“You are all those things and more, Walker. This is what healing does. Today when you walk through and crossover the threshold, know I am with you. Let our love be your guide to finally wash away the pain, loss, anger, and your father’s sins. Remember our promise? We walk hand in hand on our new path to Forever. It’s time, my love… our time.”
“I love you, Reese, more than my own life. Thank you for coming back to me and putting me back together.”
Tears began to fall as I took her in my arms and crushed my lips onto to her delicious sweet mouth. I didn’t want to be away from her for a second, but I knew what I had to do. Holding her in my arms, this was my home. I knelt down before her, worshipping the very ground she stood on. I placed a kiss to her stomach and whispered “I love you” to our baby.
“I love you, Walker. Be safe and hurry back to me,” Reese whispered.
Kissing her once more, I led her back to Riley.
“Take care of each other. I’ll see you later.”
Riley smiled. I turned and made my way to the airport with Stephen.
WE TOUCHED DOWN on my family’s Hampton compound. The flowers were in bloom with bursting colors. The surf was rising. Today would be a perfect summer day. I would have loved to share it with Reese, but I was here for something else.
I took a breath and walked through my former home. Every antique was in perfect arrangement, not a dust particle to be found on anything. My mother kept her home in a meticulous manner. It’s been photographed for magazines more times than I care to remember. She would never leave this house. She shared this home with my father for over thirty years. This was where she was most comfortable.
After learning of my father’s duplicity, I threatened to burn this house to the ground, but that would destroy my mother. Learning of her husband’s betrayals was enough pain she would ever endure by me. My issues with Phillip were my own.
My relationship with my mother had been better, especially with Reese now back in my life. She’d only been out to California twice to visit with us. Mostly she spent her time with Jackson before he left for his trip, but we also had our time to reconnect. Reese had a way of bringing me out of my dark and into the light. I didn’t think I would be baking cookies with Olivia Walker Reed and singing songs by a fire, but we were definitely trying to mend our hurt and begin a new relationship as mother and son.
Pausing at the entrance to his office, I let out a breath and walked through the one room I vowed not long ago to ever return to. It was just as I remembered it, but one thing clearly stuck out. My father’s defaced portrait had been removed and replaced with one of my mother’s precious Picasso paintings. I looked around and didn’t see it anywhere. I would have to make a note to ask her about it. I destroyed it by throwing the decanter of scotch at it. I was blinded by rage and lost all control on that day. Miles Jacobson took the brunt of my anger and was so deserving of it.
My feet felt like lead as I tried to move about the room. After months of him being gone, I still strongly felt my father’s presence. I planned on saying my peace at his gravesite, but I thought this is the better choice, right here where he spent his final days and penned all of his sins in letters to me.
Sitting behind his desk felt almost forbidden. As a child, I was never allowed to play in here. My father’s office was his and his alone. When I was summoned to this room, it was usually to listen to a lecture on responsibility, my future role in the company, my choice for a wife. He certainly did have my life planned out for me before I knew myself, and then meeting Reese changed his plans for me. It’s amazing how following my heart changed my father and forced him to commit unthinkable acts, a fact I was still trying to wrap my head around and come to terms with. This was why I was here. I was moving forward and finally laying old ghosts to rest.
As I looked around the room, my eyes found a framed picture on his mantle above the fireplace. I don’t ever remember it being displayed in here of all places, but there it was. I got up and studied it closer. It was a collage of me. It contained my high school graduation picture, my college graduation picture, and a picture of the two of us when we christened the new Reed Global building in California. I guess it would be considered milestones of my life. He was actually smiling in this one. It was one of the few times he said he was proud of me. I took the framed photo with me and sat again behind his desk, staring at the man that led me back here.
“I’m here, father. I’m here to give you what you want…forgiveness. Where do I begin? Since reuniting with Reese and discovering piece by piece of your deceptions, I’ve been a man filled with rage, hungry for revenge. All I wanted was to make the people that hurt Reese to suffer. I followed through with some of it, and left the rest to suffer in their own pool of guilt and regret.”
