“From what I can gather, they are a tight knit group, consisting of probably twenty or so. They live very poorly, but their basic needs seem to be met.”
“Did you make contact with our man Salvatore over there?” I asked.
“Yes sir, I did. I already arranged for the money to be secured into an account. They will never know where it came from. Per your instructions, sir, all monetary help with be distributed from the mission that oversees the village. Many families will prosper from your help, and the quality of their lives will improve.”
I wasn’t looking for pleasantries or a pat on the back from Donovan, just simply righting a wrong. These weren’t my sins, but I carried them for my father. It was the least I could do.
“Excellent,” I said to him. “I need you to get back here right away. I have to go out of town for a few days, and I don’t want to leave the day-to-day to just Jenny.”
Mentioning my trip out of town now put Reese on high alert. She stared at me with questioning eyes.
Donovan replied, “I should be able to get on a flight later tonight, hopefully direct with no connections. Walker, believe me, everything is settled here.”
“I do believe you, Donovan. You are one of the few people I trust. I can’t replace what they lost, but I can certainly help make their future easier. Call me when you are back in California, and safe travels.”
I hung up with Donovan and looked over to Reese. My beautiful girl looked like she was ready to run from my office. I have to get myself in check, and right now before I fuck up anymore with her. It’s these damn nightmares screwing with my mind! I was about to speak when she beat me to it.
“When were you going to tell me that you were leaving? And where to? You know when I woke up yesterday morning, I never expected to be treated to the surprise you had for me. It was truly beautiful. The euphoric moment that we shared made me feel so loved and wanted. The entire time driving here to your office, I smiled with you solely on my mind. How did we go from making love under the stars in our gazebo, to you suddenly leaving? Now you tell me you are having visions of your dead wife. Are you questioning us? Are we getting married, Walker? Or do you still want that?”
Her words were razor-edged swords slicing me through and through. I had to take a few calming breaths before answering her questions. Reese was gutting me right now. And I had no one to blame but myself. She looked visibly shaken. I kept my distance and didn’t push her anymore. I stayed propped up against my desk and as calmly as I could manage to do, I began to speak.
“Reese, if you believe anything I say from this moment on, please believe that I want to marry you more than anything else in this world right now. To walk away from you now is just abhorrent to me. I would rather cut off all my limbs than do that. You are mine. We will make it known to the world very soon.”
Somehow my words didn’t bring any comfort to her doubting eyes, which were now filled with tears again. I stayed where I was and extended my arms to her.
“Please, baby, can I hold you?” I asked. “Let me touch and feel you against me. I promise I will explain everything to you.”
She quietly accepted my request and folded herself into the safety of my arms. I don’t ever want to let her go. She’s scared and doubting me. I fucking hate this. This is why I never wanted to tell her about my nightmares. Phillip Reed is like the bad penny that keeps turning up, and I have allowed him to get to me and fuck with my emotions. I have to make this right. I will never allow my father to come between us again.
HE WAS HOLDING me so tightly. I had to pinch him to loosen his grip. Remembering this simple gesture I always did to him when he wouldn’t let me go, he smiled and looked up at me.
“I’m sorry, baby. I guess I’m still a bit nervous that I will blink and you will disappear.”
“Walker, I’m in this for life with you. Don’t you know that by now?”
“I’m trying.”
“Well, try harder,” I responded. “I will never leave you again. The days of running and hiding are over. If anything, I will be running toward you…never away.”
“Reese, I’m sorry if I hurt you when I mentioned Elizabeth, it was not my intention. I need you like I need my next breath, but your reaction scared the hell out of me. How can I not think you would turn away from me? You completely shut down at the mere mention of her name. Elizabeth will always be a part of my life. She is Jackson’s mother.”
“Walker, I wasn’t going to leave. I was just surprised, that’s all. I thought we finally let the ghosts of our pasts rest and were beginning with a clean slate. I’m sorry that my questions hurt you, but I can’t help but feel doubt when your mood swings tell me differently.”
