by Susan Lewis
to Washington. Wouldn’t discuss Tom
or anything else. D.
‘D?’ Katie asked, when she read it.
‘Daphne Soliman. She’s an Egyptian lawyer, based at their consulate in Karachi,’ Michelle explained, after forwarding the message to Elliot. ‘I should probably call to let him know I’ve sent it.’
Katie stood back as she disconnected, and enjoying the sense of intrigue was about to pick up her tea when the phone started to ring.
Being the closest, Michelle answered.
‘Mrs Kiernan?’ said the voice at the other end. ‘It’s Mr Webb here, Molly’s headmaster.’
Michelle’s heart paused in its beat, for there was almost never a good reason for a head teacher to be in touch with a parent. ‘Uh, it’s not Mrs Kiernan,’ she said, wishing she could pretend to be in an attempt to spare Katie what might be coming. ‘I’ll put her on.’
As she handed over the receiver she mouthed who it was, and felt even worse as she saw Katie’s spirits draw into a knot of fear.
‘Hello Mr Webb,’ Katie said into the phone. ‘Is everything all right with Molly?’
‘She’s fine,’ came the hasty reply. ‘No accidents. Perfect health, but I would like you to come to the school for a little chat, if it’s not too much trouble.’
Wasting no time on relief that Molly’s physical being was intact, Katie’s concern instantly took off in another direction. ‘What about?’ she asked. ‘Is there a problem with her work?’
‘Not exactly, but something has come up that we need to bring to your attention. Could you come tomorrow, around three?’
‘Yes, yes of course. Around three.’ As she rang off her anxious eyes went to Michelle. ‘He wants to see me,’ she said. ‘I hope to God she hasn’t gone and done something stupid.’
‘He didn’t give you any idea what it was?’
Katie shook her head. ‘The question now,’ she said, stuck in the nightmare of a hundred different horrors, ‘is do I interrogate her when she comes home so I’ll know what I’m walking into tomorrow? Or do I save myself for Mr Webb?’ Closing her eyes, she put her hands over her face and groaned. ‘I love her with all my heart and soul, I swear I do, and I know already I’m going to regret saying this, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could forget I was a mother and throw myself into an orgy of unadulterated self-indulgence.’
Michelle smiled. ‘The plaintive cry of a million mothers around the world,’ she reminded her.
Katie shot her a look that made her laugh.
‘I could always go to the school for you,’ Michelle offered.
Katie hesitated, seeming to like the idea, but then she was shaking her head. ‘No. You two should reach more of a rapport before you get involved in any difficulties at school, otherwise the embarrassment factor could raise its ugly head, and I’m sure you’ll agree, one monster less is what we need right now, not one more.’
Chapter Six
MOLLY WAS SHOVING her way past the queue of children waiting to go into the village shop when her mobile bleeped, letting her know there was a text. Having to put her can of Coke and crisps on a wall next to some moron’s bike, she fished the phone out of her bag and clicked on to read.
5.30.
Mtg of DOLs.
Feeling totally cool about being a DOL, and cooler still that she was going to be late for the right reason, she quickly sent a message back saying,
Mtg sm1 fm net @ 5.
Wl b thr aftr.
Hope nt rank.
Not wanting to think any more about rank, and how she’d just snogged it in the shape of Rank Rusty – hurl, gag, vomit – she tucked her mobile back in her rucksack, picked up her Coke and crisps and crossed the road towards the pub.
She was rounding the corner into Sheep Lane when a text came back asking her where the meeting was so they could be nearby to make sure no-one tried to rape or kill her.
Relieved she hadn’t made anything up she texted back the details telling them to be on the bridge – out of earshot but close enough to see – and was just putting her phone away again when she noticed the Porsche parked right outside their house. A Porsche! Like how cool was that? Who did her mother know who owned a Porsche? They used to know loads of people who had smart cars in London, but never anyone round here.
Dreaming of how lush it would be if it were Brad’s car and he’d just come round to pick her up, she sauntered in through the gate. Downing the last of her Coke, she meandered round the corner of the house to find her mother and Michelle sitting at the garden table with some blonde woman she kind of recognized.
