by Madison Diaz
I know it’s a bit childish to leave him in the dark like that, but I also know he never would have let me go. He would have insisted I stay with him and that he’d take care of me and protect me, but I don’t want that. I want to stand on my own two feet before deciding if getting back together would be the right option.
If he still even wants me then.
There’s a knock at the door, pulling me from my thoughts. "The babysitter is here," Mackenzie squeals. My eyes find Isaiah’s in confusion, but he only winks at me before turning away to open the door.
Mackenzie’s mom comes shouldering in, a broad smile covering her features as she comes into the house. "Oh, my baby," she coos at Little Leah before taking her from my brother’s arms.
My eyebrows rise at the event taking place in front of me. “Why did you get a babysitter? I didn’t have any plans tonight.”
Mackenzie turns to me with a wide grin. "You do have plans. It doesn't matter if you passed your test or not. Isaiah and I wanted to take you out to celebrate how far you’ve come. Just the three of us.”
My eyes widen as I glance at my brother, who nods, beaming at me with his arms crossed. "What? You guys don't have to do that."
Isaiah dismisses me with a wave. "Whatever, Leah. Let me do this nice thing for my sister." He grabs my hand, pulling me up from the couch as he wraps his arm around me. "It'll be fun. We promise."
✵ ✵ ✵
Isaiah and Mackenzie take me to this beautiful restaurant in downtown New Orleans right near the lake. I wish it were darker, so I could look out into the water under the moonlight, but the sun won’t set for a few more hours. Everything’s still breathtaking to watch.
We walk around after, stopping at different shops to look inside. "Oh, I love this place," Mackenzie claims as we walk right by the same bar Nick and his band played at a few months ago. The one where Ethan found me. The last night I spent in Nick’s arms.
"Let's go in," Isaiah offers, wanting to please his wife, of course. His attention turns to me. "Is that okay with you?"
I nod, not wanting to be a spoilsport. "Sure. Drinks on me."
"Don't be silly," Mackenzie says, waving her arm to dismiss me. "Our treat."
Isaiah's hand slides onto my shoulder. "We're proud of you, Leah. You've gone through so much, but you keep coming out on top."
"You took charge and stood up to that monster of an ex-boyfriend. You act like a badass, you get treated like a badass." Mackenzie leans in and kisses my cheek. Yep, definitely the sweetest sister-in-law in the world.
We pay a cover since they had a show going on tonight. "It'll be some good stuff," the door guy insists. Isaiah doesn’t seem to mind as he tosses thirty dollars to the man.
Since they keep being way too nice, I run to the bar first and get us a pitcher plus another first round of drinks. "Leah! You didn't have to do that," Mackenzie barks.
I shake my head, a giddy smile on my face as I hand their drinks off to them.
We find an empty booth off to the side where we can still see the stage, but we aren’t too close. We can hear each other talk as Mackenzie goes on this long rant about one of her friends who’s getting married soon. Isaiah listens to her, stroking her palm with his finger, smiling like her story isn’t boring. I wish someone would look at me like that again.
I miss Nick.
"Hey, everyone," a familiar voice calls out through the speakers.
No way.
My eyes dart to the stage. Speak of the Devil. There he is. Nick Sharp. Front and center with all limbs working properly.
Seeing him without the cast or the crutches is odd, unsettling. The past few months play through my head as I imagine him recovering. I missed all of it. "We're the Controlled Youth, and we'll be performing for the next hour. Hope y'all enjoy."
My eyes stay focused on the stage as the love of my life begins strumming his guitar. His hair has grown a little longer. His stance is confident as he bobs his head in sync with the music. That perfect mouth opens as his eyes closed, and I hear that beautiful voice for the first time in months.
Isaiah nudges me with his elbow. "You okay? You look freaked out."
My head slowly moves up and down. "That's him. That's Nick."
Mackenzie's eyes widen. "Nick? The one in the band?"
"Yes, obviously," I say, instantly filled with guilt for answering back so sharp.
