by Madison Diaz
She pauses. "Pink…a little big."
"I'd suck those big pink nipples right into my mouth." She gasps. "I'd lick and flick them till they got so hard. I'd slide my fingers right between your legs and feel the lips of your pussy. You'd be so wet for me, Leah."
She moans a little louder. "I'm so wet for you."
I can’t control my moan at that. "What are you touching, baby? Fuck. You're making me so hard."
"Rubbing my clit…thinking about your tongue." We both moan together. "I want it. I want your tongue on my clit. I want you licking and sucking, driving me crazy. I want you to make me come all over your mouth. Then I want your dick inside of me. So deep inside."
My hand is out of my control now, pumping me quick and hard. I listen to her breaths as she rubs herself faster too. "Oh, fuck, Leah. I want that too. I wanna feel how fucking tight and wet you are for me. Fuck. I want to bury my dick so fucking far inside your pussy and feel you pulse around my hard cock. Fuck. You're gonna make me come."
She isn’t talking anymore. She’s just breathing and moaning. I listen and stroke faster. My toes curl, and my eyes pin shut as I imagine her frantically rubbing herself in a hotel bed, thinking about me. I’m so close. I want to hear her come so bad, so I start begging. I beg for her to come so I can hear it.
We continue together for another few seconds until it happens. She lets out this throaty groan then says, "Oh, fuck, Nick, fuck," which makes me come so hard it shoots out all the way to my shoulder. I milk myself to the sound of her coming down. Soft, relieving moans. We listen to each other breathing for what feels like a full minute before she chuckles again. "I didn't plan for that to happen."
My eyes shoot open. That wasn't her reason for calling me? Is she that attracted to me? Holy shit. "Me either. I didn't even expect you to call."
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I've been busy with work."
I laugh, relieved. "That's okay. I'm not complaining. It was worth the wait."
"I'm glad you think so." I can tell she was smiling as she said that. "I called because I wanted to see you again. Ask you about the show."
"Sure. Whenever you want." My eyes tighten closed for a moment. "Except not for dinner. Sorry. I work nights this week."
"Hmm. Tomorrow morning for coffee?"
"Wow. Coffee date? Feels like we're taking things to the next level."
"Is that what coffee means?"
"Yep. Coffee means we're official."
"Hmm. Never mind then."
I laugh. "No! Friendly coffee works too. I was just trying to be smooth."
She giggles. "That was a sad attempt."
"Sorry. I'll be cooler tomorrow morning. I promise."
There’s a short pause. "Well, I look forward to it, cool guy.”
Chapter Four
Leah
Nick is the answer to my prayers. My whole pathetic life has been filled with people who have treated me like I’m not worth more than the dirt on their shoes. But this guy who barely knows me has made me realize how I should be treated. He imagines my body as perfect. He treats me so differently than most people in my life ever have, especially Ethan.
The last time I actually felt like someone genuinely cared about me was years ago, before my brother left. He had looked out for me when it came to our parents. He stood up for me and told me there was more to life than what we’d experienced, but the day he left a decade ago was the last time I ever saw or heard from him. I thought he had cared about me back then, but maybe I was wrong since he didn’t seem to care enough to check up on me.
Maybe I didn’t give him much of a chance either.
But Ethan. He came out of nowhere. We met in the parking lot at a high school football game after my botched date with another guy I’d met online. I didn't even go to school there, but the guy had said he wanted to meet me in person. Finally. I didn’t know much about sex, but I had promised him he could have sex with me. I thought going through with it would somehow add to my value as a woman. Make me more desirable.
Of course, I know now that was completely stupid. My life up until that point had been extremely repressed, which made me curious. I wondered about sex. I wondered about relationships and what it meant to be “normal.” I couldn’t talk to my parents about it, and my brother wasn’t around to ask, so I had to experience for myself. And it ended terribly.
