by Shae Shannon
He gulped the cold tea, leaning back in his chair with one hand behind his head and his legs straight out and crossed.
EmmaLee didn’t know how to respond, so she just giggled.
“So, are you gonna take ’er out tonight, girl? Lilly said that Tina called this mornin’. It is Friday, ya know. I got the impression that you have been neglecting the poor girl lately from the chatter your momma went on and on about. You work too hard to be so young, and it’s time you learned to relax a little.”
“Yep, I can’t want to see how she drives. I never thought I would have a new truck, much less a perfectly purple one! Tina is going to freak.” Her whole face lit up. She had stabbed another piece of bacon with her fork and was lifting it to her mouth when she almost dropped it, and all but knocked her plate off the table at the same time. Lyndon was standing in the doorway, glaring at her. Lilly and Jeremy turned to find out what had made the drastic weather change in her emotions. Jeremy sat up, his posture stiffening. Lilly walked over and took a chair on the other side of EmmaLee in a protective gesture.
EmmaLee could hear the blood rush through her ears violently. She couldn’t breathe. How was she going to handle this? Her heart ached because Lyndon was mad at her. She hated it, but didn’t know how to fix the dung heap of a mess.
* * * *
Lyndon had heard the voices echoing from the kitchen, and decided that was probably where Emmie was. When he reached the kitchen door, he froze. Her eyes were almost swollen shut from crying, and her little nose was bright red. His gut twisted in guilt. Son of a bitch, he had hurt her. It totally amazed him how she could melt his heart just by being in a room.
Now, she sat looking at him like he was Jack the Ripper. Fuck. He had absolutely no idea how to fix this without making it ten times worse. Women and their emotions was a foreign language to him. Normally, he just avoided any emotional issue. With Emmie, he couldn’t. It didn’t make him mad that Jase had slept with her. It did however make him jealous that he hadn’t. He was irate that his little brother had figured out that she was meant to be more than a sister. Jase had overcome all of the inner turmoil that all three brothers shared over the girl. When the shit’s sake did he get so smart?
Lyndon had longed after the girl for so long, and repeatedly told himself she was off-limits. She was family, and he wasn’t supposed to have feelings for her. So, he rationalized it into a sibling relationship. His overpowering protectiveness, the way she played the strings to his heart when a single tear fell. All screamed for his attention, but he persistently dismissed any stray thought of the kind. It was obvious his parents seemed to be involved now, and whether he liked it or not, he had to walk into the dragon’s den and face the fire that was about to be unleashed. He pushed off of his perch in the doorway and strode over to the empty chair at the table. “Hey, Momma, Dad.” His voice dropped into a softer tone before he said, “Hey, Emmie.” His mother’s stare was like razor blades shooting out in rapid fire. He huffed an unconscious, deep, sigh. When Mom and Dad didn’t answer, you knew things were about to get rough.
“Son, I think you and I need to have a private conversation in the barn later. Right now, your mother wants a few words.” Oh shit. That was usually the term for “get your ass to the barn so when I tear your ass up your screams and cries won’t upset your momma.” Even as a grown man, a shiver ran up his spine at the memory of the worn leather belt against his bare ass. They were never abused, but they damn sure learned a lesson when it was needed.
“Yes, sir.” He turned his full attention to his momma. “Ma’am?”
“Son, I don’t know details on what took place today. What I do know is that I ran into a very hysterically upset young lady on my way in from my sewing group. Now, you wouldn’t happen to know why such a sweet, caring, little thing could be broken so badly, would you?”
And, there was the guilt. No matter what they did, their mom was the queen at making them feel like shit. If they didn’t see wrong in whatever they had done, after the lecture their mother gave, they did. And if still they didn’t see the light, a trip to the barn guaranteed a definite enlightenment.
He thought of how he could explain, but knew there was no excuse or way to even begin to justify his actions. “I…I might have been the cause of it. I need to talk to Emmie, privately.”
“If and when she decides to talk to you, you will treat her with the utmost respect and care. Do you understand me?” Her voice pierced the air around them.