“Reese, of course this is what I want. Please don’t ever question my love for you. I have never loved you more, and I will move heaven and earth to keep you here with me.”
“It’s exactly what I want. So if we both want the same thing, then we have to move forward and stop living in the past. Please tell me what’s wrong? What is it with these nightmares? Tell me how we can fix this. I love you, Walker. Let me in to help you”
“You are in,” he said. “I trust you completely. I love you with every beat of my heart. I will never keep anything from you. This is so incredibly hard to explain to you in detail without making me look like a lunatic. Are you okay? I want you to calm down and drink some water.”
“Walker, I’m fine. I just want to hear the rest of the story. Please go on.”
“Witnessing Elizabeth appear out of thin air was like a supernatural feeling taking over my body and mind. I actually felt her. I could hear her voice. And for a few precious moments, she was real. Do you remember telling me when you finally felt peace after dreaming about our son? You saw Elizabeth caring for him.”
“I do. It was the first time ever that I actually believed he was safe.”
“That’s exactly how I felt. When I saw and talked with Elizabeth, I knew she was at peace. She wants me to move on and stop mourning her death. She wants me to be happy with you and the family we are going to have. She wants me to stop feeling guilty and move on with you.”
“That doesn’t sound too scary. It sounds pretty wonderful,” I said, as I began to smile.
“It does, because that’s who Elizabeth was in life. She always put my needs before her own happiness. She thanked me for becoming the father I am to Jackson. She said she couldn’t be more proud. She also asked me to do something for her.”
“Which was?” I asked.
“Elizabeth wants me to forgive our fathers and truly move on from the painful parts of my past. She believes this is why Phillip is consistently haunting me in my nightmares. He is seeking forgiveness…my forgiveness. As long as I refuse to give it, he will keep coming back.”
“Walker, you don’t really believe that? Do you?”
“I’m beginning to. Reese, my dreams are so vivid. You would think he was still alive too. Now I know how this must sound, but we agreed to believe in the universe, right? Well, I believe this is its way of telling me something. I want to talk to Miles Jacobson again, make sure I truly know it all. A few months ago, I thought I did, but now I’m questioning everything. Also there’s Henry Townsend. I’ve completely shut him out. I don’t really care if I ever see him again, but I have to think about Jackson and what it’s costing him.”
He continued, “Reese, I know we talked about our time when we were separated, and how we can’t hold each other accountable to how we lived our lives, but I need to know something.”
“Okay. You know I will tell you anything.”
He sunk his head down. “Reese, I was so foolish back then. When I couldn’t find you and every lead turned up dead, I gave up. I just gave up. When Elizabeth passed, I never searched for you again. I had the means to do so and I should have looked for you, but I was just numb. I just lost my wife and was left to raise our baby on my own. I was starting from scratch. All while being without you. I tried with everything I
had to block you out of my thoughts. That alone hurt like hell. How can you forget someone that you handed your soul over to? It was something I struggled with every day. When I did allow myself to remember you, and the future we were supposed to have, I shut down again.”
Walker continued. “I felt like I was losing you all over again, a pain that was constantly pecking away at me when I gave it power to do so. Months turned into years, and well, you know the rest. Seventeen years later, we found our way back to each other. I forced myself back into your life like a speeding train with no brakes. You left your husband and the only life you had known to come back to me. Am I crazy to believe that I wasn’t being this obsessive and arrogant asshole that took his control back? I never gave you a choice. I saw you, wanted you, and ultimately removed you from the life you were living. I reeked of Phillip Reed. I simply didn’t care who the casualties were and the damage I left in my wake. Did you see it the whole time? Did you feel manipulated? Am I becoming…my father?”