“I won’t deny how much your betrayal has hurt me. You took my choices away and made them your own. For years, I suffered with pain and loss and never truly understood why I was going through it at all. I was so in love with Reese and planned my entire future around her. To lose her without ever knowing why gutted me through like a piercing blade. Why, father? What was it all for? For the sake of your ambition? Our company? Why didn’t you trust me to help you? We could have faced the problems you were having together, but you allowed Henry Townsend to manipulate you, ultimately changing my life. You made it your life’s mission to groom me to be the perfect mogul. I was a boy that had to grow up way before I was ready to, because this is what you wanted for me.”
“Was I ready, father? You seemed to believe I was. So why didn’t you trust me to help you? This is the one question that has been weighing heavily on my mind. If you were in front of me right now, this is the question I would ask you. I believed you got off easy by dying, but not anymore. If I hadn’t been so blind and arrogant the day you came to me, maybe I would have seen beyond my own sins, and acknowledged yours.”
“Then there’s your good friend, Henry Townsend. He said the reason behind his motives was securing his daughter’s happiness? Was that fair to her in the end? I can’t change what happened and what led you to do what you did, but I can change my destiny. It begins here.”
I ran my fingers over the framed photo and voiced the words out loud.
“I forgive you, father. I forgive you for me. I forgive you for Reese. I forgive you for Elizabeth. I forgive you for my mother. I forgive you for Jackson, and I forgive you for the life that you took…my son, Thomas Mitchell Walker Reed.”
“Yes, father, my son…my first son. You tormented, hunted, and never gave Reese a moment of peace. She wasn’t strong enough in the end to carry our baby to term. On your road to absolution, did you ever think of him? Reese is pregnant again, this time with a girl. She is just at the same mark in her pregnancy that she was with our son when she miscarried. You can’t even imagine how fucking scared I am at this moment. I watch her sleep. I watch her eat. I just watch her and look for any sign of distress. She is my life. Do you hear me, father? She was everything I ever wanted back then, and she still is today. You did not break her! You did not break us! I can’t spend the rest of my life hating you. Life is too short, and I lost so much time already. My future is with Reese and our daughter. My son—your grandson—will survive. Life is not that merciless to take away one more person I love.”
My breath was ragged, and my chest felt heavy. I screamed out to thin air in hopes he was listening. Yes, I vowed to forgive him, but it still hurts like hell to say the words out loud. I returned the photo to its rightful place and walked out of my father’s office, already feeling lighter.
Walking through my mother’s prized rose garden, I picked a few white roses. I felt they would deem best on how I was feeling about today. My mother loved to show them off. She always explained what each color meant and the right times to give them. I had chosen white, because they can mean a new beginning or a farewell. For me, it was both. I was saying farewell to the past, and my new beginning was with my family and all the good that was yet to
come.
The sun was warm on my face and a light breeze wafted at my back. I placed the flowers down on my father’s grave and knelt before it. I shrugged at what was in front of me, almost in bewilderment that this was his last mark on the world. For a man that lived larger than life, his stone was simple. His name was carved into the solid granite stone. No personal touch to tell you who the man was who laid beneath the earth. I traced out his name with my finger. “Phillip Alexander Reed.”
I wanted to feel something for this man who was my father. No tears fell, I was numb. I said a prayer for my father in hopes that he would hear it. It was a simple prayer for his peace. And then I said my final words to him.
“You never apologized for who you were. I guess that is one thing we have in common, but I declare, we have many things we share. I don’t hate you, father. I just hate what you did. I may have thought that I hated you at one time, but now I know that’s not true. You were my father. I believe you did love me the best way you knew how. I always knew who you were. You never justified that fact and still stood behind every decision you ever made.”