I chickened out. I was all talk. Hours and hours of porn and cybersex with random strangers made me think I was ready. I so wasn't ready, but we made out. He wasn't as cute as his pictures, and he tried getting grabby, but I pushed his hands away. He got mad and called me a tease. I cried because I was young, stupid, and scared. I wanted him to like me, but nothing about the moment felt right. It wasn’t romantic like I thought it’d be, so the guy left and told me never to contact him again.
Ethan saw me in the parking lot. I was cold and alone, not ready to go back home yet. He walked up, towering over me. He was so strong and powerful looking. He smiled, and my heart fluttered. He asked why such a pretty girl like me was crying. I told him what happened, and he smiled again. I thought it was comforting. I didn’t realize until years later that wolfish smile meant he knew how easy it would be to manipulate me. How easy it would be to tempt me into a sexual relationship with him.
He was right. It only took a few dates and compliments before I blew him in his car. He talked me through it, then he came in my mouth without warning. I spit it out on him, and he laughed before bringing my face to his and kissing me like I meant something. It was the first time I felt like I meant something to someone. I felt I had a purpose. I knew what to do from now on to get those loving reactions from him, and I never stopped saying yes after that. I had to.
Nick makes me feel different. Like I’m a someone. Not just something for him to use when he pleases. I’m my own person, and someone he wants to know. I can’t wait for him to get here so he can call me beautiful again. I want him to stare at me in wonder with those beautiful slanted eyes again. I want to see him smile and blush from simply being in my presence. I want to feel something more.
We planned to meet at a coffee shop about five miles away from my apartment. Sarah and I had gotten coffee here once upon a time, but I hadn’t returned since. This wasn’t a normal hang-out spot for me, which made it an absolutely perfect place to hide from Ethan.
I couldn’t risk him seeing us... And he still hadn’t returned. I had no idea when he would. We’d be in big trouble if he caught me having coffee with another man. He’d beat Nick so hard he’d break his other three limbs. I had to avoid that outcome as much as possible.
The door flies open with the clanging of bells.
Nick pulls himself in by his crutches into the shop. His hair’s floppy against his forehead, as if he took a shower before heading out his door to meet with me. I’m sitting in the back of the shop, away from the windows and I wonder if his friend gave him a ride again. I took the bus, because if my car was outside and Ethan saw… I don’t want to think about it.
Nick's eyes fall on mine, and he smiles. He’s so handsome. Way better looking than I remember. The image of him in my mind when we had phone sex didn't do him justice at all.
I stand as he gets closer, then lean in to kiss his cheek. He grabs my hand and squeezes it, giving me this endearing smile, and it makes me blush even more.
We sit at the table. He props up his crutches against the wall again, then sighs before ruffling his hair. I watch in amazement at his muscular arms and clear skin. He notices me watching him, and he gives a coy smile. Why is he being so shy? He has to know how incredibly sexy and friendly he is. I’ll bet he’s a talented musician. He’s probably super smart too, since he got into UT. I don’t know much about it, but my coworkers have told me how hard it is to get in there.
"Did you already order coffee?" he asks, breaking the ice.
I shake my head then grab my purse. "I'll get it."
His reaches out to stop me, his hand warm on my forearm. "No way! Tell m
e what you want, and I'll get it."
"No. You tell me what you want."
He tilts his head, amusement filling his features. "I want to buy you coffee. I want to brag to my friends that I took you out on a date."
I’m freaking blushing again. "This isn't a date."
He shrugs. "My friends don't know that."
I try hiding my smile by biting my lip. I know what to say to make him like me. "Okay, well then tell your friends I'm one of those super cool progressive girls that pays on dates then sucks your cock right after."
He blinks. His lips curl into this crooked smile that has me swooning, then he looks away, blushing. I can make him blush with my potty mouth. It worked. "I wouldn't tell them that."
"Why not?"
He looks at me again. His eyes are more relaxed now, like I've turned him on. My smile broadens. "How are you real?"
I shrug. "Maybe I was just made for you." I bite my lip before pulling out my credit card. "So, what do you want? Seriously. I'm buying."
He crosses his arms over his chest and leans back. "Chai latte. Iced, cause I'm a softy."
