All This Love

by Belle Calhoune

  “When I walk on River Street down by the water I feel Vinny walking beside me,” Tony said. “He’s firmly entrenched in our hearts and minds…and our memories.”

  Heath nodded. He felt the same in so many ways. Vinny had been such a dominant presence in life. His spirit still lingered in the hearts and minds of those who had loved him. “I know what you’re talking about. Whenever I go to the beach I feel as if Vinny is there. It’s powerful. He loved the ocean. When we were overseas he kept telling me how much he wanted to walk the beach when he came back home.”

  “It’s been difficult dealing with the loss,” Viola said as she brushed moisture away from her cheeks. “But we’re healing as a family. We try to hold on to the love we shared with Vinny when he was alive. Don’t get me wrong. We’ve struggled with so many emotions. Anger. Confusion. Overwhelming grief. But as those emotions began to subside, we just wanted to be thankful for having him for as long as we did. We were so incredibly blessed to be his family.”

  Viola’s words were heartfelt and powerful. Her strength in the face of tragedy was awe-inspiring. “He felt blessed to be a member of the Peretti family. Vinny talked about all of you non-stop. He used to love telling stories about growing up in this household.” Heath chuckled as memories of Vinny’s stories washed over him. All of the tales had been full of love and faith and heart. Well before Heath had met Vinny’s family, he had known instinctively that they were wonderful people. Much like Vinny himself. The best of the best. It was one of the reasons Heath had been so devastated by his friend’s death. A person like Vinny wouldn’t come this way again.

  A silence descended up on the room. It was as if every single one of them was thinking about Heath and what he’d brought into their world. Gratitude hung in the air.

  “Mama’s right when she said we’re healing, but we would like to know what happened.” Tish, Vinny’s twin sister spoke up. She darted a nervous glance around her as if she wasn’t sure she should have piped up. Stacia, the middle sister, put her arm around Tish in a comforting gesture.

  Tony nodded in agreement. “We do have questions, Heath. Ones we haven’t been given answers for as of yet. We understand things take some time with the military, but we would love to have closure if that’s possible.” Mr. Peretti was no longer smiling. His features radiated tension. Tony didn’t need to explain himself. The past year must have been excruciatingly painful. Vinny had clearly been the center of their world.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner and help you answer those questions,” Heath said. He wanted to be totally honest with Vinny’s family about his own struggles. “When I came home from Afghanistan I was struggling with a lot of issues. I have PTSD and I’m working to overcome it. Witnessing Vinny’s death was devastating for me. I felt guilty about that since he gave up his life for mine, so I tried to stuff it down. It didn’t work out very well.” Heath shuddered. “I know it might be hard to hear, but I want to tell you everything I remember about his death.”

  Viola reached out and clasped Heath’s hands in her own. “Take your time, Heath. Go at your own pace, son. I know it’s painful for you to relive this.”

  Heath nodded. Finally, he felt strong enough to talk about it in-depth with the people who had mattered the most to Vinny. “Eight months ago this would have been impossible. But I’m stronger now. There were things I buried, but I’ve spent the last few months figuring things out. I remember everything. And I want to share it with you. All of it.”

  *

  Afghanistan

  One year earlier

  Heath looked up at the sky and let out a sigh. It was a beautiful day with nary a cloud in sight. The sky was the color of a robin’s egg. Even in a war zone like Afghanistan, beauty could still be found. It never failed to amaze him. Lately he had been feeling such strong waves of homesickness. Although he was committed to the objectives of his country, he longed for home.

  Thankfully, he had just finished skyping with Bella. Although the connection hadn’t been the best, it had been a blessing to see her beautiful face staring back at him. And hearing her voice had been a Godsend. It made him all the more eager to get back home to her and his life in Pelican Bay. He couldn’t wait for their future to unfold. Heath had every intention of buying her a wedding ring and asking her to marry him.

