Jay met her eyes and any optimism he had that Cat might not want to go with him died. “I’d prefer to go alone.”
Her gaze turned steely. “I’m coming with you.”
“Cat—”
“Don’t get all macho and protective on me. There is nothing at these places that can surprise or shock me. I’m a cop. I’ve seen it all before.”
“It’s not your inability to deal with what you might see that bothers me.”
“Then what?”
He took another drink to ease the dryness in his throat. Their eyes locked over the rim of his cup. “It doesn’t feel good to know you’ll see how low I sank, see the lifestyle I let myself get dragged into.”
She reached across the table and took his hand. “You’ve told me everything and I’ve dealt with what happened, okay? It’s time you did, too. The only reason I want to go with you is because I can use everything we hear or see in court if I have to testify.” The skin of her neck shifted and a soft apology flashed in her cool green gaze. “Unfortunately, my testimony will hold a lot more substance in front of a judge than yours.”
“Because I’m an ex-junkie.” Anger seeped into his blood along with a hefty injection of shame and regret. “My God, will I ever be allowed to forget how much I screwed up?”
She squeezed his hand. “Yes, and I think going back to these places will help you see you’re a success story, one of the few that survived, rather than be a harsh reminder of what you once were. This will be good for Sarah...and you.”
He turned toward the window. How could she look at him with such admiration when she’d known him before the drugs? Knew how his life was there for the taking, but how even when every opportunity was available to him he flung it all back in his parents’ faces? The night they spent on the beach, he promised her the world and then stayed away despite knowing her life must be falling apart when her father died. What could he say to make it better? What could he do to let her see he would never let her down again?
Watching the sun glint off the gray pavement, turning it silver, Jay curled his fingers tighter around hers. “It’s hot out there.”
“What?”
“The heat will send the junkies running for cover rather than heading for the beach like anyone sane and sober. It should be pretty easy to find Jordon.”
“Who?”
He faced her. “Kyle Jordon. The main man in Templeton when dealing with narcotics. If Sarah was involved in that scene in the slightest way, he’ll know.”
“So he’s dangerous.” It wasn’t a question. “Could it be him?”
“That killed Sarah?” Jay lifted his shoulders and inhaled a shaky breath. “It’s possible.”
She drank her coffee, her eyes not telling him anything of how that thought affected her. “Well, we’ll find out either way, won’t we?”
The regret of their lost years culminated and fell heavy into Jay’s heart. “I’m sorry I didn’t check up on you, Cat.”
She smiled softly. “Don’t apologize. Never apologize. We’re human. We’ve both made mistakes.”
There it was again. That sadness in her voice. “What mistakes have you made? What is it you think you’ve done wrong?”
Her gaze darted over his face and she slowly slipped her hand from his and clamped it with her other around her coffee cup. She stared into the milky-brown depths. “I’m making mistakes every day and have no idea how to stop.”
“What are you talking about?”
She looked up. “Can I ask you something?”
Jay’s heart twisted and he braced himself for whatever further admission he would have to make. Whatever she asked, he wouldn’t lie to her. “Shoot.”
“When you were in rehab, did you ever feel abandoned?”
“Abandoned?” Where had that come from? “No. Never. I felt violently angry at the start, when I wanted a fix, then scared when the hell of withdrawal racked my body with pain like I’ve never known, but never abandoned.”
She stared deep into his eyes. “Honestly?”
“Honestly.” The pain in her eyes was more than Jay could take and he stood, gesturing for her to slide along the seat. “Move over.”
“What?” Panic burst into her gaze. “What are you doing?”
“Move.”
He pulled back his shoulders. She might have had him totally under her control in bed last night, so weak with lust for her if she’d told him to get on all fours and bark at the moon, he would have. But that was then, this was now.
She hesitated another moment before sliding along. Jay sat beside her and put his arm around her shoulders, pulled her close. She trembled and he held her tighter. The scent of her perfume, musky and enticing, wafted under his nostrils and he fought the urge to press his face into her hair.
“Why did you ask that? What’s going on?”
She hesitated and then her body slumped under his arm as though the fight slipped from inside her. “I don’t think I can do it anymore. I’m so tired.” Her voice cracked.
Whatever it was she didn’t want to do, she didn’t have to. He’d fix it for her. Whatever it was, he’d fix it. “Can’t do what? Work for the police? Sarah?”
She shook her head and her hair fell like a ruby red curtain over her face, hiding her from him. “Mum. I don’t think I can help Mum anymore.”
“Julia?” He knew it. Every instinct in his body had screamed her sadness was rooted in her mother. “What is it, Cat?”
“Whoa, now what’s going on here, then?” George’s voice boomed to the side of him.
Jay flinched and Cat leaped away from him as though he’d bitten her.
“George.” She laughed, her voice forced and tight. “You’re here.”