Both of their eyes go to the stage as they stiffen. We watch as the band rocks through their opening song. It’s the same one they played all the other nights. What are they doing back in New Orleans? Their tour should have ended in June.
"Nice voice," Mackenzie observes, taking another gulp of her beer. She turns her attention back to Isaiah, and they start talking again, ignoring the handsome man on stage.
I don’t bother listening as my eyes stay glued to Nick. He moves around as if his leg doesn’t hurt him at all anymore. Women are standing in front of the stage, staring up at him the way I probably am too. They rock the house, everyone's heads bobbing, then they end the first song powerfully.
We stay long enough to finish our pitcher. My heart fluttered each time Nick spoke between songs. I swooned each time he sang.
"I guess we should head on home," Isaiah announces after drinking the last of his glass. Mackenzie nods, laying a wet kiss on his cheek.
"This next song," Nick begins, "was written about a girl who broke my heart this summer." Obnoxious and typical 'awws' come from the crowd of girls. "It's a new song, and my sister encouraged me to play it. The song's called 'Leah.'"
"Woah, he named the song after you," Mackenzie felt the need to point out. "That's pretty romantic." She winks.
Isaiah notices how tense I am, so he rubs my shoulder. "Don't worry. We can leave."
"She wants to hear the song."
"She's shaking, Kenz, she doesn't want to see him."
"I wanna stay," I finally butt in.
They glance at me then back at each other before shrugging. The audience's attention stays on Nick, who goes right into the initial strumming of the song. Carrie does the one, two, then the rest of the band picks it up. The song is completely different with all the other instruments involved. How long had they practiced this song? Was it out of anger? Did any of them still miss me?
Nick leans forward, and his eyes close again as he opens his mouth.
"Pretty eyes
Rushed into my life,
Who could have known?
I'd find something right
Love,
Is this love?
My heart swooned
And my palms sweat,
She sang
And I was glad we met
Pretty eyes
Poured into my soul,
I knew then
I'd never wanna see her go
Love,
Is this love?
Oh, pretty girl
You got it all,
My heart is yours
Just catch me when I fall
Oh, pretty eyes
Why'd you lie?
My heart broke
And a part of me died
Love,
Was it ever really love?
My hands shook
And I cried out loud
Hope filled my heart
But that was when I vowed
Love,
Is it always there?
Those pretty eyes
Could see through my lies
No matter how many times
My heart could die"
"Dramatic," Isaiah scoffs, glancing at me as if I'd nod in agreement. His eyebrows draw together as he realizes my cheeks are soaked with tears. "Holy shit, Leah, are you okay?"
I nod. "Yep." I watch as they play the outro. Nick's words sting, but he seems so unaffected up there. He sways to the music about love and heartbreak, and how awful of a person I was to him. I guess I did lie to him. I hurt him, and now I’m sure he'll never want me back again. And that’s exactly what I d
eserve.
I practically knock a waitress over as I crawl out of our booth. Her tray flies from her hands as glass and drinks crash onto the floor. I don’t have time to apologize or feel bad about what I'd done. All I could do was run to the exit, where I drew in a deep breath of humid air and clutched my chest.
Isaiah rushes out behind me. "Leah? Are you okay?" He puts one hand on each shoulder and stares down at me. "It's just a song. Calm down. You'll be fine."
My head shakes back and forth. "I watched him write most of that song. It might be on the nose and whatever other bullshit you're gonna say, but that doesn't change the fact he felt that way."
My head is in my hands as I try to collect myself. I hate this side of me, willing to yell at my brother who only wants to help.
"They're staying at the Motel 6 nearby," Mackenzie says, out of breath once she'd caught up to us.
I pull my head away from my hands to look at her. "What?"
She blinks, smiling wide like my heart isn’t ripped to pieces. "They're staying at the Motel 6 down the street. Room 204."
"How the hell did you get that information?" Isaiah asks, both seemingly annoyed and mesmerized by Mackenzie's detective skills.
