Well, maybe a dark hero.
A bead of sweat drips down the side of his face that’s not covered with his mask.
“Nervous?” I ask.
“Just a little.”
I know asking him to accompany me to the hospital to see FANGURL is asking a lot. Probably more than I will ever know. But truth be told I’m not just doing it for FANGURL, even though supporting her is important.
I’m doing it for Alexander and I’m doing it for us. If we ever hope to have a chance at a real relationship we’re going to need to go outside with each other as a couple. I can’t imagine living the rest of our lives confined to his house.
I’m glad that the street is deserted. Most of the residents are probably at work or at school.
“I haven’t used my car in a really long time,” Alexander says. “I hope it’s still running.”
“We could always take the bus,” I offer.
“There’s no way you’re going to get me on the bus.”
“It’s a long walk to the hospital.”
“Then let’s hope this works,” he says as he unlocks the car doors.
I hold my breath as he tries to start the ignition then breathes a sigh of relief when the engine roars to life.
“Thank God for German engineering,” he says.
It’s only then that I realize the car is a BMW. And it looks brand new. “Do you even drive this car?”
“Occasionally.” I can tell by the tone of his voice that occasionally actually means never.
“Why do you own this expensive car if you rarely drive it?”
When he looks over at me he’s grinning. “To take you to visit your friends in the hospital apparently.”
I can’t help but smile. “She’s your friend too.”
He’s quiet as we back out of his garage and into the daylight. His arms are stiff and I can see his hands are shaking a bit. I know this must be hard for him after spending so much time alone locked away in his house.
“Thank you for doing this.”
“Doing what?”
“Going to the hospital with me. It means a lot.”
He nods. I don’t expect him to say anything else, but he surprises me with, “I couldn’t let you go alone.”
Also embedded in that statement is that he didn’t want me to go with Hector, but I know that’s something he would never admit.
He takes in a deep breath once we’re on the street in preparation for what could be the longest short trip to the hospital.
It’s almost painful to watch Alexander avoid looking anywhere but straight ahead. He’s like a small child who believes that if they hide their eyes that other people won’t be able to see them either.
I breathe a small sigh of relief when I see Alexander’s arms finally start to relax a bit.
In almost no time we arrive at the hospital. But getting Alexander to exit the car takes almost as much time as our trip there.
“Okay,” he says finally. “Let’s do this.”
Once he’s made his declaration he nearly springs out of the car. His hesitation seems to have turned to resolve as we make our way into the hospital. Alexander is practically sprinting and I have to run to keep up with him.
When we’re inside I point to a visitor’s reception desk and we make our way over to it. The young woman seated at the reception desk does a bit of a double take when she sees Alexander, but she does her best to contain her reaction to his appearance.
“The burn unit?” the receptionist asks meekly.
I shake my head. As I open my mouth to speak I realize that I have no idea what FANGURL’s real name is. How can we possibly ask about visiting her when we can’t even give her name?
Then to my surprise Alexander says, “We’re here to visit Luci Roth.”
I give him a quick glance, but he’s staring straight ahead not making eye contact with anyone.
The receptionist types something into the computer and then says, “She’s in Room 816. But visiting hours don’t start for another fifteen minutes.”
I nod. “Just enough time to buy her a gift. Where’s the gift shop?”
As I pull Alexander in the direction of the gift shop I whisper, “How do you know FANGURL’s real name?”
“I’m a hacker,” he whispers back. “At least one of us was thinking ahead.”
“Thanks,” I tell him again. “At some point you’re probably going to get tired of me thanking you.”
“Never.” I see a sly smile cross his face.
The gift shop isn’t very big and doesn’t seem to carry much of a selection, but Alexander immediately gravitates towards the stuffed animals. He selects the most pathetic looking stuffed hound dog I’ve ever seen. It’s got huge, sad eyes and looks like it’s been in the gift shop forever. I’m surprised it’s not on the sale rack.
“This one,” he asserts.
“Are you sure?” I glance at the selection of cute and fluffy teddy bears and other assorted creatures that are much nicer than this pathetic excuse for a stuffed toy.
He nods. “Definitely this one.”
“Okay,” I agree hesitantly.
We take the stuffed dog up to the register and the cashier looks surprised at the selection we made. She rings up the purchase and when she finally glances up at Alexander her jaw falls and then she seems to catch herself and shuts her lips a little too tightly.
It’s becoming increasingly clear why Alexander chooses to stay indoors. People don’t seem to know the proper way to react to him without being rude.
When Alexander hands the cashier the money she actually stares at it for a few seconds as if his condition is contagious and she doesn’t want to touch it.
I want to scream: he was burned, deal with it, but I resist the urge.
After a few more awkward seconds of Alexander holding the cash out in front of her she finally grabs it and hands him the receipt.
We quickly make our way out of the gift shop and then head toward the elevators. Once the elevator doors shut and we have a bit of privacy I debate saying something to Alexander. Instead I lean over and place a quick kiss on his cheek.