"Sounds fancy. I'll be back." I shuffle from behind the table then go to stand in line.
His back is to me as I watch him. He taps his fingers against his thigh for a few moments before his shoulders relax. Pulling out his phone, he starts swiping across the screen. Is he texting someone else? Is he on Tinder? Is he Snapchatting?
I order two iced chai lattes. I don’t know what that is, but if he likes it, I want to try it. He smiles up at me as I put his drink in front of him then take the seat across. "How was your show?" I ask right away.
His eyes are shining. "Awesome. The crowd liked us, and my buddy Michael did a good job up front instead of me."
"Instead of you?"
"Yeah. It wouldn't look very cool if the guy with the broken leg was up front."
I nod, my face burning as I realize how stupid I must sound. "Oh. Right. Duh."
He tilts his head again, with a curious smile this time. He studies me before picking up his drink and sipping through the straw. I watch his lips over the plastic before he pulls back and licks them. I wonder what they taste like. I’m sure they’d be much better than my imagination. When I finally glance back up to his eyes, he’s watching me.
I smile before looking away to the bookshelf, where a cat is perched at the edge. I didn’t notice that two seconds ago.
"Leah?" I turn my attention back to him. His eyes are soft as they dance across my face. "Can this be a date, please?"
I snort. "So I'll give you that blowjob and you can brag to your friends?"
His eyebrows draw together. "No, because I like you. I don't want this to be friends having coffee. I want this to be a date where I kiss you when it's over."
Okay, my cheeks are probably so red right now someone will think I’m a tomato, not a girl sitting in front of a boy she’s developing powerful feelings for. A boy she barely knows. I didn’t expect him to say that. "Okay." His eyebrows shoot up, and he smiles so wide one would think it’s Christmas morning. "It's a date."
He leans against the table, and somehow, instinctively, I know to lean forward too. His hand reaches out and cups my cheek, and I watch as his beautiful eyes close. I close mine too, and then his warm, soft mouth covers mine. We tilt our heads as our lips collapse together the second time. Then they do it again and again. His kisses are juicy, and he tastes like chai tea. My heart beats so hard in my chest I think it might fall out onto the table.
Once he pulls away, I almost fall forward before opening my eyes. He grins like I’m being adorable, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. "I'm so glad you saved me, Leah."
My laugh is shaky. "Me too."
Chapter Five
Leah
"What has you all smiley?" my boss, Sarah, asks the moment she comes around the corner and witnesses me standing in the office, smiling, I guess. My final assignment for my shift is to make room keys for all the check-ins tomorrow afternoon. Was I really standing here smiling? "You were humming too," she adds, as if she could read my mind.
Sarah has become one of my only friends. Most of our other coworkers find me weird, and Ethan doesn’t allow me to hang out with anyone outside of work. There have been times in my adult life where I’d make a friend, hang out with them when Ethan wasn’t around, but he always somehow found out. I’m pretty sure he had friends watching me while he was away, making sure I stayed loyal to him.
I shake my head as I continue on the keycards, smiling still. "Just. Life. Life has me smiling and humming."
Her eyebrow quirks. "Did Ethan come home or something? Are you two working it out?"
Sarah knew we fought a lot and that he was controlling, but she had no idea to what length. I could tell she didn’t like him, but she never said anything negative. She simply made comments like, “Be careful,” or “I’m here if you ever want to talk.” I’ve been a terrible friend for never going to her about him.
I shake my head. "This isn't about Ethan."
"Then who have you been calling after every shift? I assumed it was him since…you know." I don’t have anyone else I could call? Thanks, Sarah. She rolls her eyes and lets out a huff. "Okay. Who's the new guy?"
I groan, shaking my head. "I don't wanna talk about it. Don't wanna jinx it."
“Aha!” She points her manicured finger at me. "So there is a new guy?"
I nod, trying hard not to smile. "Super new."
Her eyes sparkle. "Since when?"
"Two days ago."
She whistles. "Must be a nice guy if he’s got your mind off Ethan."
