by Dark Angel
"You don't sound very fine."
"I walked out on them. I left all of them because they refuse to leave the gang. I just can't take it anymore. Wade got injured and there was blood everywhere and it just reminded me of ... dad."
"Oh, sweetie. It's alright. It's only natural. Your daddy's in a better place now. And he's lookin’ down on you, and I'll bet you he's so proud of you standing up to those three big guys like that. The hardest part of loving someone is leaving them."
"Oh Tammi, I miss them so much. And I feel all alone. I'm just alone."
"No, sweetheart. You stay strong. You stood your ground on an important issue. They can't expect you to just watch them die. You deserve to have a real life, a happy life."
"You think?" I try the tears on the sleeve of my sweatshirt as I move out to the old, paint-chipped porch where at least I can see the stars to give me comfort.
"Trust me, they will come back. You are worth leaving that club for. Those men have all these false ideas about what honor means. But it means to stand by the people you love. If they love you they will find you. I promise."
I knew she would help me to see the difference between reality and my pain. She's right. I did what I had to do.
I sniffle and she makes a joke about how much better the big city is. It makes me laugh and I'm jolted for a minute into happiness.
"You always cheer me up."
"Well that's what I'm here for … and Zeva, I'm always going to be here for you. Just remember, the offer still stands about you being able to come out here. I think you'd really like it. If those guys don't come crawlin’ back to you…well, then you just get on an airplane and come over here. You can start brand new in New York City. It's the city of dreams or some such shit."
I seriously consider the idea of starting over for a minute. But then I say what I know I need to say, "I can't, Tammi. You know I can't leave them. I have to try to pull them away from this life. Maybe I can help them to see ... but thank you for the offer."
"Well, NYC will always be here. And so will I. Just call if you need anything."
"Thank you, so much. Take care, okay? I don't need something happening to you also."
"Oh honey, trust me I will. This city is my playground."
"Thanks, Tammi, good night."
"’Night, sweetie."
We hang up and I cradle the phone to my chest. I feel closer to her already, and I feel like I can see my path forward.
I will always have Tammi at least.
My anger at the guys is cooling off, and more than anything, I feel sad that they just don't see how carefree and happy we could be without The Order. Our lives were just getting good, our relationship was starting, and then it all ended. I can still feel their rough hands on my body and it makes me come alive with desire. I'd give anything to be with just one of them right now…or better yet, all three. Never have I felt so full and adored as when I'm with them.
What we have is special and if they don't realize that…well, then they don't deserve me.
My dogs come out then, rushing into the kitchen and running between my legs. I pet their heads softly, my fingers running through their fur, and I allow myself a moment where I don’t think of anything.
This is going to be one lonely night.
Chapter 36
Zeva
I sigh softly to myself. It’s been three days since Tammi left. I wish the guys would just quit, but…I understand too. It’s family. That club is all they’ve had for a long time, at the end of the day, and they’ve built it up so well. But they have me now too. Doesn’t that matter? Maybe I’m being selfish, but I couldn’t stand to lose any of them. I’ve lost so much already to this life, and I’m getting so tired of it. Was Tammi right? Should I have left?
I scratch both my dogs idly as I sit on my couch. I look around and am flooded with memories, both of my time growing up and more recent, with them. I smile softly to myself and sigh again. No, it was right to stay. It will take some time, but we’ll figure things out. Maybe we can bring the Honeypot out of the biker scene? It’d be really hard to just change who shows up though and if we did that they’d resent us and we’d lose all business, I guess.
I jump hard, startled by my phone ring. I look over and see Jason’s name on the screen. I hesitate for a moment. I don’t know if I’m ready to speak with any of them. It keeps ringing, and I just stare. The phone goes dark, unanswered. I sigh, cursing myself for my own cowardice.
I jump again as the phone lights back up, Jason’s name once again on the screen. I smile a little. He’s persistent, at least. I slowly reach out, then grab hold of my phone and click the answer button.