‘Molly, here you are,’ Katie said.
‘No, I’m like somewhere else,’ Molly retorted.
‘Well I won’t argue that,’ Katie said dryly. ‘Come and say hello to Laurie. Do you remember her?’
‘Molly,’ Laurie smiled, getting up to greet her. ‘You’ve grown up a lot since I last saw you. How are you?’
‘Oh, I know who you are,’ Molly said, remembering now. ‘You’re Laurie Forbes, off the telly. Is that your car?’
‘My boyfriend’s actually.’
‘It is like, so cool,’ Molly told her. ‘That is so what I want my boyfriend to drive, when I get one.’
‘You mean you don’t have one now?’
Molly really wanted to say she did, but her mother was there and she was the last person she could tell about Brad. Already she was looking at her all like, curious, as though she was expecting some huge revelation or grandchildren or something. Bloody hell. Why did anyone have to mention boyfriends?
‘I can take you for a spin if you like,’ Laurie offered.
Startled at first, Molly’s eyes quickly lit up, then realizing she probably didn’t have time before she was due to meet Rank Rusty, she said, ‘I’ve got to go out. My friend’s helping me with my homework,’ and shooting her mother a look that Katie instantly mirrored, she tried not to laugh and started inside.
‘There you are,’ Katie said to Michelle, ‘all you need is a Porsche.’
‘I heard that,’ Molly snapped as Michelle laughed.
‘It was just a joke,’ Katie assured her.
‘Yeah, well you make me sick when you do that,’ Molly said sulkily, ‘and you’re drunk.’
‘I’ve had one glass of wine,’ Katie cried in protest. ‘Well, maybe two.’
Molly’s eyes narrowed, but she said no more, merely opened the fridge and took out a Twix. ‘Did you get my magazines this morning?’ she shouted as she started up the stairs.
‘They’re on your bed.’
Bloody good job, Molly was thinking, or there really would have been a row, because Sugar was giving away a poster of Busted this week and she had to have it. At least that was one good thing about her mother, she didn’t get her knickers in a twist about the posters any more, and it was like, so brilliant lying on the bed totally blissing out as she looked at them all and listened to her CD and imagined she was being snogged by Brad.
Out in the garden they were keeping their voices low as they talked about Molly. ‘She’s a stunner,’ Laurie was saying, ‘and quite developed for her age.’
‘Tell me about it,’ Katie groaned. ‘I just wish her mind was as developed. Or do I? Maybe not.’
They laughed, and Katie picked up the bottle to refill their glasses.
‘Now where were we?’ she said, casting her mind back to what they’d been discussing before Molly arrived. ‘I know, you were about to fill me in on this Sherry person you hired as a researcher and who ended up being arrested for trying to off you.’
Laurie winced and laughed, though she supposed it was an accurate enough precis, but as she began recounting the story she was thinking more of how relaxed and even peaceful Katie seemed, in spite of the terrible havoc that had been wrought on her looks, as well as her body, so what had it done to the rest of her? On the surface, she clearly wanted everyone to think she was still the same, for the way she’d greeted Laurie had been vintage Kat
ie, saying she knew she looked like a Halloween ghoul, but be thankful she’d remembered the wig and hadn’t gone for the lipstick, because that was really scary, and now Laurie must feel free to be horrified while she got on and opened the wine.
Laurie could hardly begin to imagine the kind of courage it must take to come to terms with what she was facing, never mind being able to make light of it. How would she feel, she wondered, if she were in Katie’s shoes? How would she deal with the terrible knowledge that soon she would have to let go of the people she loved, and the life she treasured? It seemed so unreal. It must be changing her perspective on everything, perhaps in ways she hadn’t yet realized. And what was it like for Michelle, watching it happen, feeling powerless to ease the pain, or lessen the suffering. Having lost her own sister, though to a very different kind of death, Laurie’s heart went out to Michelle. Her position she could more easily imagine, knowing how utterly shattered she’d been when Lysette had taken her own life.
‘So, are you going to tell us what you’re working on now?’ Katie demanded, after she and Michelle had finished enjoying Laurie’s behind-the-scenes story.