“Yes, I am. And look at you all snuggled up to Jay like you’ve never been away.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CAT’S HEART THUNDERED. What had she been thinking? Now Jay would be like a horse with the bit between his teeth. He wouldn’t let this go easily. Goddamn it. How could she weaken like that? She blinked, George’s smile faltered.
“Are you okay, lovely?”
She plastered on a smile. “Of course...all the better for seeing you.”
George looked from her to Jay and back again, his eyes narrowed. “Are you sure? Because just a second ago you two looked very cozy—”
Cat patted her hand on the table, steadfastly avoiding turning around to look at Jay. She could practically feel his gaze boring a hole in the side of her head. “Come and sit down. We’ve got something important to talk about.”
George slid into the seat opposite her. “Yes, indeed. Marian tells me you need our help.”
Guilt pressed down on her chest and Cat’s smile wavered. “I do. I have a huge favor to ask. But if you’re not comfortable with it, you say no and we’ll not talk about it again. Okay?”
He frowned. “Is it serious? Is this to do with Sarah?”
Cat swallowed. “Let’s wait for Marian, okay? Then I’ll explain everything.”
She hated doing this to him but she had to focus on the outcome. She was willing to risk disciplinary action being taken against her if her boss ever found out she used civilians to help in a murder investigation. But that was the very worst that would happen. She’d make sure of it. Marian and George would be fine.
Nerves stole the saliva from her mouth. Everything would be fine.
Jay cleared his throat beside her. “So, George? D
ad’s back from vacation and keeping you busy?”
George turned. “As always, Jay. As always.”
The two of them struck up a conversation and Cat exhaled. She was too personally involved with everyone this investigation touched—but that didn’t mean she would, or could, turn away. She’d had enough of running and hiding. She trusted Jay and needed his help. He’d been honest with her about his addiction, and the more Cat was with him, the more she felt she owed him her honesty, too.
His past and her future were too closely entwined for them to be together but it didn’t mean she had to reject him entirely. He didn’t deserve that when he’d come so far despite everything he’d done to himself and others.
She didn’t want to run from life anymore. If Jay could do it, so could she. But for now, they were on a mission to find the money Sarah had hidden. Whether or not Jay could help with her mum she’d soon find out. Maybe she shouldn’t have opened the subject it had taken a week to even contemplate sharing with him, but she had.
Even when Jay’s alibi was not as rock solid as he presumed, and that he hadn’t been there for Sarah. Cat swallowed. She must be mad. Or in love. She’d fallen in love with him all over again. Stupid, stupid woman.
Blinking against the burning in her eyes, she looked across the bakery. Marian was at the coffee machine. She looked up and gestured to Cat by raising her finger that she would be just a minute. Cat forced a smile and mouthed “okay.”
She looked down at her clasped hands and worried how best to explain to Marian and George what she and Jay had learned about the danger Sarah had been in. Everything suddenly felt like such a mess. Was she feeling so out of control because she and Jay had slept together? That she had forgotten her fears and worries and released her frustration with the man she loved for one blissful night?
Cat risked a glance at him and pain struck her heart afresh. Bennett had made her doubt everything Jay had told her. She couldn’t ignore the fact that he’d lied to her about meeting Sarah that day. Yet deep inside, she knew Jay would never be capable of locking his hands around Sarah’s throat.
She shoved her doubts into submission. This trip, even with its sickening cause, was allowing her the perspective and space she needed to figure out how to help her mum and herself from falling into the abyss of hopelessness that grew wider every day. These thoughts about Jay were born from her perpetual doubt about everything. Nothing more.
She blinked when she saw Marian approaching the table and forced a wide smile. “Ah, here she comes.”
Marian stopped at the table and placed two steaming cups in front of George and a tray of rock buns in the center. “Help yourselves. Freshly made this morning.”
Cat glanced at Jay and their eyes locked. His gaze was soft with concern.
Please, Jay. Leave it. Not now. Later.
Panic simmered through her blood as Cat silently pleaded with him. After a long moment he nodded and she exhaled a shaky breath before turning to face Marian and George.
“Right, then. Shall we get started?”
Emotions tumbled around in her heart. Fear she was doing the right thing by Sarah, Jay, Marian and George tormented her mind and messed with her usually solid and professional judgment. Cat tilted her chin. For better or worse, there were choices to be made and for now, the late afternoon and ensuing hours belonged to Sarah.
She met Marian and George’s wary gazes. “You’re probably wondering what I meant by needing your help. Well, that help is tied up in the investigation into Sarah’s death and it involves a visit to the beach.”
Marian’s eyebrows lifted. “The beach? What’s the beach got to do with anything? The poor girl was found murdered on Jay’s land, not the beach.”
Jay stiffened. Marian might as well have poked him in the eye with a needle of accusation.