“Of course, Momma. I was out of line, and I plan on making things right again. There is somethin’ I need to say, in front of you and Pa.” His eyes darted to EmmaLee, who sat in a sea of confusion. Her cute little innocent look drew the corners of his mouth in an upward tilt, slightly. He could feel both of his parents’ questioning stares heating his skin, but refused to break eye contact.
“Emmie, I know I have a lot of apologizing to do. But, I want you to know that I wasn’t mad at what I saw. I was mad at myself. My little brother has figured out that loving you isn’t wrong. He got over the inner ‘right and wrong’ bullshit and went to the girl that filled his heart.” He paused, trying to maintain his voice from shaking like a shy, pubescent teenager.
“Go on, son.” Curiosity coated each word his father spoke.
“The truth is…well, I…Jase…I have been in love with you for a very long time. I fought it because I thought it was the right thing to do. When I seen you wrapped up in Jase’s arms, realization slammed into me like a bronking bull at a hot summer night rodeo. Before, I thought that the best thing for you was to have a brother who would protect you and always be there for you. I thought that the security of knowing that I would never lose you would be enough. It isn’t. You are ours, Emmie. I know it, Jase knows it, and sooner or later our bonehead oldest brother will know it.” After he managed to spit out the unfamiliar emotions, he slumped down in his chair, feeling defeated and relieved at the same time. This girlie emotional shit sucks. Why can’t girls just accept a cold beer propped in front of the television watching a good fight as emotional bonding? Anything can be wrong between guys, and that fixes it, with no mushy shit spoken. Women are too damned complicated.
The silence was deafening. Jeremy sat, looking deep in thought. His father was one who mentally considered everything through before speaking. His mom usually had something to say on every subject, but even she was rendered speechless. He was unable to read Emmie. The blank expression and lack of words made his stomach drop into his toes. Never in his life had the feelings of a girl affected him. He worried about what she could be thinking and feeling. He worried about pouring his feelings onto the table and being rejected. All of this “caring” crap sucked. Realization slammed into him. It was clear now why all of his cousins and friends acted like they had bumped their head when it came to their wives. He had always said he wouldn’t be a pussy dumbass over a woman. Now, without a doubt, when it came to the beauty sitting in front of him, if his definition of pussy dumbass meant putting her first above all and doing whatever it took to make her smile, he was the poster boy for it.
The sound of a chair grating against the wood flooring made Lyndon’s heart flip-flop in his chest. He hung on to the air, waiting for whatever was about to come.
“Please excuse me,” said EmmaLee in a quiet, soft tone before she stepped around Lilly and walked out of the room. Lyndon began to stand and go after her, but his father’s firm hand on his arm halted his pursuit.
“Let her go, son. Give her some space to think. The poor girl has had one hell of a time the last few days.” A knowing look etched in Jeremy’s features. “You are going to have to do some major reconnaissance and damage control, Lyndon. Women are funny creatures. It doesn’t take much to break them, but it’s a hell of a time putting things back together. I have learned that groveling and gifts are a good start.” He flashed a sassy smile at Lilly.
“It takes more than buying flowers or chocolates, son. You have to tap into your heart and show
her how you feel. It will take some time to prove it to her, but when it does sink in, it will stay there forever. Flowers and chocolate simply opens that door to give you the opportunity to show those things.” Lilly placed her hand over his in a loving reassurance.
Jeremy’s expression changed, showing the depth of the next words spoken. “Here is some advice for you to remember the rest of your life. If something is easy, it usually ain’t worth havin’. If a relationship is easy, it ain’t a real relationship. Love is hard. It is a constant battle that takes all of your heart. If it ever gets effortless, you know damn well that you screwed something up and need to pick up your boot heels and figure it out.”
The vague advice actually made sense to Lyndon. He had never thought about it that way before. Then again, he had never truly loved a woman before. He knew he had to start trying to fix his royal fuck up, but had no idea where to even begin. Why ain’t there a Love for Dumbasses guide? Every man should be issued one when they step into manhood. “What do I do now?” Lyndon slumped even farther in his chair, lost in a new territory of confusion.