THERE I’VE SAID it. I just gave Reese a full disclosure of all the bullshit in my past. I loathed this with a passion. This made me feel weak, and I don’t do weak. I wanted this over. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. Judging by the way she was looking at me, it told me this conversation was far from over. At least her eyes are filled with love and not pity.
“Walker, where is this coming from? Baby, you didn’t take back anything that didn’t belong to you first. You are not your father. Please don’t ever reference him again. Those words alone make my skin crawl. You are more a man than he ever was. I have always loved you for who you are, all parts that make up who you are. I am not blind, nor naïve, but I was foolish back then. I kept telling myself that I was doing the right thing by accepting all your father did to me, and to us.”
She continued, “He scared the hell out of me time after time, and when I finally had the courage to fight him, I lost more than I could ever imagine. I was lost and broken, just like you. I never planned on meeting Samuel; he just kind of appeared out of nowhere and slowly pushed his way into my life. I had lost everything that meant anything to me.”
She held my hand and went on. “Yes, I still had my family intact, but you know I kept them at bay. I gave up Freddy. I basically gave up. I could have looked for you as well, but I loved you from a safe distance and accepted my fate. I’m surprised I stayed married to Samuel for as long as I did, but once you convince yourself that you have nothing else, then it’s an easy conclusion. Once I had Riley, and then my teaching, they filled the voids of loneliness.”
“Samuel was more a friend than a lover,” she continued. “My life with him was safe and predictable. I played my part well as the doctor’s wife. I promised myself that once Riley was ready to leave home and begin her new life, I would be right behind her. I never expected that traveling that road would lead me back to you, but it did. And I couldn’t be happier.”
“Walker, our past is our past. We can never change it, and I don’t want to. I want to concentrate on the present and our future. We can never get back what we lost, and maybe your vision is correct. Continuing to blame your father will never move us forward. It’s over. We are stronger now. I will never push you to forgive him; that has to be on you. I can only speak for myself. The moment we committed our new promises of forever, I was done being angry. I am so in love with you, obsessiveness and all. I loved you then. I love you now. Thank God you forced your way in. My Walker: the only man I have ever truly loved, place your hand on my heart. Do you feel it?”
“Yes,” I replied, staring into her eyes.
“Good. It’s the same beat that matches yours. This is where you are and exactly where I want you to be. You are with me. In my heart. In my mind. In my soul. Forever…with me.”
“I love you Reese, I always have. You are my forever. I want nothing more than our life together. I want to pour my heart out to you. I never want to shut you out. Keeping you close to me is a full time job. I guess I need to work on communicating without scaring the hell out of you. Baby, I never want to see doubt or fear in your eyes when you look at me. I’ll walk on glass if I have to before causing you one minute of pain.”
I knew I had more to say, but I let my body and desire finish up our conversation. Reese felt it too. I could feel her heartbeat racing up against mine. Two hearts…one love. I didn’t know which one was faster, but we matched beat for beat. I locked my door and told Jenny not to disturb us. I carried Reese into my private suite. I had never taken a woman to this bed, not even Elizabeth. Reese would be the only one that I would forever make love to.
Reese stood there, appearing before me like a goddess. She untied her dress, letting it fall down to her feet. Stepping out of it, she then unclasped her bra and let it fall away to join her dress on the floor. Lastly, she slowly skimmed the rim of her barely there thong panties, teasing me. The scrap of material she called panties then slid down her legs. I loved to see her desires for me. She played out every part for me. She was a blossoming flower coming to life. I was beyond excited. Before I could say it, she knew what I was thinking. Leave the stockings on. My girl knew how I loved them on her long, slender legs. She reached out her arms and invited me in. I never undressed so quickly, discarding all of my clothing into a heap on the floor next to hers.
With one swift move, I had Reese under me. I began to make the sweetest love to her over and over again until we were sated. I was patting myself on the back for soundproofing this private suite. Her cries of pleasure were resonating throughout the room. I wanted to be the only one to hear my woman. After the multiple orgasms that racked our bodies, we were exhausted. I held onto Reese with all I had and listened to my angel as sleep took over her. She was right where she belonged. And nightmares or not, I wasn’t going to ever question our love again.