“Hey Jason…” I say. “How’s everything?”
“Umm…good. Things are going okay. Honeypot is almost fully repaired finally, everyone still standing is, well, still standing at least,” he says. I can tell there’s a lot he wants to say, but won’t.
“I’m glad to hear it. I think … I think I’ll be ready to come back to work once everything is fixed.”
“Good. You know, we miss you,” he says, more quietly.
“I miss you guys too. I just…needed some space is all,” I say. My dogs slowly get up and stretch, and then they both walk over to the window to stare outside.
“I get it, it’s alright. Things are rough around here still, I guess. We’ve been distracted, and some of the guys are starting to talk. They think we’re quitting the club.”
“Well, obviously that’s not true,” I say, a slightly bitter tone in my voice, and immediately regret it. There was only nervous silence in response.
A pair of sharp, angry barks roar up to cut into the quiet. I glance over at the two dogs at the window, their attention caught by something. I walk over and suddenly hear it myself; a louder than normal motorcycle heading toward my house.
“Wade and Alex are with you right, Jason?”
“Yeah why? Wait, who’s that in the background?”
“I don’t know…” I say as I watch them pull up to the road and dismount their bike. I can’t quite make out what they’re fiddling with at this distance. The figure takes off their jacket, and I see a bright white undershirt beneath. They pull at their jacket, seeming to be tearing at it. I see a light click, then something in their hand flare up in flames. They chuck it at my house and I realize too late what it is: a Molotov cocktail. It crashes through the second floor window, immediately flaring up my entire bedroom.
I scream. “Jason! He just threw a cocktail!”
“What? Who? ZEVA?!”
I’ve already dropped my phone, and I run outside with Seras and Walter. I scream at the shadowed figure, but they’ve already mounted their bike and are driving off. I hear a strange sputtering from the bike, and my ears are pounding from the volume it puts out, even at this distance. I stare after the rider as they round a corner.
I turn around, dejected, and stare at my house. The entire second floor is ablaze, and the flames are quickly working down to the lower level. Every memory of my life is held within those crumbling walls. Growing up, playing with my parents, everything they made for me and for us as a family.
All I can do is stare and cry.
Chapter 37
Wade
I jump off my bike and run up to Zeva, holding her tight. Jason and Alex are right behind me, and join us. There’s nothing we can do to stop the inferno that her house has become. We all sit and stare, no words that could comfort this moment. The heat is coming off and enveloping us in waves, but nothing can stop us from embracing Zeva in this moment.
A pair of fire trucks drive up and firemen pour out, scooting the four of us across the street. They hand us a blanket to wrap Zeva with as they attempt to salvage whatever they can of her house. Water pours in as Zeva stares, crying more at the sight of her only home crumbling in front of her. We turn her away from the nightmare and kneel to the ground with her, sitting her down in the dirt.
Seras nudges me from behind and whimp
ers. I reach out and scratch her ear.
“It’s okay, girl,” I say. “It’ll be okay.”
Walter comes over and curls himself up in Zeva’s lap to help comfort her, but Seras keeps nudging me. I look over and see black tatters clutched in the dog’s mouth. She drops it at my feet and I stare at it. It’s a black biker’s jacket.
“Iron Legion…some stragglers must've gotten to her,” I say, the fire in my voice hotter than the house behind us.
Alex picks it up and grips it tight. “Those motherfuckers…”
He holds it up to see a huge chunk torn out of it.
“That must've been what they used for the cocktail,” Jason said, staring at it and looking it over. “But…we have a problem.”
He turns it over for us all to see. The insignia on it isn’t Iron Legion. It’s our patch. The Order.
“What the fuck? Did they get one of our jackets?” I say.
“N-no…the guy…took it off himself,” Zeva stammers out from below us. “I couldn’t see him but it was the jacket he was wearing.”