“You will figure it out, baby. Just follow your heart.” His mother hugged his neck, and walked out of the room.
“Well that explains it all loud and clear. Geez, Dad, why is this crap so damn confusing?” His eyebrows furrowed together, showing the building frustration mounting inside of him.
“I would love to tell you that after all these years of experience that I have it all figured out, but I don’t. Every issue requires a new solution. That is when the man goes fishing, hunting, or just in the great outdoors to get answers from God and the universe. And, it lets you get away and avoid screwin’ up any more!” The smile in Jeremy’s eyes lightened Lyndon’s ever-growing sour mood.
“Thanks, Dad. Well, I guess I’m gonna go lookin’ for her to see if I can ease back into her good graces.” A deep sigh raspberried through his lips.
“You might wanna start out at the calf barn. She has always had a special connection with animals, and after delivering that calf, I have a feeling that one won’t be going to auction.”
“Good idea. Thanks, Pop.” He got up and took a chug out of the milk jug. As he was walking out, he turned to face Jeremy. “Oh, and Dad?”
“Yeah, son?”
“Thank you.”
“Yer welcome, boy.”
With that, he turned on his heels and headed to find his girl.
* * * *
The past few days had been a freaking record-breaking avalanche of shit. EmmaLee rubbed her temples, trying to ease the pounding and erase the past few days from her brain. When Lyndon had erupted, her heart had shattered. After, his confessions shook up those pieces and scattered them everywhere. She had to escape everything and get away from it all for a little while. There were no rational thoughts left in her brain. It felt like someone had performed a lobotomy and replaced her brain with pudding. So, she saddled her favorite mare, Gypsy, and rode like the wind. Nothing could calm the ever-mounting mountain of emotions like being on the back of a horse and letting the breeze and countryside wash your soul. She went to the one place she didn’t have to think—to see the newborn calves. Animals had always been therapeutic to her. The warm sun caressed over her skin, warming her inside and out. The soothing sounds of birds chirping, cows mooing, squirrels chattering, and the occasional snort or whinny from Gypsy calmed her. She sprawled out on a pile of hay next to Rosie, the cow she had helped deliver not long ago. Her eyes drifted closed, letting the world fade away and the outdoors cleanse her soul. Visions of all three brothers floated through her mind. Her heart ached in a longing to be wrapped in the protective embrace of them all. The moments she had experienced with Jase were a dream come true, but they only fulfilled a small part of that dream. Could she ever get over Dixon and Lyndon and just be satisfied with Jase? At least the problems she faced with her ratty house and broke down truck were simple. When it came to her heart and the Dennison trio, a whole new world of complex problems dropped on her plate. The sad thing was, she wouldn’t pass up a single moment with any of them. She literally jumped at any opportunity to be around them. How pathetic did that make her? Now she had one that had feelings for her, and she still wasn’t happy. Love sucks.
* * * *
Lyndon slowed Fire as they neared the south pasture, letting his eyes scan over the grounds in search of Emmie. When he reached the gate, he spotted her lying curled up in the hay with the faithful calf by her side. A huge smile stretched in place at the sight before him. Only Emmie would take a nap with the cows. Her arm rested across the body of the little black-and-white heifer, with their heads nose to nose. They were a sight of pure sweetness. He grabbed his cell phone and snapped a picture, documenting the memory forever engraved in his heart.
He contemplated whether to disturb them or not. She was so peaceful he couldn’t resist getting close to her. With his mind made up to not wake the sleeping angels, he quietly tied up Fire and snuck over to sprawl out by her side. Satisfied that she still slumbered, he pulled his black Stetson over his eyes and let relaxation wash over him.
An hour later, Lyndon woke, with the sense that someone was watching them. Tipping his hat up, a dark shadow loomed from above. He hurriedly pushed up on his elbows and blinked frantically to adjust his eyes to the binding rays of the sun. His focus soon zoomed in on Dixon, who had somehow taken on the pissed off appearance of the Hulk. In a harsh, loud whisper, Dixon said, “Just what the fuck do you think you are doing?”