“The good you had in you was a legacy you left for your grandson. Jackson loves you, father, and misses you. Jackson has your watch with him, and it’s giving him the strength he needs to get through tomorrow and on the road to recovery. You don’t have to be in the dark anymore. I’m not a man that throws out false words and not stand behind them, another trait from you. Reese told me that when I was truly ready, I would know the right time to say the words. Did it take nearly losing my son to make me realize it? I’m not sure. I’m tired. I’m tired of analyzing every emotion that I’m feeling.”
“I’m sorry that my walls were up on the day you chose to break down yours. I wasn’t ready to listen. But all roads lead back to our past, whether we like them to or not. Sometimes we don’t have the power to stop it. I will no longer be guided by your sins.
“I. Forgive. You. Father.”
“You. Are. Free.”
“I hope what I’ve said here today is enough. I hope it brings you peace and the closure you need for the next life.”
“Goodbye, Father.”
REMEMBERING THE LOOK on Samuel’s face as we arrived this morning saddened me more than I realized. I knew he had many things weighing heavily on his mind, and I felt his loneliness radiate off of him. We were friends first, and he needed one right about now. If the tables were turned and I was in his shoes, I wouldn’t be feeling too hot either. It wasn’t as if we were parading our relationship in front of him, but Walker never eased back on his public displays of affection. I noticed that when Samuel was around, Walker became even more aggressive.
Walker would always be a possessive man. He valued what’s his and let no man stand in his way. Samuel was no exception.
Riley had lunch with her father today, a “do-over,” if that’s what you want to call it. It was her second chance at making things right between them again. They met down by the waterfront and dined at his favorite restaurant, Henningers. This time, father and daughter enjoyed a delicious lunch and had the talk that needed to happen months ago. I was so proud of her for finally letting go of her anger and animosity toward Samuel. They were always so very close. It hurt me that they were so at odds with each other. She had to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t the only one in the wrong, as I also played a role in the separation.
When Riley returned from lunch with her father, she looked happy and carefree. The worry I saw this morning was gone. She hugged me, and we chatted about her lunch with Samuel. I asked her where he was, and her simple reply was enough to tell me that my instincts were correct. He was on the roof. This was his one private place that he could go and clear his mind. With Walker still not back yet, this was my chance to speak with Samuel without being interrupted or my mercurial man losing his mind.
“Ms. Mitchell, are you sure? The roof?” Richard had nervously questioned me.
“I’ll be okay. Please wait here for me. If Mr. Reed calls you, please tell him that I’m perfectly fine. Understand?”
“Yes, ma’am, as you wish.”
Poor Richard. He constantly plays the buffer for Jackson, Riley, and now me.
I found Samuel where I knew he would be. Samuel was a creature of habit and rarely changed up his way of doing things, at least personally. He was in a corner with his head in his hands. I slowly made my way over to him without startling him of my presence.
“Samuel” I whispered to him, as I sat down beside him.
“Reese, what are doing up here? And in your condition? It’s dangerous and you can fall and get hurt. What is it?”
“I was looking for you.”
“You found me. If you don’t mind, I would rather be alone. Call your security dogs to come and retrieve you.”
“Are you finished being mean? I didn’t come up here to argue with you. And being alone is the last thing you need right now. And one more thing, stop being an ass.”
“I wasn’t trying to be, I’m sorry. I just can’t be here with you, especially right now.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because…”
“Oh Samuel, you can do better than that. ‘Because…’ is a child’s answer. I came up here to speak with you, and Dr. Briggs, you will listen.”
He went to respond, and I raised my hands to stop him. Placing my hands on top of his, his eyes widened as if he was surprised with my intimate gesture. For me to touch another man would not go over well with Walker, but this wasn’t just any man. He was a huge part of my entire adult life, and he was Riley’s father. We would always be connected. Nana always encouraged forgiveness, compassion, and understanding. Right here on this roof, Samuel needed all three.
“Thank you, Samuel,” I said to him.
“For what?” He looked incredulously at me.