Nodding, I finally give in and find myself grinning. "He's amazing. He's nice, and he’s cute too. So cute. Way cuter than any guy I've ever seen."
She beams at me like she’s actually proud. "How'd you meet?"
I shrug, playing coy. "Rather not say."
Groaning, she slaps my arm. "Oh, come on. You won't tell me his name, and now you won't even tell me how you two met?"
I sigh dramatically. "It's complicated."
"How so?"
I shake my head and wrap up all the finished key-cards together with a rubber band. "Done. Here ya go." I turn and shove them in her hands. "It's eleven, so I should run. Need anything else?"
She blinks at me a few times before smirking. "Nope. You're good to go." She walks away with the key-cards in hand. "Let me know how it works out with your mystery guy," she calls out behind her before turning the corner back to the front office.
I grin like an idiot the whole walk home. I want to call Nick on my cell phone. I wish Ethan didn't pay for it. Maybe I can get my own phone and do prepaid or something. I'd need to open a secret bank account, and I could hide it from Ethan when he comes back home… Or maybe I can move out on my own. Would I be able to I afford it? I make above minimum wage and work full-time, but is that enough for an apartment on my own?
Still contemplating a plan to rid myself of Ethan, I stop on the outskirts of my parking lot. I spot Ethan's truck in his usual spot. My eyes dart to our apartment, where the light is on. A chill runs down my spine as I imagine how he'll act. Will he be in a good mood? Will he still be angry with me for helping Nick instead of leaving with him? Will he force me to do things I don’t want?
Running away right now won’t do anything. I have to go in there and face him. Where else can I go? Back to work where he'll find me anyway? I can walk around town, but he'll still be home when I get back later. I wish I could call Nick. He'd pick me up in a heartbeat. He'd whisk me away to a world where someone appreciates me.
I turn away before our apartment door opens and Ethan walks out onto the porch. He’s still as tall as ever with his scary muscles on display, stretching the wife-beater he has on. He’s in his boxers as the beautiful tall blonde on his arm wraps herself around him. They kiss as if they'll never see each other again. Honestly, they probably won’t. I’ve never seen a girl here twice.
His hands roam all ove
r her ass as he grips then spanks. Years ago, I would have thought that was sexy instead of the sickness filling my gut. I’ve changed as much as he has. She cackles so loud I can hear her from the street. Now I definitely want to turn away, so I do, but then I hear him shout my name. I pause. Should I run? No, he'll chase me. It doesn’t matter where I go. He will always find me. I know because I've tried before.
I twist back around as he shoves the other blonde along. She’s confused as she looks at us, but then she shrugs and starts down the stairs. I sigh, dragging my feet as I walk through the parking lot. Maybe because he already had sex he won’t put his hands on me. Maybe he’s in a good mood now. Maybe he'll leave me for her. Wouldn't that be great?
He grabs my arm with force and pulls me into the apartment. I go limp as he pulls me around like a ragdoll. He slams the door then pushes me up against it, covering my mouth with his. He isn’t soft and gentle like Nick. He’s rough and vigorous. His hand wraps around my throat as he holds me there and assaults my mouth. I don’t fight it.
He pulls back after a moment and looks into my green eyes with his blue ones, the blue eyes I'd once thought were so breathtaking, but now had a hard time looking into. Where did that man go? Where did the sweet Ethan who took care of me those first few years ago? Why have I always blamed myself for the way he’s changed? When do I stop blaming myself?
He roughly rubs his thumb over my lips and smiles his twisted smile. "Missed you, baby," he murmurs.
I say, "Me too," because that's what he expects me to say.
He pulls his boxers down enough to expose his bare cock to me. "Show me how bad you missed me, baby. Wrap those lips where she's been."
Tears well in my eyes as I think about Nick again. Would he ever do something like this to me? I'd once thought Ethan was sweet the way Nick has been. I thought Ethan was a godsend, and he'd basically told me he was. I gave him everything because I thought that was love. Would Nick turn out like this too? Were people always rotten and disgusting on the inside?