He shook his head slightly at me, with no softening of his expression. I knew what that meant. If he could talk about it, he would. But he couldn’t.
I debated turning and walking away. But Joe had never given me a reason not to trust him. I looked at Bella and she nodded. She trusted him, too. Well, alright then. I looked back at him. “Where are we going, at least?”
“The study,” he replied simply.
Damn. That wasn’t good. This meant that we were going to be prepped for a later, public announcement of import, and he expected a strong initial reaction, most likely from me. Had it only been me summoned, I would have known it was just a hush-hush assignment. Having Bella along changed everything.
I knew it was going to be an unusual meeting when he ushered us into the king’s private quarters. The king wasn’t there, and Joe left us alone. As he left the room he gave me a small wink. I wondered what had brought that on. He spent a lot of time cultivating the imperturbable look, and he wasn’t given to dabbling in Court politics. He did his job and stayed quiet. Which is what he did now, silently shutting the door.
I might be alone with her, but it wasn’t a place to talk about anything personal. I shrugged and deliberately put Joe’s action to the back of my mind.
“Sit and make yourself comfortable,” I suggested to her. “We might have a little wait.”
She looked around the room, and I followed her lead, seeing it through fresh eyes. It was not an opulent chamber, but comfortable. I knew from experience the chairs were comfortable, and the wear was from centuries of use. They had earned the shabby. I had been here many times, meetings with the king when he needed a job done quickly and informally.
Bella finally took a seat in a faded blue chair, and looked a little tense. I sat opposite her on a small couch with plush cushions, remembering younger days lounging in this spot and trying to make the king laugh. I had succeeded from time to time, and over the decades had decided that it was better for him if I damaged his calm on occasion. This would not be one of them. My own calm was shaky.
Bella’s wings were folded up tightly enough to be almost out of sight behind her as she sat with hands folded, but from the way the wingtips quivered from time to time betrayed her nervousness. She had chosen to stay Underhill, in a moment I considered foolish, and she had to be regretting that now, but there was no escape here. I was trying to think of a safe topic to divert her with, in this room where there were literally ears in the wall, when the king walked in.
He folded into his favorite chair, an overstuffed leather armchair that creaked under his weight. I wondered absently if someone kept repairing the old furniture to keep it going for him. He stretched his feet out in front of him with a sigh.
“Lom,” he greeted me, and then, with a rare smile, “Bella.”
Bella took my cue and responded as I did. “Your Majesty.”
He might be acting informally, but I was erring on the side of caution and politeness. Also, I wasn’t happy with him at the moment.
“I called you two to give you an informal notification, and job assignment, Lom.”
I nodded. I had expected this. Bella just watched us. The king went on.
“Lom, I want you to escort our rescuees home. Melcar is afraid they will go witless dwelling on memories of their captivity, and has recommended that taking them back to their homes might be the best thing for them. We could, of course, simply transport them back, but I wanted a reliable emissary to carry a hand-written message from me, and assure the Eastern Court we will offer them all aid.”
I thought I understood the subtext. He was appointing me to this so I could assess how corrupted Eastern was by the Low Court. Bell would lend this weight by her status...
The king interrupted my train of thought, “Bella, you will receive special training to ready you for coronation.”
And the train of thought derailed with a noisy crashing of gears. What had he just said? I glanced at Bella, who was looking back and forth between us with confused eyes, and the wings were back to quivering.
He was positively jovial as he continued, “M’dear, you have the power, the presence, to be a magnificent Queen. I will be proud to share the ruling of Underhill with you, which our kingdom desperately needs to be in balance once more. But you need polish.” He fixed her with an eagle-eyed glare. “You are a loose cannon and you must learn control.”
I thought Bella really would explode right there. And he had no idea how much power and knowledge she really had. It was a good thing she was not the child he was treating her like, with the library in her head and no control. What she lacked was experience. I’d hoped to help her earn that alongside me, not immured in Court stagnating and becoming something she would loathe.
I spoke before she could. “Who are you going to appoint to teach her?”
Bella stood up, her wings flaring behind her. “I must decline to accept the position.”
He stared at her for a moment. I sighed. I had half expected this reaction from her. She went on, her voice icy calm.
“I am in no way suited to a queenship. I have no real ties to Underhill, besides Lom, and he only because we work well together. I never wanted to come here, and did so only under duress. I feared for my personal safety and even more for that of my family. I understand that I would not be your wife, but that I would be in a place of authority, making important decisions for the benefit of this Court, and Underhill. I am not the right person for that. I don’t know enough, and simply giving me protocol lessons is not going to remedy that. If you are so worried about my lack of experience and power, I have a solution to suggest. Let me work with Lom. If he can’t deal with me, who else is going to?”
She stood there, wings trembling, but otherwise still and composed. He put his fingertips together and rested his bearded chin on them, looking at her through hooded eyes. I just leaned back and stayed out of it. That was my girl. She didn’t need back-up, just moral support. She knew I was here for her.
“The reason I selected you, Belladonna, is the way you just spoke to me.”