She shrugs. "The bartender reads my blog and knows the band." She smiles at me. "You should go there after the show. Go talk to him. Let me know what happens."
"She's not going there," Isaiah tells her, putting his foot down as he looks at me. "Seriously. You've been through so much. I can't watch you go chase after some jerk because he wrote a sappy song about you."
"Isaiah, that's not your place to say," Mackenzie warns in her singsong voice.
Isaiah glares. "Was it your place to figure out his damn hotel room number?"
"Guys," I butt in, "Enough. Stop fighting."
"Are you going or not?" Mackenzie asks, taking a step forward. "I know you've been keeping yourself away from him, thinking you're not good enough, but you are, Leah. You're so good. Your heart is still so pure. You should at least try."
Tears well in my eyes again. "But what if he rejects me?"
Isaiah touches my shoulder again, his eyes serious. "Then he rejects you. And then you'll know it's time to move on."
Chapter Twenty
Nick
"Your voice is incredible," the girl who'd attached herself to my arm early on in the night slurs. She bought our band a round of shots then continued to sneak little sips from my beers. She'd smile all cute too with her dark brown skin and those big round eyes. She's so pretty and looks the complete opposite of Leah.
"Thank you," I manage to say, my head turning fuzzy from all the drinking.
"We're gonna head back," Carrie announces, slapping me on the shoulder. She turns to the girl and smiles. "It was nice meeting you. Maybe we'll see you around next time."
I nod as I slide off the stool, but the girl catches my arm. "Let me go back to the hotel with you. I got some other things for us to do to celebrate."
I can’t help but smile. "What are we celebrating?"
She grins. "Getting rid of that girl from your song." My heart sinks. "You deserve better than a girl who uses you. I wouldn't do that." She leans closer. "I'd let you use me."
"Nick, we're leaving," Carrie reminds me from a few steps back, her tone laced with warning.
I lick my lips. "Thanks for the lovely talk and the drinks, but we gotta call it a night."
She leans in, grabbing the collar of my shirt, and I say fuck it. I cup her cheeks in my hands and kiss her, shoving my tongue into her mouth as she runs her fingers all over my torso.
"Nick! Seriously?"
I pull away, and the girl hands me a napkin with numbers on it. "Call me next time you're in New Orleans."
Smooth as hell. I look down and see her name. Simone. Beautiful Simone with the big lips, the dreamy voice, and the soft skin. "Thanks. I will." We kiss one last time before Carrie drags me away from her. She giggles against my lips as I nip hers then wave goodbye, clutching the napkin to my heart.
"Who even are you?" Carrie asks once we get outside.
I shrug. "Come on. She was gorgeous. Nice big tits. Sexy ass."
"We're not here to hook up," she reminds me in a cold tone. "We gotta get up early tomorrow and head back to Austin before eight."
I wave her away. "Yeah, okay, I get it." My eyes roll hard enough to make me lose my balance and stumble on the sidewalk.
Sean is under my arm in a heartbeat. "You okay? We don't want you breaking another leg."
"I'm fine. Stop worrying about me." I shrug them both off and walk ahead.
"I'm hungry," Carrie proclaims. "We need pizza!"
"Pizza's good," Sean responds back.
Annoyance flares through me. She made me leave that hot girl behind to go to “sleep,” but suddenly we have time for pizza? Before checking my tone, I turn around to look at my band. "Well, you guys go get pizza or whatever the fuck, and I'm gonna take a cold shower and knockout."
Carrie pouts and flutters her lashes at me. "Come on. Pizza's as good as sex."
"No, it's not," I grumble, turning back around.
"You're gonna miss out on the shrimp pizza," Carrie yells behind me as I flip her off and head back to the hotel.
✵ ✵ ✵
It takes me a while to find our room since I'd forgotten which number we were. The hotel key doesn’t help at all since it’s blank. The only sign I’m heading in the right direction is the familiar blonde sitting on the floor of the hallway. Her body is slumped over, balancing her head on her knees.