“First of all, the forest isn’t Jay’s land.” Cat’s tone was firm. “Secondly, the beach plays a massive part in finding Sarah’s killer because I’m confident he won’t leave the Cove without something that’s hidden there.” She looked from Marian to George and back again. “How well did you know Sarah?”
Marian blew out a breath and her eyes turned glassy. “Not well enough, it turns out.” She swiped her hand under her eyes. “I didn’t know she was in trouble. I thought she was her usual happy self and that hurts me down to my very soul. I thought I knew her. I really did.”
George took her hand in his. “No one could’ve known what was going on, love. No one. Sarah was a good girl who the devil went after. It’s no one’s fault we didn’t see him. In disguise, he was. Isn’t that right, Catherine?”
Cat smiled. “Absolutely. No one could’ve known, but what we know now starts us moving toward a conclusion that I hope will give Sarah’s parents a modicum of peace. We now know Sarah hid some money on the beach. Her killer’s money.” She drew in a breath and exhaled. “I want you to find it.”
George and Marian stared at her with identical expressions of stunned bewilderment. Silence. Cat waited. She had seen this a million times before and knew their brains would kick in sooner or later, but then Jay waved his hand in front of their faces.
“Hey, are you okay? Did you hear what Cat said?”
Biting back an entirely inappropriate smile, Cat pulled his hand to the table and shot him a glare.
She reached into her handbag and pulled out a piece of paper. “Here’s a list of places Jay and I think Sarah could have hidden the money. Places the police are unlikely to consider but Sarah knew well.”
George’s paralysis was the first to break. “She hid money on the beach? Her killer’s money? My God.”
“Exactly. Until I’m convinced it’s no longer there, I’m sure he’s still in town. Here.” She offered him the list.
His eyes darted over her compiled locations. “How are we supposed to know—”
“Just follow the directions.” Cat looked at Marian. “It’s imperative neither of you draw attention to yourselves or act in any way other than normal.”
Marian turned to George. Their faces were etched with worry and confusion. She reached across the table and gestured for each of their hands. Silently and slowly, Marian put her hand in one of Cat’s and then George followed. Cat clasped their fingers and prayed that she could gain their confidence to do this.
“What I’m asking you to do is huge...and I’m sorry that I even have to consider it. I...we, Jay and I, are possibly being followed. Whether by the killer or someone else, I don’t know. He has rung me twice and given intimate details he could have only known if he was watching me on both occasions.”
George’s jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed. “Did he threaten you? Have you told this Bennett character about this?”
Cat nodded. “Yes to both questions. So, you see, if he’s following me, there’s every possibility he will follow me to the beach.”
Marian looked toward the bakery window. “How do you know he’s not watching us right now?”
Unease rippled across the back of Cat’s neck. She had considered it, but it was a risk she’d had to take. He wanted her or Jay, or maybe both. They were the link to Sarah. They were the ones she’d contacted before her killer struck. Intellectually, Cat knew he would have no interest in what Marian and George were doing. Emotionally, the knowledge of sending them to the beach still sent a horrible chill down her spine. She had no option but to trust in her own intuition that this was the best way forward.
“The truth
is, I don’t, Marian. But he wants Jay or me. Not you.” She tightened her fingers around Marian’s and George’s and looked at them in turn. “You don’t have to do this. I’m asking you, but by no means forcing you. It is risky, but I think the risk is low enough that you will be safe for the short time I need you to go there. The killer will be watching me and Jay if he’s watching at all.” She glanced at Jay. “We have a house visit to make and then we’ll come to the beach. It will be dusk soon and the light will be no good for a proper search. I just hoped we could get a head start before Bennett’s team arrives.”
Marian frowned. “Don’t trust him, either, eh?”
Cat stared. “I trust him.”
“No, you don’t. It’s written all over your face. Why don’t you trust the inspector?”
Heat seared Cat’s face. Because he thinks Jay did this. “It’s not that I don’t trust Bennett to do his job. But I want to be the one to nail Sarah’s killer. It sounds stupid and misplaced. But Jay and I...” She turned to Jay. “We’ve got some making up to do as far as Sarah’s concerned.”
A sad silence enveloped the table and Cat shut her eyes. Sarah’s smiling face appeared behind her closed lids and Cat squeezed back the tears.
“Okay. We’ll do it.”
Cat snapped her eyes open. “You will?”
“Yep.” Marian grinned from ear to ear.
George grinned. “Abso-bloody-lutely.”
Fully alert once more, Marian gestured toward the paper. “George, give me that.”
Cat let out her breath on a rush of relief and when Jay stole his arm around her shoulder, she turned and smiled. He winked, sending her stomach into a mess of knots and tangles. She turned to Marian and George. Marian’s keen gaze ran over the list.
Finding Justice Page 20