Laurie inhaled the crisp afternoon air, loving how peaceful and relaxing it was here, light years away from the usual chaos of her life. ‘Well, Rose is in Iraq,’ she said, taking another sip of wine, ‘and one of our researchers is looking into the number of girls who go missing from Eastern European resorts each year, so that about has our overseas quota covered for the moment, which leaves me trying to come up with something on the domestic front. And as a matter of fact, I’m wondering if I might have found it.’
Katie frowned. ‘You mean Tom’s story?’ she said, not certain how it fitted into the definition of domestic.
‘No, though I guess it could turn out to be part of it,’ Laurie answered. Her eyes dropped to her glass as she continued to think through her idea, while wondering if it was acceptable even to suggest it.
‘Goodness, I’m intrigued now, aren’t you?’ Katie remarked to Michelle when the pause continued.
Michelle was watching Laurie closely.
Laurie glanced at her and, to her surprise, caught a very brief widening of the eyes, almost as though Michelle had read her thoughts and was telling her to go ahead.
‘Actually,’ Laurie said to Katie, ‘I was thinking about you, and what an excellent subject you’d make for a programme.’
Katie blinked, took a breath and found herself speechless.
‘You’d be a tremendous inspiration to women in your position,’ Laurie explained. ‘Your humour, your courage, the way you’re dealing with all you’re having to go through. It’s asking a lot, I know, but there are thousands, if not millions of people out there who’d get so much from your story, who’re genuinely interested in how you are, and how Katie Kiernan is dealing with the very disease we all live in such fear of.’
Katie was still stunned.
‘You had a huge and loyal following with your column,’ Laurie reminded her. ‘People from all walks of life used to read you every week, take in what you said, and often act on it …’
‘Or try to sue me,’ Katie cut in with a laugh.
‘Being controversial was your trademark. We all expected it and you never let us down. You’ve been sorely missed, Katie, and I think everyone would like to know how you are now, and to see that the old spark is still there, despite what you’re going through.’
Katie merely looked at her. Didn’t she realize it was all a front? There was nothing brave or inspirational about her, she was a coward, a weakling, a sham. In the end she turned to Michelle.
Michelle smiled and said nothing.
‘I know this has come right out of the blue,’ Laurie went on. ‘I had no idea before I got here that I was even going to suggest it, but I truly think it would make a fantastic programme. Naturally, I’d only shoot what you want us to, and I’d give you editorial control. Look, I’m probably going too fast. Take your time to think it over. There’s absolutely no pressure, and even if you decide to go with it and change your mind later, we’ll stop right away.’
Katie was looking slightly flushed as her eyes returned to Michelle. ‘What do you think?’ she asked, feeling a bit dazed.
Michelle was about to answer when music suddenly started to blare from Molly’s bedroom window. She glanced up, then speaking slightly louder than before, she said, ‘I think you should do as Laurie says and not make a decision right away. There’s a lot to consider, and while I agree you’d be a tremendous inspiration for other women in your position, it’s not what we think that counts. It’s what you think, and how you’d feel having a camera right there when the nurse is around, or when the pain’s particularly bad, or when you’re not quite as mobile as you are now.’
‘But it would be here when we help with Tom’s story,’ Katie pointed out. ‘I mean, if we do. I’d like people to think that I was involved to the last, particularly on something with all of you. I’d be going out on a note to feel proud of – and for Molly to feel proud of too.’
‘What about Molly?’ Michelle said gently. ‘Would you want her to be a part of it?’
Sobered by the prospect, Katie’s eyes moved out across the lane. She was thinking of the summons from Molly’s headmaster, and how it would be to have a camera there while she dealt with something like that. She needed to go no further, for as much as she might want this for herself, she knew already she had to turn it down. It just wouldn’t be fair to subject Molly’s turmoil to any kind of public scrutiny, particularly when she didn’t even know yet that her mother was going to die.
‘She wouldn’t have to be in it, if you don’t want her to be,’ Laurie said.
