“I promise, Reese, and I’m sorry.”
“Oh, Jackson, stop apologizing and just get well. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I’m going to step out for a bit. I’ll be back soon.”
OH THAT BOY! He is so much like his father, I thought to myself as I exited his room, only to be swept up into Walker’s strong arms.
“Hey! That is quite the welcome.”
“Thank you, baby.”
“For what?”
“For being you, that’s all.”
He kissed me passionately on my lips and in front of Riley, who was just smiling from cheek to cheek. I pinched him to put me down, but it had the opposite effect. Walker continued to kiss me until I was breathless.
“Stop it,” I whispered in his ear. His erection was evidently clear, I slid down his body and concealed it with my tall frame.
“Hello, my darling Riley girl. How was your walk? Feel better about things?” I questioned my daughter, but by the look of her face, I knew she already felt good.
“I’m great, mom. How’s Jackson? Is he still sleeping?”
“He just woke up, and I’m sure he is waiting for you. By the way, he says he’s sorry.”
“I know, I heard when he was telling you. I’m going to talk to him. Love you, mom. And thank you, Mr. Reed.”
“You’re most welcomed, Riley.”
MY FIANCÉ LOOKED so cute and sad just sitting in that hospital bed, looking all apologetic and contrite. I wanted to cheer him up.
“Special delivery. Hi! My name is Candy, and my job here at this hospital is to give our gold star patients very special treatment. I come with gifts. I have here two very delicious, mouthwatering hot fudge sundaes with all the trimmings here in this bag. I can feed it to you myself, if you need assistance,” I said.
“Come here, Candy!” he motioned with his finger, keeping his eyes focused on me.
“I’m here. Now what, sir? Perhaps a sponge bath? Or something else that might interest you?” I pointed to the bag.
“You want this, don’t you? Hmm, it sure is good. I may have to sample some of the delicious whipped cream.”
I removed the lid from the now melting sundae. I lapped up the ice cream that had dripped down the side.
“Hmm, this is so good.”
I continued to tease him with my mouth and then went in for the kill. I took the cherry and dipped it into the cream, rubbing it over my lips.
“Delicious,” I said as I bit into the cherry.
Jackson growled and pulled me practically on top of him. Crashing his lips onto my own, I loved to get him all worked up. If he was going to have another blood pressure spike, this was one I would happily be responsible for. We tangled our tongues until he broke the connection. He was breathing heavily, but still held on to me.
“I love you baby, so much. Forgive me for being an ass again!”
“I love you too, and you are forgiven. Jackson, we are going to get through this. Months from now, this is going to be just another memory that we will add to our story.”
“Absolutely. Can I have my ice cream now, Candy?”
“You may.”
We talked for as long as Jackson had the strength to do so. A nurse came in and checked his vitals, all was good. After we finished our desserts, I snuggled very carefully next to him.
“I spoke to your father.”
“And?”
“And he’s fine, Jackson. He loves you so much. My father and Dr. O’Larien told him exactly what they told you. They are all in agreement with you taking some time off from school to get better and make a full recovery.”
“That’s not what I want though! And what about you? I can’t expect you to just give up your plans for me.”
“You see this ring? The same ring that you put on my finger with the promise of forever? The same ring that holds all of our promises we made to each other? Yeah, Jackson, you can expect me to just change my plans for you, because this ring makes it okay. I love you. And because I love you, I will follow you anywhere. I would expect the same promise in return from you. So we wait a year for NYU. Big deal! Don’t ever put me in the position of choosing anything above us and what we have. I will always choose you. I would have never accepted this ring if I didn’t feel that way. Now, you have used up your “being an ass” card enough for one day. Kiss me before I find myself an Italian prince and run off with him.”
“I’d like to see you try. I will find you and beat his ass down, and then show you who you belong to. Now kiss me before I forget why I’m in this bed and tie you to it.”
“I love you Jackson…so much.”
“I love you too Riley. Thank you for loving me.”
WE STAYED IN each other’s arms until the next shift change of nurses. My father and Reese hadn’t returned yet, but my father did text me to tell me he would be arriving soon. I couldn’t thank him enough for giving me this time with Riley. I didn’t deserve his patience, but was thankful for it just the same. I owed him an explanation and probably an apology for the way I behaved this morning. They all kept saying it was because of all I’d been through, but I’d like to know that even with valid reasons, I should be able to keep my manners in check.
She looked beautiful in my arms. This is where I wanted her to be for the rest of my life. She was the one. I always knew from the first moment our eyes connected. She was now wearing my ring. I meant every promise I made to her. I gently nudged her to wake. She must have been exhausted.
“Hey, baby.” I kissed her on the top of her head, as she slowly stirred.
“Hi. Are you okay?”
“I’m perfect, and you?”
“Perfect. I want to make love with you. It’s all I dream about, especially when I’m in your arms.”
“You’re killing me, baby. I thought the ‘Candy’ bit pushed me to the edge of my insanity, but hearing you talk this way sends me into a downward spiral. I want you…badly. Every time you’re near me, my body wakes to your voice, and then I have a bone crushing hard-on for the rest of the day.”