  Corporal Vinny Peretti, his best friend and the finest soldier he’d ever know, walked up to him from the barracks. “You ready to go on patrol so we can come back for the barbecue? Italian is the best food in the world, but barbecue is a close second,” Vinny said. With his red hair and intense green eyes, Vinny didn’t look Italian at all in Heath’s opinion. But, Vinny was the proudest Italian he’d ever met in his life. Vinny was a walking fountain of information about Italy and the things that made it the greatest nation other than the good old USA.

  “You had me at barbecue. Let’s get this over and done with so we can join the festivities,” Heath said. “We’re saying goodbye to a few buddies today.” It was always a bittersweet feeling when they said farewell to their fellow soldiers who were heading back home. Although he was happy for them, it was hard to not feel envious.

  Heath’s mouth watered at the thought of eating barbecue. It reminded him of home. These days he was holding on to anything that reminded him of Pelican Bay and the ones he loved with all of his heart. Although it was his supreme honor to protect and serve America, he wanted to be back stateside.

  As Vinny drove toward the perimeter of the base, they came across a gate that needed to opened. Vinny turned toward Heath. “Get the gate, will you?”

  Heath sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes at Vinny. “I’m getting pretty tired of being the gate opener,” Heath said with a chuckle. “One of these days I want to be the driver.”

  “Dream on, Donahue,” Vinny said. “Remember that time you drove me back home to Savannah from Pelican Bay? I don’t recall ever being so scared in my life.”

  Heath chuckled. “You’re delusional. I’m so good I could drive for Nascar.”

  The sound of Vinny’s laughter filled the air. “Ha Ha. You’ve got jokes, Donahue. Jokes for days.”

  Heath jumped out of the Humvee and walked toward the gate. Things were quiet this afternoon due to the barbecue. Doing patrol was still imperative. There really was never a dull moment here in Afghanistan. When you put your guard down, danger always presented itself. None of them ever forgot they were in a war zone. To do so would be deadly.

  Suddenly, Heath spotted a figure in his peripheral vision. He turned his head and saw a figured dressed in light brown apparel running away in the opposite direction just as something landed nearby with a thud and a whizzing sound.

  Heath’s heart began to pound like crazy. The person fleeing had thrown a live grenade on the ground. He froze.

  “No, Heath,” Vinny screamed. “Get down. Stay back.” There was a blur of motion as Vinny ran in Heath’s direction and seemed to fly in the air, landing with a thud on the ground.

  “No!” Heath cried out, just as he figured out what his best friend was doing. The explosion rent the air with a horrific sound. The blast threw Heath backwards and he raised his arms up in front of his face as a protective gesture. A burning sensation tore across his exposed skin. He let out a wild cry of pain. Fighting against the burning sensation in his hands, he scrambled on his hands and knees, looking around desperately for Vinny. He had to get to him. He had to help his best friend. Bile rose up in his throat as he came across remnants of him. Bone. Flesh. It was too horrific for his mind to process. Vinny had sacrificed himself for Heath.

  He saw something gold glinting in the rubble. It was Vinny’s cross necklace—his most treasured possession. Heath reached for it, managing to grab ahold of it as searing pain shot up his arms.

  Suddenly, everything went black. Just before he passed out, Heath knew he needed to return the gold cross to Vinny’s family.

  *

  A hushed silence filled the Peretti’s living room as Heath fin
ished his story. He felt Micah’s arm around his shoulder, providing support. When he looked around him, there wasn’t a dry eye in the group.

  “Thank you, Heath,” Viola said in a raspy, emotion-filled voice. “They kept telling us he was a hero and that they are awarding him the Medal of Honor, but the details were scant.”

  Tony heaved a tremendous sigh. “Vinny was the quintessential soldier. For honor and country. And friendship. He loved you, Heath. You were like a brother to him.”

  Heath blinked back tears. “And he was like a brother to me as well. He gave his life for mine. I still can’t wrap my head around it. No one is more deserving of the Medal of Honor than Vinny. His career was all about countless acts of sacrifice.”

  “You’re right,” Missy said, lips quivering with emotion. “He always said being a soldier was an honor and a privilege and that he was over in Afghanistan to save lives. And that’s just what he did.”

  Heath nodded. He began to dig around in his shirt pocket. Viola let out a gasp as he pulled out Vinny’s gold cross necklace.

