortly after with pizza, beer, and wine. She’s brought reinforcements as well. Angela and Justine are dressed to work in tennis shoes and jeans, unlike Ally who is wearing heels and a skirt. Probably her way of avoiding carrying anything. Right behind them are Emerson and Brianna.
After the truck is loaded, we all stand around the kitchen island eating pizza and talking. The guys are joking with each other while the girls are talking about the event next weekend. Everyone except for Brianna is engaged in the conversation. When she excuses herself to the bathroom, I make my move.
As soon as I hear the toilet flush, I knock twice. When the door opens, the first thing I notice is the emptiness in her eyes followed by the tearstains on her cheeks.
Pulling her in for a hug, I hold her for a few minutes before taking her hand and tugging her out the back door.
“Talk to me,” I urge after we’ve been walking in circles around the backyard for a few minutes.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“We haven’t spoken in forever, B. There should be a million things for us to talk about. Or, if you prefer, I can fill you in on sexcapades.” Nudging her in the shoulder with my own, she cracks a smile. “What’s on your mind?”
“The same thing that’s always on my mind. I can’t seem to let it go, and it’s driving a wedge between me and Hunter,” she admits, letting out a sigh.
“Nothing is going to get between the two of you, especially this. Not if you don’t let it.”
“I’m trying, really I am, but it’s all I can think about. I can’t even go to the bank without seeing a baby and wishing it were mine. It’s like I’m constantly reminded that I can’t give him the one thing he wants most in this world. Family is so important to him, and unless a miracle happens, I can’t give him one. Ever.”
Ever.
Things really have changed in the last year.
“Is that what the doctor said, or is that what you think?”
“It’s what every doctor has said. There’s no way I’ll ever get pregnant, and if by some chance I do, I won’t be able to carry the baby. My body isn’t strong enough. It’s damaged. There’s nothing I can do to fix it.”
There’s a level of defeat in her voice I’ve never heard before. I can’t imagine what she’s going through, not being able to have a baby of her own. Amara was a blessing, and should I ever have another baby, they would be too.
A blessing that B will never be able to experience.
Pulling her to a stop in the middle of the yard, I turn B to face me, but when I look over her shoulder, I see Ally is only a few feet away from us, approaching quickly. I shake my head, and she stops but doesn’t retreat.
“Look at me, B,” I say. I want her to look in my eyes and believe what I’m about to tell her. As soon as we make eye contact, tears on the cusp of falling from hers, I continue. “No matter what happens from here, you and Hunter are solid. You have to know that. That man loves you more than anyone else in his life. His love is not teetering on whether or not you have a family. You are his family. Focus on that. Focus on what you two have and not what you can’t right now. One day, things will change, but for now, celebrate the life you’ve created together and enjoy it the best you can.”
“But—”
“Just try. For me. For Hunter. More than anything, try for yourself. Allow yourself to accept what you can’t change. I promise that things will get better. You’ll hurt less; the pain will subside. Life is moving forward without you right now. Be a part of this. Of what’s going on around you. I know it’s easier said than done, but I also know you. I know how strong you are. That you’re a fighter. That’s why I also know that things will work out one way or another. You have to believe that too.”
Tears are streaming down B’s face as she collapses against my chest. With every sob, a little bit of sorrow leaves her body. She doesn’t see it now, and probably won’t for a while, but she’s replacing it with determination. With resolve.
Hunter and B will have a family one day. They have to. It may not be in the traditional way, but it will happen for them, and that will be the luckiest child in the world. They both have so much love to give. Right now, they need to focus on loving each other.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chaos.
That’s the best way to describe the past week.
I’ll never host another event for Dixon at my home again. I’ve had vendors here all week, dropping things off and preparing for Saturday. Ryder has been blowing up my phone about his big plans. Wanting to make sure I was still on board. That I knew what I was supposed to do.
It’s awkward, talking to him about getting engaged to Emerson, especially when she’s standing next to me. Not that she’s been paying attention to anything other than her next task. She’s in her own world, checking things off her to-do list. I wasn’t planning on helping her, but somehow, I ended up being her assistant. Even with Justine here, working down her own to-do list.