I look at Alex and Jason, perplexed. They stare back at me with the same look. The stress of the past week, and of just today, has us at our limit. We can’t process what’s happening at the moment. A biker doesn’t wear another gang’s colors. Drug deals, framing, hits. It doesn’t matter; there’s still honor and pride in your own flag. This must have been one of our own.
“Do you think someone was talking?” Alex asks.
“Yeah but who has the balls for something like this?” I say. “I can’t think of someone under our own roof that’s a dirty snake like this…”
We all stand shaking our head, staring at the tattered jacket. I snatch it and toss it in the dirt and stomp it into the ground.
The firemen behind us are barking out directions to each other, directing the aim of the water spray. We turn around and watch, trying to drive the thoughts of betrayal from our mind. The flames are nearly extinguished. A pair ventures inside to check over the building, and another waits behind them to watch the structural integrity.
We collectively sigh at the horror, and I know that Jason and Alex are thinking what I’m thinking: this is all our fault.
Chapter 38
Jason
“I told you this would happen. There’s nothing good in the life you lead,” I hear someone say behind us, and I turn around on my heels to meet Cole’s steely gaze. Fucking great, just what we needed.
“What the fuck are you doin’ here?” Wade asks him, balling both his hands into fists.
“Righting a wrong,” Cole tells him flatly. “This life you lead … I hate it. You know that. But you’re my brother. And I know how you – all of you – care about her,” he continues, sighing heavily. “I’m not going to ask you to change, Wade. It’s your life. But I’m not going to sit around and watch everything go up in flames.”
“What does that mean?” I growl at him. I’ve never trusted Cole, but his words are disarming.
“It means it’s time we stop this bullshit,” he whispers, and then offers Wade his hand. Wade looks down at his brother’s hand, and then hesitantly reaches for it, taking it in his.
“We’re brothers,” he merely says, shaking Cole’s hand.
“We are,” Cole replies. “And as your brother, let me tell you something … didn’t you notice something weird about that bike as it drove off? I know I did.”
Realization dawns across my face. Wade and Alex see it and stare at me, waiting for something.
I don’t know what the fuck made Cole change his mind about us, but he just told me who the fucking asshole that tried to kill Zeva is. And for that, he has my respect.
“That dirty rotten goddamn low down snake ass mother fucking son of a bitch!” I yell out.
My fists are balled at my sides as I recall the phone call with Zeva. I heard the bike in the background. When it drove away, it was faint, but there was a familiar sputtering. It was loud, and I thought that meant it was closer, but looking at the tracks in front of her house…I know who it was.
“I…need to take care of this,” I say.
Alex grabs my shoulder. “Hey. Jason, fill us in. What the fuck?”
“It’s…I just need to take care of it. Don’t worry guys. This is over,” I say. I shrug his hand off my shoulder and give Zeva a quick, tight hug. “I’m sorry Zeva. I’ll make this right.”
I dash for my bike, jump on, and speed away. I knew exactly where he would be. I speed down the road, barely feeling the wind around me through my anger. I run multiple lights, cars honking after me constantly. I round the final corner and see Honeypot in the distance. I slide up to it and dismount my bike. I quickly scan the bikes outside and see exactly the one I’m looking for.
I open the door and scan the floor. It’s mostly operational, with just a few lights and the front door needing replaced now, so we have some girls back and dancing again. Most of the usual people are back in their seats, drinking and watching the girls. The atmosphere is a little more glum than usual, but almost back to its former glory. I see one guy in the corner not looking at any girl, his head down staring at his drink, his normal jacket missing as expected. I stomp over to him.
“Smoke, you son of a bitch!” I yell, and slam my hand into his throat, shoving him against a wall. My hand cuts off any protest, and everyone in the club is staring.
His eyes are wide, and I look around me. The club was just repaired. I can’t do this here. I drag him by his shirt out the front door as he is finally able to protest.
“Jason hey--“ he starts, but I let his head slam into the doorframe on the way out.