She blinked in surprise, and I tried not to let my lips crook up into the smile I was starting to feel. The king stood up slowly, and came to stand in front of her.
“I’ve behaved abominably toward you. I’ve done it deliberately, trying to provoke you. I needed to know how you would react to personal attacks.” Now he grinned, the most boyish expression I had even seen on his face. “I have already had many reports of how well you handle yourself in actual combat.”
Bella looked at me, and I shook my head. He’d had those stories from someone else. The king held out a hand.
“Forgive me? Would you be willing to work with me?”
She took his hand reluctantly. Bella’s too nice to hurt someone looking at her with sad eyes. I had seen him manipulate people over the centuries, through sheer force of will, power, and discipline, but this was the first time I had seen this softer side of him. It was what she would need, though. She couldn’t endure constantly at odds with him. I felt a little pang of loss. I had been looking forward to more time with her, and perhaps another kiss. This would end that little dream.
“I am not a creature of Underhill, sir,” she protested.
“All the better. It will give you an objectivity we sorely need.”
“And I miss my family.” Bella admitted this after a long pause, and I knew it meant she did trust him a little, to say that. “They expect me home again, you know.”
“There’s no reason you cannot go home again, just not to live in Human Realms. In fact, I don’t anticipate the coronation to be anytime soon. Once Lom returns from his little errand, he can escort you above.”
She sighed, and I saw her wings droop. “I don’t have a choice, really, do I, sir?”
“You do. You can choose to decline to become Queen. I will not force you into that. But know that if you do decide that, you can never return to your family and must remain watched even Underhill. You have
too much power, and would be too tempting to Our enemies.”
She protested, her face suddenly showing anger. “And being Queen protects me from that how? By making me choose between ruling and prison, you are forcing me.”
The king shot back passionately, still showing more emotion than I had ever guessed lay in him. “Do you think I would choose this, if I could leave it all behind? I am alone, I can number those I trust fully on the fingers of one hand. But it is my duty, Belladonna. I was chosen for this, for some of the same reasons I am choosing you. You have honor, girl, and you know what duty is. It lies heavy on all of us, and shapes our destiny, will we or no. We are none of us fully free.”
She looked into his eyes for a long moment, still holding his hand. I wondered what she was thinking. I knew something he didn’t. She was fully capable of leaving this room, so carefully guarded, in a transportation bubble, fleeing Underhill, and precipitating a war with the Folke and Raven’s kin. I wondered if she knew that. Better question, did the king know that she had such powerful mentors?
“I need time. I came expecting to while away the days until I went home. It was all an adventure. I never anticipated...” she let her voice trail off. The king gave her hand a squeeze and let go of it.
“You have time. I will appoint Alger, Lucia, and Lady Herbale to help you learn what you need to know. Lom will be away a few days, and then you should visit your family. I urge you to take counsel of your grandfather. I met him briefly many, many years ago, and he struck me as a wise man, even then, young as he was. Now I would imagine that has not changed.” The king looked at me, and I nodded silent confirmation. Bob would ease her mind, even if he told her things she didn't want to hear. I made a mental note to ask at another time about how the king and Bob had met. There had to be a story there.
“For now, I need Lom to take the mission to the Eastern Court. You are welcome to remain in your rooms with freedom to roam through the Court. Will that do?”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
I broke in. “Can she also go as far as my home?” I knew she could, of course, I had seen her there last night. But I knew she didn’t realize she had been interdicted to the Court, and that ought to have been impossible. Bella had no idea of the full extent of her power.
“I don’t see why not, if she needs to retreat. I know what a whirl it can be here, m’dear.” They smiled at one another, and I could see the birth of an understanding between these two that relieved me. I had no desire to see Bella’s power tested, and none at all to see Court in smoking ruins. I had a feeling she could do that, if she really were angry, and the loose cannon he had accused her of being.
“When does Lom leave?” she asked him quietly, her wings still and folded shut behind her. I recognized the signs of a calm Bella, but also guessed she was riding an adrenaline high under that exterior.
“Tomorrow morning?” The king looked at me and I shrugged. I could leave tonight, but it was up to him. The sooner I went, the sooner I was back, and I just wanted to get back and have a long talk with Bella, preferably outside the borders of Underhill.
“Then, if you will excuse us, sire, I would like to have another dance before bedtime.” She smiled demurely at him. He looked startled for a second, surveying her in all her red-dress glory, then threw back his head in a bellow of laughter.
“Go on and enjoy yourself. Dam’me if I don’t wish I could join you,” he ended wistfully.
“And why not, sir? I am sure Lom would give up the floor to you - I practically had to drag him out the first time.”
“You’re good for him, girl.”
I spoke up at this, “in the room, sir. And she’s a menace to my peace of mind.”
He laughed again, waving us out while his shoulders shook in helpless chortles. I fled before he decided to be even more unnerving and tease me. Bella took my elbow in the hall.
Chapter 35 - Sealing the Deal
I realized she was steering me firmly away from the ballroom and felt surprised. “I thought you wanted another dance?”
“I want a raincheck on that. Right now, I need to talk to you. Somewhere safe?”