  “I’ve been meaning to give this to you, but I wanted to do it in person.” Heath quirked his mouth. “I think a part of me wanted to hold onto it for a little while, but it truly belongs with all of you. I never saw Vinny without it. It was his constant companion.”

  Heath reached over and handed it to Vinny’s mother. She took it and pressed it to her lips. Although the necklace had been battered and bruised and dented, it was a miracle it was still in one piece.

  “Oh, Heath. This means the world to me,” Viola gushed. She raised the necklace to her lips and kissed it. “I feel like you’ve given me a piece of my son back.”

  Heath leaned over and embraced Mrs. Peretti. They didn’t let go for a long time. For Heath it felt as if Vinny’s presence loomed large in this room, in this house, with the ones he’d loved more than anything. Being in their midst made Heath feel as if he was a member of the Peretti family.

  After sitting down for a meal with the family and sharing stories about Vinny, Heath and Micah said their emotional, tearful goodbyes. Heath promised to come back soon—and he meant it. This family was forever etched on his heartstrings.

  Once they were outside, Micah turned to him and said, “You did good, Heath. What you just gave to Vinny’s family is priceless.”

  “I gave back a small portion of what Vinny gave me,” Heath said, his chest tightening with emotion. Grief was the hardest road to walk down. It had peaks and valleys. In some instances, it hit you like a tsunami.

  “I’m grateful he was there for you,” Micah said, clapping Heath on the shoulder. “I don’t want to imagine life without you.”

  Heath stopped in his tracks. “I think that might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. I take it all back about Mom dropping you on your head when you were a baby.”

  Micah rolled his eyes. “Give me the keys. I’ll drive.”

  “Are you going soft on me, Micah?” Heath asked.

  Micah locked eyes with him. “I’m sorry if I didn’t fully understand everything until today. No wonder you’ve been struggling. What you witnessed with Vinny was horrific. I’m glad it’s all coming to the surface though. The best way of dealing with it is to acknowledge it.”

  “Thanks for coming with me. It really made all the difference having you there,” Heath confessed. Micah had been a steadying presence during their visit with the Peretti family.

  “Anytime. That’s what siblings are for, right?” Micah asked with a wink.

  “You’re absolutely right,” Heath responded, reaching out to clasp hands with his brother. At this moment he felt thankful for so many things. Healing. The power of friendship. Love. Family. And above all else, faith.

  “Sometimes, it’s enough that you love a person more than you ever thought you were capable of loving someone. That in itself is a miracle.”

  Bella Vincente

  Chapter Eight

  For the past two days, Bella hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Heath. It was rather strange since until recently they hadn’t seen each other for months and months. Now he’d gotten back under her skin. Who was she kidding? Perhaps he’d always been there. Heath Donahue was a hard man to get over. Bella couldn’t seem to stop loving him. Or caring about what happened to him. This visit to Savannah was so very important to Heath. And because it mattered to Heath, it was important to Bella as well. As much as she had tried to sever her connection to Heath, it had proved impossible. Now that they were expecting a baby, there was no way those ties would ever be cut. They would be in each other’s lives for the rest of their lives.

  He’d called her once from Savannah in order to check up on her and the baby. It had been a sweet and unexpected gesture that had worked its way right into the center of her heart. And from the sounds of it, the trip to Savannah had been worthwhile.

  And now, she was headed over to his house—the fixer upper he had bought a few months ago. After parking her car in the pebbled driveway, Bella stood back and admired the small white house with the lime green shutters. She couldn’t help but grin. Lime green was Heath’s favorite color.

  Bella knocked at the door, smiling at the sight of the seashell wreath on the door and the brightly-colored Adirondack chairs on the wraparound porch. A placard with the word Donahue had been nailed to the space beside the door. Heath was making his home eye-catching with all these special touches. She rang the bell and waited a few moments for Heath to come to the door. The moment he swung the door open Bella could see the look of peace etched on his face. Clearly, this trip to Savannah had been beneficial for him. With his short-sleeved blue shirt and tan shorts, he looked comfy and relaxed. And very easy on the eyes.