I tried with my best effort to untangle myself from my sleeping angel. She looked peaceful as she slept, especially after we weathered another storm together. I gathered up my clothing off the floor and quickly dressed. Glancing at the clock, it was way past noon. After unlocking the door, I ducked my head out to call Jenny in. Despite the soundproofing, she had to know what we were doing, but of course she discreetly kept her conclusions to herself.
It was close to two o’clock. My plane had been ready for hours now. Stephen had my pilot and co-pilot on stand-by with also Elise, my flight attendant, ready to go at a minute’s notice. I felt a bit foolish for having them wait this long, but I hadn’t anticipated Reese would stop by, nor my telling her about the day’s events. Jenny sat patiently across from me as she handed me a cup of coffee and a prepared fruit and cheese plate. I hadn’t eaten since seven a.m., and once again my assistant was taking care of me. I mouthed “Thank you” to her as I sipped my very hot espresso. I needed this jolt of caffeine if I was going to get through the rest of this trying day.
“Where are we with what I asked for?” I asked as I nibbled on some grapes.
Jenny shifted in her chair and opened up her tablet to peruse her notes.
“Mr. Jacobson is currently on holiday in the south of France. He is with his family. He is expected back in the states ten days from now. Henry Townsend is currently at his home in Arizona. His office confirms he hasn’t been back in New York since your father’s funeral.”
I didn’t understand why I was requesting any information about my former father-in-law. With my recurring nightmares taking up space in my head, I trusted my instincts to be on guard for anything. Henry was and still remained a calculating bastard. He used his daughter’s memory to persuade me to absolve him of the crimes he committed against me. No way in hell would he ever convince me that he was full of remorse. He certainly let his feelings be known when I confronted him about the part he played in separating me from Reese so many years ago.
I shunned him at Jackson’s graduation. I didn’t allow his grandparents to be seated with us. My security detail kept them at a safe distance from us. When they were escorted to another area,
Gail had given me a look of sadness, but dutifully followed her husband. Reese squeezed my hand, and once again her touch comforted me. She had only seen Henry and Gail once when she was first introduced to them at my family’s home when we were first dating. I had to remind her who they were. I doubt she would have remembered them. My promise still stood on what I would do if he dared to interfere with my life again. Henry Townsend would suffer a great deal if he chose to cross the arbitrary line that I had drawn out for him. No mercy will be shown. This I promise without any doubt.
“Mr. Reed, as you know, your plane is still on stand-by for take-off. Your pilot is waiting for your instructions on when you would like to depart. Sir, will there be anything else?” Jenny asked me.
“I need a location on Stephen.”
“Stephen is currently with security and also awaiting your instructions regarding your flight.”
“Have Stephen call the pilots and inform them I shall be at the airport within the next hour. I will be traveling with my fiancé, Ms. Reese Mitchell. I will also need you to phone over to Cedars-Sinai Hospital and connect me with Dr. Rachel Lemay. She is Ms. Mitchell’s physician. I am requesting her services for an emergency appointment. Have her come and meet us on my plane. Tell her that I will make it worth her while. I want to leave in the next hour. Make this happen, Jenny. Call me if we run into any complications. If not, then I will meet the good doctor at the airport.”
I had no doubt Jenny could pull this off. I paid her very well to be at my beck and call, with no task too difficult. I’m sure I sounded like a crazy man, but I would not leave Reese behind. Bringing her with me was the only option, and I wasn’t risking anything to chance. She said she was dizzy today and the morning sickness was rough on her. A quick check from her doctor will ease my nerves, especially when we were about to travel across the country.
I walked back into the private suite to check on Reese, who was now awake and on her feet. I closed the door behind me so Jenny couldn’t hear us.
Our Forever Promise Page 10