“For being the man I always knew you to be. The man that held my hand in the hospital all those years ago when he thought I would be scared when I woke up. You showed kindness to a complete stranger when you could have just treated me like any other patient under your care.”
“You were so much more to me than a patient, Reese. You were the sun that lit up my life. I was blind and foolish to not value what I had. I should be thanking you for staying with me as long as you did.”
“Oh, Samuel, stop it. Please do not devalue what our marriage was or wasn’t. We had more good than bad, and I will never regret the time we had together. And please, you shouldn’t either.”
He broke away from me, as if my touch was hurting him. His back was to me. I asked him to sit back down, but he refused. I stepped behind him and placed my hand on his right shoulder. He jerked away.
“Please don’t. Please don’t build me up to something I used to be. I’m not that guy anymore. That man died the day he hurt you. I do not deserve your compassion,” he sulked.
“You are wrong, so wrong. Forget about being the great brain surgeon. Forget about the awards that line your office wall. Forget it all, and just remember who you are. You deserve compassion, friendship, and most of all…love. You are an amazing man, and I will not listen to you break yourself down as if you don’t matter. Your daughter is the same way, I might add. If at any given moment you don’t rise to meet someone’s expectation of you, then you feel less of a person and undeserving, which in my opinion is a bunch of bullshit.”
“Careful, Reese. Where’s your southern manners?” he joked and smiled.
“They’re right where your self-esteem is, in the shitter.”
That broke the tension. He was laughing so hard, he was holding his stomach. I wasn’t one to use these words, but when I did, he always laughed. It was one of Nana’s words that I used from time to time. I didn’t want him to retreat back to his dark mood, so I continued to talk.
“Samuel, do you want to know why I came up here to find you?”
He quietly nodded.
I continued, “Because I know you’re still struggling with
what happened between us back on that island, and what followed afterwards. Do yourself a favor, and let it go. Forgive yourself, because I have, and move on from it, never to talk about it again.”
“So what you’re saying is move on from you? And behave as if the past eighteen years didn’t happen? You sound like Christopher and Francesca. Believe me, Reese, I’m trying to move on, but it’s a daily effort to do so. For months our daughter refused my calls and any contact with me. I was so disheartened by her.”
“I’m sorry for that, and I know she is too. You talked it all out and are fine now, right?”
“She forgives me, and I her, but it’s still hard to come to terms on how we got there. After months of rejection and then to hear from her, it made me so unbelievably happy. She accepted my invitation of reconciliation, and to find out that it was laced with lies and deception hurt like hell. A few days ago, she was the same angry girl that shut me out of her life. She used me, Reese, to help her boyfriend. Now that young man has put all of his trust in my hands to help him. Of all the surgeons in the world, he wants me. How am I supposed to feel about this? He’s our daughter’s boyfriend—no, scratch that—her fiancé. I’m too close to this, but I can’t not do it.”
He continued, “I sat in my office on the night Jackson was brought in and listened to Walker Reed beg me to save his son. Again, I ask you: ‘How the hell am I supposed to wrap my mind around this conundrum that has brought us all together?’”
“Why question it at all?” I asked Samuel. “He chose you because you are the best at what you do. He trusts you to help him, and so do I.”
“Our daughter will never forgive me if something goes wrong. How will I ever be able to look into Riley’s beautiful eyes if I can’t save the love of her life?”
“I’m not worried.” I reached for his hands and held them in my own. “I know these hands heal and will be the same ones that save Jackson. You are a brilliant surgeon. You have been blessed with an extraordinary gift, one that gives your patients their lives back and hope for their future. Jackson’s life is just beginning, and it will be shared with our daughter. Please, Samuel, this will be the last time I ever ask you this again. Forgive yourself. Please stop blaming yourself for failing me. You were not the only one in this marriage. I’m so sorry for hurting you. You were my friend first, and I want us to be friends again. Please, Samuel, can you try?”
Our Forever Promise Page 29