“I can help you out with that part, if you want.”
“Not a chance. I love you for offering, but until I can love you the same way, I will just walk around with a case of blue balls.”
“Oh my goodness! Jackson, you are too much.”
We kissed each other madly until we heard a very distinctive clearing of someone’s throat. Oh god, was he listening to me talk about my erections?
“Daddy!” she screamed and jumped off the bed.
“Feeling better, Jackson?” Dr. Briggs had asked me, clearly not happy finding his daughter all over me.
“I’m fine, sir. Thank you.”
Riley hugged her father, and he welcomed the hug in return, but glaring over her shoulder at me in a disapproving look. Way to go Jackson. Piss off your future father-in-law.
“Riley, I’m going to examine Jackson. Can you give us some privacy?” Her father asked her.
“Sure daddy, I’ll go grab a coffee. I love you, Jackson. I’ll be back soon.”
“I love you too, beautiful girl.”
Riley practically bounced out of my room, causing her father to shake his head, but with a smile to go along with it.
“Okay Jackson, let’s have a chat. Clearly you seem to be in a better mood since the last time we spoke, but I’m more concerned with how you’re feeling post-surgery.”
“Look, Dr. Briggs, I’m sorry for my earlier reaction when you explained everything to me, I was just taken off guard. I’m also sorry for what you walked in on just now.”
“Jackson, I’m not that naïve, so relax, son. I know your relationship with Riley is not just for fun. I see how much she loves you. I know my daughter. She would have never agreed to marry you if it wasn’t for real.”
“Thank you, sir, for saying that. I promise to love your daughter forever. She’s all I want. I know I can make her happy.”
“You already do, son, this I k
now without any uncertainty. This entire experience with you has been a revelation for me. You are a good man, Jackson. Thank you for giving me back my daughter. I never wanted to hurt her or cause her one day of pain. I was dealing with my own loss, and I’m so very sorry for my actions. I see Reese, and how happy she is with your father. I never had that with her. Anyway, I’m getting off track here. We’re good, son. Now, let me be the doctor again and get back to examining you.”
When Dr. Briggs finished his examinations, he said to me, “Okay son, your scans are clean and AVM free. As for the numbness and tingling, we just have to take that day by day. You can wake tomorrow and it could be completely gone, or it can take weeks to go away. Once you are released, I would like you to begin out-patient physical therapy. Once you have the exercises down, you can continue on at home. I will always be available for any questions you may have, but your primary care will move forward with Dr. O’Larien. Once you are discharged from Johns Hopkins, your file will be sent over to Dr. O’Larien, okay?”
“I understand, sir. How will I ever be able to thank you for all you have done for me?”
“Jackson, I did my job as your doctor, now do your job as my patient, and follow my orders. And please, if you ever experience anything like you went through, you must promise to be proactive and tell someone. I don’t ever foresee another AVM reoccurring. Having said that, you still will have to be monitored, and if meds are needed for any reason, you must follow your plan.”
“I promise, sir. I have too much to live for to take stupid risks again.”
“Good man. Now get some rest. You will need your strength for tomorrow.”
“What’s tomorrow?”
“We begin your Physical Therapy. Time to get you up and walking. I can see the apprehension written all over your face, but try not to worry. You came through with flying colors with all of your follow-up tests. I wouldn’t be recommending this if I wasn’t confident in my assessment. Get some rest.”
“Thank you, sir. I will.”
Just as Dr. Briggs walked out, my Riley walked back in.
“Hey, I just saw my father leave. Are you okay? He didn’t give you too much of a hard time?”
“No, he didn’t. We’re cool. He just told me that tomorrow I begin my physical therapy.”
“That’s great news. The sooner you’re up and around, the sooner we can get out of here.”
“Yeah, back home to Fort Reed. It will probably be under armed supervision.”
“Stop it. Remember how you reminded me to keep an open mind when it came to my father, well the same advice applies to you. He loves you so much. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for you. Meet him halfway, Jackson, please?”
“I know what you’re saying, babe. Your mother gave me the same speech. I know I must sound like a selfish brat, but giving up NYU is a hard pill to swallow. I kind of feel like he’s getting his way. He never wanted me in New York. I argued every possible point with him until I was blue in the face. You can’t imagine how I felt when he finally agreed. Once I’m enrolled in UCLA, I feel like I’ll be stuck there. Bye-bye, New York.”
“UCLA is not a bad back-up plan. You don’t have to decide any of this right now. All you need to worry about now is concentrating on getting well. Please, Jackson, promise me that you will do that.”
“I promise, beautiful girl. How can I ever say no to you?”
“You can’t, so don’t even try. Now kiss me!”
AFTER THE STORM cleared and we came to a mutual understanding, Jackson was on his way to recovery. Although he was disappointed about not attending school in New York, he finally made peace with it and focused all his attention on his physical therapy.