Lyndon pushed his finger to his lips, shushing the raging oaf, but it was too late. EmmaLee’s eyes popped open, and surprise washed over her. She turned first to Lyndon, giving him a questioning look before eyeing a very scary looking Dixon. “What is going on?” Her sleepy voice and eyes fought for clarity.
“I was just about to ask Lyndon here the same thing. So, bro, what the fuck are you doing out here with EmmaLee?” he said, making it evident his temper hung on by less than a thread.
“Dixon, go back to the house. I will discuss things with you later.” Lyndon’s head nodded toward a wide-eyed EmmaLee, giving Dixon an unspoken explanation and command to keep his big mouth shut and not be a jackass like he had only hours before.
“Fuck you. You are going to answer me now, while I decide whether to kill you or just beat you enough where you wish you were dead.” Both of his gargantuan hands balled into fists at his sides.
Lyndon stood, stepping close to his oldest brother. “Damn it, Dixon, I said shut the mother fuck up and we will talk later in private.” His voice had lowered, tangling with a dangerousness most wouldn’t question.
“Little brother, you are about to open something you can’t handle. I come out here to check the calves, and find you lying in the damn hay with Emm. Now, you have exactly three damn seconds to start talking before I stomp your stupid ass in the ground. Why were you lying out here with our damn sister?”
EmmaLee’s hands went into fists at her sides. The escalation in the conversation had sent a massive adrenaline rush through her. Before they realized it, she had moved to stand right beside them. Her voice interrupted Lyndon before he had a chance to respond to the threats that Dixon was issuing. “Well isn’t this a fuckin’ déjà vu. Is there a script somewhere that you all take turns reading from? I swear, from now on, when y’all feel the need to attack me, or blow up like a damn grenade over something you know nothing about or have no right to stick your nose in, let me know! I will just set up a time all of you boys can get it out of your system! Now, listen to me, both of you ogre horses’ asses, I am not your sister! I didn’t ask to be put in the ‘sister’ category! I may have grown up with you three, and your parents may be the only damn parents I have, but that does not make me blood related! I am sick of being told that having feelings for you three is wrong! There is nothing fucking wrong with it! Now both of you go to hell and leave me the fuckity fuck alone!” She stomped over to Gypsy, her steps so hard she left indentations in the grass. She untie
d the reins, hoisted herself up, and hauled ass out across the field without another word.
Lyndon watched the mare bolt across the plains in a dead run. Both men stood, speechless as they watched the hot little pissed off siren barreling across the open land. When she became nothing but a dot on the horizon, Dixon turned to Lyndon. “What the heck was that all about?” Some of the anger had drained off of him, having been replaced with confusion. His face was etched in a dumbfounded expression while he waited for his brother to shine some light on what the hell had just taken place.
“It’s a long story. One that will require a large supply of alcohol. Mount up, let’s head back to the house and grab a beer, or twenty.” Lyndon turned and got on Fire, waiting with reins in hand for Dixon to follow suit.
When he pulled the wild, exotic, mesmerizing black stallion next to him, he said, “Let’s go see if we can fix this shit.” Lyndon nodded, and they both rode at a slow, thoughtful pace in the direction of the house.
Chapter 6
The warm sun had started its descent behind the tree line, leaving a watercolor rainbow in its wake. The singing of the crickets buzzed through the air, and lightning bugs decorated the fields. There was nothing more thaumaturgic than a warm Oklahoma night.
The boys returned back at the homestead to find EmmaLee’s truck gone from the driveway. When they entered the house, Lilly met them with her hands on her hips, and an evil stare. “You boys are just batting a thousand today, aren’t you! I swear if I didn’t know better I would think that you three were dropped on your head when you were little.” With a huff, she turned on her heel and went back to the blueberry cobbler she was preparing for dinner. Both boys looked at each other, shrugging their shoulders in unison, and followed the obviously perturbed flour-covered woman.