  “Hey, Bella. Thanks for coming over. Come on in,” he said, ushering her into his house.

  She stepped inside, looking around her at Heath’s décor. There were lots of black and white photos of Donahue family occasions and Pelican Bay vistas. She felt her eyes widening as she spotted a photo of herself and Heath. It had always been one of her favorite photos of the two of them. They were at the annual carnival taking a ride on the carousel.

  Bella turned toward Heath. He shot her a sheepish grin. “I’ve always loved that picture of us. I hope you don’t mind that I put it up.”

  “Of course not,” she answered in a low voice. “It’s your house. You can put up anything you like.”

  Heath grinned at her. “I’m a little surprised I was able to get you over here,” Heath said, his blue eyes twinkling with delight.

  “Well you did dangle a carrot over my head. I want to know what happened during your visit to Savannah.”

  Bella wouldn’t tell Heath that she’d thought about him non-stop ever since he had left Pelican Bay to visit Vinny’s folks. That admission would be a little over the top.

  “I’ve bottled up a lot of things. In particular, Vinny’s death.” He chewed his lip. “I know that I never told you about what happened. The specifics of what I witnessed.”

  Guilt pierced Bella’s heart. Perhaps she had been too hard on Heath. The issues he had been struggling with had been serious ones. No wonder he’d wanted to spare her. He’d gone about it the wrong way, but his actions had been pure-hearted.

  “I’m sorry for not understanding.”

  Heath shook his head. “Don’t apologize, Bella. I was the one in the wrong. I should have told you everything.”

  “It was obviously painful for you to do so.” The thought of Heath being in such turmoil and suffering from PTSD and depression made her heart ache.

  “Sometimes you just have to push past the pain. Maybe if I had we’d still be together,” Heath said. The expression on his face looked tortured.

  “Who knows?” Bella said. Suddenly her mouth felt as dry as cotton. “C-can I get a glass of water?” she asked.

  “Where are my manners? Let’s go to the kitchen. It’s still a work in progress, but I’m happy with the changes I’ve made so far.”

&n
bsp; Bella followed Heath down the hall into the kitchen. She let out a gasp as the all-white kitchen came into view. “It’s beautiful,” she gushed. “I love the old fashioned stove and sink. Not to mention all the vintage fixtures.” Although the cabinets had been ripped out and some of the flooring was missing, Bella could imagine how gorgeous it would be when Heath finished it.

  “Thanks. It’s been a labor of love working on it.”

  Heath pulled open the fridge. “Water or juice?” he asked.

  “Apple juice if you have it,” she said, taking a seat at his kitchen table. “This little one really starts moving when I drink juice,” she said with a giggle, pressing her hands against her belly.

  Heath poured her a glass of apple juice. “I’m not sure if I’m imagining it, but you look more…rounded. Is that okay to say? I don’t want to put my foot in my mouth.”

  “That’s fine. And yes. I definitely feel as if my stomach grew over the last few days. This baby might be a nine pounder at this rate.” Heath sat down next to her at the table.

  “Bella, I want to tell you about Afghanistan. About Vinny. I want to tell you everything so you’ll understand why it was so important for me to go to Savannah.”

  Her heart was beating like a drum inside her chest. For so long she’d wanted Heath to open up to her about his trauma. Now, she was all ears. “Please, Heath. I’m listening.”

  Heath began to tell her about the events of Vinny’s death. He spared no details. Tears ran down her face as Heath vividly described Vinny’s heroic sacrifice. When he told her how he’d recovered Vinny’s cross necklace, Bella thought she might just break down in sobs.

  “Oh, Heath. That’s devastating and beautifully heroic at the same time. Vinny loved you so much he was willing to give his life for you.” She wiped away tears. “What a wonderful gift he gave you.” She felt a bit shaky at the moment. So many things were running through her mind. Heath could have died in Afghanistan. Not just at that moment but during the whole course of his deployment. How could she continue to be upset with him regarding the past? What was the point in wasting time? Tomorrow wasn’t promised. She didn’t want to explain to their child one day that she had allowed anger and pride to stand in the way of their happiness.