To argue with me was a miracle in its own right. I read countless medical journal entries that my son could have had any number of setbacks: Behavioral changes, Loss of Speech, Memory Loss. The list went on. Once he awakened and was alert, he still should have been tired and weak, but not my son. He was fired up and determined to put this entire ordeal behind him. I promised not to interfere with Samuel and Liam’s plan for him, but as a father, I felt making him walk so soon after his surgery was out of the question. I wanted him to rest several more days before beginning anything.
I also made Riley spend her nights back in the hotel with her mother and me. Jackson wasn’t happy about it, but enough concessions were already given, and I had to draw a line somewhere. A physiotherapist was brought in from London. Dr. Gillian Taylor met Samuel during the medical conference he had attended during the spring. She was more than qualified. Her credentials spoke volumes of her success rate in helping post-surgical patients regain full mobility, especially patients like my son. She devised an aggressive plan that consisted of daily workouts in the gym combined with weight training, swimming, and yoga.
Samuel argued that it wasn’t necessary to bring someone in from the UK, but I spared no expense when it came to my son’s health, and I wanted the best…Dr. Gillian Taylor was the best. Before beginning his PT, Jackson went through another intensive round of testing to show Dr. Taylor where he was post-surgery. He did remarkably well. I never had a doubt, but he tired easily. He only had mild tingling down his right side. Jackson described it as pins and needles. He had weakness, but slowly he was able to move with the assistance of a walker.
Not to risk injury, the first week he was harnessed in between the bars to avoid falling. He did several reps until he could take no more. Gillian pushed him to his limits, but without being overbearing. She was compassionate to his feelings, having a daughter who experienced something similar to Jackson. Her own daughter served as a reminder to why she worked as hard as she did.
We talked over coffee one day, and she shared her personal story with me. Her then twenty one year old daughter had suffered a stroke while away at university. She wasn’t found right away and by the time she was taken to the hospital, it was nearly touch and go. Her chance at survival was reduced to the lowest numbers. She was in the hospital for over eight months and suffered many complications that changed her life.
She would never be able to walk on her own without the assistance of equipment to help her. She only regained partial speech. Her mental state had been reduced to a child of under seven years old. My heart broke to hear this. I was thanking the heavens for sparing my own child. After I shared this story with Jackson, he never complained again and was the perfect patient. Of course we were all understanding to him, but putting things in perspective made life easier for all of us.
Although his complications were not as severe as they could have been, nothing was to be taken lightly. His recovery could not be rushed. The doctors were confident that by this time next year, this would all be a memory.
Three weeks later, Jackson was cleared to go home. I was ready to go home. This was the longest month of my life. I pushed for more time to make sure he was ready. Dr. Taylor could not accompany us back home to California, but she recommended several colleagues to assist us once we were home and settled. I already had everything in place for him.
Liam had flown back to Maryland to see us off on the day my son was discharged from Johns Hopkins. Nurses lined the hallway saying goodbye to my son. He was their star patient. He couldn’t help flashing his perfect smile at them, especially at the younger ones. His flirtatious smiles had Riley turning into the green-eyed monster. He only had eyes for her, but I could definitely relate.
We all said our goodbyes, as Samuel handed off a file to me filled with more post-op instructions, as if I didn’t have it all memorized by now. McGovern of course made his presence known. I in turn thanked him for all of his assistance, by way of a very generous donation to the hospital. Money well spent. I would do it a thousand times over if it meant securing the well-being for my son.
Riley stepped out to say a private goodbye with her father, promising she would see him soon. Reese also had said her goodbyes and gave him a friendly hug. Her pregnancy progressed over this past month and was clearly show
ing beautifully with our daughter growing every day.
I stayed behind to speak with Samuel privately. I watched my son be escorted down the hall to the private elevators. Everyone was smiling and relieved that this ending was a happy one. It had been weeks since the day I rushed through these doors to hear the fate of my son. I had never been so scared in all of my life, every fiber of my being was tested. Once they were out of sight, I turned to the man that saved my life by saving my son.
“Thank you, Samuel. I owe you a debt that I will probably never be able to pay back. You did the impossible and gave my son his future. You put your personal feelings aside when you didn’t have to. I was wrong, so very wrong to judge you all those months ago. And for that reason alone, I am truly sorry. Thank you for not making Jackson pay for my mistakes.”
He stood there calm and composed. I could say nothing more that he didn’t already hear a thousand times already, so I simply extended my hand out for him to take.
“You’re welcome, Reed. And, not that it matters, but I truly wish Reese to be happy. If you’re the one to do that, then all has been righted.”
“Thank you, Samuel, and it does matter…everything in my life matters.”
I nodded at him and made my way to the one place I needed to be. It was as if it was calling out to me. The last piece of the puzzle I needed to put in place before leaving for home. I entered the quiet candle lit room and sat down before him. I once again prayed to the man before me. The same man that I begged to save my son. I screamed my demands at him and took no mercy on myself. I fought my own personal demons in this room. I had come full circle, and I truly believed that closure had been found.
Our Forever Promise Page 35