Katie considered that, but it would mean shutting her daughter out, and she wasn’t sure that was a good idea either. On the other hand, she could at least give it some more thought, because she didn’t want to turn Laurie down flat, and there might be ways round it with Molly. She wondered how deep Laurie would want to go though. Showing her on the phone or computer, researching and briefing as Tom’s story unfolded, was one thing; seeing her in the bedroom, or at the hospital, or watching her dosing up with morphine, that could be another altogether.
‘Please believe me,’ Laurie said, as her mobile started to bleep, ‘we’ll only do whatever you’re comfortable with.’ The text message came up:
Call me when you
can. N.
Thankful no-one could see the way she reacted inside, she cleared the phone, saying, ‘Sorry, where were we?’
‘Tossing me around on the horns of a dilemma,’ Katie reminded her. ‘And it’s very tempting, I have to admit, but I’ll need more time to think about it.’
‘Of course. It’ll take hours of discussion anyway to come up with the right format and how deep you want us to go, though at this stage, I’m already inclined to say that Molly should be off limits.’
Katie nodded.
‘Personally I think we should keep an open mind about that,’ Michelle said. ‘There might come a time when she wants to contribute, and as it’s about her mother …’ She broke off as Molly suddenly cranked up the volume.
‘Westlife,’ Katie informed her. Then to Laurie, ‘Tell you what, why don’t you stay for dinner? We’ve still got endless gossip to catch up on, and we can talk some more about this. Unless you have to get back …’
‘No, there’s no rush,’ Laurie assured her. ‘So thank you, I’d love to.’
Katie’s delight beamed from her smile. ‘I wish I could offer you a bed for the night to save you the drive later,’ she said, ‘but there’s only a sofa spare, I’m afraid. Tom slept on it when he came though, and if it’s big enough for him …’
Michelle laughed. ‘Laurie can have my bed,’ she said.
‘Or Molly could sleep in with me,’ Katie suggested.
‘No, no,’ Laurie protested. ‘I’m not taking anyone’s bed. I can book into the pub where we had lunch. It’s a hotel too, so I’ll give them a call and s
ee if there’s room.’
By the time she’d made her reservation Michelle had gone into the kitchen to start sorting out what they could eat, while Katie tottered about with a hose and glass of wine. ‘I’m so glad you came,’ she said to Laurie, watering a large blue hydrangea. ‘It’s perked us all up no end, even Molly, having a Porsche parked outside.’
Laughing, Laurie said, ‘Before I have any more to drink, I should go into Chippenham and pick up a few things for the night. Do you think Molly might like a lift to wherever she’s going?’
‘Are you kidding? In that car? Go on up and ask her, but be careful to knock first, then wait for permission to enter.’
Totally disgusted with everything she’d heard, Molly turned her music up even louder, so there was no way she could hear them now. Like, did they think she was deaf, or something, going on about making her mum the star of some programme, like they were the stupid Osbournes, or something? Mrs Cool with her Cancer who could inspire the nation. Ugh! No! Molly’s hands pressed hard against her ears, as though to block it all out. She rolled over on the bed and pressed her face to the pillow, drawing her hands and elbows in even tighter against her. She hated the world. Hated it, hated it. Why couldn’t it just go away and leave her alone? Why didn’t everyone go? Michelle, Laurie Forbes, everyone. She felt like running and running and ending up somewhere they’d never ever find her. If Brad was her boyfriend she could go to him and he’d make them all leave her alone, stop them saying stupid things that just got on her nerves and made her so angry she wanted to thump the bed, and thump them and scream and kick …
Someone was knocking on the door, but they could just go away! She didn’t want anyone in here. This was her room. It was private and they could just fuck off and leave her alone.
They knocked again so she drew the pillow tighter over her head.
‘Molly!’
She didn’t recognize the voice, but then realized it was Laurie Forbes. What was she doing up here? Just because she had a Porsche didn’t give her the right to come banging on people’s doors. And anyway, this was all her fault, talking to her mum as though she was like, dying, or something, when everyone knew the treatment was over so she was getting better now. So why didn’t she just get lost? Go back to London where she belonged and take Michelle with her?