With today being the last day for me to get my shit in order, I call in backup. I have my own to-do list that doesn’t involve the event, and B is the perfect person to help with my project.
ME: I need out of here. You up for shopping?
B: When have I ever turned down shopping?
ME: Good. I’ll meet you at the food court entrance to the mall in thirty.
B: The mall? Really? What do you need to get?
The mall is my least favorite place to shop. B knows this. She feels the same way. It’s not that the mall doesn’t offer a great selection of stores to shop at. It’s having to deal with all the teenagers.
When I was growing up, I don’t remember the mall being the place to hang out. Apparently it is now. And everyone with their license under the age of eighteen will be there this afternoon. If it weren’t for the fact that I have to visit one store in particular, I’d avoid the place like the plague.
ME: Amara is having trouble sleeping. I want to get her a new friend to sleep with. She’s been asking for another unicorn.
B: Order one online?
ME: I looked. Nothing.
B: Fine but you owe me big for this.
ME: I know. See you soon.
The look on Emerson and Justine’s faces when I announce I’m leaving is priceless. They look confused. It’s not like this is my event, it’s just my house. I don’t need to be here for them to do their thing, but you would think I did. Emerson tries to stall me from leaving by asking me a shit ton of questions, but I shut her down.
“When will you be back?” Justine asks as I slide my purse higher on my shoulder.
“A few hours. B and I will probably grab lunch after.”
“Food,” Emerson purrs. You would think it had been days since she’s eaten the way she said it.
Emerson’s response causes Justine to giggle. It reminds me of the way she used to laugh when we’d go out for girls’ night and a guy would approach her, trying to hit on her. I miss those nights.
While I wait for B to arrive, I shoot Vinnie a text to bring home food for the girls. It’s going to be a long night for them. From what I could tell, they still have hours of work ahead of them, and since I’m not there to help, it’s going to take even longer. Especially since Ally refused to help them tonight.
The event is mandatory for the entire team tomorrow. Everyone needs to be there to help, and Ally didn’t want to give up her entire weekend. I get it, but it’s also really selfish of her. If I can give up my house for a few days, she can give a few extra hours, especially since she’s getting paid for her time.
“Megan!” B hollers and waves from a few feet away. I wave back, standing as she approaches the table.
“You got a pretzel without me?” she asks, frowning at me.
“I got you one too,” I say, handing her the plain white bag I was hiding behind my back.
“Best. Friend. Ever.”
There’s joy in her voice. Enthusiasm. A sound I haven’t heard in far too long as she opens the bag and rips off a piece of the warm, soft pretzel I snagged for her.
“No, that would be you. Not many people would face the terrors of the mall for a stuffed unicorn.”
“Anything for the princess,” she says, her words muffled by the large piece of pretzel in her mouth.
Everyone loves my little girl. Even with B’s troubles getting pregnant, she still adores her and dotes on her any chance she gets.
After picking out a new, purple unicorn for Amara, B and I window shop, popping into a few stores to kill time. We spend the afternoon laughing and talking like old times. As if it hasn’t been forever since we hung out and neither of us has a care in the world.
It’s not until we hear a baby crying in the distance that I notice the slight shift in B’s demeanor. She puts on a brave face—fake smile and all—pretends to ignore it, and shifts the conversation to tomorrow’s events, but I see it. The emptiness in her eyes.
She completely shuts down.
“Hey,” I say, placing my hand on her back as we weave our way through the crowd. “It’s okay to be sad, you know. You don’t have to fake it with me.”
“I know, but I don’t want to be sad anymore. I don’t want to feel hollow inside anymore.”
“What are you going to do about it, then?” I challenge her. If she doesn’t want to feel like this, she’s going to have to take action. Action only she can decide is right for her.
“I don’t know yet, but I do know that I need to do something soon.”
“Have you talked to Hunter?”