At least that elicits a small smile.
Luci is in a private room and when we enter I immediately notice that the room is stark. She doesn’t have any gifts, flowers or balloons. Not even a card anywhere.
Her lids remain heavy when she opens her eyes and looks over at us.
“You came.” Her voice is small and groggy.
Her remark makes me wonder who she thinks we are. She surely wouldn’t be expecting the two of us.
Alexander hands her the stuffed dog. As pathetic as it is it still brings a smile to her badly bruised and beaten face.
“He’s so cute. Thanks.” She places him on the bed next to her.
Even hooked up to monitors and an IV and as beaten as she is she’s still looks like I always imagined. Her long thick hair is nearly carrot colored and her freckled face is full and childlike, which makes her condition appear worse.
She immediately brings Pippi Longstocking to mind albeit a badly beaten version of the children’s book character.
“Are the two of you together now?” She glances in my direction.
I’m not sure how to respond. Not only because I’m still not sure she knows exactly who we are, but also because I’m not sure Alexander and I are actually together, whatever that means.
“I’m not sure,” I mutter.
Alexander immediately takes my hand and laces our fingers. “We’re together.”
Luci nods. “I had a feeling that would happen eventually. The two of you are always flirting with each other online.”
Maybe she really does know who we are.
“The two of you look just like I imagined.” She looks over at Alexander. “Except for the mask. I didn’t picture that.”
She doesn’t seem the least bit bothered by his appearance and I already love her for that.
“How did you know it was us?” I ask.
“That’s easy.” She attempts to laugh, but gives a loud “Ouch” instead. “I can’t laugh yet. Not until some of the bruising goes down and the cuts heal.” Then as if remembering she was in the middle of a thought she says, “I only have two friends and you’re both standing in front of me.”
I blink back tears and when I glance over at Alexander he looks just as sad at her admission.
I move closer to her bed and take her hand in mine. “Do you want to know my name?”
She nods.
“It’s Roxie Bailey.”
“Alexander Grant,” he adds.
“Why are you wearing a mask?” she asks.
Alexander swallows before he replies. “I was burned very badly in a fire. I like to keep my scars covered.”
“Everyone has scars,” Luci says. “You just wear yours on the outside. And I will be too. Some of the damage to my face will probably be permanent. At least that’s what the doctors tell me.”
Alexander’s expression quickly changes. His lips become a tight angry line and his fists become tight balls of rage. “Who did this to you?”
Luci’s eyes grow wide and she shakes her head. “I don’t remember.”
Alexander and I give each other a quick glance. We can both tell she’s lying.
I give her hand a squeeze. “My roommate is dead.”
“What?” Her voice is even smaller.
“We think the same guys who did this to you are the ones who killed her. We just need for you to tell us the truth.”
Her eyes fill with moisture. “They almost killed me. I think they wanted to.”
“They drugged my roommate. They wanted to rape her, but they overdosed her instead. They panicked when they realized she wasn’t breathing and dumped her body in the park.”
“I’m sorry.” Her voice sounds hallow and lifeless.
“We want to find a way to stop them.”
She bites her bottom lip as if she’s trying to keep herself from saying more.
“Please,” I beg. “We don’t want them to hurt anyone else.”
She gulps. “They told me they would kill me if I ever talked to anyone about what they did…” Her voice trails off.
“You’re in a hospital. They can’t hurt you here.”
My statement doesn’t seem to comfort her at all. Her face is filled with concern. “They said they had connections. That I would be the one who’d get in trouble, not them.”
Alexander balls his fists so hard his knuckles start to turn white. “It was the Delta Omega Gammas, wasn’t it?”
She glances up at him and gives him a slight nod.
“I promise you they will not get away with this. They will pay for what they did to you and Claire.”
She furrows her brow. “Claire…I think she was in my math class. Does she look like a blonde Barbie?”
I nod. “She did.”
Luci wipes at a tear that has slid down her cheek. I quickly grab a tissue from a box on the table next to her bed and hand it to her.
“Three guys attacked me. Two of them were from my math class. They were always staring at Claire and whispering things to each other and laughing. I didn’t like it so I told them off. I guess this was my payback.”
“Ours will be much worse,” Alexander assures her. I’ve never seen this side of him before. I’ve only seen the quiet and gentle Alexander. The guy who will do anything for me. I always thought there was more underneath his unassuming exterior and now I realize there’s a lot more. There’s a strong, and somewhat terrifying person underneath the mask. One that he doesn’t let out very much. But one who will obviously do anything for the people who he cares about, even if it means having to resort to baser urges and violence.
“Will you take off your mask?” Luci asks. “I want to see your face.”
I’m surprised when Alexander doesn’t hesitate. He lifts his mask from his face and rests it on the top of his head.
“Thank you,” Luci replies. “You don’t have to wear it when you’re around me. I liked you when I couldn’t see you at all. The scars don’t stop me from liking you.”