I realized she didn’t know where was safe and where wasn’t. She realized here at Court, listeners were everywhere. “My place.”
The words were barely out of my mouth before the bubble snapped into place around us, and an interminable second later, we were in the still-darkened living room of my house, and I had my arms full of sobbing Bella. Startled at the sudden about-face from her cheer of a moment earlier, I rubbed her back and let her cling.
“So-sorry,” she gasped out after a moment. “I- I didn’t mean to do that. And I’m making you wet...”
I pulled her closer. “Cry if you need to and don’t apologize. That was an unpleasant shock, I understand.”
Through everything we had been through, I had never seen her cry. She might have late at night, I knew she had nightmares about the beings she had killed, because she had told me that. But she had never broken down, and I wasn’t sure what to say to her now. I had just seen her life crushed, her dreams taken away, and she had laughed and flirted at the end of it. There was a steel to this woman, but also... She hiccupped to a stop finally and tried to pull away. I kept rubbing her back, feeling the ridges where her wings connected to bone, and gently working knots out of those muscles with my fingertips. She sighed, muffled, into the shoulder of my coat.
“That fe-feels good, thank you.”
I wasn’t sure if she meant the massage, or just being held, and it didn’t really matter. She needed me.
“What am I going to do?” she whispered into my neck.
“I can’t answer that for you.”
“I know. I just...” She sniffed and lifted her head up to look at me. “I can’t go home again.”
“You did decide to stay Underhill just...” I had to think. So much had happened, had it only been a day? “Yesterday.”
“But I had options, then.”
“You have options now.” I led her to the couch without letting go of her. I’m not sure if I thought she was going to fly away, or if it was an excuse to hold on to her one last time, but I didn’t take time to analyse it. “You are stronger than you realize, Bella.”
She cuddled into my shoulder as we sat together. “And if I ran away he would come after me. He sees me as a threat.”
“You are a potential threat.” I pointed out gently. “If he knew about the library he would have you under lock and key right now. You don’t know the kind of power you can tap into with that. Alger has some inkling, but he’s more interested in it as an academic.”
“Can he take it out?”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I know I did this to you. Had I any idea...”
“I know you only wanted to give me the tools I needed to survive. And it’s saved both of our lives, so... I’m glad I have it.” She sighed and leaned her head back, closing her eyes. I looked down at her, seeing the teardrops still glistening on her lashes. She went on without opening her eyes. “Lom... what does the Queen do?”
“You have the library.” I smiled down at her and then gave into temptation and kissed her forehead.
She tilted her head to one side and brought her hand up, pulling me down enough to reach my mouth and kissed me back. After a long moment, she spoke, lip to lip with me. “I’m not giving this up.”
I leaned back far enough to look into her eyes. “Give what up?”
“Kissing you.” She smiled and I let her do it again.
“Bella...” I wanted to let this progress, to go where we both so badly wanted it to take us. “It’s not possible. This would not be good for you.”
“Why not?”
“I’m a Pixie. I’m not... you can’t...” I stopped, not sure how to tell her that, as Queen, she would have to choose her affairs carefully, and never with those seen as lower caste than the Fairy Court denizens. She would be expected to use pillow talk for diplomacy with foreign nobles,
to seal deals with a kiss, and more. Human mores and Underhill ease with sexuality were two different beasts, and that, I was sure, she had no idea about. It wouldn’t be in the library. Bella was a faithful woman, and if not a virgin, close enough to for it not to matter. She wasn’t going to like this.
She surprised me with her little gurgle of laughter. “I’m an American. We don’t respect the nobility.”
And with that offhand comment I realized she was right. She would never see us as fairy and pixie, master and servant. She saw me as male, and herself as female. It would scandalize Court, but I had never cared about that before.
“What do you want, Bella?”
She started to open her mouth, and I hastily amended my question. “Tonight. From me... you wanted to talk?”
Damn the woman. I was perpetually losing my cool around her, and having an arm around those warm, bare shoulders and the taste of her on my lips was certainly not helping. She lifted an eyebrow, a small smile playing on her lips.
“You’re offering to actually answer questions?”
“Within reason.” I had to maintain my dignity somewhere.
Bella snorted and sat up a little, rearranging herself, and her wings, so she wasn’t leaning entirely on me. I found I missed the contact, even knowing it would have put my arm to sleep.
“What was she like?”
I knew what Bella was asking. The Queen who had come before her. There were doubtless biographies in the library, but Bella knew I would have seen her in a way few others could. It wasn’t a question she could ask anyone - well, perhaps Alger - and get an unbiased answer to.
“She was capricious.” I stopped and thought a moment. I didn’t want to give her a picture colored too much by my dislike, but I knew it would come through nonetheless. “I didn’t like her, you understand. She cordially despised me, and my kind. We were... dust beneath her feet, simply pawns to move around the board and gain her what she wanted.”
“Oh...” Bella’s gasp as the import of what I was telling her sank in was followed by a kiss on my cheek. “I am sorry.”
Pixie Noir (Pixie for Hire Book 1) Page 24