I toss him into the dirt in front of me. Half the bar floods out behind me to watch the commotion. I kick the steel toe of my boot into his knee hard, hearing the crack as it connects. The group behind me gasps in sympathy. He yells out in pain, but props himself up, trying to get up.
“Listen! You got the wrong ide--“ he starts again, but I cut off with a punch to his jaw. He falls straight to the ground. I stare at him as he tries to crawl away, my eyes ablaze with fury.
“Don’t even bother, you piece of shit,” I say, staring down at Smoke. I stomp down onto his ankle and hold him still.
“I did it for the club!” Smoke yells out. “You guys are trying to leave and it’s all that cunt’s fault!”
I shake my head and swing my fist into his face again. He falls flatter onto the ground this time. Images of Zeva’s burning home shoot through my mind and the anger wells up inside me all over again. I channel it through my hand and punch into him over and over.
Stone walks up and grabs my hand to stop one final swing. “You keep it up and he’s dead you know.”
I stare down at him, and then look at my bloodied fist. “Yeah … you’re right.” I wipe my hand off and draw my gun and put Smoke out of his misery.
No one fucks with Zeva and lives to laugh about it.
Chapter 39
Alex
Wade called a meeting at the Honeypot and everyone's here.
The air hangs heavy with tension and we can all tell that Wade's pissed and that isn’t good. He takes the stage and then admonishes The Order.
"There's been a fucking traitor in our midst. Smoke turned against us and tried to kill Zeva because all of you have been talking shit, as if this group is based on just us. I’m disappointed. I’m really fucking disappointed with all of you. This is supposed to be a family."
He slams his fist down on a table and paces the room.
"Our brotherhood is a joke. All those determinations of honor and solidarity, it all means nothing! None of you could tell that someone was plotting against our brotherhood? I'd like to know how that happened. Just how did you let this happen? Don’t you fucking assholes consider Zeva a part of this family too?"
The room is dead silent. No one says a thing. It's true. Someone betrayed us and no one knew and it puts this whole damn thing into perspective.
"We all put our lives
on the line and for what? Do you want to die for men who you can't even trust? Because I don't. And guess what? Because of this, we're making things real. The Honeypot and The Order are going legitimate. We're taking this mainstream and we're gonna make a ton of money and never look back."
There is grumbling from the men. Lots of people are against this change. We knew this would happen, but after everything that's gone down, I think Wade, and I, and Jason all realize the validity of Zeva's argument. She's seen death firsthand and how you can't go back. Her argument weighed on us. I know he's doing this to The Order not only for Zeva but for every wife and girlfriend and family that are a part of this gang, whether directly or indirectly.
He's doing it to save lives.
And we have a plan to make even more money than before, so I don't see what the problem could be.
"Anybody who doesn't want to come with us can do so. You can make your own gang, but none of us or our businesses will be a part of it. You can do what you want. You can die for what you want. But it won't be with me."
Wade is serious and he's a leader. I have a nudge that these men will follow him anyway, even into the center of society.
No more hiding.
No more criminal behavior.
"The Order is disbanding as of tonight. So I urge all of you to make your decision very wisely. Things are going to be different around here. There will be no more criminal activity. No more rivalries. It's all over. We're starting anew."
People speak up and argue back and forth. There is semi-chaos for a minute.
"What'll we do Wade? What about being brothers?"
"You are all still important to me and to each other. But I will not die for this, and nor should you. The Order is disbanded."
He leaves the room and everybody is stunned. There are different reactions. Some of the older members are torn. This life is all they've known, but they're tired too of the constant fight. Some of the newest recruits don't understand a damn thing. They wanted to be in a motorcycle gang, but if they want to do that they will have to go elsewhere. And most of the guys don't give a fuck about anything as long as the money keeps flowing in. This makes me realize how shallow it all was. If all they care about is money, then what were we fighting for?