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“And he’s trying to be supportive, but I know this gets to him too. He’s dealing with it differently. He’s working all the time. I knew he’d be putting in extra hours when he took over for Herman, but I didn’t think that meant he’d be living in the office. It feels like I barely see him sometimes.”
Hunter has always been the leader of the three Dixon brothers. His motto is to lead by example. If that were the case, Vinnie would be working late. Maybe once or twice has he been at the office after hours. If anything, he’s out early. It could be the fact he’s still new and there isn’t as much to do. More than likely, that’s not the case. It sounds more like Hunter’s taking on more than he should and is doing it alone.
“Maybe you two need to get away for a while. Go on vacation. Get him away from the office and spend some quality time together.”
B thinks it over for a few minutes. I can tell she likes the idea, but she’s thinking too hard about what should be an easy decision to make. I understand logistically it might be a challenge. Hunter takes his responsibilities seriously and leaving Dixon now, for a vacation, when Herman has only been retired for a month, might not be the best time. It still can’t hurt to suggest the idea to him.
“What are you thinking?” I finally ask after a few minutes.
“Destination wedding.”
“Um, you’re already married.”
“I know, but our anniversary is coming up in a month. What if we did a vow renewal? Somewhere tropical.”
The thought of the sand between my toes and the sun on my back warms my heart. I’d never turn down a vacation to somewhere warm.
“I’m in,” I say, inviting myself to the party.
“We could make it a family thing. So, a ceremony and everything.”
Raising an eyebrow, she reads my mind. Having the entire family there means closing down shop.
“The office is always closed over Labor Day. It’s a week after our anniversary, but it would still be special, especially since this is our ten-year anniversary.”
“It can’t hurt to suggest it to Hunter. Maybe this is what you both need to heal a little. You’ve been trying for so long, and it’s taken a lot out of you, of your marriage. This could mark the start of something new for you guys. Not starting over but starting fresh.”
Before we can talk details, my phone chimes in my pocket.
RYDER: Can you talk?
“Why is Ryder texting you, asking you to talk?” B inquires, a hint of curiosity in her voice.
“I’m helping him with s
omething, and he wants to make sure certain people aren’t around to listen in,” I explain as I reply to Ryder.
ME: At the mall with B.
RYDER: Don’t tell her what’s going on.
ME: I wasn’t planning on it but she’s reading these messages.
RYDER: Shit. Hi Brianna.
ME: She says hi. I’ll call you in a bit.
RYDER: You promised not to tell anyone but if B promises to keep the secret, you can tell her.
“Ooh! Tell me, tell me, tell me,” B says as soon as she reads Ryder’s text.
“Promise not to tell anyone, not even Hunter.”
“You know we don't keep secrets in this family,” she states firmly, sounding like Tyler.
“Fine, but I didn’t give you permission to tell him, and he can’t say anything to Ryder about knowing.”
“Promise,” she replies, placing her hand over her heart.
“Ryder is proposing to Emerson tomorrow night, and he asked me to help.”
As soon as the words leave my lips, it’s as if the world around me has gone silent. Well, except for Brianna’s hysterical laughter.
“I. Can’t. Believe. This,” she says between breaths.
“Which part? The engagement or me helping?”
“You.”
Rolling my eyes, I explain to Brianna how it all went down and why I agreed to help him. I fill her in on the plan I’ve been working on all week and the hints I’ve been dropping Emerson. Not hints about the engagement but hints of things to add to her list for after the event. Things to check on, clean up, and keep her distracted while Ryder does whatever he has planned.
That’s the only thing he hasn't clued me in on. What his exact plans are. I don’t think he’s told anyone, aside from me, what’s happening. Tyler refuses to keep secrets, and from the sounds of it, Hunter is busy. Vinnie knows, only because I had to tell someone, and he promised not to mention it to anyone.
You see, we can keep secrets. Not from each other, but from other people. As long as we’re honest in our relationship, secrets don’t tear you apart. Sometimes, a secret can bring people together. Right now, the secret Ryder and I are sharing is bringing us closer. It’s repairing our relationship, and we’ve found a way to build a friendship.
Rumors: Megan & Vinnie Page 17