My legs stop moving as my breath catches. "Leah?" I ask, ninety-nine percent sure it’s her. She doesn’t stir as I walk closer. "Leah?" I ask again, standing right above her this time.
My suspicions are confirmed when her head slowly lifts. She blinks at me with sleepy eyes. Those beautiful, dark green eyes. Those pouty, pink lips. That creamy skin with the freckles across her cheeks. She blinks again before she jumps up, surprised it’s me.
Her eyes roam my face and down my body before moving back up. Mine do the same as I take her in. She looks practically the same, the only difference being her clothes are new and her hair is freshly cut. "What are you doing here?" I ask, breathless.
She keeps blinking like she can’t believe I’m standing in front of her. She steps forward, and I step back. Hurt crosses her eyes, but what exactly does she expect for me to do? "I'm sorry," she whispers, her eyes welling before she looks away.
"I'm not in the mood for whatever drama this is," I say, hating how cold I sound.
Her mouth gapes open as she connects eyes with me again. They’re wide with surprise and can still bring me to my knees, but I can’t let her back into my life. I can’t let her have the upper hand again. "I'm sorry," she whispers again.
"Forgiven," I spit back. "Now get out of my way. I gotta get some sleep."
She frowns then stands a little taller, clearing her throat. "I wanted to talk."
My head shakes as I shove past her. "No time for talking. Might as well turn your pretty little ass around and go back to your old boyfriend or whatever the fuck."
She scoffs, crossing her arms. "I'm not back with him. He's in jail."
My hand freezes on the doorknob. I turn back to look at her as she stares at me with such intensity. "Well, whatever. Go find some other floor-mat, because I'm done."
"Is that why you finished the song and performed it? You're done with me?"
My fist pounds into the door, making her jump. I grab her arm and pull her body flush with mine. Her lips part as she looks up at me with wide eyes. "What do you want, Leah? You wanna fuck me again? My leg works just fine now. No thanks to you."
Guilt sweeps over her eyes at that. The only confirmation I need that her ex-boyfriend had told me the truth.
I take it further, wanting to scare her away from me. "I could fuck you up against the wall. I could push in real hard and deep like you like. Tear up your tight little—"
She slaps me. My eye
s slam shut at the sting. When I open them again, her hand is covering her mouth in shock. "Oh, my God. Nick. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"Whatever." I release her. I deserved it. "It doesn't matter. Just go."
But she still doesn’t leave. Why can’t scare her away? She grabs onto my shirt and pushes her body closer to mine until there’s no breathing room between us. "I can't go,” she whispers, her eyes searching mine. “It's my only chance to tell you how I feel. To apologize for how I left things. Nick, I was so—"
I break her off with a kiss. She gasps against my lips, so I pull her closer. Her hands fist in my shirt as I run my fingers through her hair, cupping the back of her head. I scan the card and open the door, pulling her in with me.
We nip and suck at each other's lips, clawing each other's clothes. I missed the way her sweet lips felt against mine. I missed her taste and the little breathy moans she makes as I run my hands along her body. I love the way her fingers tangle in my hair and her hips push up against mine.
"I need you," I whisper against her lips.
Her hooded eyes meet mine, and she nods. "I need you. I love you," she breathes out, but I don’t say it back. I can’t. I need to feel her body against mine, and that’s it. I'll get my fill of her and get her out of my head.
Our clothes are off in a flash as we stumble onto the bed, and I crawl on top of her. My lips move to her neck as she slides her panties down. I rip the straps to her bra right off then take one of her nipples into my mouth. She gasps, moaning as she bucks her hips up against my stomach. My fingers lace with hers as I hold our arms above her head, rubbing the dick in my underwear against her wet slit.
I moan. "You're already so wet for me, Leah. Does this turn you on?"
She nods, those pretty eyes filled with so much emotion. "I want you. I want you so much. I’ll do anything."
My mouth covers hers again as I push my boxers down and she helps me with her toes. Her legs immediately wrap around my hips. I spit in my hand, and her breath hitches as I wet my dick before lining it up with her opening. "You want it?"