“Not everyone is that kind,” I tell her.
“I’m not being kind. I just accept people the way they are.”
When a nurse enters the room carrying a tray with medicines she stops dead in her tracks when she sees us, obviously surprised.
It doesn’t take Alexander more than a quick moment to slide his mask back down over his face.
“I didn’t realize Luci had visitors.”
Luci lifts up her stuffed toy. “They brought me a gift.”
“It’s cute,” the nurse says halfheartedly.
“We’d better get going,” I suggest. “You look like you could use some more rest and I think the nurse wants to give you some medication.”
Luci nods, but I can see the disappointment in her eyes.
“We’ll be back.”
“Promise?”
I nod. “Do you need anything?”
“My RA informed all of my professors. She wants me to drop all of my classes, but I’m going to see if I can get incompletes instead. I think I can make up the work.”
“I’m sure you can,” I reply.
Then she looks over at Alexander. “If people can’t handle your scars fuck ’em.”
That makes him grin. “I’ll take that under advisement.”
“Take care of yourself,” I say to Luci.
“I always do.” She tries to smile again. “Ouch. I’ve got to stop doing that.”
“Don’t ever stop smiling,” Alexander says.
“We’ll be back soon.” She looks like she wants to believe me, but can’t quite do it. “Promise,” I assure her.
As Alexander and I leave the room he grabs my hand again and laces our fingers. I’m beginning to like that small gesture a lot more than I know I should. Two words keep running through my mind: we’re together. He sounded so adamant when he said it, almost possessive. I have to admit it both frightened and delighted me.
Never in my wildest imagination did I ever think I’d be with someone. Someone with whom I could actually talk about my past. Someone who seems to still accept me, even if he’s the last person on Earth who should.
Alexander is unusually quiet on the ride back to his house.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“Now do you understand why I rarely go outside?”
“I think Luci is right. If people can’t accept your scars it’s their problem, not yours.”
He laughs. “That’s not what she said.”
“That’s the sentiment she expressed. My parents taught us not to use profanity.”
I can feel the air between us chill at the mention of my parents. We haven’t actually had a discussion about my family.
Alexander is quiet for a long time, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. After we pull into his garage and he turns off the engine he turns to face me. “Do you know why he did it?”
I shake my head. “I wish I did. I think it would make accepting it easier. I haven’t spoken to him since he was arrested. I can’t bring myself to face him. My parents haven’t either. They’ve basically disowned him. They tried so hard to make us American. They wanted us to have a better life. They were so hurt by what he did, it changed them. They’re like hollow shells of their former selves. Kind of like their bodies are still alive, but their spirits have died.”
He nods. “I know how they feel. I’ve felt like that for a very long time.” He looks deeply into my eyes. “I felt that way until I met you.”
When he takes my hands in his they feel a bit colder than they normally do.
“Should we go inside?” I offer.
“I need to get this out first.”
I gulp. His expression has turned so serious it scares me a little bit.
He continues. “Before I met you I was seething with rage. All I thought about was the moment when I could exact my revenge on your brother. I wanted to mak
e him hurt as much as he hurt me. I thought my life was over and I blamed your brother for that. But then you appeared on my doorstep. And you weren’t disgusted by my appearance. You didn’t run away. You stayed with me. And you’re still here with me. You made me believe that I could actually have a life again.”
“You can have a wonderful life, if you allow yourself to. My brother is the one who will never have a life again. He gave up that right with the choices he made. He’ll either spend the rest of his life in prison or he’ll be put to death. You’ve said you believe in karma and justice. That’s karmic justice.”
“I don’t think the legal system is going to give Luci and Claire justice.”
“I hope you’re wrong, but I believe you’re probably right.”
When Alexander starts to shiver I make another suggestion to go inside. “You’re only wearing a thin cotton shirt. And it’s colder when we’re not in the sunlight.”
“Okay,” he agrees. “But I have one thing to do first.”
He leans over and places a soft kiss on my lips. “I’m glad we’re together.”
“Me too.”
Not more than a few seconds after we step inside his phone starts to ring.
“It’s probably the delivery service,” Alexander says as he answers the phone. He gives me a quick nod as he confirms the delivery.
“They’re on their way.”
We both look at each other. I wonder if he’s thinking the same thing I’m thinking. They’ll be delivering the condoms.
When the doorbell rings just a few seconds later we both glance at each other.
“They don’t usually deliver that quickly do they?”
As he shakes his head the knocking continues. We look at each other for a long moment and then Alexander opens the door.
Julio is in really bad shape. Worse than he looked the last time I saw him when I thought he looked terrible. Now he looks like the last survivor of the zombie apocalypse, the one in which you’re not sure who is still human or who has been turned to a zombie.
“The cops questioned me and Hector again.” He doesn’t wait to be invited inside this time, he just enters the house. “I’m starting to get nervous that they think we had something to do with Claire’s death.”
The Nines Page 13